ALTER-FITNESS Nutrition by Coach Veronica

Fuel Progression

Proper nutrition is a lifestyle and if you don’t know where to start you could fall off the motivation train pretty quickly. I understand that starting a new fitness and nutrition routine or changing up your present one could be overwhelming and challenging. Everything from what types of foods should I eat for my type of training? How do I feed my family and stay on track? How do I eat out? What about alcohol? To Supplementation timing.

I hear just as many questions about nutrition as I do about the body shop classes. Therefore, people from all fitness levels are interested in straightening out their food to make their workouts more efficient and help them reach their fitness goals. This can encompass those who are starting from square one, those that need to reevaluate and those training for a specific goals, event or competition.

Some effective ways to start tracking your nutrition to see if it complements your workouts would be to start logging what you eat. My past clients have found that writing down what they are eating and how much they are training helps them get over their plateau. Other clients have downloaded an app as a tracker.  Some popular apps are Lose It and  My Fitness Pal.

One of the most effective way to progress is to have someone that is knowledgable about nutrition and supplementation to assess  your current health program. They will be able to evaluate and make recommendations to help progress your nutrition program towards your fitness and wellness goals.

If are interested in a program that would include motivation, support, education and accountability please feel free to contact me with any questions about the nutrition programs I offer.  You may also read about them on the Dane’s Body Shop website.

https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/ASP/adm/home.asp?

You can also follow me on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alter-Fitness/140070616202655

contact: veronica@danesbodyshop.com

Daily Greens: 6lbs of fresh pressed greens

Daily Greens Image Did you eat all your veggies today?  If not, we have a fast and tasty way to make sure you are getting all your veggies with some added benefits of pink Himalayan sea salt and pineapple juice.  The best start to your day is to fill your body and mind with the vitmanins and minerals it needs to stay alert, sustain energy and be at the top of your game.

Daily Greens is a freshly pressed juice that offers a nutritional density that is 5 times higher than the standard juice.  Each 16 oz. bottle is equivalent to 8 servings of vegetables.

Start your day off right or give yourself a mid-day kick with a bottle of Daily Greens.  Don’t pay $8 a bottle at the store, order from DBS and you can get a 7-pack for $48 that is a free bottle in every pack.

email: leann@danesbodyshop.com with your order.

Follow them on Facebook and Twitter:

http://www.facebook.com/drinkdailygreens?fref=ts

https://twitter.com/DrinkGreens

 

 

Stretch Your Strength – Yoga Workshop Series

Stretch Your Strength  A yoga class series offered by Emily Bolt and Ari Witkin. Join us for an experiential journey into the physical and philosophical aspects of breathe, energy, and movement within Yoga. Deepen your practice, or start a strong foundation. For all levels and first time yogis!Introduciton Class –
Sunday January 27th 10am- noon

In this fun and inspiring yoga class, Meet Dane’s Body Shop’s Yoga teachers, move, breathe, and find out details about our new yoga class series ~ Stretch Your Stregth

 

Class 1 – Foundations ~ Breathe and Build.

Breathe deep and transform stress into bliss. We’ll start with an invigorating flow class will opening the back, core, neck and shoulders so you can breathe deeper than ever before. Learn new breathing exercises that will ground, enliven, detox, and de-stress you in any situation.

Lead by Emily Bolt
Feburary 10th, Sunday 10am-noon

 

Class 2- Intermediate ~ From Chakras to Asanas.

Get energized! Learn in depth about the yogic philospohy behind the Chakra System. Learn posses that target certain aspects of our emotions and psychology. Experience to subtle power of awareness and move through your practice with more consiousness.

Lead by Emily
Feburary 24th, Sunday 10am-noon

 

Class 3- Advanced ~ 8 limbs of Yoga and Arm Balances.

Come Fly! In this forth installment of ‘Stretch your Strength,’ we’ll flip our practice and take flight. An opening flow will loosen your hips, prepare your arms, and strengthen your core to give you the tools needed for arm balancing.

