I met Anna Grimes (née Reynal) at Hank’s in Windsor Park for a happy hour libation and a truly sparkling Shop Athlete Spotlight interview.  The frozen Paloma was refreshing, but the real tonic was Anna’s frank and thoughtful assessment of and appreciation for creativity. Our conversation ranged from her role as a photographer of our community to the unbridled sexiness of her dog Oso! 

Coach Chad: Let’s get this going!  So the way that I wanted to frame this conversation is: you’re now our community photographer!  Have you been enjoying it?  Has it changed your perspective on the community?

Anna Grimes:  Yes, it is really fun and I think it made me feel like even more a part of the community.  I’ve got to meet a lot of people I wouldn’t otherwise meet, because I have a very specific cluster of classes that I attend, so I get to meet people from other time zones-

Time zones?  Like Shop Standard Time, Shop Mountain Time?

*Laughing* No, like morning zone, afternoon zone.  You know!  I’ve got to meet a lot of the different coaches too.  It has just been really fun.  I enjoy it!

Have you learned anything about the difference in tone for the various classes?

I mean, I learned that even before I started photographing classes.  Every coach has a different flavor.

Which coaches do you typically have in your specific cluster of classes you attend?

Mostly Keith, some Dane, and a little bit of Bean.

Can you talk about the difference in the flavors of different coaches?

*laughing* I need you to note that I’m shaking my head right now!  Well, Dane and Keith know that I like to instigate between the two of them.

Oh!  And how do you instigate?

I just like to repeat the things that they say about each other the next time I see them.

Can you give an example of something Keith has said about Dane or Dane has said about Keith?

Wow!  I love that we’re just jumping in with this!

I told you that this conversation could go in any direction.

*laughing* I don’t know where it started, but the most recent thing was I told Keith that Dane thinks that he is smart and good at his job.

Oh!  So it was something nice you shared?

Yeah, because I thought I had gone a little too far in pitting them against each other.  And they are both so great.  You coach Strength, so you know Keith has a very specific way of doing things and sometimes when Dane subs for Keith he doesn’t completely agree with how Keith wants things done.  So I think it started when Dane gave me a note on my power clean and I told him it was different from what Keith said.

Well that is fine, because there is more than one way to skin a barbell!

Always!

Circling back to photography, when I prepared for my interview with (SAS nom from last year) Natalie Cincotta, I looked up her instagram page and she just had really dynamic and thoughtful photos.  So I asked her what draws her eye; what draws your eye Anna?

For personal photography, the thing that catches my eye most is going to be color.  I love to photograph movement, so doing photography at a gym is awesome for that.  Double exposures- I like to take things that seem like they might not belong together and smoosh them together.

That is super cool!  You’ve worked as a wedding photographer and a real estate photographer, is that correct?

Yes, I did weddings for 8 years and then we moved to Austin and I was burned out so I quit weddings and then the pandemic hit-

Oh yeah, that thing-

Yeah, yeah, that little thing.  It was kind of a forced detour.  My plan had been to work on building up a print shop; to take my personal work and put it in a place where people could purchase them to add colorful art to their house.  But the pandemic sidelined that because travel is an important part of my personal work.  So I picked up working at a company that did real estate photos and that was very boring.

So, aside from photography at The Shop, what is your outlet now?

I really miss working with other people, so I’m working on doing photography for other business owners, particularly individuals who are creatives.  I don’t know if Dane would call himself a creative, but I see a really creative spirit in the way that The Shop does things.  Particularly the mini-meets- you can’t tell me that Brains & Brawn isn’t a creative outlet.

He would probably humbly demure and say that he isn’t a creative, but he is.

Absolutely!  I use that word to describe anyone who has a creative spirit inside of them.  It doesn’t mean that you are a painter or you are a writer- those are great things- but I think there are plenty of other people who the label of “creative” fits.

That is actually a great transition because I also wanted to ask you about writing- I know you do that also.  Can you talk a little bit about that or talk about your larger artistic vision- what drives you?

That’s a fun question because I’m still ironing that out.  What drives me right now is figuring out how to allow myself and the people that I work with to feel free in whatever I’m working with them in or whatever I’m creating for them.  My writing right now is mostly journaling- writing about what my artistic vision for myself is and how to help others create.

That is really interesting.  Dane recently leant me a book on writing, Bird by Bird, and one of the themes it keeps returning to is the idea of creativity coming from sort of unclogging the pipes.

Yeah!  I think that is true.  Doing weddings, for example, my goal was to help people not feel boxed in by their time lines or that they have to do things a certain way because that is how it has always been done.  I want people to be able to do things the way they want to do them and also to have whatever I create for them to be an expression of who they are.  I think that applies to photographing The Shop too.  There is a desire in creative people to make something that feels like them, but when I’m working with someone I want to be able to create something that feels like an expression of that person or that thing.

So kind of creating a canvas for them to put themselves onto?  That is really cool.  I always like to get a little bit of background information in these conversations, so I was wondering if you could talk a little be about where you come from, but keep it through the lens of your artistry as well.

I grew up in Maryland. So… *laughs nervously* hmm.  I probably shouldn’t let my mom read this.  I grew up in a very religious environment and I thought that was what I wanted for myself because that is what my family wanted for me.  But I think part of why I got so burned out was I was spending so much time doing what other people wanted me to do and not following my own vision for myself- following rules that were set for me in that religious upbringing.  I think that is a huge part of how I grew up and then who I became is maybe a little bit of a reaction against that.

Were you already doing photography or writing when you went through that transition?

I was actually a musical kid- so I was in choir.  My major in college was music- ironically, my other major was leisure and sport management.  I wanted to be a wedding planner, which is how those two majors combined.  I’ve always enjoyed creating, but it wasn’t always photography.  The first thing I did with photography was when I was studying abroad in Italy I took a film photography class there and I think that set me on that path.  

Do you think that something about your art changed when you made the change to honoring your own path?

That is a really hard question to answer because it has been a lifelong progression for me.  I have a really strong autonomous streak and I think that actually shows up in the gym.  If I’m being told to push it in class, my upbringing means that my first reaction is that I need to push it, but that pulls me away from being able to listen to what is going on inside of myself and that is the thing I want to focus on.  So going to Italy was something that no one else wanted me to do- I’d never even traveled abroad.  This was also the time that I started to explore the world outside of my religious upbringing.  I didn’t connect the two at the time, but I think that trip and making that decision for myself made an impact.

Can you point to anything in that trip that influenced you as an artist?

Everything! How do you leave the culture that you grew up in and not be changed by that?  It completely changes the way you view the stories that you grew up with.

That is a great point.  It just gives you the power to challenge your assumptions I guess.  How did you end up in Austin?

That one is a boring story- my husband’s job.  We got here about a year and a half before the pandemic.

That is a good amount of time to get a feel for the city.  Prior to the pandemic, what did you gravitate towards?

I gravitated toward finding other people in creative communities- and not necessarily photography communities.  I wanted to play around with other creatives.  I think that creativity is very interesting *laughs* obviously! About six months before the pandemic a friend and I took a trip to Oaxaca and that was really cool- again getting to see a completely different culture.  They were celebrating Dia de los Muertos and noting the different way that that time of year is celebrated down there as compared to in the United States-

Ah, so you didn’t dress up like sexy bunnies?

*laughing* No we did not dress up like sexy bunnies!

Moving things towards talking about fitness, have you noticed anything about the interplay between fitness and creation?  For me, I do one longish run per week and I am always at my most creative after that.

That is what yoga was for me for the longest time.  The first time I photographed anything fitness related was at a yoga studio in Annapolis- that was before I even got my yoga teacher training.  There was something about photographing other people connecting to their bodies and then I did a trade with them so I took photos for them in exchange for classes.  So I took a lot of classes and I think that was my entry point into understanding that my body had a lot of things to tell me.  Yoga is more of a quiet form of fitness and I think there is a lot of benefit to that silence- to be able to hear what your body is trying to tell you.  I don’t think there is anything better or worse about yoga compared to cardio or strength training, but I do think that silence aspect was my way in to understanding that my body had a lot to say.

I like that observation!  Now that you mention it, I think it is a similar thing for me with running unclogging the pipes.

I think there is a lot of conventional thinking about meditation being silent and still.  Meditation doesn’t have to be completely still- I think you can be moving and also observing your thoughts with detachment which is the key to meditation.

That makes a lot of sense too.  As an actor, one of the tools for finding an authentic emotional space is using an activity to guide you into that state- not just telling yourself “I’m going to be sad now!”.  That is really interesting.  Please keep peppering in these sage observations.  I wanted to pivot to socializing.  One of the through lines with our Spotlight Athletes- and there are many reasons we nominated you-

Oh sure! *laughing* It’s because I’m the strongest person in the entire gym right?  *big laughter*

Oh yes!  You’re the strongest person and you’re also the hottest person-

Oh yes, lets keep going with the sarcastic reasons I got nominated!

People are saying that you are the smartest person at the gym, no one has ever been smarter than you, you and you alone are the most stable genius.  No, one of the through lines with the nominees is that they are often participants in or even in the center of the little sub-communities at The Shop-

Cliques?  Can we just call them cliques?

I feel like that word has such a pejorative connotation, but yeah cliques!  You’re in the doggie socializing clique.  Can you talk about how that happened?

Come on, who has a dog that hasn’t made a friend just because they have a dog.  Isn’t that the real reason to get a dog in the first place?

No, you got a dog because Oso is the sexiest dog in the world.  He is objectively perfect on an aesthetic level and I won’t hear otherwise!

*laughing* The actual reason was to be a guard dog.  My sister had sent me a picture of him and literally that night someone tried breaking into our house.  But he’s the worst guard dog ever!  We had a stranger in our back yard months later and Oso slept through the whole thing- he didn’t wake up until the cops showed up.

Well we know how he feels about the police then!  So you occasionally get together with other members who have dogs- who are some of your peeps?

Well, Oso picked Linus as his best friend, so Marc (long time member and resident stud muffin Sturdivant) and obviously you and your lovely wife and Bean.  Then there is this whole dog party so Janelle and Sara Abrams and Heather and I know I’m going to forget someone and I feel awful about that.

Who’s got the best dog other than Oso?

*Only half a beat of hesitation* Rimas.

Yeah.  Yeah, Islay is just awesome.  Who’s got the sexiest dog other than Oso?  As we’ve established, Oso is the sexiest dog- you’ve sent me so many sexy photos of him.

I think Whiskey is a pretty handsome dog (shouts to the good little boy who comes to class with Sierra!)

Yes Whiskey is a very good boy.  So you got a pool installed in your back yard over the pandemic.  Any pool plans with warm weather around the corner?

Um, open invitation to anyone who wants to use their big muscles to help me build my patio and then we can have a pool party afterward!

Alright- open invitation and I might take you up on that.  Just briefly, I wanted to ask how you ended up at Dane’s Body Shop?  How’d we get so lucky?

Google plus location!

Fair enough- what is your favorite style of workout?

Anything strength oriented which is not something I ever would have anticipated saying.

So that is a bit of an evolution for you as well?

Yes!  I definitely didn’t do a lot of weightlifting workouts before coming to The Shop.

Do you have a favorite lift?

The deadlift is definitely my thing.  It is the one that I don’t have to work as hard at to be good at- isn’t that everyone’s favorite though, the one they don’t have to work as hard at!

That’s true!  Okay, well I’m going to transition to some random questions.  The first one that I’m going to ask is: someone is making a movie of your life, who plays you? who directs the film? and what genre is the film.  You can answer any or all of those.

I’m going to come up with a way better answer for this when I leave!  I think it would be some sort of romantic comedy, but instead of me finding my perfect person it would be about finding my perfect way of creating.  Something like that.  Kind of a genre breaker in a way.  When I was a kid, someone told me I resembled Natalie Portman and who wouldn’t want Natalie Portman to play them.

I sure as hell would love her to play me!  Similar question, if you were a professional wrestler or in any situation where you needed entrance music, what would the entrance music be?

Something by Lizzo- probably “Juice”.  That is what Bean played for me during the Strong Person Mini Meet.  It’s my hype up music.

That’s great!  Which coach has the best music and which coach has the worst music?

Obviously Keith has the best music *Knowing look and a laugh*.  I don’t know who has the worst music, I’ve never been to a class where I can’t stand the music.  Since I was a music major, I can handle quite a variety of music listening experiences.

What is your favorite swear word?

Obviously fuck.  That is the one I was yelled at for saying as a kid.  Not even yelled at- mom was just like “I’m so disappointed in you”.  So now it is all I want to say!

And I all I want to DO!  Bahahaha!  I asked Grant (check out his interview as well) and his answer was “I try not to swear at all”.  I was like “come on man, that’s no fun!”.  If you were to fall into a toxic radioactive slurry, would you come out as a super hero or a super villain?

Hero.

Do you know what your power would be?

I’m pretty sure it would be something with fire or light- I don’t know what it would be exactly, but those are things I resonate with. I read a decent amount of fantasy, so I’ve actually thought about this question a lot.

Oh really?  What is your favorite fantasy story?

I’m currently reading the newest book by Sarah J. Maas.  She writes a lot of- well, they are sometimes called “sexy fairy stories”.

Ooohoo!  A little erotica?

There is a little in there.  They’re fun *giggling*.

I respect that, the woman I dated before Becca was quite the impressive amateur erotica writer.  It was fun.  

Did you help her research?

Naturally!  I’m a very collaborative person!  Okay, so you’re having a dinner party and you can pick 1-3 people currently living or throughout history to join you.  Who do you pick?

I actually had to write an essay about this to get into the honors program in college.  I’ve gone back and read that essay and it is unreadable!  The people I picked were so different than people I would pick now.  The person I’d want to have coffee with would be Taylor Swift.

That is a great answer.  Do you have a burning question you’d want to ask her?

I just want to know how she writes with such depth in her lyrics.  Lyrics are essentially poetry and anybody who writes poetry, I’m always amazed with the way they can convey so much emotion in so few words.  I can’t do that!  I’m such a wordy person.

I absolutely agree.  That economy of language is so impressive.  That is probably a good place to wrap things up.  So this is where I ask if you have any extra words of wisdom to impart.  I feel like you’ve been very wise throughout.  Think about newer members, maybe even members who haven’t joined yet.  They’re scrolling through the SAS! page on the website and they go “who is this Natalie Portman looking broad” and they click on your photo.

*laughing* My advice to myself is probably what I’d give to anyone else and that is “just show up”.  No matter how afraid you are or whatever your expectations are, just show up because that is all you can do.

It is remarkable how almost every Spotlight Athlete says that.  They are cliches for a reason.  I think that is because everyone has had that experience of something being hard and not being sure if they want to come back and then coming back a few times and realizing that it is hard and that is why you come back.

Yeah and I would say showing up is the way I’ve been able to connect with people- whether it is showing up to photograph a class or to participate in one, being there is the only way that I’m accomplishing my fitness goals yes, but also social goals on a daily basis.

Absolutely.  And I want to piggyback off of that; I kept my shit together relatively well during the pandemic and I think that was in large part because I had to be around other people because it was my job.  I had to coach, I had to see people every day.  Safe- masked when necessary and often outdoors, but I still had to be around people.  You took classes pretty much throughout right?

Yeah and that was a really hard decision at the beginning.  It felt like everyone on the internet mostly was saying that no one should go anywhere.  I feel like Dane’s handled the pandemic really really well.  I know it sucked for you guys to close down for those eight weeks or whatever, but you reopened when you were able and stayed open safely.  When the pandemic started, I felt like all of the relationships I had made in Austin started filtering away.  I understand why because everyone was trying to take care of themselves.  I don’t know that we would have stayed in Austin had I not had somewhere like Dane’s.

Well Anna- it is Anna right?

*laughs* Yes!  Two A’s and two N’s!

Fabulous talking to you.  Anna Grimes everybody!

Grant and I settled on a scenic hill overlooking the Moody Amphitheater in Waterloo Park downtown and enjoyed a couple hazy IPA’s and a warm conversation on a beautiful Sunday in February.  It wasn’t until the interview was almost over that I learned Grant’s incredible connection to that park!

Coach Chad: So you were doing our community workouts for a long time before becoming a member right?

Grant Dziuda:  Yeah, it was probably about a year.  A friend of mine, Renee, asked me to come with her and I really liked it, so I was a regular every Sunday community workout person.  

Yeah, I got to know you quite a bit before you ever even became a member.  Dane wanted to know if the only reason we got to have you as a regular member was because we stopped the community workouts when the pandemic hit.

No, no, I had joined before.  I joined January 1st right before the pandemic and signed up for 6 months at that point.

Was there something that convinced you to sign up for the regular membership?

I really liked (workout out at The Shop), but I had never paid that much for a membership.  I worked out at The Y for a long time and that is dirt cheap.  But I figured if I was coming 5-6 days a week, the price was worth it.

And you really do come 5-6 days a week?

Yeah!

