On first glance you might miss it because she had her horn removed after puncturing her third water bed, but Beth is a unicorn. How can you tell? She is an honest and for real Austin native! Oh sure, she’s lived in other places; Boston (much though she tries to forget this flight of fancy), Ecuador, Peru, Costa Rica, and Argentina to name a few- but she’s never even been to Oconomowoc Wisconsin, so don’t you dare call her worldly. Beth loves to travel and will try almost any food that she isn’t allergic to. Related: Beth is deathly allergic to puppy dog tears so she always carries an EpiPen just in case her lifelong nemesis, Rhea Perlman, tries to sneak them in to her vitamin water.

Dance magic! Beth trained in ballet for longer than she would care to admit- though she has copped to the fact that 60% of the characters in the Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan were meticulously based on her. In college, she started to teach “Step” in order to pay the rent and stay out of Rhea Perlman’s crosshairs. Today “Bachata”, the sultry dance of The Dominican Republic, is Señorita Felker’s preferred mode for booty shaking. Her faithful canine companion Sir Quigley is her preferred dance partner.

Aside from dance, Beth has also taught cycling, competed in a triathlon or two, is a fervent fan of kettlebells, and hates being upside down… you can put baby in a corner, just be sure to keep her right-side up!

Beth is all about water beds. Beth is not about Rhea Perlman.