Lead by Ari Witkin
March 10th, Sunday 10am – noon

 

Stretch Your Strength Culminating Class

Ari and Emily will come together to lead you through a fun, challenging yoga experience that culminates all they have offered in the Stretch your Strength series into an enlivening flow amplified by a live DJ.

Pricing:
Introduction class – by donation, pay what you want :). Each additional session – $25 each.

Location: Dane’s Body Shop

INSPIRE 30 – A Motivational Wellness Event by DBS

Philosophy:

Are you seeking a lifestyle of wellness? Wellness is the interaction of the body, mind and spirit. In Dane’s Body Shop’s INSPIRE 30 program our goal is to inform, excite, and motivate behaviors that will trigger habits that promote lifelong wellness. Everything we do has an impact on our state of health. INSPIRE 30 is a holistic program created by coaches Leann Rominger and Veronica Monje that will influence change in the mind, body and spirit through positive choices in your daily nutritional, physical and social behaviors. We want to help send you on the path to long-term success and happiness.

INSPIRE 30 Program Details:
• 10 Day complete menu guide
• Grocery List
• 2 – 1 on 1 sessions with coach Veronica or Leann (30 minute sessions)
• Food Log (Daily check by coaches via email)
• Before and After measurements (weight, body fat %)
• Unlimited access to Veronica and Leann for questions, support and motivation
• Daily accountability emails containing, relative articles, recipes and motivational advice
• Pre and Post workout nutrition and supplementation advice
• Goal Setting Template and planning
PROGRAM EVENTS:
January 27th: Programs overview and mini-market with Wellness Vendors and Specialist
February 3rd: Hour and half yoga cleanse and restorative session
February 10th: MOTIVATIONAL POT LUCK dinner with Renowned Guest Speakers
February 17th: Program wrap-up, measurements, closing information and SURPRISE event with coach Veronica and Leann.
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Great related Articles:

Dane’s Body Shop in REAL Magazine January 2013

REAL Magazine: When we put out the call asking for Austin’s best fitness trainers, the reviews streamed in like runners across the finish line of a downhill race.

Amanda Gonzales, who looks to Dane Krager to keep her fit and motivated. Once, while practicing squats, Krager grabbed her hand so she could lean back farther. In a calm and encouraging voice, he told her to trust him, that she could do anything if she put her heart and mind into it.

“I told Dane then and there I trust him more than he knows,” Gonzales says. “I trust him with my health and well-being, and it’s because I know he truly does care to see me succeed and achieve my fitness goals.”

From his Hyde Park studio, former professional football player Dane Krager, 33, tunes up all kinds of bodies, from those who want to climb mountains to those who just want to strengthen their bodies for life. He calls it fusion fitness, a sort of mash-up of Crossfit, yoga, Pilates, running and martial arts, with a squeeze of holistic wellness tossed in. “I want (my clients) to be able to do what I’m teaching them for the rest of their lives,” he says. “It’s something they can feel good about doing that won’t hurt their joints, bones or muscles.” Certified by National Academy of Sports Medicine. Dane’s Body Shop, 4227 Guadalupe St.; www.danesbodyshop.com.

Krager’s tip for Wendi Kushner: “It seems like you’re ready to take my dream vacation, so get after the muscular conditioning and range of motion exercises. Do a combination of strength endurance routines mixed with your favorite yoga practice to keep those well-conditioned muscles capable of speedy recovery after long adventures.”

Fusion Athletes of the Month – December

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coaches at Dane’s Body Shop are proud to announce our December Fusion Athletes of the Month, Daniel Gonzales and Ana Garces-Wood. Daniel and Ana have shown the character, drive, support and love for health that we want to represent here at the Shop and throughout the community. Congratulations to both of you, we have enjoyed watching you grow and can’t wait to see the amazing things you will accomplish in the next year. Read and find out more about our December Fusion Athletes.

Daniel Gonzales

Tell us a little about yourself.
I always like to win! I am very competitive in everything I do. I grew up playing all sports, always outside and I love to mountain bike.

Tell us about your fitness background.
My fitness background has alway been up and down, and what I mean by up and down is working out for a month then take a 3 to 4 month sabbatical. I have always gone to your traditional gyms, but it always felt weird to go inside to workout, so I guess I never found it to be a good investment.