And you work out at 5:30 or 6am right? I consider that to be a very clear manifestation of discipline- how do you maintain that discipline?  Any tricks to maintaining that regimen?

Not really- I’ve recently just realized that I’m naturally a very regimented and disciplined person.  It can actually be a little bit of a friction point with (his girlfriend) Kiani.  So I’ll sign up for all of my classes like a month out and cancel if I need to- it is just so rare that I cancel.

For those early morning classes, I’ll look at the roster the night before and try to figure out who is likely to sleep in and miss class and you’re one of those people that I never doubt is going to be there.  Now I don’t know a lot about your history, can you tell us just a bit about where you came from and where you grew up?

My parents both grew up in Detroit- both grandfathers worked in the auto industry, one for Ford and one for GM.  They had three kids in Detroit then they moved to St. Louis which is where I was born.

You’re like the midwestern version of a Kennedy!

Yeah I still follow all the St. Louis teams-

Did you follow the Rams to L.A.?  Were you jazzed about the Super Bowl?

Yeah, yeah, I understood why the would move.  Then we moved to the suburbs of Chicago.  I grew up the youngest of four kids- we’re all pretty close in age and we are still pretty close to one another.

I’m fascinated by birth order and how that effects how people turn out.  Do you feel like being the youngest affected you at all?  I feel like there were times when my little sister felt like she was chasing me, trying to live up to what I did.

Maybe when I was really young, but I know who I am and am happy with that- so I don’t feel the need to keep up with anyone else.  But going back to my parents, my dad hopped around to different sales time jobs and my mom worked as an aide in the local middle school- the same one I want to.  Yeah, she was at the same elementary school and then moved to the middle school when I did.  I had to cut her off from following me past that, “I know I’m your baby, but we’ve got to cut it off at some point!”.

Were they super disciplined?  Is that maybe where you got that trait from?

Not really.  I don’t know where that came from.  Maybe one place is that I played soccer my whole life and senior year I recognized that that part of my life was going to be over but I wanted to stay in shape, so I picked up track & field.  The coach we had for distance running was extremely disciplined; for that year he had a goal of running every single day- so like his “off” days would only be 3-4 miles.  If it would snow a foot during the day, he’d be out there shoveling the track so we could run.  So I think that might have had an impact on me.

How did that carry over to your time at (University of Wisconsin) Madison?

I just kept that same discipline.  I got recruited as a walk on for the rowing team, so that meant intense workouts every day.  Rowing on a rowing machine is very mentally draining.  

So soccer, track, rowing, and obviously what you do at The Shop- was there ever a period in which you weren’t athletically engaged?

Hmm… not really.  I should say that I studied abroad in Europe my Sophomore year in college-

And what were you studying again?

Civil Engineering.  I studied in Hungary and I looked into getting a membership, but I think it was just too expensive.  So for those 6 months I just didn’t really work out.  And it was drinking like five nights a week.  But you’re walking everywhere, so you’d think I’d come back with a beer belly but I actually came back weight less.  I probably had way less muscle though.  So yeah, without really even trying I was walking like 5-6 mile a day.

So beyond that illustration of the power of passive exercise, what else sticks with you about your time in Europe?  That is something I deeply regret- not doing a semester abroad.

The pace of life over there is so much slower.  Everything in the United States is just go, go, go. Over there the lifestyle is so much more relaxed.

Now earlier, you mentioned that Kiani is a little bit more laid back than you, do you think that is one of the things that attracted you to her- like reminding you of that slower pace to life?

It is less that she is laid back and more that she is a free spirit- more spontaneous than me.  I can be spontaneous and she draws that out of me.  Sometimes she’ll push me to do things that I don’t want to do initially and afterwards I have no clue why I didn’t want to do it.

Where did you two meet?

Oh we just met at a bar on the east side-

Wait?  People meeting in real life?  Not on an app?  This sounds insane.

*laughing*. Yeah we met in 2019.

One way of looking at the pandemic through the lens of relationships is that it separated the wheat from the chafe; that the couples who needed to break up, that is what finally pushed them to it and the couples that were strong got stronger.  You’re obviously in the second category right?

Yeah!  There were only brief stints of time where we were truly trapped at home together.  She is an ICU nurse, so there was no lapse where she had to stay home.  With my job, there was only a few weeks when I was home and that was before we moved in together.  So I guess to answer your question, it was different for us- we weren’t one of those couples who were locked in together for a long time.

Another question Dane had was when are we going to get Kiani at The Shop?

I don’t know- we’ve talked about it, but I think she just really likes the more cardio-based workouts.  I’ve done them with her also, but I just don’t like it as much as I like working out at The Shop.

Ooo!  This is a great opportunity for shameless self promotion.  What do you like most about working out at The Shop?

It may sound kind of strange, but I really like the yoga/stretching at the end of class because I never really stretched.  When I started learning new stretches, I’d feel better after the workout and I really liked that.  But also, I really like strength-based workouts- it gives me a goal and something to push myself toward.  I’m not trying to go to weightlifting competitions, it is just nice to have incremental progress.

That plays nicely into my next question.  Now that we’re moving from pandemic to endemic or whatever the case may be, one of the things that I’m loving seeing again is seeing people lifting together more.  Beyond using equipment in a more rational way, the socialization that happens when people lift together and the way they can give one another feedback and learn how to give feedback is really useful.  I’ve noticed you and Johnny Sullivan workout together quite a bit- can you talk about that experience a bit?  Maybe what you talk about between sets?  

We lift similar weights on a lot of lifts, so it is just easier to move between sets.  I always like to have someone spot me when we bench-

Yeah, it is always nice to not get crushed to death under a weight that is hovering over your chest.  So even beyond just Johnny, have you observed any benefits of working around him but also the group more broadly as opposed to a conventional gym?

Oh yeah!  That is one of the things I like most about Dane’s.  I think I just need to get out of the house to workout, so having a place where the workout is what I’m focused on.  Being told what to do for the workout is also really useful- just not having to think about what I’m going to do.

Oh absolutely!  I think I’ve mentioned it, but I religiously follow the Strength program because I want to have someone else’s programming to keep me honest.  I brought up Johnny, do you have any other folks you want to shout out?

I like my stock trading conversations with (coach) John and Doak (Embrey)-

John actually asked as one of his questions for you if you had any strategies for your stock portfolio that you’d like to offer?

*laughing* Oh, I don’t think I should be divulging that!  When I strike it rich, I’ll share the strategy.

Well that is fun!  Lets transition to some random questions.  I’m a big NFL guy, but I don’t follow college at all, so I have no idea what John was getting at, but he wanted me to ask, now that the SEC has basically become NFL lite,  do you worry about the future of The Big 10 and Wisconsin in particular?

Nope.  The Big 10 has been very competitive the past couple years.  I’m not worried- we have our brand.

If you were a professional wrestler or some other such person, what would your entrance music be?

Hmm… Is it the White Stripes- that seven nation something?  When that one comes on I always feel pumped up.

Seven Nation Army?  Yeah, that is a great choice.  What is the most ridiculous pronunciation of your last name- Dziuda?

I get a lot of “diz-wee-duh”.  I’ve gotten “dizzy-ooda”.  Lots of mispronunciations.  When I break down the correct phonetics for someone I say it as “da-zoo-da”.

You and Kiani just took a trip to Hawaii right?  What was the highlight of that?

We did the Pali Ghost hike- about ten miles with a mile of elevation gain.  At the end, it is just open beach with waterfalls and you’re just sitting in your tent staring out at the ocean.  It was a really intense hike so we just spent the next day on the beach doing just nothing. No cell service at all.  

That sounds incredible- that last part in particular.

Yeah, a couple did need to get airlifted out.  We were like the last people to make it in that day and this couple was showering in the waterfall and a billy goat kicked a rock from like 300 feet up and it hit this girl square in the leg.  So they had this emergency service plug in for the phone.

Well, goats are my spirit animal, so I feel really bad that happened.  Do you have a spirit animal?

I was asked this question at work a couple years ago and I said a hawk.

I think Coach Mark is also a hawk.  What about the hawk do you identify with?

Seeing the big picture and then when it wants something it swoops down and gets it.

What is your favorite swear word?

I don’t know.  I try not to swear- I do sometimes, but I try not to.

You fucking prude.  Goddamnit.  Shit… Alright.  You’re going to have dinner with any celebrity or figure from history, who do you pick?

That’s tough, I’m going to give you a couple.  The first one that comes to mind is Warren Buffet- he’s lived an interesting life and has a lot of knowledge I could learn from.  Whoever I sit down with, I’d want to learn from.  Steve Jobs is another one-

Okay, so you just want to spend time with a lot of really poor people?  Are you a cat or dog person?

Dogs!  Kiani had a dog that passed away right before we moved in and we will probably try to get one this summer. 

That’s fun!  What is the coolest place you’ve traveled to?

I traveled to Thailand for a volunteer trip right after I graduated- it was a village two hours north of Bangkok.  I thought I was just going to be doing construction, but it was a variety of things: touring temples, teaching english, going to an orphanage, a variety of volunteer projects.  Almost no one spoke english- there was a day we went to the police station and they brought their entire staff in and they wanted us to teach them english.  I don’t think they see english speaking people that often.  I also did a two week road trip in South Africa.  We flew into Cape Town, rented a car and did the entire south coast.  We drove through these incredibly rural villages- there was one night we stayed at a hostel in one of them and some guy there invited us to a party.  It was in this shanty town with metal huts people were living in and we were the only white people in this neighborhood party.  They had a laptop they were playing music off of and there was a shipping container people were selling beer out of.  They took us into the like “VIP section” that was inside with a pool table and drinks.  It was pretty wild.

South African VIP!  That is a special time in a young man’s life.  Well, the way that I like to wrap up these interviews is- because you’ve been elevated to this pantheon of athletes of the season- to ask if you have any words of advice for the community or maybe the next Grant Dziuda who is thinking of joining but hasn’t yet?

Consistency is key.

I like it.  Any other parting thoughts?

You didn’t ask me why I picked Waterloo Park!

I didn’t!  Why did you?

So I am switching jobs, but I worked for DPR and… well, I built this park and ampitheatre.

No shit?  You built this?

*bashfully* yeah.  I was responsible for basically where that concrete wall starts and everything to the north.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is what is called burying the lead.  We’re sitting in a park that Grant built.  That’s crazy!

M.J. and I connected for a couple St. Patrick’s Day libations at a surprisingly quiet Drinkwell near our Hyde Park location.  The final athlete to be interviewed for the winter season Shop Athlete Spotlight gamely fielded a number of unusually heavy questions and provided some truly insightful thoughts on topics ranging from parenthood to meditative horse riding to giraffes!

Coach Chad:  The first thing I wanted to touch on was you working out with Kenna, your daughter, because I saw Jack Brown as I was leaving- do you know Jack?

M.J. Hawes:  They guy who never wears a shirt?

Or shoes crucially!

That’s right, and he has a beautiful dog that is usually in the back of his truck.

Yes!  He and I actually had our (SAS!) interview in the back of that truck.  Well his father also works out at The Shop and they work out together.  So I reread his interview and we talked about what it was like to workout with your dad and one of the things that he said was that it brings him comfort to be there with his dad and know that he is taking care of himself.  

Ahhh yeah yeah!  That is so neat.

Kenna has been coming to class with you for a few months now; what does that dynamic mean to you and all that?

Oh man- That is such a good and multifaceted question.  I had been encouraging her to come give it a try for a while now because she is really into yoga and she was a swimmer.  I had been annoying and kept trying but one day, unsolicited, she said she wanted to go (to class).  So we decided to figure out which classes she likes and which coaches she connects with.  As you know, it turns out that she really likes the Strength classes and she really enjoys yours and Keith’s classes and I think she did have a lot of fun at a Fusion class with Bean a while back.  So to answer the question about what it means to me: as a parent to a kid that is about to launch and go out on her own, every chance I can get to do stuff with her that we both enjoy is such a treasured moment.  Also being the parent of a young woman, I think it is so powerful to learn your physical strength at such an early age and what you can do and just not be intimidated by those environments.  I certainly was (intimidated by the gym setting), so I did other fitness things instead of lifting heavy things  or even thinking that I could lift heavy things.  So I really appreciate how she has connected with it and how The Shop has been such a welcoming and non-intimidating community for her that she could just slip into the community.  Even though she is a beginner, she is getting this great advice and support from her coaches and the other members in the class.  She’s learning that all gym environments aren’t the same and that (lifting) is approachable, doable, and something you can do at an early age.

That is really interesting.  The neat thing for me is that I only see her once a week,  and so- you can tell what a beginner looks like- so to see her recently squarely not a beginner anymore has been really fun.

She is picking it up- she really has some chops!  I tell her that she is starting at a place that I was working my way towards even when I was double her age doing this whole weightlifting thing.  

I love seeing that in a young person- getting that confidence from weightlifting.  Now watching you two together, you appear just like any other pair of friends working out.  It seems like a very smooth relationship.  Do you guys have any gym related tiffs?  Like “MOM, What are you DOING?”

*laughing* Oh yeah!  You might not see it happening, but the whispers are there behind the scenes.  For example, she is pretty particular when we leave- like the workout can’t spill over the hour.  It is like she is time managing me.

Oh that is funny, I assumed it was the other way around with you two.

It is pretty funny.  Sometimes we just poke fun at each other, but we do have a good relationship in that way.  

It definitely seems like you have a good thing going on.  Do you have any other people that you’ve developed fun relationships with in class?

I just love our 6am crew- all the familiar faces.  We don’t necessarily spend a lot of time talking, but I feel like we have a shared connection just based on our shared commitment to the time and the space.  Seeing Michelle, or Shelly, or Virginia & Janani, Kelly, Doak, and Grant and all the folks that travel in that pack- everyone just gets along nicely and I really enjoy that.

That is something I always highlight when giving a tour- that you should try as many classes at different times as you can, but once you start to settle in you will find a gravity to the people you go to class with.

Yeah, isn’t that weird?  And my schedule has been weird lately, so I went over to a class at Manor in the evening and the class that was heading out was really boisterous and taking their time leaving, and then the class that I was in was totally subdued.  It was a completely different vibe.  It is so funny how it can be a completely different environment or energy.  

You mentioned before I started recording that you and Shelly and Michelle were thinking of forming a Brains & Brawn team.  What sort of advantage do you think that particular group might have?  Where would your strengths be?

We are some of the elder stateswomen of the larger community, so I’m thinking what we might lack from a pure power perspective, we have a serious advantage in longevity and wisdom on our side, so we can overcome.

Frankly, I don’t think the three of you are lacking on the power side either!

Well, yeah Shelly and Michelle are definitely strong, so they can bring it with brains and brawn.  I’m still working on the brawn!

Well, you’re damn sure getting there!  How did you come to Dane’s Body Shop?

I was working out at a gym in Tarrytown that had a similar format, and they did a good job, but they decided to change up their format completely and it wasn’t for me.  They had a very nice community- Alexis (Dacy) was one of them- and she came over (to Dane’s) from the same place.  So I tried it and went through that awkward newbie phase and there were a few moments where I didn’t know if I was going to keep going.  When you come into a new place and you’re trying to figure out where you fit in and what the norms are and aren’t sure if it is going to work out, but Michelle started shortly after that and we ended up being in similar classes and it was nice to have a newbie buddy that I could navigate that awkward phase with.

That is true even as a coach- Dane does this thing when he has someone he is considering hiring where he just gives them a free membership to see if they like what The Shop does, does The Shop like what they do.  Kind of an extended courtship; mine lasted like six months!  There was a day in the beginning when I came home from a hybrid class and my wife, girlfriend at the time, was home on a break from grad school and was like “how was that class at that place you might work honey?” and I just shushed her and shook my head as I walked to the bathroom.  She kind of followed me and I just started taking off my clothes and then, standing over the bath tub, proceeded to wring buckets of sweat out of them.  She was like, “what did they do to you???”.  Even as a coach, I had serious doubts at the beginning.  But after a week or two, I found some members that I really vibed with.  Some dude named Murphy I remember partnered with me several times and made it all feel more comfortable.

You hear about stuff like that all the time talking to members.  When I read your interviews I see how the community helps people to find that comfort.  It actually goes back to what I was saying earlier about Kenna- everybody is very supportive of wherever you are at.  It is like a “no judgement, all encouragement zone” and I really appreciate that.

Is she starting to find her own connections outside of you?  I know I am developing a fun little repartee with her.

Yeah!  She and Shelly talk and the other day I saw Doak very sweetly asking her questions.  I try not to be the helicopter mom and to just let her find her own connections.  I try to do that in general, so it is important to do it at Dane’s also!

That is going to be great practice for her going off to college and dealing with people of different ages.  I want to switch gears slightly- you’re in New Mexico often, why are you in New Mexico often?

I guess I just like it there.  I’m not from Texas, as you recall, but I really like living in Austin and hope to stay in the general vicinity for the duration, but I also like the change of scenery and we have the good fortune of being able to find another place.  Our criteria was that it had to be drivable-

It is Santa Fe right?

