Scrambling to Read the Scouting Report
Interviews these days are socially distanced, but that did not prevent me from feeling imminently closer to Derek after this interview. The ability to engage and interact effectively as a soft-spoken person was one of the driving themes of this interview. The interview itself, fueled by a couple Pearl Snap Pilsners on the turf outside of our Manor Shop, was a free-flowing and gregarious affair. Even so, I walked away still believing that Canada is an esoteric idea rather than an actual country.
Ladies and gentlemen as we start this interview, Derek will be showing me a photo of his dog- a blue lacy, the state dog of Texas! What is your dog’s name?
Rudder- here’s a picture.
That’s a good looking dog- full grown?
Yeah, he is almost nine. He was a rescue- he has some anxiety stuff going on, so he can be a little bit needy. If he wants something or doesn’t want to be somewhere, he will let you know.
What prompted the decision to adopt a dog 3 months ago?
I had been looking for a dog for a while and then the pandemic happened and I started second guessing if I really wanted a dog or if it was the onset of isolation. So I pumped the brakes and waited until I found a dog I liked. This guy hasn’t had a bad life, but he hasn’t had a life that suited his energy levels so he has a checkered past. So I met him and really liked him but was a little discouraged by his past; but then I thought, if someone like me doesn’t adopt him, who is going to? So I did and it has been great. I live by the greenbelt, so I take him down there a lot. He’s not super clingy or cuddly, but he’s got a lot of personality; we just hang out.
Markedly different from my dog. Wednesdays are my admin day and I pretty much worked a full day from my couch with him curled up on my lap the whole time. So since I don’t know you terribly well, I didn’t want to come into the interview with too many preconceived questions. I know that you’re Canadian, that you’re kind and soft spoken, and that I like you and that is about it, so I just want to learn a bit more. I did ask the other coaches if they had questions for you and Stormie had a great one- she noted that you are a big fan of live music and was curious if there were any shows or artists you were targeting for when we can do stuff like that again.
That is a good question. Two things on my radar that got cancelled were a Jason Isbell concert that I had tickets to at ACL, so hopefully I can do that-
Have you seen him live?
No!
I’ve seen him in like five different states and he is amazing live.
Now I’m even more excited! The other thing I had circled was a Sturgill Simpson & Tyler Childers concert at the stadium where the UT basketball team plays. I really wanted to go but tickets were crazy expensive.
Yeah they were!
I was willing to deal with that and even go solo, I wanted to go so badly. So if those two things get rescheduled and I can do them in 2021, I’ll be extremely happy. But it is at best 50/50 I would guess. *rueful laughter* So yeah, I do miss The Scoot Inn and Stubbs; I’ll see anything there. I just like that it is outdoor year round and the vibe.
I saw my first show at Mohawk in February.
I saw a band there just before the pandemic and it was supposed to be outside, but it snowed, so they moved it inside to that little room. It was awesome, it was gross and sweaty!
I like gross and sweaty- it is why I work at Dane’s Body Shop.
It is why I come to Dane’s Body Shop! Just get gross and sweaty once every day.
Is there an analogue between appreciating the communal vibes in something like a concert and the communal vibes in a place like Dane’s?
Maybe. Maybe there is an analogue between those venues and The Shop. The thing that is great about (live music shows) is you go and see all walks of life, just like at The Shop. They also have a grittiness and a character that make them what they are.
So you like grit! That is now something I know about you. As someone who is seeking to know you a little bit better, could you give me just a brief rundown on who you are, where you come from, and how you got here?
Yeah totally. I grew up in Ottawa Canada- a small town outside of there actually. My whole adolescence, I was obsessed with basketball.
And you’re a tall man, so that makes sense.
Yep- I kind of got pulled into it but then fell in love with it. I went to Carleton University in Ottawa and I was a small part of a very successful program there. That program has won lots of national championships and beat a lot of good American schools- schools you would think that we had no business beating given what basketball is in Canada versus what it is in the U.S.
What position did you play?
I was a power forward- so a little undersized-
Because you’re six foot…
6’5″.
You’re taller than (Charles) Barkley!
Yeah, I was a chippy 6’5″. I did that for five years- I wasn’t a starter, but I felt like I had an important role on the team and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. All the people I met, we are still close friends. Great relationships- we took (the team) so seriously and it prepared me for so many things.
When you say it prepared you for things, can you give an example of how playing on this team prepared you for something in another part of your life?
Yeah, if I draw parallels to my job and being a professional, the toughest day that I have at work, there is no question that the stuff I dealt with in basketball felt like there was more pressure, more at stake, and harder to get through. There was a group of people that I was in it with and we were all accountable to one another, so the seriousness of that compared to anything I do at work makes (work) seem easier.
That’s cool, so basketball in Ottawa and then from there?