How did you find out about DBS Shop?
LOL! Since November of last year I would drive by and tell myself I needed to stop by and check it out. I mentioned it to a friend, and he said one of the coaches there was a good friend of his. I finally went in and tried it out and haven’t left since.

What made your come back after your first class?
My first class was the Strength class and it was exactly what I was looking for. Then all the other just classes fell in to place.

How has DBS and the DBS community impacted your life?
The impact is humbling and what a great life experience it has been. Which in return will continue to create more amazing experiences.

You attend all classes offered at the Shop, Yoga, Strength and Fusion.  Why do you feel that is important?
I have always wanted to find a place where I could build strength, speed and flexibility. I make it a priority to get to all three classes each week.

What is your favorite movement?
Man makers
What is your least favorite movement?
Squats

What are you visions for DBS in the future?
Working together with DBS community to make it the best in Austin and beyond.

What has been your proudest moment or biggest accomplishment since joining DBS?
My proudest moment is having the ability to do a fusion class and strength class back to back. Also, the time I arm wrestled an entire country bar downtown.

What goals do you have for yourself in the coming year?
My goal for the next year is to become stronger and faster!!

Ana Garces-Wood

How did you hear about DBS?
I heard about DBS through the Whole Foods boot camp last winter originally sponsored by Lululemon.

How long have you been coming to classes at DBS?
I have been at DBS consistently for about 6 months now and have enjoyed every minute of it, even if my body aches for days!

You are a 5 a.m. warrior, tell me a little more about that class.
The 5 a.m. class is unparalleled. It is a little bit like a dysfunctional family that goads and inspires one another to strive to do the unimaginable, which usually includes that 5th round or increasing the weight you lift by 10lbs. Everyone there is excited to be there.

What inspires you to get up at 4:30 in the morning and come workout?
The people inspire me, they do not judge even when they have lapped you once, maybe twice. All they want is for everyone to succeed and to feel welcome. Also the coaches are awesome. They get up at same disgusting hour and bring their enthusiasm and amazing personality to push past our previously thought limits.

You are an amazing women, working 2 jobs and juggling many other important things in your life.  How do you find time to workout?
Exercise has only entered my life within the past two years. It started with training for half marathons, but was becoming bored with the monotony. I felt like my workouts were missing something and that is where Danes came in. For the first time in my life I feel like I am addicted to working out. I find time because I love it and it helps with the stress of school and work. It’s also nice that I have some visible triceps to show for that addiction. Also, I love the community so it’s a little like my fun, social time.

You bring your boyfriend to workout at our PEASE PARK community boot camp.  What do you find the most rewarding thing about working out with a significant other or friend?
I love introducing the people I love to the activity I love. The best experience was when I brought my brother to the community boot camp. It was so amazing to bond over getting our butts kicked and then the recovery that lasted for DAYS after.

You are an avid Wine Night attendee, what has been your favorite food item or wine thus far?
Well while I love red wine, the Wine Nights are always perfected with the bubbles! Also I love the guac!

You are an ambassador for DBS because you show up to classes, community events, 21 Day Holiday Challenge and social functions with a huge smile and a winning attitude.  How has the community at DBS effected your desire to workout and belong to a new group of liked minded folks?
It all starts with the coaches. Each one brings something different. I love that Leann works me harder than I ever thought possible. Word of advice, be wary of her “surprises.” They can be painful! Then there’s Veronica and her unassuming confidence in my abilities, which calms my worries when increasing in weight. Dane makes things look way easier than they actually turn out to be, but that false sense of ease makes the workouts more interesting. He also played a fabulous astronaut! Matt mixes humor with athleticism, making the workouts more enjoyable. Overall the coaches are extremely welcoming and knowledgeable and I owe them so much. Then there are the people working their butts off next to you every day. Without my 5am warriors and the rest of the Dane’s community I would not be as motivated to work harder. I don’t know how to thank the Dane’s community for all that it has done for me, other than to continue to come and encourage help others achieve their goals.