Yeah, we wanted to be able to take our dogs.  And it had to be a different climate- so when you draw a one-day-drivable map from Austin, there really aren’t many choices.  It was almost by default that we picked it.

There is an old Texas saying, “the sun has riz, the sun has set, and we ain’t out of Texas yet”.  Have you heard that one?

*big laughter* I hope you put that in the transcript so that I can remember that.

I’ll put it in just for your benefit!

Thank you!  So it is just a place to escape.

Aside from just the climate can you talk a little bit about the difference in like pace and feel from Austin?

There are similarities and there are huge differences.  Austin has such a youthful energy and vibe and Santa Fe is the opposite- it is a place people have historically retired to.  I always notice that out and about.  There was a gym I used to go to up there and we called it “the old man gym” because it was just where the seniors hung out to get their workout in and do their kibitzing.  It is also a little different because of its cultural heritage- the Native American population and the Spanish influence.  I think the things that are similar is that there is a strong fitness culture there-

Really?  I wouldn’t have guessed that.

Yeah, it is more like skiing and mountain biking- hiking.  They are taking advantage of the outdoor activities there.  Less from a gym perspective, but more people being excited to be outside and active.  The food also.

I always just think lots of corn and peppers when I think Santa Fe.

The diversity in cuisine is really changing!  Just like everywhere else in the “great migration”, people are moving out of west coast towns and settling there.  So it is diversifying in terms of its population.  So, for example, it isn’t difficult to find good Chinese food there or even decent Indian food.  And obviously the art scene- they are more visual arts as opposed to the music here in Austin, but I think there are spaces where they really respect and respect the arts.

Now I’ve actually seen you in Santa Fe because you took brilliant advantage of our virtual workouts during the pandemic- is there a difference between Santa Fe M.J. as opposed to Austin M.J.?

That is a good question.  Santa Fe M.J. is probably a little more chill because I’m working less- not on a schedule.  My family might say I’m easier to get along with because I’m not on a crazy work schedule.  Other than that, no-

You don’t arrive and magically channel the spirit of Georgia O’Keefe?

Oh I’ve got a hat I wear up there and some more Sante Fe style clothes.  

You also just got back from New York City and with that in mind it occurred to me that a revelatory question to ask someone is, “what did you do while you were in New York?”.  It is such an incredible city with so much of everything that you can tell a lot about someone by asking what they did with that opportunity.

That’s a great question!  Kenna was with me and we were back in northern New Jersey to celebrate my dad’s 92nd birthday.  That was the primary purpose of the trip- family.  Then Kenna and I went into the city because we hadn’t been in since the pandemic.  I was a little apprehensive because the city has suffered some set backs and crime is more abundant so I wasn’t sure what we were getting ourselves into.  

Like the Son of Sam summer?

Well actually, people are getting pushed onto subway tracks and stuff- not pretty crime!  But, it wasn’t as bad as people were depicting and we were in the subways with no issue. So we did four or five things: one is we went to the Neue Gallery which focuses on German & Austrian art and it is a really nice experience because it is a small gallery and you can really consume the entire exhibit unlike something that is so overwhelming like The Met.  Another highlight was obviously eating- trying to get caught up on some of the good eats there-

What were the food highlights? Because I think that says a lot too.

We still lament the quality of Chinese food in Austin, so we made sure to hit that.  Aside from our friends, Home Slice, down the street, the quality of pizza is still a work in progress in Austin, and we also did a nice Italian dinner as well.  So those were the priorities- and I hate to do this because it sounds a little materialistic, but Kenna and I did a little bit of shopping because she has some big events coming up around graduation.  So endless walking around and popping in places, just giving her a sense for the city.  And the last thing for me was a little bit of nostalgia, because I lived there after I finished school.  We walked by my first apartment and just by coincidence, on the corner of the block where my first apartment is, there is this really famous Ukrainian diner.  Given current world events we were excited to check that out as well.  A little bit of history, a little bit of food, and a little bit of commerce.

So what I’d draw from that is this is a well-rounded person who enjoys living life and has reasonable amounts of caution, but doesn’t let it inhibit them.  Very nice!  Speaking of things you need to be cautious about, I wanted to talk about horsies.  So you have taken up riding horses and you used to ride as well- talk a little bit about your history with these beasts and what you’re doing now.

I’m going to show you a picture of my horse- which I’m technically leasing so that just means I subsidize her lifestyle.  *passes me her phone to show me her magnificent pink and brown horse* That is Pinky- she is a warmblood which is a cross between a German warmblood and usually a thoroughbred of some sort.  I started riding when I was 5 or 6 and I was one of those crazy horse-riding girls.  I ride English- that is with the smaller saddles versus Western riders which is a bit more common in Texas.  It was my sport- I didn’t do traditional sports, that was kind of my rebellion against this sports culture in my hometown.  So I competed where I could and I used to jump horses.  I had to take a hiatus in college, but when I hit 30 I had enough disposable income that I could start doing it again, so I got a horse when my husband and I were living in San Diego.  I got really good at it again, but then I got pregnant with Kenna and it was time to hang up my boots for a while.  One of the reasons we were excited to move to Texas was that it might be easier for me to balance work and horses- living in California, it just wasn’t feasible.  Now that Kenna is ready to launch it felt like the right time to get back into it.

I love that you keep using the verb “launch”.

Yes!  I like that so much better than empty-nesting or the other sad terms.

Yeah, it is like you’re a NASA scientist.

Exactly!  Like I’m just shooting her off like a rocket into her adulthood.  

More epic.  So what does your riding these days consist of?

Getting my ass kicked basically!  Just trying to get my form and muscles back.  Riding is such a unique sport because you have to be in such good communication with your horse.  You have to figure out every horse and how they behave.  I really thought getting back into it would be easy because I’ve been doing all of these workouts at Dane’s and all of that is true but, you’re still using muscle groups that are `100% different.  It really does make a difference to have the core strength built up.  But still, I might be able to survive The Murph or Tire Tyrant, but sometimes just jumping around a course with a horse still takes my breath away.

And there is that element of unpredictability to it right?

Yeah, sometimes I think I’m being a real idiot because it is a really risky sport, but you only live once!

The great thing about barbells is they tend to not have a mind of their own!

Indeed, indeed- you are in control… most of the time.  So I’m just trying to get my form back and get more comfortable jumping the fences I jumped before.

Do you have any words for what horse riding means to you?  As someone who knows nothing about riding horses, I assume there is a major element of freedom to it.

There is some of that for sure.  I think for me the thing is you can’t be a hysterical mess around a horse because they vibe off of you and so you just have to be calm and in tune with another animal.  You can’t be thinking about other things, so for me it is a huge stress reliever and a way to wipe out what might be nagging you on a given day.  

That kind of relates back to something Anna (Grimes) said in my interview with her a couple weeks ago.  She was talking about how movement can be meditation.  She was kind of pushing back against the idea that stillness had to be a part of meditation.

100%, I can totally relate to her comment in that regard.  I feel like the fitness routines I have keep my stress and anxiety at bay.  The movement helps create the distraction to go into that (calm) space.  Being still, it is so much harder to control that monkey mind.

Just real quick, we’ve danced around the idea of you being busy at work and such and I know you work for Apple, so I just wanted to touch briefly on what you do.

I’ve worked with them since 2004, so I’ve seen a lot-

That is before the iphone!

Yeah, itunes was brand new.  Most of my time has been spent in customer experience and support, but now that I’m edging toward the twilight of my career I do people support.  I manage a team of about 150 people around the world who’s job it is to answer employee questions or concerns and making sure those employees get the needed information so they are able to do their job and not be distracted from day to day work.  Managing teams around the world is just a constant thing.

Managing the answer givers?  That feels like levels upon levels.

*laughing* Yeah, I suppose it kind of is.

And with timezones, I can see that spilling all over your day.

Oh yeah, I talk to Europe early in the morning and then I’m talking to Singapore and China in the evenings.  My schedule is definitely not my own, so I have to find windows and create boundaries.  But I love it and it is why I have so many apple t-shirts to workout in!

That is really interesting.  Well, we will move into a few random questions before we wrap up-

These are the questions I’m afraid of!

We talked about your relationship with horses.  If you were to pick an animal to represent you that isn’t a horse, what is the M.J. animal?

I’m going to say a giraffe- I really would have picked horse, but since you took that off the table, I went with giraffe because I think they generally have a fairly calm presence.  I’ve been told I have a calm presence and I think that just might be me being good at masking what is going on inside.  Giraffes hang out in smaller groups and I’m kind of a small group kinda gal.  I’ve been in so many professional development settings with personality tests, so I know I like to see things from the treetops.

I was guessing something to do with perspective would play into that answer.  What is your zodiac sign?

I’m a Leo, so a land sign.

Maybe it makes sense that you picked giraffe, cause I’m sure a lion would like a giraffe as well!  Maybe it is just because you are a calm person, but I don’t think of you as someone who swears a lot.  Do you have a favorite swear word?

*mischievous giggle* You’re right that I don’t swear too much, but historically it might be “goddamn it”.  There is a story that my mom & grandma used to tell where, apparently my mom would drop a “goddamn” frequently, because apparently when I was three the dog made me mad, so I pushed it and said “get out of my way you goddamn dog!”.  I think that one stuck in the lexicon.

I would imagine with your job in traveling that you’ve done karaoke a few times?

Oh god… no I avoid that at the plague.  That would be like my worst nightmare.

That is a helluva answer because I was setting myself up to ask if you had a go to karaoke song!

No!  I don’t even want to get on the stage.  I have to do a lot of public speaking for work and I really have to work on that.

Great answer!  Dinner party question: you have the chance to sit down with 1-3 people currently living or from history to dine and talk- who do you choose?

This is one I should have thought about ahead of time because it is a hard one.  Hmm… One is my dad.  No shade to my mom, but I would pick my dad.  Hmm… who else would I pick?  If I’m combining everyone together, I’m going to add Winston Churchill-

He’s on my list too!

Who would be the third?  Oh geez…  I don’t have a name that comes to mind, but the additional element I’d want to introduce into the party to throw some contrast into the old white male selections would either be a female historical trend-setter or innovator or a current one.  I’m struggling to think of.

I think Catherine The Great would be a solid fit with Winston anyway- I don’t know your dad.

That would be a good one.  Maybe something a little bit more contemporary, but that is the right direction.

I’m always intrigued when someone picks someone who is actually in their life.  Why your dad?

The short answer is, and I’d be happy to elaborate if you think that would be interesting, he has a really interesting life story and he is an extremely well-read and well educated person with diverse interests and knowledge.  Ever time I talk to him, I learn something from him.  

I’m intrigued enough, I actually do want to hear more.

One of the reasons he is an interesting man is he was a Roman Catholic Priest for twenty plus years in New York City before he met and married my mom.  He was very classically educated and has four different degrees in different areas.  He knows all the classics and has obviously led a very spiritual life, then when he turned forty he married my mom and didn’t have a dime to his name.  So he had to reinvent himself at the age of forty and became a parent of two kids and a working professional.  He had to leave a life that he grew up in and his departure was based on things that were really core to him and also some concerns about the institution he was representing and where that was going.  He made a major change and had a very interesting 2nd, 3rd, 4th chapter of his life.  

It is always kind of a shame when you hear the Catholic Priest punchline.  Very much deserved by the bad actors and the institution, but some of the most interesting people are Catholic Priests.  I think my first interview ever was a long form discussion with a Catholic Priest for a project in college.

They get great education.

I love talking to someone who can surprise me, and I was so surprised by this person.

(My dad) was part of the church at the time that was advocating for civil rights and participating in the marches and just being active socially.  He was in a cohort of people who bailed out all at the same time given the unfortunate things that were happening within the church.  A lot of his friends were former priests and nuns as crazy as that sounds.

I actually might need to update my dinner list to have your dad on it!  I read a lot of biographies and one of the things I’m morbidly fascinated by are last words.  What would your last words be?

I don’t know if I can come up with anything statement oriented.  I’d probably pick a couple key words about what I felt like my life and ethos is all about.  I’ll just react spontaneously to your question and say: “grateful” comes to the top of the list, “loved” I feel really privileged to have come from a really loving family and to live in a loving family now, and I would probably try to come up with some other word that represents my interest and care for others.

That is great!  That is a new one I’ve never asked before, so you had no way to prepare for it.  I was wondering if it was too hard a question- a little too heavy.

Well it definitely is heavy, but fortunately you asked it during my second glass of wine-

Not fortune, that is planning!

I should know, you’re the master.  Can I take the table and turn it on you and ask what yours would be?

Wow.  I did not expect you to take this table and turn it around on me.

Have another swig of beer, it helps the thinking process!

Then my final words would be, “Never try to turn the tables on an interviewer”.

Touché!

No, your answer is really great and I’m finding it hard to not be swayed by it.  Okay, so it being St. Patrick’s Day, it might be something like, “You may kill me, *switching to cartoonish Irish accent* but yer never gonna be able to get my Lucky Charms”!  So that is my bullshit answer and I’ll try to think of a better one.  That is actually a nice button to end on.  Did you have anything else you wanted to say that I haven’t already probed you on.

Just that I appreciate you and The Shop and the larger community and I’m so grateful that I found it and that I get to be a part of it!

And the feeling is mutual; we are better for having you in that larger community!

Melanie Pearce is an incandescent regular attendee of the early morning classes at Manor Road and the F’n Go Run Group.  We grabbed a table on the patio of Honeymoon Spirit Lounge on a perfect Thursday evening in October and indulged in some artfully mixed cocktails.  Read on to be charmed by Mel’s palpable love of adventure and the Shop Community or to learn an embarrassing story from both the interviewee and the interviewer!

Coach Chad: I asked the coaching staff if they had any questions for you and John actually came out hot on this one-

Mel Pearce: Oh… I’m sure.

How do you feel about (LSU Football Head Coach) Ed Orgeron getting fired?

That is coming in hot.  I love Coach O- it is pretty sad.  I’m bummed about it, but we will see. 

I love how composed you are being- not giving John the satisfaction.  He also wanted to know your favorite Cajun food dish.

Mmm… This is a really interesting question because I’m a weirdo Cajun-

But you are Cajun?

Yes and no- I wasn’t born there but I grew up there.

So culturally Cajun?

Right!  I don’t eat a lot of meat, so i would say like a seafood gumbo or a Boudin bowl

What is the official dance of Lafayette?

Oh!  Cajun dancing- it is like a two step, but a little more freestyle.  It is pretty distinct when you see it.  I could show it to you some time.

You and I have been meaning to hang out more, so maybe next time I will tap you for some Cajun dancing lessons.  Well John clearly had an idea of where you come from heading into this, but could you give a brief rundown of where you are from and how you got to Austin for our readers?

I was born in Delaware-

Very Cajun!

Oh yes, deep in Cajun country.

That’s why people in Delaware really say it (goes into a spot on Cajun accent) “Delaway-uh” cause dey so deep into dat Cajun Countray!

Oh yes and Coach O is also from Delaware.

Right… wait, really?

Oh no!  He’s from deep deep in the boot of Louisiana.

So Cajun that he is actually a crawdad.

Exactly!  So born in Delaware then moved to Maryland, Florida, Missouri, and then Louisiana.

Wow- Military kid?

No, my mom was a badass sales woman and she just got moved to a bunch of different places-

She’s a mercenary isn’t she?

Well yeah, she’s in the CIA.

Alright.  Well I don’t think you’re supposed to say that on a recording, but fair enough.

*laughing* Yeah, you’ll have to cut that out.

Right right- or you’ll cut me out.

Yeah yeah.  I moved to Louisiana in 5th grade and was there through college.  I moved to Austin in 2010 for grad school-

What was your focus in grad school?

Counseling.  And then when I finished, I wanted to stay in Austin so I got a job at UT and then I moved to Sacramento for two and a half years and then moved back.

When did you move back?

Right before the pandemic…

Welcome home honey!  Wasn’t it so much better to be in a place you love  during the pandemic?  I had just moved back to Austin as well and I count my lucky stars that we made that move when we did.

Yeah, I had my little friend pod and we would play board games or swim in their pool- we were together all the time.

I have a little bit of experience with you and you actually helped my wife out with some career stuff because you describe yourself as a matchmaker for careers.  Can you talk about that a bit?

Yeah!  I went for more of a career counseling route than more traditional therapy.  When I moved back to Austin, I started working with grad students and I basically do employer relations.  I try to find companies looking for specialized, advanced skills and connect the companies with students.

Now that skill as a matchmaker- does that translate to any other areas of life?  Are you a matchmaker in your social circles?

That’s a good question!  You know, I have played that role a time or two.  It isn’t my forte, but I’ve definitely arranged it for person a and person b to be in the same place at the same time.

