Do you want to know what my greatest fear is? The thing that keeps me from falling asleep altogether most nights and, on the nights where I am granted a few moments of repose, yanks me at once out of my slumber in a cold sweat screaming like a banshee? That bottomless well of terror which is my constant companion is the prospect of my recording device glitching during a Shop Athlete Spotlight interview. On a balmy July afternoon, my great terror came to pass.
The couple drinks I had with Savanna and Doak were pleasant and refreshing, but not so fine a tonic as the conversation. These two staples of the 6am Strength class at Hyde Park had a beautiful rapport and played off one another marvelously. The loss of the full transcript is a tragedy on par with the burning of the library of Alexandria by that upstart tyrant Julius Caesar, but Doak and Savanna were game enough to recreate some of the finer points by answering some of the very questions I asked a few months later.
The spirit of the original interview is very much captured in the way Doak’s thoughtfulness and earnest approach to the conversation conterpoised with Savanna’s madcap irreverence. I’ll pop in and out with this lovely little italic narrative voice to offer some context and commentary.
(Coach Chad will be in bold letters) How did you two meet? I decided to start the interview with questions you might expect directed toward a romantic couple. Doak & Savanna clearly have a strong bond, but it isn’t a romantic one. In fact, both of their significant others get referenced in the answers to my questions!
Doak: We met at the gym. I believe my wife, Scarlett met her first at the noon class, but then she started coming to 6am strength classes and that’s when I met her.
Savanna: I met him at a Social Fusion about a year ago. He was playing cornhole with a bunch of guys that were all tall and exceptionally skilled at cornhole. I remember feeling jealous at their expertise and figured I had to hatch a plan to topple this Tall Men Who Are Good at Cornhole regime.
Aha! Our first example of the passing of time changing perception. Slightly different ideas of when they met, but the important thing is that these crazy kids did meet!
What was your first impression of one another?
Doak: She seemed very friendly, always smiling and happy with a sarcastic humor that I appreciate.
Savanna: My first impression of Doak was, how dare he be so good at lawn games? Who gave him the right? He seemed like a nice enough guy, but there was something sinister going on… I felt I had to investigate more. Over the years, I have come to find out there is an entire secret group of Tall Men Who Are Good at Cornhole at Dane’s Body Shop. They look like anyone else, but don’t be fooled.
The cornspiracy begins…
What do you think the other one’s most winning quality is?
Doak: I’d probably say positivity and humor.
Savanna: Doak is pretty consistent with coming to 6am strength class. He always uses the same squat rack, which really puts a lot of people at ease: to know there is one consistent thing we can all count on in a world of chaos! Also, Doak has a good sense of humor and he always finishes class on time, something I have never been able to do since (strength coach) Keith is always talking my ear off about his collections of antique furniture and stamps.
What is the one question you want to ask the other person but have always been afraid to ask?
Doak: I forgot what I said on this one during our live interview and not that I was afraid to ask her, but I think I said something about why did you move to Austin or how long have you and Zach been dating?
Savanna: Well, recently he let Tim Zeddies steal my squat rack. I have never been able to understand how Doak could allow such a crime to happen right under his nose. So, my question is… how dare you? I have my suspicions that Tim is part of this Tall Men Who Are Good at Cornhole group.
How did you find Dane’s Body Shop? A pivot to more typical and (self promotional) interview questions.
Doak: Through Scarlett.
Savanna: Instead of leaving me money when I lost my baby teeth, the Tooth Fairy gave me the address of Dane’s Body Shop and said, “What you find here will be worth more than any amount of money I could ever give you.” When I saw Jose Luis’ photo in the bathroom, I knew she was right.
At this point in the interview, as I recall, Doak was sipping a margarita, I had a cool beer, and Savanna was furiously slurping down a stein glass filled with ayahuasca.
Give me a brief rundown of what life outside of The Shop is like for you?
Savanna: When not dreaming of the fall of capitalism, I like to ride my bike, read books, and drink many cups of coffee.
Doak: Outside of the shop I’m involved in the real estate world as an agent, investor and developer. Scarlett and I are frequently in Rockport where we are working on a few airbnb’s and building a house. I’m also an avid golfer and Texas Longhorns fan, Hook’em!