What is your favorite movement, least favorite?
Favorite movement thus far is the box jump burpees (especially since I have graduated to the BIG BOX! Yipee). Least favorite might have to be the kong walk, which I was only recently introduced to. It is a lot harder than it looks and it looks pretty goofy!

 I notice you are still keeping up with recording your workouts and food log from our 21 Day Challenge. How did that experience effect your overall wellness and fitness goals?

I like the recording of the workouts and food as a way to note my progress and to make myself accountable. I started at Danes thinking that the only thing that needed correcting was my workout, but I did not give enough thought to the nutrition. The better I eat the better I perform, which is what the 21 Day Challenge with Veronica, and Leann really taught me.

What future goals do you have set for yourself?
My big goal, ever since I started, is to do a strict pull up. I am getting close but, as the Cuban says and the saying goes, no cigar!

If you could sum up your experience at DBS in one sentence what would you say?
DBS has made me physically and mentally stronger and allowed me to find the confidence in myself to be the person I am constantly striving to be.

EAT LIKE A DINOSAUR- HOW TO ESCAPE THE OVER PROCESSED GLUTEN-FREE TREND

Marketing in America is quite amazing.  How many people a year ago had heard of gluten or celiac disease?  It is amazing how fast companies can pick up on trends and twist information around in order to gain a profit.  Unfortunately, for the Gluten-Free fad the marketing departments are taking a real disease and problem for many Americans and instead of making it healthier they are making it worse.

I knew we had hit an all time low when I drove by a national pizza chain advertising “Gluten-Free” crust.  The ingredients in a “gluten-free” crust are as follows: Water, Rice Flour, Rice Starch, Potato Starch, Olive Oil, Evaporated Cane Juice, Tapioca Flour, Potato Flour, Fresh Yeast, Avicel, Salt, Calcium Propionate.  I don’t know about you but I don’t eat those processed foods on a regular basis.  If I am trying to make a healthier choice by going “gluten-free” does adding these processed foods to my diet make sense?  For me, the answer is no.  How can you avoid gluten in order to feel better and avoid the inflammatory response (this does not mean you are celiac it is just the bodies natural reaction to gluten and each persons body reacts differently)  it causes in the majority of Americans?

Simply put, eat Whole Foods, it Real Foods, if you can pick it from the earth, gather it, or hunt it down, then by all means dig in!

Which brings me to my latest and greatest find: Eat Like a Dinosaur, by: The Paleo Parents.  This book is written with kids in mind but it is a great start to understanding how to live and cook gluten-free without the use of processed foods.  Adults can take advantage of the easy recipes and advice for eating healthier and smarter for a longer life.  Families, it is a great idea to educate and get your kids involved in their nutrition choices.  They will understand the effects foods have on their body and how they make them feel.  The reward is habits that will keep them healthy long after you have control of their choices.

Where do order:

http://amzn.to/V2WvTx

http://bit.ly/YqRZoE

 

*special thanks to Mike Vilece for sharing the information about Eat Like A Dinosaur

Community Farmers Market November 18th!

Dane’s Body Shop is hosting it’s first-annual Community Famers Market this Sunday November 18th! 1pm – 5pm 

Come by and checkout all the vendors and community products for sale. Hyde Park is the place to be November 18th for community fun. @ Dane’s Body Shop 4227 Guadalupe St. Austin, Texas

Featuring vendors such as:

Thunderbird Energetica, Alternative Kneads, Austin Fit Magazine, Guac n’ Roll, Chris Spears – Massage Therapist, Austin Body Workers, Whopping Crane Sake, J. Hilburn Clothing, Stella and Dot jewelry, Happy Vegan Baker, Tecolote Farms, Nutra Sea, Fit Expeditions, Slow Money Austin, Sesa Tea and much more.

 

DBS November Fusion Athletes of the Month

We are proud to name Michelle Marak and Rimas Remeza as our Fusion Athletes of the Month for November. We would like to highlight these two athletes because of their dedication to DBS as they pursue their health and fitness goals. Michelle and Rimas have been consistent participants in the fusion classes, attending at least three fusion classes a week. They have both shown a desire to improve their nutrition, which the building block to any fitness program, by participating in our nutrition challenge and logging their workouts and food intake daily. Michelle and Rimas bring a since of community and support to each class they attend.  We are so proud to have you both as a part of our DBS community, keep up the hard work!