Another question in that realm that occurred to me was, out of all the coaches at The Shop, if you could give them a different job, what would it be?  Not that they aren’t good at their current job, but if one of them came to you and said “you need to get me the hell out of this place- Dane has gotten too handsome, I can’t work for him any more”, who would you save?

Okay!  We can start with Dane and I would say standup comedy.  Maybe some acting.

When I first started working at The Shop, he and another coach and I took some improv classes together.  He does have some funnies.  That’s a good one!

I have more!  Beth Reyburn should go into pottery-

She’s really damn good!  Have you seen her work?

No I actually haven’t.

That is an incredible call because she has gotten amazing with pottery.  The past couple Christmases she has given the members of the management team custom made pieces.  Absolutely gorgeous.

Wow!  Keith should be a physical therapist.

He does have that interest in the really granular aspects of training.

He is really good at diagnosing where your weak points are.  This would be a good second drink question!

If another occurs to you, just call it out.  I always do a little bit of instagram stalking before these interviews and your last posting was a series of photos from ACL, what was the high point of your experience?  I mean, the fact that it happened at all is a high point obviously.

I am detoxing this week-

Detoxing with a margarita?

*huge laughter*. Okay. Alright!  I was detoxing until Thursday night!  My uncle and his partner came into town and their two friends joined us, so I had an entourage of four gay guys all weekend.

Some of my favorite memories have been with an entourage of four gay guys.

*more big laughter* Yes!  By Thursday we were already hitting a drag show.  Friday was ACL- George Strait.  This was my 11th ACL- my first year was 2006 and it was where my love of Austin started.

Do you have a favorite memory from that year?

Tom Petty… playing in the rain.

Ugh… That is so cool!  With such a profound love of the city, can you describe a “perfect Austin weekend”?

First thing is first, (coming out of the weekend)I am going to Dane’s Body Shop to workout.  Preferably a 6:30am class on a Monday with Coach Chad.  Okay, so let’s say it is 8:30am on a Saturday- I’m at Stormie’s class.  It is a beautiful day- then maybe I grab a coffee and a breakfast taco.

Favorite place for the coffee and taco situation?

Oh my gosh- this is a really tough question.  Right now I’m liking Palomino- it is really close to where I live.  Dear Diary is another one I really like-

This is where I reveal that you weren’t actually elected Athlete of the Season- it is just an elaborate ruse I’ve concocted to figure out the best places for coffee and tacos.

Ha!  I really love Vera Cruz- their tacos are amazing.

*server comes by to ask if we are doing okay*

Are you down for another round?

I mean, I’m detoxing, so yes!

Okay, so it is late Saturday morning- that is as far into this fantasy weekend as we’ve gotten.

So then I’m going for a hike on the greenbelt maybe.  After the hike I probably take a trip to Whole Foods-

Gotta support the evil empire!  Hear that Jeffrey Bezos? She is diligent in her tithing to you.

*laughing more- it really is a good laugh guys*. Then I am probably rolling into happy hour with some friends- maybe the ABGB.  Then maybe heading to dinner somewhere; right now my favorite dinner spot is Suerte.  You’ve gotta go- it is so good.  Then maybe going out somewhere.  Lately it has been White Horse.  Oh wait!  Before White Horse, maybe I hit a show somewhere like the Scoot Inn.

So we’re shutting things down rowdy at White Horse.  We roll out of bed on Sunday morning-

Sundays are my yoga days.  I bounce around to different places.  Then probably back to Whole Foods or something.  I really like to grocery shop.  

I think we need to stage a Whole Foods intervention for you!  Nah, that’s cool.  So you’re probably spending at least a little time at your house on this perfect weekend- cause you just bought a house right?

Yes!  That was quite the journey with the pandemic and everything, but I moved in in July.

If I were to come over to Casa Mel, describe for me what I might see?  What is your style?

I’m a minimalist.  I don’t like a lot of stuff.

I’m going to editorialize here and say that my wife is an incredible nester, but I am also a hard core minimalist and she is very good at decorating, but it is a lot of stuff.  She’s great at decorating- I think she calls it neo-bohemian or something.

Okay- I would say I’m like a boho minimalist?  *laughs* Yeah, I moved in July and I still don’t have anything on the walls because I’m kind of digging the vibe.  It is also a super small house, so I just don’t have a lot of stuff.

So when you finally do hang something on the wall, what is it?

Oh god- I have a billion ACL posters that are all framed and I don’t know where to put them!  This is my big conundrum right now.

Do you know Patty and AJ?

No I don’t think so-

They are evening people, so you may not have encountered them.  Patty was the first ever Manor Athlete of the season and the two of them are tremendous people.  They live very close to the Shop and their house is like literally an art gallery.  It is the most impressively decorated place I have ever seen.  If you haven’t met them already you have to-

I feel like I love them already.

And AJ works for Whole Foods, so he is your man on the inside.  So there are some checkmarks for Athlete of the Season candidates: regular attendance, positive attitude, but I think maybe the biggest one is just connecting to other members.  You seem to be one of the biggest participants in what I call “Shop sub-communities”.  We are one community, but one of the cool things are these sub groups of people who hang out together outside of class.  You are in the run group, so can you talk about that and any other groups you hang out with?

This is great- I was hoping to plug the F’n Go Run Group-

Well then before we move on- plug it!  What is the pitch?

Run Group is so much fun!  I think people are intimidated, but the truth is we talk a lot.  We do anywhere from 3-6 miles, but it is always with breaks.  There are the faster people, and more intermediate runners, and people who just want to take it easy so there is a place for anyone.  We also do a lot of happy hours which is my forte.

It certainly sounds like you are experienced in happy hours.  That is actually what you got your grad degree in isn’t it?  Happy Hour is counseling in my experience.

Oh yeah, yeah, it is all the same!  Sometimes the group is big and sometimes it is small.  If anyone is thinking of joining us you totally should!  If you just want to come to happy hour you should.  There is a spreadsheet (that says when and where the meetings take place)-

And that spreadsheet is accessible to all members- if you’re newer, you received a link to it when you got your welcoming email after signing up!  I will link to it in this interview!  Now you come to the 5:30am and 6:30am classes usually right?  I feel like that is a specific community of its own.

It is!  (morning class attendees) Emily and Melissa Taylor take an evening class on Thursdays and I freaking love them, so I want to start taking that class with them so I can meet more members even though it isn’t my favorite to workout in the evening.

I’m the same way- the workout is what sets the pace for my day.

Exactly and then I don’t have to worry about it.  But I want to start going to other times so I can infiltrate other groups.

“Infiltrate”, I like that!  If you have any flexibility for midday class, the 11:45am class at Hyde Park would be a fascinating community for you to infiltrate.  I love my 11:45am class at Manor, but at Hyde Park there are a lot of people who have been members for a very long time and they present a very unique vibe.

Chad, that would be so outside of my box!  Maybe I will do that.

So that is a goal, but do you have any goals in life that you’re working on?  I love the fitness goals, but just in general- what are you targeting in life?

I’m starting to plan a lot of travel- I used to vagabond around quite a bit.  I lived in New Zealand and Australia- I lived in a van.  I would live a couple months in one place-

Your CIA mother employed you as a sniper!

*big laugh* Yes!  Like I said, she’s a badass.

I want to meet your mom, bring her to The Shop next time she is in town.

I should!  She’s a lot.

What’s her name?  I want to see how much I can creepily talk about your mom during this interview.

Her name is Gloria… She goes by “Glo”.

GLO!  I love it!

She would kill me if she knew I was talking about this.  Her middle name is so fitting for her, but it was actually a mistake on her birth certificate.  Her name is Gloria Martini.

GLORIA MARTINI???

She’s the youngest of six, so by the time she came along it was like “sorry we didn’t double check it”.

That is fantastic.  What were we talking about.  I know we were talking about your mom-

Goals?

Oh that is right- you were talking about travel.

I’m going to do a bit more traveling- I’ve got a couple things in December.  I’m actually going to go to Puerto Rico with a couple other members over Christmas.  I’m going to go to New York in the beginning of December.

And there are a lot of Puerto Ricans in New York, so you can ease into it!  Do you speak Spanish?

Oh Chad, I should.  I’ve taken so many classes and taken lessons.

Well this is a chance for us to plug another member!  Do you know Janani and Virginia?

Yes!  Virginia teaches Spanish right?

I started taking classes with her right before the pandemic in person and then she switched to virtual y mi español es mucho más mejor ahora!

I’ve heard you speak Spanish!

I have so much work to do, but any gains I’ve made are all her.  They are small group classes and she is just fantastic.

Let’s plug her- can you link to that as well?

Yes!  The Language House- I’ll link to it!

Janani and Virginia- I also f*cking love them.  Man it is like any member you bring up I get so excited.  And then I’m also going back to Lafayette of course- I go back a lot.

To see Gloria Martini?  Is she still there?

No, she’s on the east coast now.  It is my friend-family.  I’ve got really really close girl friends who are like sisters to me and they all still live there.  When I moved back from Sacramento, they were all like “what are you doing, move back to Lafayette instead!” and I really considered it.

Cool cool.  I always like to conclude with some just completely random questions that have no bearing on anything.  I think John kind of covered some random ground up top.  I asked a member in the class I just coached and he told me to just ask you what the most embarrassing moment of your life was.

In my life?  Oh there are so many!

Pick one!  A moment that you’re comfortable sharing with your entire DBS community.

Let me think of something that is appropriate for this interview.

Meh, “appropriate” is kind of relative.  Back in the day I had a long and entertaining interview with a Spotlight Athlete and our detailed conversation about merkins made it into the transcript.  There is a wide lane for appropriate- it is more about what you are comfortable with.

I feel like anything I say is too much!  This is so tough.

I’ll throw one out as an ice breaker.  I had been a trainer for like two years when we moved to Austin from Chicago and I started at Dane’s Body Shop.  I was already super intimidated by some of the trainers they had at the time who were very knowledgeable and very experienced.  I had just been given my first couple classes and was already having some imposter syndrome when I went to demo a burpee and I just ripped a fart.  It was a moment where I had three paths:  the most obvious was to just leave class in that moment and never be seen again, I could pretend it didn’t happen, and the third option was the one I chose which was to stop class, turn off the music and acknowledge what just happened.  I think that was the moment where I earned my first cred at The Shop.  Not even remotely the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me- just an example

Okay, so I have a lot of embarrassing things I could say and maybe after we finish recording I’ll tell you more.  But when I was traveling in Australia, I was really gung ho about learning to surf; it is a big part of the culture there.  What most silly young Americans don’t realize is that there are a lot of riptides in Australia.  My friend and I were hung over and hanging out on the beach and she was napping so I just decided to go for it.  So I paddled out a little further and before I knew it, I’m caught in a super vicious riptide- I was so far away from the shore.  I started to realize that I’m swimming and not going anywhere and that I’m going to be eaten by a shark and then I started hyperventilating- just freaking out.  I’m just thinking this is the end and I’m really hyperventilating and then I see this guy and, in my mind it is in slo-mo and he was like David Hasselhoff, and I see him jump in the water.  I realize that this guy looks pretty cute from afar and he is swimming aggressively toward me and I might be getting rescued-

And you’re getting a little turned on?

*big laughter* Right?  And I’m hyperventilating at the same time.

That actually sounds incredible, I want this experience.

So I’m crying and this hot Australian man is coming my way.  He gets closer to me and very seriously starts yelling “are you okay?” and I was like “yeah, I’m fine!”.  

You think you’re dying but you’re “fine”?

He was just like “You look like you’re in distress” and so I said “no, I’m good”.  Then he was like “you’re in distress” and I responded “okay, maybe a little”.  So he said, “alright, I’m going to rescue you then”.  So I get on his back and he swam me to the shore.  He was like “you were in some serious trouble there” and I was just trying to play it cool- I didn’t want to be a silly American.  

That is a fantastic story.  Our experiences with Australian men are very different- most of mine involve breaking up fist fights.

I can see that too!

Speaking of fights, would you rather fight one hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?

*giggling*. Duck sized horses- because they’d be so cute!

That is the right answer.  Ducks already have a part of their anatomy that is very pronounced and if you scaled that to a horse size it is positively the stuff of nightmares.  I’m not going to go into details, but readers can look it up.  Okay, so you’re having a dinner party at your house, your new house-

And we will have one of those one day!

Absolutely- but before I get invited, you get to invite three celebrities or any other famous figures, who do you go with?

Okay, so this is pretty easy.  The first one is Eddie Vedder.

You’re a big Pearl Jam person?

Huge!

Okay, we will talk more about that after we turn this recorder off.

Okay!  Obama.

We’re keeping serious Chicago vibes here-

And Beyonce!

It’s good.  I feel like with Obama and Eddie, we’re having a really good conversation and everyone is taking turns and then you drop Beyonce in and the whole thing gets unbalanced.  But maybe you need someone like that- something asymmetrical in terms of personalities.  That is good- I love how quick you were to answer that.  Okay, so you are dictator for the day and you get to make 2-3 edicts that everyone has to follow- completely tyrannical stuff- what sort of decrees would you issue.

I have a thing with waste- like with food or plastic- people who aren’t eco-conscience.  I don’t know how I’d enforce it though.

That is good and it also doesn’t have to be a punitive decree.  Like everyone who rescues a puppy gets a parade.

Well I love animals, so that is a good one.  Okay, so I think honesty is super important so I think people should live with authenticity.

So like if someone lies, they burst into flames?  That’s good, I like that.

Sure, there we go Chad- if you lie, you burst into flames.

*deep accusatory voice* How many lies have you told during this interview Melanie… *normal voice* Cause you on fire girl!  Yeow!  Broadly speaking, if you were an animal, what animal would you say you identify with?

Giraffe.

Giraffe???  Talk to me about that.  Why that?

Ever since I was little I’ve had this affinity with giraffes.  I just love giraffes.  I have been to South Africa and I saw one in person and I almost lost my mind.  They are just so gentle and when they run it is so beautiful.

That is really good!  Doing these interviews is my favorite thing that I get to do at The Shop because I think it is so important to put a spotlight on some of the incredible people we have in our community.  So I like to finish these interviews kind of open ended and just ask you if you have anything else you’d like to say.

You’re right- the people in this community are incredible.  I’ve been to a lot of gyms in my time and I feel by far the most invested in the community (at The Shop).  I just feel so welcomed and that is my goal to make people feel welcomed into the community.  I just f*cking love the people here.  So thank you for doing (these interviews) and the fact that the coaches vote on (Shop Athlete Spotlight) is just so sweet.

Any advice?  You’re now in what I call the pantheon of Spotlight Athletes- you are a goddess as it were and the people seek your wisdom.  What can you give them?

I can give you F’n Go Run Group!

Click on the link!

I just want to close on… GEAUX TIGERS!

I felt like some sort of fancy pants drug dealer character as I hosted Spotlight Athlete, Natalie Cincotta at my luxurious pool earlier this month.  By “luxurious pool” of course I mean the communal pool in my humble apartment complex and by “Natalie Cincotta” of course I mean the wildly curious world traveler whose power clean is a thing of most radiant beauty and whose thirst for post-war German erotica knows no bounds!

Coach Chad  
No, that’s a good place to start. You’ve really never been interviewed?  And you’re about to defend your thesis.

Natalie  Cincotta
I’ve done presentations and workshops and stuff like that, but not not an interview. Not like this. I’d like to be on a podcast though, there are a lot of good history podcasts out there.

Chad  
Well, you mentioned Lauren (Lichterman), you could potentially go on her “Tell Me More About That” podcast, which I thought was a delight when I was on!

Natalie  
That’s a good idea.

Chad  
So we’ve had the pleasure of hanging out a couple times. But the two most obvious things I know about you are that you’re a history doctoral student, and you are someone who lifts weights pretty damn well. You do a good job of picking the heavy things back up and then setting them back down again. So I wanted to ask basically five questions at once: How did you get into history? How did you get into lifting weights?  AND if you can tie that process together? Can you find a thread as to why? What stoked your interest in both of those things?

Natalie  
Oh, that’s such an interesting way to put it. Well, for me, getting into history has been just an interest that I have cultivated over a very long period of time, like since I was a kid.

Chad  
Can you point to specific early interest in history?

Natalie  
I grew up reading a lot of historical fiction and nonfiction. One book that was really impactful when I was young was “The Diary of Anne Frank”. That’s how I actually got interested in Holocaust studies- I read a lot of Holocaust memoirs and things like that.  I had also grown up hearing a lot about my Oma, which is German for grandmother. She grew up in Germany and emigrated to Australia. She shared a lot about her experiences and our family’s history with me too. Then when I was in high school, I pretty much just took every history subject elective that I could, I actually graduated with more than half of my credit (being) history credit.

Chad  
This was high school???

Natalie  
Yeah! It wasn’t just the required (history) we had subjects that you could choose too;  ancient history, modern history, and then an extension course that was about historiography, or essentially how people write history.

Chad  
That sounds so incredibly different from the American system- in my experience anyway, we don’t have anywhere near that sort of optionality.