What sort of goals are you currently or generally working toward?
Savanna: I recently learned about bioregionalism, which has led me to be more curious about what flora is around me at any given time. I learned in Rockport there is a plant called “sea grapes”, which “serve as a dune stabilizer and protective habitat for small animals. Tall sea grape plants behind beaches help prevent sea turtles from being distracted by lights from nearby buildings” (according to Wikipedia). Generally, I’d like to have a better knowledge of the natural world around me.
Doak: Generally just working toward staying fit/getting stronger, but would like to complete one of Jesse Itzler’s “29029” events in which you climb the equivalent of Mt. Everest (29029 ft) in 36 hours – https://29029everesting.com/
In spite of their differences, they are both highly driven individuals!
Do you favor a more fixed or variable workout schedule?
Savanna: I prefer a fixed workout schedule. I notice I do best when I start the day with a morning workout.
Doak: I am a pretty dedicated 6am’er, but like the flexibility of having options of classes at other times.
Doak, Do you know the name of all of your ducks? Coach Lauren sent me a few questions that she was curious about. This one and the next three are all her!
Doak: No, I only knew a few of their names, but Scarlett knew all of them as well as their middle names. The ducks now reside in Lockhart, TX at Scarlett’s niece’s house that is on 4 acres.
Savanna, explain, for us, your connection to “jorts”?
Savanna: It’s one of my favorite portmanteaus. Also, the word jorts sounds funny.
Doak, Would you let us have a coach’s retreat at your property in Rockport?
Doak: Of course! I don’t know why but I clearly remember this answer during the interview- glad it hasn’t changed because we’re totes taking you up on it buddy. Bluff called!
Both of you- who is your favorite Shop Ginger?
Savanna: Keith, obviously. Does the sun rise in the east? The other thing I remember about the actual interviewis that this insolent little trollop used this question to personally roast me with a calculated sadism not seen since the movie “Saw”.
Doak: They are all great! No Doak, you’re great!
If you were to describe yourself as a fruit or vegetable, which would it be and why? Now we do that thing where I ask a bunch of super silly questions so we really get to see what our SAS! Recipients are made of.
Savanna: I couldn’t help but wonder… if someone were to ask me if I would describe myself as a fruit or vegetable, what would I say?
Doak: Not sure what I said for this during the live interview, but I’d probably say a potato. I consider myself to be a pretty humble, down-to-earth person and a potato is a root vegetable, growing down below the earth. Another reason is universality, potatoes seem to play a major role in almost every major cuisine. Similarly, I can be a key contributor to any group, project or circumstance in which I find myself.
If you had an entrance song that played every time you entered a space, what would it be?
Savanna: Whichever song Tim Zeddies hates the most.
Doak: I think I said Simply the Best by Tina Turner, but I could put several AC/DC songs in there as well. Another great actual answer Doak- with respect to this particular interview, you really are simply the best!
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 50 duck sized horses?
Savanna: Probably… one horse-sized duck.
Doak: I’d probably say 50 duck sized horses since horses generally seem to be less aggressive than ducks can be.
If a movie was made of your life, what genre would it be? Who would play you? Who would direct it?
Savanna: I hope the genre would be picaresque and a chihuahua would play me. In the movie version of my life, there would be a lot more troublemaking and a high-speed chase in the Southwest. Maybe there would be a buffet and the biggest jorts-heist the world has seen. Holy crap, that is technically an actual answer! I feel like Will Ferrell’s Alex Trebek from the 90’s SNL Jeopardy! sketches.
Doak: I’d get Chris Pratt or John Krasinski to play me and probably Todd Phillips or Richard Linklater to direct it. For genre I’d say action, sports or military.
Now that you’ve joined the pantheon of Athletes of the season, do you have any words of advice for your adoring public?
Savanna: Get to 6am strength early or Tim Zeddies will steal your squat rack!!!!
Doak: Be consistent and show up. There are days we all wake up not wanting to go to the gym, but I’ve never heard anyone say after a workout that they weren’t glad they showed up. As the Navy Seals say, “The only easy day was yesterday!” Way to stick the landing for us Doak!