Let’s get to know more about our Fusion Athletes of the Month:

 

Michelle Marak:

1) How long have you been working out at DBS and how did you hear about the Shop?
I have been at DBS since December of last year (2011).  I had been working out solo at another gym, tired and burned out.  Started searching locally owned gyms in the austin area.  That’s when I ran across DBS in Fit Magazine.  Thought I would give it a shot.  Now I’m in love.

2)  Tell us a little bit about your fitness background
I have been working out via the typical gym membership since 1994.  I worked with a personnel trainer for 8 months.  Then I worked out on my own for 8 months, BORING.  I needed a challenge, motivation, and new moves 🙂

3)  What impact has DBS had on your life since joining?
The biggest impact DBS has had on my life, is my overall health.   I was diagnosed with high blood pressure several years ago.  I take no medication for high blood pressure, just supplements from my homeopathic doctor.  My Doctor said, my blood pressure is text book perfect!  Whatever you are doing, it’s working. My overall physical health is great and my stamina has elevated since joining DBS.
The second part is the amazing group of people I have encountered at DBS in the last 9 months.  Simply amazing.

4)  You drive an hour into town to workout at DBS, that is commitment.  What do you feel DBS has to offer that justifies you making this effort and commute?
I take my health and working out very seriously. I justify the effort for my commute to the personal commitment from DBS staff to their clients and over all atmosphere.  This is not your typical gym.  All the trainers are very encouraging, knowledgeable and caring,  and have the upmost care for their clients.  The workouts are a challenge and that’s what keeps me coming back for more. (No matter how much I complain LOL)

5)  What are your goals for the future as far as fitness?  Short term and long term
My main goal is my health.  My long term goal is keep getting stronger, leaner, add more muscle tone to my arms and mid section.
My short term goal, pull ups without assistance!

6)  What is your favorite and least favorite movement?
My  least favorite movement: anything to do with burpees!
My most favorite, anything to do with a hang clean.

7)  What do you feel has been your biggest accomplishment since joining DBS?
It took me 10 months to finally accomplish, “Toes to Bar” and I’m pretty happy about it.

8) What are is your vision for DBS in the future?
To continue to challenge me each day, therefore improving my overall health.  I would love to also see more yoga classes offered at the 5:30 time slot.

Rimas Remeza

1) How long have you been working out at DBS and how did you hear about the Shop?
I started working out at Dane’s back in June of this year.  I live in the neighborhood and work from home, so the proximity was ideal.  Initially, I wasn’t too keen on the idea of group classes, but I needed something to reenergize my workouts and the folks on Yelp couldn’t praise you all enough, so I took the plunge and haven’t regretted it for a minute.

2)  Tell us a little bit about your fitness background
Since way back in my 20’s, I’ve pretty much always been a member at some gym or other.  When I moved to Austin a few years ago I signed up for a multiyear membership at 24 Hour Fitness.  After an initial period of sampling the available equipment, I just seemed to gravitate toward pretty much the same old weight lifting routine: bench press, shoulder press, pull-ups, sit-ups and leg press.  For a long time, that combined with tennis a few times a week was just enough to keep me feeling healthy.  Unfortunately,  I got older.  My 40’s introduced a nice combination of a reduction in both my metabolism and self-motivation for exercise. Luckily, I found DBS.

3)  What impact has DBS had on your life since joining?
Wow, it’s pretty incredible what a difference a few months can make.  First off, it took me about a month to adjust my diet to support this new workout routine.  Overall, I wound up going gluten-soy-lactose-alcohol-free.  And I don’t know how many times I crawled home from the Shop before I realized I needed to re-introduce some more carbs in to my low-carb diet.

Once I got the nutrition worked out, I was able to start working out more frequently and with more intensity.   I initially dropped about ten pounds but over the past couple of months I’ve put five or so back on.  No worries though — my body fat used to hover around 15% and now it hangs out in the 8-11% range.  So, it’s the good kind of weight gain.