Natalie  
 I remember one of my projects was answering the question, why did the Titanic sink? And I did all of this different research that culminated in a presentation; I remember going online and looking at reports on the types of metal and iron they use to build the ship and how that that played a role-

Chad  
 so what was your chief culprit?

Natalie  
I think I said it was ego. At the end of the day, the people just wanted to build this thing really fast and didn’t want to heed anybody’s warnings.

Chad  
So with history, it seems like a pretty like organic thing where you just happened upon something compelling like “The Diary of Anne Frank” and that bridged into a larger interest.  So how does that differ from your entree into fitness and lifting?

Natalie  
Well, I initially came to Danes Body Shop, because one of my friends went there and she really enjoyed it; she really enjoyed the community. She had also gotten a lot stronger. And I was like, I want to do that! That looks fun!

Chad  
I need to be able to fight this bitch?  

Natalie  
Yeah, yeah!  And so I took a community workout with her and it was a really good vibe.  I didn’t know anything really about lifting a barbell, I’d never done it before. And it just became really, really addictive. I think I liked that- that I didn’t really know what I was doing. It was challenging and I think that that is maybe what that connecting point (between lifting and history) is, right? I’m just trying out things that I don’t know much about and trying to figure them out and get better at them.

Chad  
That’s cool. I like that.  So your focus of study is specifically on East Germany right?

Natalie  
West Germany.

Chad  
 Sorry!  I legitimately had it in my head that it was East Germany.  How did you land on that?

Natalie  
Well, it’s a couple of things. So maybe it would be helpful if I just very briefly describe my project. Essentially, my project focuses on this very provocative political and aesthetic youth magazine called “Twen” that was published between 1959 and 1971 in West Germany.  I essentially use this magazine as a lens to understand the political, social, and also cultural upheavals and changes of the 60s that were in large part being driven by a younger generation of people. That’s the case in Germany, but also in other places, like here in (the US). So some of those things encompass dealing with the Nazi past, demanding more grassroots democratic participation, confronting what people saw as a really kind of stuffy sexual morality, you know, sexual revolution, that’s a big part of my project. Breaking out of old patterns of thinking and feeling and, you know, throwing out all the old ways of doing things. So that’s very broadly, what my project does.

Chad  
I’m gonna have to hit you up privately about some suggested reading! Before we get too far afield into history, I did my due diligence before this interview- scanning your instagram feed.  I was scrolling through your postings and the photos you post are so well composed and I was curious what draws your eye?  What makes you go, “Ooo, I have to capture this”?

Natalie  
Oh!  Well, first of all, thank you. It really depends; sometimes I can just see what a shot would look like if I’m in a particular place or sometimes I just like observing people and what they’re doing. You will probably see some of my photos are like random people who don’t know I’m taking pictures of them.  I have this great one of these kids in Croatia playing- I don’t know, I just like observing what people are doing around me.

Chad  
Do you ever take any photos of the shop?

Natalie  
No….

Chad  
For fear of being creepy, because whipping your camera out and taking pictures of people working out can be kind of creepy?

Natalie  
I think I did take photos when we did the Strong Person Mini-Meet- to document everyone’s accomplishments.

Chad  
I got some good photos of you during that, because that is my job. I AM the creepy person who takes photos of people when they are working out. The other thing about looking at your Instagram feed is traveling to wonderful places. Has it been a tough year for you not traveling?

Natalie  
I was supposed to go to Australia last year; I try to go every two years so I can see family. But obviously that didn’t happen- that probably won’t happen until 2022. But yeah, it was hard to not travel, but I can’t complain.

Chad  
Do you have any travel on the docket now?

Natalie  
Yes, I do have a little bit planned for the near future. So after I submit all of my final materials, we’re going to Playa Del Carmen at (DBS member Juan Sequeda)’s suggestion.

Chad  
Nice! Something I wanted to ask you about was transitioning from Virtual classes when we were shut down back into in person classes.  Now that I know what a good photographer you are, it makes sense that you were so smooth in setting up your device over Zoom, but whereas some members were extra cautious and didn’t come back to in person classes until much later, you came back pretty much right away.  You were good at the virtual workouts and I know your boyfriend has a nice gym in his apartment, so what compelled you to come back to class at The Shop?

Natalie  
I hate working out at home by myself.  I think you guys did a really wonderful job of not just helping people continue their workouts, but also trying to bring together the community aspect virtually. That was awesome!  I just personally cannot stand working out at home by myself. Even if I had a full Dane’s Body Shop set up in my non-existent garage, I probably wouldn’t workout there. Especially because at that time I was writing my dissertation and not interacting with anybody. And so I would spend all day in my head thinking really difficult thoughts and trying to write something really complex. And so I need that at the end of the day- I need to go to The Shop. I need to see the people I know.

Chad  
Is it the space, is it the people, or is it the coaching?

Natalie  
All of it: the interacting with people/getting to know people aspect and I like the space because it’s not my house. I like to be in different places. But I also like the aggression of doing, like, a clean, you know?

Chad  
Okay, now that’s a really nice segue to the next bit I wanted to touch on. I have had many great interactions with you and one of them was you getting a PR on your clean by like 10 pounds or something like that. As I recall, I think that you didn’t get it on the first try-

Natalie  
Sometimes I get stuck in my own head.

Chad  
Yeah, that is what I wanted to ask- as someone who is in a field that requires rigorous analytical thinking, do you find that mindset to be beneficial when lifting?

Natalie  
Oh no!  If I’m in my head and overthinking things then I just need to call it for the day. The best times (for lifting) is when I’m like- and you’ll probably have to edit this out- when I get that “Fuck it!” confidence you know?

Chad  
No, you’re fine- we can go completely blue if you want.

Natalie  
Yeah?  I wish I knew that earlier! So yeah, when I’m not overthinking my hand position or where my shoulders are- that is when I have my best lift.

Chad  
My all time deadlift max happened after one very strong beer and a shot of whiskey at 10 in the morning. So yeah, I think there’s something to not overthinking. That’s great.  So in the next part of this interview we’re going to get into some random questions. One of my favorite memories of giving a tour to a prospective member was an interaction you had with a South African member named Jason- he has a very distinct South African accent.  He is wonderful and he is also a bit of a sonofabitch in the best possible way.  So as I was escorting you out of the facility, I briefly introduced the two of you saying some version of “Natalie is from Australia and Jason is from South Africa- those countries are kind of close aren’t they!?!?”.  And his response was: “Australia?  So now you guys are signing convicts up for members eh?”

Natalie  
*big laughter* I don’t remember that!  That’s fucking funny!

Chad  
Yeah, he totally generalized Australians as convicts! So I wanted to give you the opportunity here to throw shade at the South Africans. Are there any equivalent barbs you’d like to throw his way?

Natalie  
I wish that I had something fun for you. But I have no clue. I don’t remember having any beefs with South Africa growing up.

Chad  
“No beef with South Africa” might be the title of this interview. We’ll see. One of the questions that I’ll ask somewhat regularly, and I’m extra interested in with you, is if you could take a figure from history and have a dinner and discussion with them, who would it be?

Natalie  
This is so much pressure!  Oh man, this is like when people ask you a favorite movie and you just blank.

Chad  
Could be former coaches at Danes body shop like Mitch, you can throw Mitch in there if you want. He’s in Arizona though; the food’s not great.

Natalie  
Oh, I know! Here’s one you’ve never heard of: her name is Beate Uhse-Rotermund, I could spell that for you later. She was a pilot in the Luftwaffe, but that’s not the most interesting thing about her! After World War Two, she started Germany’s biggest erotica company; it started out selling contraceptives and all sorts of things. Then it expanded into a mail-order business that delivered erotica catalogs to people’s houses. And the reason that she’s so interesting is that after the war, at least on the official level, there was a very kind of strict sexual morality in terms of the nuclear family. (The Germans) had all these laws that prohibited public display of certain indecent materials, like in public and blah, blah, blah- and one of the loopholes of that law actually allowed mail order businesses to flourish, because people could consume sexual objects in their own homes and not disrupt public order or anything like that.  So, I would probably invite her to dinner to ask her about German erotica, but also as a woman heading up one of the biggest companies that, even to this day, still exists.

Chad  
That is an incredible answer. Okay, so continuing on this theme of the Wehrmacht and the Luftwaffa- and, you know, German secret serum and everything- if you were to be injected with a secret serum and become a super powered person, what sort of powers would you have? And would you be a villain or a hero?

Natalie  
Oh, man… I change my answer to this every time that I get asked the question.  Honestly, I would like to be able to, to use the Harry Potter term, to be able to apparate anywhere I want, when I want. Because how much more amazing would life be if you didn’t have to commute anywhere?  I need some guac from HEB and now I just click my fingers? Or just take a weekend in Paris?  I think that is the superior super power.  It is also better for the environment-


Chad
I don’t know- are we sure that apparating doesn’t leave an insane carbon footprint?

Natalie
In my imaginary world it doesn’t, so I guess that makes me a hero.

Chad
There you go!  Okay, if you were to describe yourself as a fruit or vegetable, which one would it be and why?

Natalie
Ohhhhh shit…

Chad
Shit?  Shit is your answer?

Natalie
*laughing* Shit is a fruit, you didn’t know that?  Hmmm…  Is avocado a fruit?

Chad
Yes it is!  And what qualities of an avocado represent you?  

Natalie
They’re very versatile, I can be sweet or I can be spicy, and everyone loves avocados- just kidding on that one!

Chad
People would apparate to HEB just to get you!  Also, hipsters could put you on toast.

Natalie
That actually makes sense because all Australians know how to make is avocado toast priced at $20 a pop.

Chad
What is your pettiest pet peeve?

Natalie
*laughing* Oh I have so many!  I’m the pettiest person.  When people don’t use their blinkers- but I think a lot of people hate that so that isn’t the pettiest.  I hate it when people stand too close to me.  *darkly* When people who don’t put their carts back at the store.  Ok no!  You can scratch all of that- my number one pet peeve is when people talk on speaker phone.  Any time, any place, I don’t want to hear it.

Chad
Do you think you could make it your mission to jump into the conversation any time someone is talking on speaker phone?  I think that is a great deterrent.

Natalie
Yeah!  Or yell something like “come back to bed!”.

Chad
Or “That looks infected!”.  That’s great.  Do you have a favorite swear word?

Natalie
I say “Fuckssake” a lot.  

Chad
Last random question: tell us something utterly surprising about you.  Someone who works out with you three or four times a week- what would be something they would not guess about you.

Natalie
I don’t know- I feel like I’m not that surprising.  Um… *really long and satisfying pause*. Oh, I play like a shit ton of Animal Crossing.

Chad
I think that is very surprising- I would not have guessed.  But I guess it makes sense; my wife was a big reader before she went to grad school and now she just wants to play like the Sims or whatever it is she is playing.

Natalie
Right?  You’ve got to balance it out!  There are so many things I want to read and I want to learn, but at the end of the day I’ve done that all day and what I really want to do is make my little beach island.  That’s all I want.

Chad
That’s nice!  Before we wrap this up, you have ascended to the Pantheon of Athletes of the Season-

Natalie
*sheepishly* I was so surprised!

Chad
Why do you think it happened?

Natalie
I don’t know… I really don’t.

Chad
The “why do you think it happened” one is a shitty question to ask, but I ask it because it gives me a chance to answer for you.  You’re dedicated, you come to class regularly, you were wonderful and regular while we were shut down and you came back with great spirit.  You interact with other people, you’re very present- you really were a slam dunk choice.

Natalie
Awww.  I appreciate that- that’s nice.

Chad
So do you have any words of advice for the community?  I think it was September of 2019 that I gave you a tour, so you’ve been here for almost two years.

Natalie
That is crazy!  Oh my god!  

Chad
Yeah, I think you were my first tour after moving back to Austin.  I remember worrying that my awkwardness had run you off because I was still getting my tour legs under me.  What advice would you give to a new potential member who had just had an awkward tour with me?

Natalie
Its okay, I’m awkward too!  Advice to a new person?

Chad
Yeah, about how they should approach The Shop.

Natalie
I am going to steal from Jack (Brown) here.  I remember in his interview he said, “everybody starts from somewhere”.  I think that is so important because I’ve been intimidated before by people who lift really heavy and really seem to know what they’re doing.  But everyone starts from somewhere and the community is very supportive, so have an open mind and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Yeah, I think that was really good advice, so I’m just stealing it.

Chad
From the mouths of babes- Jack is so young and so wise for a shirtless shoeless man.  Well Natalie, this has been a real pleasure!

As if I weren’t already looking forward to my Athlete Spotlight interview with Steven Hernandez and Marie Prendergast enough, my enchanting wife and I received an invitation to join them for homemade pizza and baked goodies at their house on the east side.  With the funky tunes of Steven’s beloved Red Hot Chili Peppers setting a background groove, we were treated to an evening of lovey dovey anecdotes and exceptional food!

 

Coach Chad: Can you guys tell a little bit about your first impression of one another?

Steven Hernandez:  I was impressed because she was there before me and I pride myself on being prompt-

Marie Prendergast:  That’s not how we met though.  We met on Ok Cupid.

So his first impression was analog and you first impression was digital?

SVH:  My first impression was that she got there before I did and I was like, alright!

MP:  I got there early because I had just started the online dating thing and I didn’t want to go through the awkwardness of who is going to pay.  So I got there extra early, paid for my beer and sat down.

That is a boss independent move!

SVH:  I very much respected that and so I went and grabbed my beer… and then more beers were had after that.

What was your first meaningful impression of him?

MP:  He was the first person to message me on OK Cupid- on the day that I signed up.  My profile was all about baking and he asked me “what is the thing that you’re most proud of having baked?”.  My favorite thing to bake are macarons because they are tough to make- so I feel accomplished after baking them.  I had baked a bunch right before our first date and he had recently gone to Japan, so I brought him green tea matcha macarons with chocolate ganache filling.

SVH: I ate most of them on the date because they were so good and I was like, “Oh man, I’m going to be in trouble!”.

MP:  So my first impression was that I thought he was good looking in his profile pictures, but when I met him I was like dayumn! you’re even more handsome than you are in photos!  That is not common.

So that was question one; question two is what was your first impression of Dane’s Body Shop?

MP:  Steven had been going for like a year when we met.  He kept talking about The Shop and how much he enjoyed it and said that I should join.  My impression was look at (SVH)!  You must have to be really strong and very athletic to join this gym!  But he kept saying I should try it, so I decided to try one class and if I didn’t die, then I’d join. So he paid for a drop-in for me and I went to a class, no tour or anything.  It was a John Gates Whitely class and I was scared and it was really really hard, but at the end I was like “well, I did it.  I feel pretty accomplished”- I might have even cried, but it was good enough that I immediately signed up for the full monthly membership after that and I’ve been going ever since.

SVH:  For me, I remembered when they started remodeling (The Manor Road Shop) which was formerly a dry-cleaners-

Which, by the way, I tried to convince Dane to call the Manor Road location “Dane’s Power Clean” because of that.

MP:  Oh, that’s hilarious!

Wifey Becca:  I think that “Dane’s Clean and Press” would be better.

MP:  No actually I like that better too!

SVH: Both would have been great!  I thought it was like a Crossfit gym and I didn’t really want to do that, but eventually after driving by a bunch and seeing what people were doing I decided to inquire.  I emailed John Gates Whiteley: that is where the nickname SVH came from- I was teaching at UT at the time and would sign my emails SVH just as a brief thing, but John just started calling me SVH in the early correspondence.  I told him that I had had a rough year and just wanted to change some things about my physical and mental approach.  Then I met with Dane and Pete Tulumba-

Wifey Becca: COACH PETER!!!

SVH:  We could only meet right before class and so it was just me and the two of them which was really intimidating because they are both so fit.  When class started, it was packed and they were doing hang cleans which reminded me of playing football.  So about a month later I signed up and the rest is history!  As intimidating as it seemed at the moment, it also seemed very familiar because of football- but it wasn’t filled with pressure and competitive, it was very communal and supportive.  Everyone I met in the first 100 days at Dane’s are like now invited to our wedding!

Remind me when that is?

Wifey Becca:  You do not need to put that in there!  Are you going to ask for the location too?

Yes!  And what is your social security number?

SVH: 9-7-

STOP, Steven Stop!!!  Those are both really fun answers.  I want to get back to another question about you two- what is your favorite way in which your sweet little fiancee shows love?

SVH:  This is going to sound dumb, but it is when she gets interested in a Dallas Cowboy Football game.  If she’s like “That was a great run by Ezekiel Elliot”, I’m like “Oh my god baby, that was a great run by Ezekiel Elliot!”.

MP:  We recently watched the Euro Cup Tournament and he was rooting for England because they were the underdog, but I have Italian citizenship, so I was rooting hard for them.  It kept getting more and more heated and he was like, “Baby I love that you’re getting so passionate!.”