I have a degree in environmental studies and I got a job working for Natural Resources Canada as a project coordinator. I eventually got a job as a project manager at the company I work for now. About three years ago I was given an opportunity within the company to move to Austin and so now here I am.
That leads nicely into a question Dane asked- and I’m actually going to change his question around a bit-
Because it wasn’t a very good question?
Yes! And also he coached my virtual programming today and he changed my programming around so I’m going to change his fucking question!
An eye for an eye!
Exactly! So he has observed that you are a soft spoken person and I think he assumes that you are an introvert, so he was curious about how you process it when coaches talk to you during a workout. Like do you like it? The way I’d like to reframe it is, you’ve been very much not an introvert during this interview- I don’t feel like I’ve had to draw anything out of you-
Because you gave me a beer!
Fair enough! So I will reframe the question as how do you view the synergy of being someone who is soft-spoken but is also an effective communicator?
Hmmm… to address the perception that Dane has, I think he is probably pretty accurate- I probably am an introvert at first, but very shortly afterwards I’m a pretty social person. I don’t know if that makes me an introvert.
You still might be an extrovert because it really isn’t about first meetings.
Hmmm.. Well, I mean I get a lot of energy off of other people-
You’re an extrovert!
Though I do like to be left on my own a lot, I do get a lot of energy and enjoy interacting with other people. To answer the question, I actually like it when coaches talk to me and wish they would do it more.
That was my instinct- that you like it when people talk to you.
If the coaches read this, I would say that I welcome it; part of the reason I come here is to get the coaching. I may not be super approachable, but I’m totally down. I’m a reasonably good athlete and I’ve been doing fitness stuff for a huge part of my life, but I still have things I’m not great at. I also don’t want to hurt myself. If I’m lifting something heavy and my form doesn’t look great, I want to hear about it.
There is definitely a spectrum of members with respect to body awareness and acumen and you are on the more advanced end of that, so I wonder if coaches pick up on that and just think “oh he’s fine, I’ll pay attention to someone else”.
If that is the perception I think they should look again, cause I think they would find I’m not very advanced.
Coaches of Dane’s Body Shop, our Spotlight Athlete is calling out for you to stop ignoring him!
That would be a great outcome of this interview- if I got some more coaching. Not that I’m complaining.
I think Dane is going to be pleasantly surprised by that answer.
I wonder what I did to make him think that I don’t like being coached-
I think maybe he is projecting. I think he is someone who has been forced to be in the limelight and he is actually a true introvert- he charges up when he is alone. As good as he is around people, I think it is difficult for him from an energy standpoint.
Another good outcome of this interview would be if I got to meet more people at The Shop. I’ve tried to make a point recently to be more outgoing saying hi and starting conversation. There are a lot of cool nice people here.
How long have you been at The Shop?
A little over two years.
Cool. So I think you making that effort is part of why you were such an easy choice for the Athlete Spotlight- I think that effort in reaching out is something that has been in the air recently. I wonder if Dane hasn’t coached you as much recently and hasn’t seen the more deliberately engaging version of you. I’ve only started coaching you more recently and to me I absolutely see you reaching out and connecting. For a quiet person, I see you connecting to a good amount of other members. Do you have any fun stories about meeting other members or what your current workout relationship is like?
Obviously I work out with Sam (Wilson) a lot. He’s probably one of the most recognizable people at The Shop-
He’s a character-
Yeah! And we push one another but not too much-
So not a full on bro out, just a medium bro out?
Yeah, medium levels of bro. I’m going to miss (Coach) Mitch because we had a lot of inside jokes. We would talk about the Houston Rockets- hopefully he reads this- and how awful James Harden is.
I hope he does read this! I like when a little bit of shit gets stirred up.
I like working out with the people I know, but I also like just picking someone that I know will be able to do the workout quicker than I can and then try to keep up. Like Paul (Wittman-Todd), if there is running I know he is always going to beat me and I want to change that! Mel (Pearce Hooper) is another one. Even if people don’t know that I’m competing with them-
I think that is cool- having that rabbit to chase. You’ve got such a laid back demeanor, that I wouldn’t have guessed that about you. Putting the entire membership at Dane’s Body Shop on notice that if they are in class with a tall Canadian, he might be competing with you! I actually do that too- if I’m going to workout after I coach, I’ll note which weights someone like you is using and then force myself to do that. So I use you as my rabbit! Do you have any particular goals that you are working on?
I think for the first little bit, I was just trying to gain a level of consistency in fitness. I felt like I got a good base over the first year or so; that I could regularly do five or six classes a week. And then a few months ago I started doing Strength class, so I’d like to see how this cycle (until the next benchmark testing) goes and see how I do. I’m just trying to extend any athleticism that I had and to stay healthy. As a big guy, you want to stay at a good weight.