All in all, I just feel really healthy again.  My joints and ligaments may never quite feel 25 again, but the rest of me feels pretty close.  It makes a difference in so many aspects in my daily life.  I’m more motivated to do things that I’d always deferred (ex. I finally took lessons to learn how to swim efficiently instead of in a constant state of almost drowning) and I just feel ready to tackle anything life throws at me (knock on wood).

4)  You are a DBS TriFusionAlthete, you regularly attend the fusion classes, yoga and strength classes. Tell us a little about your routine and how you work in all three classes during the week?

The fusion classes are excellent for cardiovascular fitness, toning muscle and building stamina.  The olympic and power lifting in the strength classes are super for developing muscle.  And the yoga classes are great for stretching and lengthening muscles. So, they each seem to play an important role in all around development.

The focus of each of the three classes is different enough that it’s quite possible to enjoy all of them at least a couple of times a week.  Ideally, I’ll take four fusion, three strength, and two yoga classes in a week.  I alternate days, taking fusion on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and both strength and yoga on Tuesday and Thursday.  Then Saturday is just nuts, with fusion followed by strength, 3 breakfast tacos and a nap.

I should probably also note that while the classes do complement each other, there’s definitely some overlap there as well.  You need to use some judgement as to when it’s more beneficial to lower the intensity or drop a few pounds off of the bar or even to skip a class (rest is really important too).   And because I’m typically a little bit tired going into each session, I tend to take each exercise a bit slower.  I pretty much always finish last in the later rounds of fusion, but it’s not so bad at all, everyone is always so positive and encouraging as I drag my butt through that last rep.

5)  What are your goals for the future as far as fitness?  Short term and long term goals
My long term goal is really just to be healthy — to keep myself in decent shape for as long as it’s my prerogative to do so.
My short term goal is to do a freestanding handstand.

6)  What is your favorite and least favorite movement?
Hmm, favorite… I suppose the deadlift, just because it doesn’t seem possible to lift that much weight, but then there you go!

Least…  Well, it used to be overhead squat or snatch, or anything where you have squat with a lot of weight over your head.  But, Matt’s gone out of his way to really help my technique and shoulder flexibility and now those are not quite as impossible anymore.   Of course, then he also  recently introduced me to my new least favorite movement:  the L-sit (damn hamstrings).

7)  What do you feel has been your biggest accomplishment since joining DBS?
While I feel great that I’ve seen gains in strength, endurance and flexibility, I think the biggest change for me has really been one of attitude.  In the past I’ve pretty much written off certain type of workouts: I’m not flexible enough to practice yoga, not strong enough for olympic lifts, or not kinetically aware enough for group classes.  But DBS changed that attitude.  The coaches provide so much motivation and instruction and that seems to manifest into classes full of people with positive energy and healthy outlooks.  Now everyday I look forward to what new movements the next class has in store for us.

8) What are is your vision for DBS in the future?
Obviously, I already enjoy classes, so if you all keep at ’em then I’ll be there.  I also had a great time in the Beast Program and I’m looking forward to seeing that on the calendar again.
Oh, and keep the special sessions coming too! The foam roller class was a lifesaver!

As Fusion Athletes of the Month, Rimas and Michelle will be creating their own workout for us all to complete. We look forward to seeing what you have in store for us!

 

How I Survived the Zombie Obstacle Course by: Matt Salmi

Thank you to everyone who came and made this years 2nd Annual Zombie Obstacle Course a huge success. Each of you, from the volunteer zombies to the participants, added copious amounts energy, fun and athleticism to make the ZOC a huge success.