Oooo Spicy!  What is it that Steven does for you?

MP:  My love language is quality time and we spend a lot of time together.  It did get to the point in the pandemic where we were literally only seeing each other and we did get a little sick of one another… but it took a really long time to get there!  So quality of time is important to me and so is acts of service and he keeps the house really clean.  He’s very thoughtful.  Also, I’ve never been super into receiving gifts- I like giving them, but receiving hasn’t been a big deal- but he gives amazing gifts!  He got me personal training sessions at The Shop!  For my birthday this year, it was the pandemic and so he knew I wouldn’t be comfortable going out for a fancy dinner and so he hired a personal chef to come to our house and cook us a four course dinner of my favorite foods!  How genius is he?

That is lovely!   I’ve got a few more superficial questions and then we will get into some completely random ones.  What is the sexiest exercise to watch one another do at The Shop?

SVH:  Squats!  Any squats- anything that puts that badonkadonk down and picks it right up again!

MP:  I like watching him do high box jumps!  You know what is not sexy?  The deadlift.  When he goes for a PR his face gets all red and he kind of looks like he’s going to pass out.  While it is very impressive, it isn’t sexy.

And that is a sign of good form!  I tell people that if they look attractive when they are doing a heavy deadlift, they aren’t doing it right.

SVH:  Well I listen to all of my coaches at Dane’s Body Shop- Chad and Dane and Pete-

Oh Steven, you don’t have to plug us- you already gained Athlete Spotlight status!  Ok, so you’re getting married soon- who is driving the planning of the wedding?

SVH: *zero hesitation* Marie.

MP:  Oh yeah!

SVH:  But I did insist on the colors-

DALLAS COWBOY COLORS???

SVH:  Yeah baby!

MP:  Silver and blue- those are good colors!

HOW BOUT DAT WEDDING?!?!?!

SVH: Yeah, so I picked the colors and let her decide everything else-

MP: Not everything!  We are using the venue that you wanted and we agreed on the food together-

SVH: Burgers and Eastside Pies- very non traditional.  And yard games- can jam, corn hole-

This does sound dreamy.  Outside of working out at Dane’s Body Shop, what activities bring the most joy and fulfillment to your life?

MP: I love baking-

I figured we would hit on that!  Which by the way, what is this delicious caramelized thing I’m eating right now?

MP:  It’s called a Florentine and it has orange extract and chopped candied ginger.  I love baking- Steven actually helped to turn the spare room into a prep room for my side hustle-

SVH:  #bakedfromscratchatx

I’m all about plugging in these interviews!

MP: I’ve been baking my whole life- I started to learn from my Italian Grandmother.  She didn’t have many successful bakes so I had to figure out a lot on my own, but one of my favorite things was bringing something like a panettone to her.  Her Italian accent would come out-

*In an absurd Italian accent* Oh Marie, you make-ah my life so happy!

MP:  Yeah, a little less Mario than that.

Nope, she was eating pasta and had a big thick mustache when this happened.

MP:  I’m baking my way through an Italian cookbook and there are 75 recipes, so it has been a lot of Italian Desserts.

SVH:  I’m surprised I’m not obese at the moment.

MP:  It’s because you workout at Dane’s… Body…. Shop!

And what do you do for joy SVH?

SVH:  Now this is going to sound like a plug- but it has been working out.  It has always been a way to exorcise whatever day’s demons had encroached on me.  Lately though, I’ve been into golf.  The fact that I can out drive (Shop Operations Director) John Gates Whiteley.

And that is the important thing!

SVH: Yeah, with one year of golf under my belt I can beat John who has had decades of golfing.  I kid, I kid!  Golfing was something I could do in the pandemic and it was also something that gave me patience.  It is a game where you can have a bunch of bad shots, but then you can have a couple good shots; it helps me to remember to look at the positive side of things and not always the negatives.  It helped me to become more of a positive person.  Also, you’re with friends!  Just out in a glorious park, maybe sipping some beverages and having some good conversation.

I’m going to pair up the next two questions and you can answer them separately or as one question: why is fitness important in one’s life? and why is love important?

SVH:  Fitness, for me, brings balance through the stresses of the day.  I can go to the gym and have the stress washed away because I’ve taken it out on the weights or the mats- whatever we’re doing that day.  Love… keeps you grounded.  Love helps you to remember why the day is important and it doesn’t mask the bad things in life.

So fitness is sort of your reaction to the tough things in life and love is-

SVH: Remembering what is good in life.

I like that, that’s cool!  What’s your answer Marie?

Wifey Becca: Can we just let the record reflect that Marie just smiled the most beautiful smile while he gave that answer?

That’s the perfect Ed McMahon moment for you Becca.  Good job.

MP:  *Bashfully* Fitness is important to me because I’m a really competitive person- I grew up the youngest of four and my brothers are basically geniuses, so I have a lot to live up to.  We played a lot of board games and trivia which was challenging and I like having that challenge.  Taking classes at Dane’s, as opposed to working out alone, offers that kind of challenge and keeps things interesting.  It helps me to get better.  I get to finish a day and feel like I’ve accomplished something.  And then love is important because it is what makes each day good.

Is there a contrast or comparison you could draw between your fitness accomplishments and your love accomplishments? … Wow, I phrased that in an exceptionally weird way!

MP: *laughing* Oh, I’ve loved x amount more today than yesterday!  No it is just so wonderful to have someone who is completely supportive, particularly during those times that I fail at a challenge or am getting in my head.  He is just so loving and reminds me that I don’t have to compete with anyone else.  Supporting one another and growing together.

It sounds like you both come from a place where fitness is the space where you push yourself and love is where you allow yourself to feel safe.

MP: Yeah, exactly.

Now transitioning to some more random questions- what is your all time pump up jam?

MP:  Mine is “My Body” by Young The Giant.  Any time you get tired in a workout, you throw that on and the lyrics, “My body tells me no, but I won’t quit because I want more”!

SVH:  I got it… *proceeds to slowly turn up the volume on the music that has been set to a background level, revealing a funktastic Red Hot Chili Peppers song* It is not on any Chili Pepper album you can find- it is a b-side.  It is kind of a secret song.

Marie, as a baker, and as we sit here enjoying your delicious baked goods-

Wifey Becca: I had two cookies!

What is your favorite “treat yourself” food or drink?

SVH: I love a burger from Crown and Anchor- even if it only costs $6, it tastes like it costs $60!  That is my favorite burger in town.

Wifey Becca: *dreamily* their fries are really good too.

SVH:  My god!  The fries complement the burger so well that you almost want another burger!

MP: And they hold up in delivery!  We definitely favored some of those during the pandemic.  I am all about Karah’s Diavolo w/ house parm cheese from Patrizis.  

That pasta is absolutely insane.  Which coach at Dane’s Body Shop would you most want to see on a reality show and which reality show would that be?

SVH:  Oh man… I would love to see John Gates Whiteley on “Naked and Afraid”.

But to be clear, you aren’t saying you want to see John naked right?

MP: I don’t know, Steven might!

SVH:  Oh no!

MP: He just wants to see him afraid!

That is great!  Marie?  I’m sure you’ve watched plenty of baking shows.

MP: Well I don’t know who is good at baking!  

Let me reframe the question: let’s pretend like it is MTV’s The Real World and all of the coaches are living together in an apartment, who do you think would freak out the most-

MP: John!  I think he’d get tired of ya’ll real fast.

Final question!  You two are now members of the pantheon of Spotlight Athletes: do you have words of wisdom to those who may come after you?

SVH:  Patience!  I was here forever before I was Athlete of the Season!  Seriously though, it is about being a community and not being competitive.  Making friends for life and understanding that the people around you are in the same boat as you and all they want to do is better themselves.  Anything you do to uplift them, just acknowledging how hard a workout was or complementing their lift, goes a long way in building relationships and bettering the community.

MP:  You can also take your engagement photos at The Shop and then Dane’s will be guilted into making you an Athlete Spotlight! *laughing*

Okay Okay!  The question was more general advice, not suggesting ways to game the system!  You two actually earned it!  Marie, you had that experience of coming to The Shop and not thinking of yourself as an athletic person- any advice for those people?

MP:  Just keep showing up!  There will be days that you feel like you made improvement and there will be days where muscles hurt and you feel exhausted.  Days where you don’t understand how to do a power clean, and you hate them, and you’ve done them so many times, and you get corrected every time, and you get different corrections from different coaches(!)…  but then eventually you get to the point where you really do get how to do a power clean and one of the coaches says, “wow, that was a really great power clean!” and then you feel so good inside.

Weather the storm?

MP:  Just keep swimming!

And to that I’ll just add the advice to make friends with Steve and Marie so that you can come to their house and have delicious homemade pizza.

MP:  And cupcakes and cookies!

Lauren and I met in Mueller Lake Park on a breezy afternoon for a conversation that was top notch with respect to content and honestly, the audio was amazing as well!  Given that Lauren is a podcast empresario, we may end up releasing the audio of this interview at some point!  If you’re looking for a sterling example of making the best out of a pandemic- from overindulging in Mexican Martinis to chancing into a grad school program, to inventive ways of making human contact hygienically, this conversation is a can’t miss!

Coach Chad: I think the first question that I wanted to ask you, Lauren Lichterman is-

Lauren Lichterman: Is it on?

Oh, we’re recording!

We goin’!  Woo!

So it is April 14th today and about a year ago your world changed more dramatically than most people I know with respect to what their plans were versus what actually ended up happening.  Can you talk to me a little bit about what you planned on doing in the Spring of 2020 and what actually happened?

*giggling knowingly*  So… I had quit my job that I had had for 10 years-

Which was?

Working in the University of Texas Athletics Department- Hook em horns!  I had been there for a decade working in facilities and events and I reached a limit.  I loved it, it was great, but one can only work 60-80 hour weeks for so long.  So I quit my job, didn’t know what I was going to do, and formulated this idea based around a conference in London that I was going to go to in March of 2020.  I figured since I was unemployed and had some savings, why would I come back?

Makes perfect sense!

So my original plan was to get on a plane on March 14th with a one way ticket to London and then just travel and volunteer around the world for the next year or two.  That didn’t pan out…

Wait, why didn’t that pan out?

Unfortunately this little thing called Covid hit the entire world-

Ahhhh yes, that!

We had a pandemic and all the borders to countries started closing on March 13th, so literally a 12 hour difference and I might have been stuck in London.  I would have had to buy a very expensive ticket back or to find an AirBnB in London and-

and start working on your cockney accent?

And do nothing!  Just being trapped in London- there are obviously worse places to be.

Can you do a British accent by the way?

Oh I am the worst at accents-

Do one anyway!

Uh… Chip, chip cheerio!  *laughing* Cheers to the gov’nah!  *dear readers, she really isn’t that bad!  I’d give her a C-!*

Good job!  What went through your mind when this happened I thought about you so much.  For me, I don’t do well with plans being messed up because I’m mildly obsessive compulsive.  I would have been destroyed.

It was not pleasant.  For a while I was convinced that I was still going to go and that it would all blow over *sardonic laughter*.  A handful of very concerned and stern friends talked me off of getting on a plane.  I am very obsessive about making plans too, so it was very surprising that I had booked such an open trip.  So for the rest of March I was just drunk for like two weeks.  I was going to pity party for 4 or 5 days and then give myself a cut-off point for being mad.  But at that point I had literally nothing to do!

I feel like I remember hearing the phrase “passed out in a kiddy pool in my driveway on Cinco de Mayo”?

That happened!  I made Trudy’s Mexican Martinis and didn’t have much of a direction at that point.  So I was going to travel the world but I ended up working at Home Depot instead, so things really worked out for the better!

When life hands you lemonade, make lemons eh?

Exactly!  It was not my favorite- I made it a month.

I was lucky enough to be in phone and texting contact with you throughout all of this, and it was my perception that you never really bottomed out.  You seemed to be in as good of a headspace as any of us at the time.  Is that true?  Do you feel like you kept a pretty decent head on your shoulders?

I think I did.  I guess if the rest of the world hadn’t also been suffering then it might have been harder to digest that my world imploded.  Most people were way worse off than me- I had savings.  I had friends lose jobs, people’s daily lives got disrupted- I did not have a daily life.

That is an incredible amount of self awareness and graciousness.  I feel like that could have been a really dark time for you and the way you handled it was actually quite inspirational to me.  Like Lauren is keeping her shit together, so why not keep my shit together.

Thanks! *bashful laughter*

Were there any dark moments you wanted to highlight, because otherwise I’m going to move along.

I think the dark moment was the day after Cinco de Mayo when I thought maybe I was dying.  I didn’t pass out!  I fell in the Kiddy Pool.  I don’t remember a lot of that day- I had a lot of Zooms going on.  I am normally a very responsible drunk and apparently I couldn’t figure out how to unplug the kiddy pool.

I wanted to point to the brighter side because through all of this, your life hit a major inflection point.  Your life pivoted completely during the height of the pandemic.  Can you talk about that?

Yeah!  Early mid-May I got an opportunity to go to grad school and become a research assistant in sports sustainability and to get my Masters in sports management- which is ironically something I have said that I would never ever, ever, ever do- going back to school.  But when you have literally nothing going on in life and an expert in your field reaches out and says they want to work with you, grab that bull by the horns!

Hook’em!

Right- and the only downside is the program is at A&M which is a bit of an inner conflict.

Gig’em?

They do say that.  So because of the pandemic, most of the coursework is remote so I didn’t need to move to College Station.  So now I am in the academic world!  It is very different to be in an academic program with twenty-two year olds-

You mean people of the age twenty-two right? Not like twenty two years?

*laughing* Correct!

Not a grad program for toddlers?

I clear the next oldest person by five years- I’m closer in age to all of my professors than anyone in my cohort.

So that isn’t just thriving in spite of the pandemic, it sounds like you were attuned to possibilities that happened because of the pandemic.

Absolutely!

Now one of the more serious questions the coaches wanted me to ask you was Beth Reyburn wanted to know how you got into sustainability.  And this might be a good time for you to tag on a mini bio of yourself.

I grew up recycling and caring about the environment and didn’t think too much about it until I got into my full time job with Texas Athletics.  I had originally been hired to create and manage their customer service program on game days for different sports.  I randomly got invited to a meeting with the sustainability office on campus.  They wanted to build a tailgate recycling program and asked if I could support it.  So for the first couple years I was just in a support role but I ended up, in collaboration with the office of sustainability, building out this massive Texas Athletics sustainability program.  Our main focus has been in zero waste, so I’ve jumped in lots of dumpsters and I’ve touched lots of trash-

So you have to have a killer immune system!

I have to!  Yeah, there’s been some gross trash- rancid meat day, rainbow spills (which is our code for vomit at events).  So yeah, just by happenstance- good timing and networking.  They gave me the autonomy to work on (sustainability) as long as I got my other work done.  So I got grant funding and sponsorships.  What I love about it is that it is important for the world and it is a challenge all of the time- there is always something to fix in building sustainability.  I’ve loved puzzles all my life- I got caught doing a puzzle during class today!  And then I’ve found that I need meaning in my work- I need to be doing something for the common good in order to be motivated to do it.

That is great.  For someone who has eyes trained on sustainability I have two questions: a. what is the most common violation of sustainability protocol and b. what is the most egregious?

I wonder if they are one in the same?  The most common is paper.  People don’t know what to do with paper.  Paper towels, specifically, are not recyclable and everyone thinks they are.  They have a conditioner in them that makes them function as paper towels-

People really think that?

Yes! I mean you would recycle newspaper if it got a little wet, you’d recycle computer paper if it got a little wet- but you don’t use those things as paper towels!  So that is a huge misconception people have of paper towels.

And a huge misconception you have of me is that I actually do use computer paper to dry my hands.

No you don’t!

I like the way it feels.

How many paper cuts do you have?

So many!  I’m a bad boy and I like to remind myself that I’m a bad boy.  Okay, so people not knowing what to do with paper.  What makes you the most angry?  What is flagrant and egregious?

What immediately came to mind is greenwashing.  Companies will spend their marketing dollars telling you that they’re doing good stuff for the environment but they are actually spending more money on the marketing than the thing itself.

Wow!

You see it with Exxon and BP, Coca Cola- they are trying to tell you that they are doing good and to put the onus on the individual to be more sustainable when they are actually the biggest offenders.  There aren’t a lot of common definitions for materials, so they can use “compostable” or “biodegradable” as they wish and there is no regulation.  It pisses me off to no end.  You’ll have to cut me off on this in a second, but you know “reduce, reuse, recycle”?  That is a hierarchy, you should reduce first and then reuse and then recycle. Most people think “recycle, recycle, recycle” because Coca Cola has put a shit ton of marketing dollars in telling you that you need to recycle stuff so that you will buy their plastic and aluminum.

And there are other  reasons to not drink Coca Cola- like health.  That is a great segue!  Lauren, how did you get into health and fitness?