That is smart. I’ve told you that I came up with a slur for tall people right? That I figured tall people had it too easy and they needed a pejorative term against them. So I call you reachers. You goddamn reachers! I’ve since come around to sympathizing with you and your kind though.
*laughing* I would like to have been taller actually- it would have been useful. Overall though, not a lot to complain about.
Fair enough. Now I would like us to move on to some more random questions. The first one is, do you have a favorite basketball player of all time? Or in your case do you have a player you would compare yourself to. I was definitely a Rodman- all effort no skill.
What about off the court?
Um, no comment… but yes definitely.
I was obsessed with Michael Jordan as a kid, but Vince Carter was essentially a god in Canada. The current rise of popularity for basketball in Canada is directly related to him. *Dear readers, as a post interview caveat Mr. McConnery asked that his affinity for Larry Bird be noted. Larry Legend, Derek Diligent.* I would like to say I was a poor man’s Charles Barkley. Not nearly as athletic-
Or chubby.
Eh maybe.
I was a chubby kid and I grew up in Arizona, so Barkley was my freaking hero. That’s great, so one of the artsy questions I like to ask is if there were a movie about your life could you identify any of the following: A. who would play you? B. who would direct the movie? or C. what would the genre be?
Pass. I would like to answer, but I just don’t watch enough movies.
Fair enough, do you know who would dominate the soundtrack?
I can’t shake Dawes. I just love that band. Thoughtful but unassuming.
Here’s a follow up question to that and it is another question I ask frequently. If you had entrance music like a wrestler or just walking into a room, what song would play?
Oh! Audioslave, Cochise. That would be my walkout music as a batter or wrestler.
I like that! I’m digging the music riff here. Did you have any pre-game music when you played basketball?
Nah. A lot of people had music to calm them down or amp them up, but I was always just scrambling to read the scouting report.
If you were to describe yourself as a vegetable or fruit, what would it be and why?
Ummmmm…. I would say something with a shell or something you have to peel. The inside might not be sweet exactly, but like tasty and rewarding- you’re happy that you did. Maybe like a potato.
If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?
I would really like to be fast. I’d like to be The Flash.
That is great- it ties back in to what we were talking about with having rabbits in class to chase. What would you do with that power?
I’d beat all those people I was chasing in class!
The questions that I’ve been circling as a button question is the Canada thing. I think when I first met you I told you that I don’t believe Canada is real. One of my close friends has a belief that everyone is allowed one completely batty belief that no one can question. I just believe that there is no way that there is this entire enormous country of people mostly just like us but just a little nicer and the whole place is colder than Chicago. So my view is that Canada just cannot exist.
So based on the nature of the question, I have to just let you have that belief? I can’t ask you to substantiate it?
Nope! But I’m an open minded person, so I’m going to ask you to talk me off this ledge and get me to believe that Canada is real. Some evidence beyond the Toronto Bluejays t-shirt you are currently wearing.
Prove Canada exists? It may be proof that one day I won’t be able to workout at The Shop because I’ve gone back to Canada.
This is an extra reason for me to double down and believe Canada isn’t real. Fuck Canada!
If your theory is correct I’ll be here forever.
Extra reason to double down on my belief!
Um… we have currency.
Called the looney!
There is also a two dollar coin called a twoney-
This is crazy! I’m more convinced than ever that Canada is not real! Okay, so that was a primer question to the bigger question. What is your irrational belief that no one may dispute?
Oh gosh… I think ghosts are real. I can’t explain exactly what is going on-
That is the point- you don’t have to!
Thank you! I think that people who open themselves up to possibility and believe in things of a spiritual nature are able to experience those things and find meaning in a way that other people ignore. This isn’t a personal thing, but there are people in my life who have articulated things they’ve seen in such a way that I’m just forced to believe them.
That’s fantastic. Before we wrap things up, I just wanted to give you an open-ended opportunity to dispense any advice or thoughts to your constituents because you are now forever in the pantheon of Athletes of the season.
Hmm… I would say to people that the best part of Dane’s is that you’ll get what you put into it. Whether it is once or twice a week or totally dedicating yourself to it then you can get something out of it. You should be confident that whatever you are into, getting super fit or being more social, Dane’s is a good place. Just, you know, have a plan and do your thing. I’ve gotten a lot out of the consistency.
Yeah, you mentioned coming five or six times a week- that is a pretty high number. Do you have any advice for getting that level of consistency for people who may look at you and go, how does he do that?
Not every day is going to be your best day. You just need to show up. If you show up and do the best you can do that day, then you are well on your way to being consistent. Don’t overthink it- just get there; if you’re like me then other people’s energy will lift you up. Don’t beat yourself if there are days that you don’t feel as strong or fast as on your best day.