You have SURVIVED.………for now

 

 

 

How I Survived the Zombie Obstacle Course . . This Year

By Matt Salmi- Editorial Intern for Austin Fit Magazine

The spirit of Halloween seems to summon the city’s otherwise reclusive zombies out of hiding. These unholy creatures, having grown in number and wretchedness, returned for the second annual Zombie Obstacle Course on Saturday, October 27, to blight the Barton Creek Greenbelt and much of Zilker Park. Presented by Dane’s Body Shop, the race was a festive salute and celebration of fitness, theatrics, and community in an appropriately, obtusely Austin way.
Crudely estimating, about thirty teams of 2 were to race from a hill slightly north of Barton Springs (rechristened “Bloody Springs”) and finish at the moon tower in Zilker Park. Given a colored map with instructions for survival, the brave or foolish competitors had to locate three areas, and then perform a physical challenge at those coordinates in order to earn an item that would help society repair the damage done by the undead scourge.
Before the mayhem at 5 p.m., I watched about 25 of the soon to be undead (or non-living as one participant preferred) transforming each other into the wretched zombie army. The makeup and costumes impressive, hanging chunks of viscera, fake blood, and other horrors too grotesque to mention adorned formerly kind faces.
I was enjoying the pre-race atmosphere until I spied two formerly good-looking zombie girls rolling in dirt, caking their hair with twigs and leaves, like twin Medusas. The monstrosities were seriously committed to their cannibalistic responsibilities. With the cost of being tagged by a zombie an irritating 20 burpees, I decided to mentally prepare as though I were running an entirely formal race. Plus, my partner being the “Fittest Man in Austin,” I knew that if we didn’t win this strange thing it would be entirely my fault.
The 60-or-so runners marched to the edge of “Bloody Springs” with our sealed envelopes containing the precious map and instructions. Waiting for the racemaster to commence the madness, a curious delay ensued. When the racemaster finally appeared, crawling down the hill bloody and injured, a trail of his organs probably running from where the zombies left him to the starting line, the cause of the delay became obvious, and I took this to mean, “Run for your lives!” or “Go!” Either way, Austin’s Fittest and I were off, dashing down the trail in a furious blaze.
At station one, the first task was to locate Cletus, a farmer residing near Auditorium Shores. Approaching the farm, we were the unfortunate witnesses to the worst injury of the race as a poor zombie, wildly chasing a runner, brutally fell on the rocky trail. We rushed over, and still in a daze favoring her right arm, she could not be convinced to move from the hard ground to something more comfortable. Later, I heard she was taken to the hospital.
Now of course, Ole’ Cletus wasn’t just going to hand over this item, a heavy bag of food. We had to plow his field, which involved dragging one’s partner by the underarms across an expanse long enough to make my thighs burn. Why Cletus thought it was necessary to cultivate his fields with flesh-eating zombies running amok was beyond comprehension, but we had no time for questions. After receiving the heaviest bag of food available, we soldiered on, now burdened by a 25-pound albatross.
In search of Professor Sven at station two, we crossed the pedestrian bridge near Luke’s Locker, where an undead twain tagged us. Although the leaders were in sight, we lost some ground because of the 20 burpees. We crossed a field of zombies stumbling, moaning, and terrifying the poor civilians, who probably thought R.P. McMurphy had taken his friends to the park. Professor Sven’s medical experiment consisted of rifling wiffleballs at slow moving zombies at the cost of 10 thrusters per ball. Our aim was true; Professor Sven handed us item two, an orange-colored zombie antidote.
At this point, the rotting zombie arms of fatigue held us tightly, and mistakenly we took an indirect route, which may have cost us first place, to Sergeant Johnson and Lieutenant Smith, who were waiting in Zilker Park near the baseball fields with item three, “building materials.” The building materials consisted of four splintered 2-by-4s and four sharp bricks, another cumbersome albatross. Equally awkward and leaden, carrying the materials diminished our previously breakneck pace considerably as we marched up the hill from the park towards the safe zone underneath the old moon tower.
More wretched zombies, still thoroughly enjoying themselves, were waiting at the finish to bestow sets of burpees upon the exhausted runners. But finally, after 45 minutes Austin’s Fittest and I pulled in for a fifth-place finish.
Pictures were taken; awards were given; smiles were shared. And two days later, my trapezius is still sore from carrying that damn bag of food. The second annual Zombie Obstacle Course brought a diverse group of Austinites together to revel in the myriad of things that make our city so enchanting and fun. The dreadful zombies vowed to return next Halloween, although how the cannibalistic nature of this event affects the number of returning racers, I cannot say.