I grew up playing sports.  I had never been into working out for fun, it was just a necessity because that is how sports work.  I had a roommate years ago- however long I’ve been a member, seven years?- who worked out at Dane’s and when she came to live with me asked me if I’d like to join.  I figured if I was going with a friend, I would see what it was like.  And of course, as anyone who has been to Dane’s knows, you’re instantly hooked.

What is the hook?

Chad.  It is you.

I wasn’t even there when you started!

Ugh, who was my instant hook?  That was like Dunte and Lee Anne and Andrew Key-

Oh… your hook was Andrew’s abs.

And his smile.

Yep, we are a very vapid and surfacey community here.

*laughing* Oh, that is totally what they say about us.  I was very much a Fusion class only person at first.  I made amazing friends and people were so cool.  I did a “get fit” month through the Shop and they suggested working some Strength classes in.  I was super intimidated, but I will never forget the first class I went to; Shelly Nall and Carmen Gaddis invited me to join their rack.  I was so relieved!  These two women in the Strength class were being nice to me and we are still great friends to this day.  They were so encouraging and nice.

This is just like the scene in Forrest Gump when he goes on the bus and Jenny says he can sit with her.

YES!  One hundred percent!  Shout out to those wonderful ladies.  Again it was an instant hook- I never thought I’d be someone who enjoyed the self challenge of Strength and getting new maxes and competing with yourself. But it is such an encouraging community and now I feel like I am more of a Strength than a Fusion person.  I talk about “church of Keith” and “disciple of Keith” like so many of us are.

I want to dig into that a little further- what is so stimulating about the idea of competing with yourself?

As I mentioned with sustainability, I’m a person who likes challenges.  Most people know I don’t gravitate toward cardio challenges-

You actually have this cool move you will do where you will take back to back classes and work really hard in Strength and then just stand around talking to people in Fusion rather than working out.

*roaring with laughter*  Oh I do some of the work out.  At least half!

Sometimes… I’ve seen it both ways.  But I endorse it!

It is also about who is your coach?  That is another thing I love about Dane’s- all the coaches have different personalities and types of motivation.  Depending on how I’m feeling in a day, there are different coaches I want to see.  If I’m feeling like stretching and just doing any sort of movement, Bean is going to be my support for that because she is so great at modifying.  If I really need to have my ass kicked, it is Beth Reyburn’s class- 100% that is where I am going because she won’t let me slack off at all.  I really love that you can get whatever you want.

What mindset propels you into my class?

Well, I get a butt bump!

There we go!  For our listeners, that is very much non-pornographic.  This is a Covid thing where we have taken the “ebola elbow” and turned it into what I call the “Covid cullo”.  We can’t hug one another so we tap butts.

And it has been wonderful.

It really has, I love butt bumping with you Lauren.

I butt bump with other people, but you are my primary butt bump partner.  You really are.

I love that we are poly-assmorous.  

That is perfect!  I don’t know that I’ve ever butt-bumped Dane.  That would be an interesting experience.

That is your challenge for the week!  You need to butt bump Dane.  That is actually a great segue into some random questions and questions asked by coaches.  Autumn asked a question, and I thought she was going in the direction of the classic KFM question directed at coaches-

What?  Oh!  Oh…. yeah. *knowing laughter*

But she framed it in a more family friendly way.  So amongst the coaches, let’s not make any members uncomfortable, choose: a. one person to go out for the night with; dinner, clubbing, whatever b. one person to go on a long weekend with- hang out for a week or so and c. a coach to be your roommate- someone you’d want to live with for a year or two.

Ooooo….  That is good!  Clubbing is you, hands down.  We’ve actually talked about that multiple times in recent conversations. When can we go to Barbarella/ can we turn the new Hyde Park Shop into a club.  So that is an easy one.  Weekend getaway?  Any coach.  But probably Bean.  I feel like she’d be a good combo of doing activities and just chilling.

Absolutely.  I think she’d be a great choice.  My only counterpoint is that she’d also be great for the last category.

Yeah…  So the last category would be Stormie.  We used to work together and have many similarities. Stormie would be good because socializing would be easy and we have enough in common.  I think it would be great.

Yeah.  And her heroin addiction isn’t totally obvious.  People don’t know about it-

Well I actually started her on that.  It is something we do together. I wasn’t going to bring that up. *big laughter*

Pass the needle- that is perfect!  Another question came from Stormie actually.  When are you going to stop bailing on her 6am classes?

*roaring with laughter*  I knew it!

How often are you doing this to her?

Honestly, like every week.

Stormie, you aren’t alone- she does it to me too!

I try not to bail on anyone‘s classes.

But if you do, you prefer to bail on Stormie’s?

No! It just happens that stuff comes up on Tuesday morning.  If I do miss one of her classes, I try to make it up later in the week.  Listen, I’m trying!

Come on Stormie- ease up off our girl!  Beth Reyburn wanted to know if you’ve ever met anyone more extroverted than you?

Ha!  I’m sure I have… no one is coming to mind.

This is the least quick you’ve answered anything.

You’re pretty extroverted- I don’t know if it is out of necessity…

It’s just my job.  If I had my way, I would never speak to another human again, but for some reason I chose a job where I have to talk to all the humans all the time.

*laughing* maybe it is me.  All of my friends joke that no matter where I go I meet someone I know and I feel compelled to talk to people.  Why wouldn’t I though?  Maybe it is me.

I’ve never seen anyone as comfortable talking to strangers as you are.  This is a great time to mention that you and another member, Erika Bsumek, ran a voter registration drive last fall.  You spearheaded the thing while Erika and I just hung back- you would just approach anyone walking by and ask them if they were registered to vote.

I think that is part of my profession- as part of the stadium tour program, I literally had to talk to anyone who comes into my presence, whether they want to yell at me or thank me or ask me a question.

Speaking of talking to strangers, I’ve been wanting to work in a plug for you!  You have a podcast called “Tell Me More About That”.  You aren’t talking to strangers, but it definitely features your gift of gab.  I’ve got two questions- the first one is, what is your favorite thing about running a long-form conversation podcast?

Um… I just like hanging out with my friend Mackenzie.  We had thought about a podcast a couple years ago and then the pandemic happened and it was something to keep us engaged.  We’re both people who like to learn new things and ask questions.  It has been cool to cover topics that we want to talk about.  We actually are recording this weekend- I’m covering Kate Winslet and she is covering the real life human who Leo’s character (from the film Titanic) was based on.

That’s cool. *begins singing “My Heart Will Go On”-

That is definitely going to need to stay in the interview.

Kate and Leo were technically the stars, but we all know Celine was the real star of that film.  Piggybacking off of that, you’re in your second season of the podcast.  Of all the people that you’ve covered or are planning to cover, who would you most like to have on your podcast?

Ohhh…  That’s a really good question.   You’ll appreciate this, but the first person I thought of was Abraham Lincoln-

FUCK YEAH!

We don’t always cover people– I would love to talk to an octopus.  They are fascinating.  And also, I want people listening to this to know Chad came up with the sub-series for the podcast, and has been a guest on the pod; it is called “Tell Me Even More About That”.  We did an episode called American Dads because Tom Hanks and Abe Lincoln are distantly related.  Chad came on and told us his top five takes on our episode and told us more about Lincoln!

And it was fun!  I had several friends and family members who listened to it, loved it, and thought you ladies did a great job.

You were a blast!  If anyone else wants to be on, let me know!

Listen to the podcast and hit them up if you have something to add!

If there are any marine biologists out there that would be awesome!

That would be killer.  I think we’re getting close to wrapping this up and we have covered so much information in a short time.  Do you have any questions to pose to the coaching staff?  They came pretty aggressively with questions for you.  Also any members you have questions for?

This is a silly thing, but it is the first thing that came to mind- when are they going to replace the (teensy and jenky) white rack in the Strength room at Hyde Park with a real rack?

I’m going to just answer this one with my educated guess… never!

Well it works and as a person who supports sustainability, I respect that.

The Shop has to rank pretty high in terms of sustainable practices right?

Absolutely!  I’m trying to think of questions, but because I talk a lot, I have probably already asked them.  As far as members, I was at Manor one morning and I don’t know as many people there.  I was working out next to someone and the coach introduced us.  The person responded by saying they were really introverted.

Good on them for calling it out!

Props to you!  I could have annoyed the crap out of you and you would have been miserable.  Thank you for telling me!  I’m capable of not talking- I just don’t do it often.  I don’t have a question for that member, I just want to say I respect the hell out of you.

Open-ended, I’ll throw it out for that member to contact me, chad@danesbodyshop.com, and if you have any questions for Lauren, like what the hell did you have to drink before you came to class?, let me know!  Well wrapping up, I like to finish with words of wisdom since you are now in the pantheon of Athlete Spotlights.  Specifically, I’d like to frame this as, because you made such a remarkable pivot during this difficult time do you have any advice for turning lemons into lemonade?

It is certainly easier said than done, but you can choose to see the glass half full.  Sometimes being miserable is unavoidable, but once you get out of that you can choose to find the gratitude in your life.  Copying (former DBS member and former Spotlight Athlete) Chelsea Bunn, I started making a construction paper gratitude chain.  I write a gratitude on a piece of paper, particularly when I’m having a down day, and I have it hanging in my house as a physical reminder of how much I have to be grateful for.  And actually last week I think I had two Chad classes and I wrote after the second class that I was grateful for two classes with Chad and all the butt bumps.

Aw….

I was having a particularly rough week last week and getting to see you twice, I was grateful for that.

That’s too heartwarming!  Now how often do you have to burn off links on the chain because you had two Chad classes???

*big laughter*  Never!

So finding the gratitude?

Yeah, choosing to see the glass half full because we all have things that we can be grateful for even if they are hard to see.  When I didn’t get to go on that trip I reminded myself that I had a roof over my head, I was able to feed myself, my family was healthy, and that was what really mattered.

Now really quick, Dane’s Body Shop coaches: kill, f***, marry?

AHHHHH!!!

And we stop recording now!

Friday Hybrid at Hyde Park always carries with it an air of festivity, but this was a particularly special end to the week.  Ty and I hung around after class to enjoy a couple cool beers and some hot takes in the shade of that Shop’s recently erected outdoor shade tent.  Read on to learn more about this shy but social Shop standout!

Coach Chad: What was that Eric?

Hybrid attendee, Eric Freytag:  Dane Krager, bad coach or worst coach at Dane’s Body Shop?

That is a fabulous question and a great way to start this Shop Athlete Spotlight Interview with Ty Lapinski- what is your opinion Ty?

Ty Lapinski: Well, he definitely isn’t the worst.

Oh!  That is going to be the title of this interview: “Dane Krager: Definitely not The Worst”.  Who is the worst coach?

I’m going to go with John, because he can never finish a class on time- he always runs over.

Why do you suppose that is?

Time management skills, lots of talking.  He is the one who talks about Shop news updates.

Gotchya- well that is actually very good of him!  

Eric: *laughing* You guys have fun, I’ll see ya later!

So I did a little bit of deep diving to research you before this interview- I got on the dark web… that’s right, instagram!  You have three emoticons on your profile, do you know what they are?

One is a swimmer, one is headphones, and the other one is a laptop?

A weightlifter actually.  I know that you lift weights and that you are a swimmer, so I wanted to start off talking about the headphones.  Do you just like music a lot or do you make music?

It has been a Covid hobby, but I’ve always had a passion for music.  I picked up a mixer and I’ve been producing stuff.  I’ve had friends who have done it for years, so I just started making music and playing shows.  In Zilker Park, we have a thing we do once a month called “Beats in the Park”.  We go out there with a generator and then three or four of us will play for a few hours.

That is really fun.  What type of music?

Um… I play a little bit of everything.  I try to make more modern beats with older songs.

I’m completely ignorant about the process of creating electronic music.  Do you just grab samples and mix them together?

There are a bunch of ways you can do it.  You can download songs and mix them with others- pull the vocals off one and put beats from another song in to make it kind of a different song.  You can speed it up or slow it down.  As you’re playing throughout (a set) when you move between songs, to have a seamless transition, you have to be at kind of the same tempo.  It is fun!  I work a lot during the week, so it is just one of those things where I can decompress and make music.  I was never musically inclined growing up- I played the trumpet, but I didn’t like it that much- I wanted to play drums but I ranked very poorly in the percussion instruments.  It kind of came full circle- that there was a way to make music but it didn’t have to be with an instrument.  I like playing live shows because it is kind of exposing people to music they had never heard of before.

You make gateway drug music!

There you go!

Do you have any artists that were particularly influential for you?

There is a label called Anjunabeats- the people who made it are called “Above and Beyond” and they go way back- they are a very niche genre part of EDM music.  They got into the form because of Moby and are kind of the founding fathers of this type of music- even some of the more well known stuff like Kygo.  There is a guy named Jason Ross that is my all time favorite- I usually have a hat on that has his logo.  I wasn’t always into this type of music- I used to be into more rock music, but I kind of evolved as I exited high school into this other realm.  So now I can combine some of the music I listened to back then with what I listen to now.

That’s really cool. So you grew up in Austin?

Yeah, I was born in San Antonio, then my parents moved here when I was four and pretty much lived here my whole life.  I tried going to Florida for my first year of college-

What was that about?  Just trying something new?

I was recruited for swimming at FAU (Florida Atlantic University)- I thought it was going to be awesome, like 5 minutes from the beach, a newer University, Coach Bean went there… But then I remembered coming back for Thanksgiving and then getting on the plane to go back to Florida and I felt like I was going to cry.  I saw my future flashing before my eyes and started to think that if I stayed in Florida I would be stuck in Florida.

What did that future look like?  What does Florida Ty look like?

If you’ve never been to Florida, it is a fun place to visit, but living there is quite the different experience.  You hear about it on the news and think, “there is no way it could be so crazy!” but it definitely is.

I like that Florida is catching some strays here.  Tell me what you were most proud of as a swimmer in college?

Funny- my year in Florida was my best year as a swimmer ever.

Because you always have alligators chasing you?

Exactly!  I came back to Austin and realized that swimming wasn’t a be all and end all for me.  The biggest thing for me (at Southwestern University in Georgetown) was when I came in there were only 10 people-which isn’t even a whole team- but then a new coach came in and we had a great recruiting class that I got to be a part of to build this whole program up from nothing.  Now they’ve won a whole bunch and so looking back it is cool to think that I was a part of that recruiting class that came in and set the tone for the rest of the program.  I had a few records.

Do any of them still stand?

I think one does.

How many steroids did you have to take to get those records?

*laughing* Thankfully none!

Oh guys, you can’t see it, but he just winked at me.  Okay, okay, I gotcha.  So now you work in tech?

Yes I do.  It is funny, I have always been competitive with sports and even with my career- it isn’t the same thing- but I always want to be working on the next thing.  

Pivoting back to this place, how did you end up at Dane’s Body Shop?

I heard about it a long time ago.  Funny story- I originally heard about it from a dating app.

Oh, so that ad space we bought on Grindr really worked!

*big laughter* It was actually on Tinder, but that is fine as well.  I have a coworker named Trent Walker who used to come to the Shop and I’m trying to get him to come back- not sure if he gets these newsletters or not… Trent Walker!  But (he and his roommate) lived close to the Hyde Park Shop and they suggested that I check it out.  So I did and I just loved it.  So three years later, here I am and I tell everyone about it!

If you’ve got other things about The Shop that you love, jump back in- but I wanted to circle back to the music thing.  As such a fan of music, is there a coach that just hits you right with the music?

Unfortunately, Mitch isn’t here any more-

I was going to guess that based on what you described.  

Stormie and Bean are also really good.  Sometimes Bean lets me take over the music for a class.  I can give you the worst…

That is normally the way I frame the question!

It is definitely Keith *laughing*.  But now that I am thinking about it, I’m probably the worst.  Keith gave me his phone number so I could send him some playlists.  I was playing music during class and he said, “I really like the music you’re playing- could you send me the playlist?”.  And um… I forgot.

That is funny because Keith called me up one evening in February, and he was crying.  He said, “I’ve lost it”.  Then I said, “What did you lose Keith?”.  And he responded “All of my ability to have faith and trust in another human.  A member who told me they’d send me a playlist just didn’t.”. 

Oh, well now I feel really bad.  Big beefy exterior but a teddy bear underneath eh?

He’s a gentle person.  Aside from a unique music bond with coaches, do you have any members that you’ve created a relationship with?

Oh man, I’m shy.  At The Manor Shop, there are some people that I will be talkative with in class- do you know Mark?

Is he the doctor?

Oh, there are two Marks- Mark Murray is a doctor- but there is Mark and Leo.  And then JP. We’re all pretty talkative.  I’m a more reserved person- I’ll wait for you to come to me.

You’re like a kitty cat!

I’ve been told that I’m not approachable, that I’ve got “resting bitch face”.

I don’t know that that is true!

I haven’t been told that at The Shop, but like at the office.  But, I mean, I’m sitting in front of a computer!

Fu** whoever said that, you can have a computer bitch face!

Well I am approachable- you can always say hi to me.

And you were working out with Brian yesterday-

Yes, Brian is my boyfriend and we live together on the east side.  I’ve been going to The Shop for three years and I’ve been with Brian for two years-

So you get all buff and sexy at The Shop and snag a dreamboat like Brian- I see!

Exactly!  So I convinced him to come over to Dane’s in the fall and I think he’s loving it.

And you two give one another shit when you workout.  Do you have fun working out together

Oh yeah!  People think we’re nuts- like don’t you spend enough time together at home (we both work at home due to Covid)?  But we like being around each other.  Even outside of Dane’s though, we give each other shit.  Brian doesn’t go around saying it, but he used to do a lot of Crossfit and he is certified, so I always throw that in his face.  If he’s introducing himself to a coach I always tell the coach that and just walk away.  I like to plant that seed.

Just throwing a little bomb on his lap.

We have fun!  But yeah even though I love my job, working out here helps to relieve stress and everyone is super nice and friendly.

When I was Instagram stalking you, I scrolled all the way down on your feed-

Oh god!  There are some photos of me with like diamond earrings and I look like such a douche-

You look adorable!  But there are a number of photos of you with really lovely women.  Sometimes it is two or three really lovely women.  If I didn’t have a greater context of you, I’d be thinking “this guy is big pimpin!”.

After living in the dorms, I lived off campus with three girls who were all on the swim team.  It wasn’t until late in college that people really knew that I was gay.  People would be like, “If Ty doesn’t show up to this party, then none of the girls show up- what is going on?”.  They didn’t realize that I was the gay best friend.  I have a twin sister and my mom who were both involved with me growing up (my Dad just traveled a lot for work), so talking to women has always been very easy for me- not just because of the gay thing, it is just who I grew up with.  All of my bosses have been women- I’ve been very fortunate to work with a lot of really amazing women.  With everything going on in diversity with tech right now- it is just really cool that I’ve learned so much from women throughout my life.

I had a similar experience!  I had a wonderful father, who has passed, but he traveled a lot growing up, so it was my incredible sister and mom and my aunt and her daughters.  I’ve had amazing women as drama teachers and bosses- I’m always looking for the coolest woman in the room.  Even though I’m straight, I’ve always been happy to be in the roll of gay best friend.

*laughing* Now that I think about it, without realizing it, these women that I hung out with from my swim team in college were kind of my beard!

I love it- accidental beard!

I’m all about equality.  At work, we had a webinar about advocacy and I spoke about my female mentors… I’ve had male mentors too.  But what I was advocating was that if you’re a man you should have female mentors, not just male mentors.  Also, if you’re a woman you should have male mentors and not just female mentors.  I’ve always had a mixture of both and it has been a great experience.  But I’ve always had respect for women in my field- if you’re in tech and you are a woman or you aren’t white, you sometimes have to try twice as hard-

Wait, Ty!  Are you telling me the tech industry is dominated by white men?

Surprise right?!?!?

Interview over!  I have to do some research on this!  I think that is fantastic that you have a leadership voice in advocacy within your company.  Okay, so now you have the opportunity to make one strong woman very happy and one strong woman very sad.  I asked the coaches who had questions for you, and Autumn wanted me to ask if you like her or Stormie better.  So who is it?

Oh no!  This has been going on for like two years!

What started this?

I used to go to Autumn’s classes and then Stormie was doing a lot of afternoon classes.  So I used to have flexibility to take classes earlier in the afternoon-

I feel like you’re filibustering the question.

I know right?  I’m trying to run out of time so I don’t have to answer.  Anyway, if you asked me now it would have to be Stormie…

Oh!  Oh wow!!! Dayumn!!!

Because Autumn has not even been present in my life of late and I have heard that there have been people invited to Autumn’s home recently and I have yet to get an invite.  I heard there was an Easter situation?

So Stormie has the belt.  Does Autumn have a chance to win it back?

She does.  But, as I was saying earlier, she might have to work twice as hard.

*exploding with laughter* In improv, we call that a callback Ty.  That is brilliant.  

And now we have a “Lil Stormie” who is subbing from time to time.  Blair.

Lil Stormie?

That’s what she told me her nickname was!  She said people confuse her for Stormie because they are both blonde and have a similar frame, she’s just shorter.  She and Stormie both also work at UT apparently.  But she is great- helping a lot with my push press.

That makes me so happy.  Blair is the first new coach that I have sort of been in charge of bringing onto the team and I’m incredibly proud of her.  Stormie too!  We worked together at a shitty gym and so when I made it over to the Shop, I was like we need to get this awesome Stormie woman over here.  I think this is a good time to transition to some random questions.  As a music loving person, I like this unifying theme we’ve had, you walk into a room and a song plays as the Ty theme. What is it?  Maybe you’re a wrestler and it is your entrance music.

Laura Branigan has a song called “Gloria” that the St. Louis Blues play.  So I’m thinking about that playing as I’m swimming and walking up to the block.

I was terrible at sports as a kid, but I got really into baseball because I was slightly less embarrassing at that sport- still the worst kid on the team by far.  But I was really serious about it so I had a pump up song that I had my mom play on the short ride to the ballpark before every game.  And that song was “Fancy” by Reba McEntire.  I even named my bat “Fancy”.  There probably aren’t any weirder pump up song choices than that-

* laughing* Oh I’m sure you could go weirder, but that is pretty out there.

The next question is very theoretical and high concept- some magical being offers you a deal: you get $10,000 every year for the rest of your life and the only catch is that at one meal each year, could be the first meal or the last meal,  you will find a live angry scorpion.  Do you take the deal?

For $10,000 a year?  I don’t think I want it!

I’m so with you!  And you and I are in the minority based on responses I’ve heard.

Really?  I have to say that when they get to that sandwich and they lift up the bun and see that scorpion, they will be like “never mind, you keep the money!”

Yeah!  Burritos, sandwiches, chicken pot pies- you won’t enjoy your meal!  Thank you Ty, I’m glad you’re with me.  

I am not a bug person at all.  

I’ve asked people a question along the lines of if a movie was made of your life, what genre would it be?  who would direct it?  who would portray you in the movie?.  You can answer any of those, but I’m going to spin it for you and ask if someone were to make a film specifically of your experiences in class at The Shop, what kind of film would that be?  What genre?

I feel like it would have to be a super badass action or- no it has to be a comedy, just silly shit.

Is it a romantic comedy, do we bring Brian into it?

*sly smile* Why not?  That’d be fun.

Okay, if you were to describe yourself as a fruit or vegetable, what would that fruit or vegetable be and why?

If I were a vegetable, I’d have to go jalapeño-

Woah!  I’ve never had that answer before.

A little spicy.  I can give some sass sometimes-

Well yeah, Coach Autumn and the state of Florida have both experienced your sass today!

So jalapeño on the vegetable side, and I’d have to go with a lime on the fruit side.  Still a little acidic, but very bright.

We’re building a little Ty salsa here, I love it!  Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?

I think I’d go with the horse-sized duck.  A hundred duck-sized horses?  Have you ever seen eight-legged freaks?  Don’t see it, it is a nightmare.  There are super-sized spiders, but there are also small ones and they just crawl all over you.  And a horse-sized duck, I think that’d be kind of funny with his little flippers!

Do you know how long a duck’s penis is???

*eruption of laughter*

Ducks have like the longest penis relative to its body size in the animal kingdom!

Well I learned something today!

Go home and google duck penis!

I’m not going to do that, but I’ll take your word for it.

Fair enough.  Finally, do you have any questions you would pose to anyone in the Shop community?  You’ve already asked one: Autumn, why hasn’t Ty got the invite yet?

That is an important one.  I almost feel like I need to ask Stormie and Autumn for an argument as to why they should be my favorite.  And then in fairness, you’d have to throw Bean into the equation.

I think that is an excellent question.

I don’t know if I can ask this, but for Dane- where does he see The Shop going in the next five years?  Does he see more Shops in Austin?  Does he see it going beyond Austin?

I’m going to ask him that and I can almost guarantee that he’ll find a way to fudge out of it, but there is at least a 2% chance that he gives something resembling an authentic answer.

Even a clue would be great- even in a haiku form.

Do you have any parting words of wisdom, shout-outs, or haikus since you just mentioned them?

I guess as a personal thing, don’t be afraid to talk to me- I’m shy but I will be social.  

We’re starting to get an uptick in new members now that people are getting vaccinated.  Do you have one piece of advice you would give a brand new member if you were sitting across from them?

Stick with it.  It was tough for me and I swam at a high level.  The biggest thing that people don’t realize if you don’t come from a background of working out is that things don’t happen overnight.  And also, working out is a small part of your life so don’t take it too seriously.  I always say to people at work, if you’re not having fun and laughing then why are you doing this?

I guess on that note, do you have any words for Keith?  To help him get over you not sharing that playlist?

I’d say, “Hang in there.  Don’t give up.  I’ll get back to you-” *starts laughing*

But don’t hold your breath!

*still laughing*  Don’t hold your breath!  But I would say care a little less.  Stress relief isn’t just working out.  Working out actually is a form of stress on the body.  So you have to do something that actually is zero stress- whether that is meditation or yoga, just making time for yourself.  I’ve been trying to do a better job of that.

That’s good!  That point doesn’t come up so often.  You hear “just stick with it”, but you don’t hear that it is okay to find the point of no stress.

You need to find a way to disconnect.  Like *pointing to the sign for Square Root Kava Bar* you could sit there and think why did they choose that color of green?  What were they thinking?  But that is why I tell people to not care so much.  That green sign has no impact on you.  Maybe the green sign was a bad example-

It is clearly getting you really fired up!  Wow!

It was a poor choice, but even those little things- it is a good thing for your mind to not be as judgmental, but it also makes the world a better place.  If someone is wearing green, that is their choice- 

Do you not like my green shirt Ty?

I was about to say!  It isn’t the shirt, I was just trying to find an example!  I think everyone can care less about what other people are doing; focus on yourself and make time for yourself- I think that is super important for your wellbeing.  

Ty, I agree.  This has been an impressive, surprising, and delightful occasion for me- I hope you feel some of those things.

See!  This is the perfect example- you talk to me and you open up to me and I open up to you.  Deep down below this hard exterior there is this little teddy bear, it is a smaller teddy bear than Keith, but it is there!

ANSWERS TO TY’S QUESTIONS

1. When I asked Bean, Stormie and Autumn to make the case for who should be Ty’s favorites, they agreed to a little quiz in order to determine this.  Each of them privately sent me answers to the following questions about Ty and I ran it by him to see who came closer:

Favorite TV show?
Favorite hobby?
Favorite drink?
Favorite color?
Favorite type of music?

And the winner was????  

Well, Bean came off the top rope with a defiant non-answer that garnered imminent respect from our darling Spotlight Athlete, but coach Autumn was so close in her answer that he gave the rose to her.  Looks like our prodigal coach has officially announced her come back!


2. Where does Dane see the Shop in five years?

D: In 5 years there is a strong chance the Shop has maintained a strategic trajectory of 6 (or 7) new members per year, so we’ll likely have expanded. Also, by then, we’ll probably be invested in that mirror technology thing (finally) which lets our coaches coach from home but be projected onto the mirror in front of members at the Shop.. We’ll probably have like 5 of those things. Oh, and I can’t leave out the fact that my wife and I had kids for a reason – I won’t be around, but my children will be. They’ll be 11, 10 and 6 and they’ll operate the business to keep a youthful feel to the place. Duke will be a DJ at paleontology exhibits though, and traveling the country on occasion. I’ll have to fill in while he’s away, so I won’t be “gone” gone.

I enjoyed this question and your entire interview, Ty! Thank you for being a part of the Shop!

What Jack Brown lacks in shoes and a shirt, he makes up for in homespun charisma and a comfy pickup truck bed.  We sat down in that generously-sized pickup truck bed parked just outside of the Hyde Park Shop with a six pack of Karbach Light Circus Hazy IPAs for a late March interview.  With a class in progress, this rollicking interview lent itself to a number of charming cameos.

Coach Chad:  Take it Jack, what did you just say?

Jack Brown:  I did just get back from Vegas.

How are you feeling?

Not ideal, not great.  But for me if I don’t (come to workout) I feel worse.  And this was a good one.  I love power cleans.

That is great.  Why do you like power cleans?

I used to not like power cleans- it was the hardest thing in the world for me to catch it lower.  Once Keith gave me some tips and tricks, I realized that once you do it right, because it is such a technical lift, that it is so much fun when you hit that max lift.  So many things have to come together.

Just like in life-

Fabiola Londoño, DBS member and former Spotlight Athlere, stopping by: What is this beautiful gathering here?

We’re doing a little Athlete Spotlight interview, just like the one you and I had not too long ago.

I see!  But we didn’t have this wonderful truck to be sitting on top of.

Well, we’re always innovating!

Cheers!  That is fantastic.  Well enjoy your interview.

You enjoy your class!  So I asked the other coaches if they had questions they wanted me to ask of you-

Did the shoe thing come up?

It did- it was the main thing that came up.  I’d like to go ahead and address the fact that you don’t wear shoes or a shirt to class.  I want to get that out of the way because I suspect it is the least interesting thing about you, just the most visible thing.  Briefly, how did that start?

So I’ve never been one of those people who likes taking my shirt off for a workout, but last summer I took it off one day in class and I just kept doing it.  I think a big part of it is I come 5-6 times a week and I just go through shirts.  I liked not having to (do all that laundry).  My first knee surgery Sophomore or Junior year, I was working out with one of my brother’s friends who was becoming a trainer.  He would coach me to take off my shoes for lifts and so I got comfortable with that-

Hey buddy!

Dane Krager, owner of DBS and America’s favorite dad, just pulled up next to us in his truck: Hey guys!

Do you need a beer to take with you buddy?

Are they good?

You haven’t had these yet?

No I haven’t.  I can really have one?

On average we go through a total of 4 during these interviews.

Thanks!  I’ll be here for a little longer, so if you need me to go on a beer run- wait, you’re recording this?

*laughing*  You’re adorable Dane!

(Dane drives off shaking his head… so back to Jack) So the shoe thing started out just with lifting.  I got the go ahead from Keith to go shoeless during Strength Class and then I started just doing it during Fusion too.  For some reason it has always just been more comfortable.

That’s good.  We’ve addressed the elephant in the room- that is the origin story of Shoeless Jack.  Coach Autumn was curious about your experience working with your father’s Nonprofit, Miracle League.  You’ve been involved with that for a long time right?

Yeah, my parents started the branch here in Austin when I was around 7 or 8 years old.  So I was too young to be a buddy, one of the kids who help the younger kids run the bases-

Can you give a quick overview of Miracle League?

Yeah, it is a baseball league for disabled children.  There are many throughout the country and it is different from regular baseball because you don’t keep score and also the field is a synthetic rubber- easier for wheelchairs and walkers and things like that.  Most places get a volunteer base to be the buddies, but what we do is get middle school and high school kids to volunteer.  We think that is a little more fun because it helps the kids to feel like they are playing with their peers.

Coach Beth Felker wandering over:  It looks like you two are rednecks.  I like the chair in the back of the truck.

This is my chair for when I go to Zilker in the morning and let Isla run around.

I like that she is putting her nose in my ear! *yep, Isla was actually putting her nose in Beth’s ear!

This is all going to make it in the transcript Beth- we’re recording.

Oh, sorry!

No, just go ahead and tell us where the bodies are buried…

No!!!

They’re under the tires aren’t they?  

*Beth meanders back to the class and reassumes the mantle of coach* 

So we have a field up in Northwest Austin and I’ve been a part of it since they started.  Buddies have to be at least 13, so I started out announcing games over the PA system that we had donated.

Miracle League is a phenomenal organization and I cannot shout them out enough; one of the coolest things we have done as an organization was working with you guys.

We cannot wait to have you come back.  Recording this or not, you are without a doubt the most energetic and enthusiastic group that we had.  

We did rails of cocaine before we came out-

Well then do it again, as long as it isn’t on the property.

So how did growing up around that influence you?

I’m still a part of it- I coach one of the teams and I’m a part of the board.  I run our charity golf tournament.  At first, it felt like “oh man, I’ve got 7-9 hours on my Saturday taken away from me fourteen times a year”.  But there are so many moments that you see out on the field that are, for lack of a better word, miracle moments.  So it quickly changed from being something I had to do to something I was eager to do.  It made me appreciate what I had in my life and also how just doing something little can be a lot for someone else.  The kids love Miracle League, but the parents love it just as much.  

I’ve seen a kid walk for only the second time in his life- and I was calling the game!  He was in a full wheel chair and he got to third base.  It was the last game, the sun was going down, it was like a movie.  My mom comes up to me- I always say that my dad is the president of Miracle League, but my mom is the boss– and told me the kid was going to try walking from third base to home and that it would be only the second time in his life that he has walked.  So he stops his wheelchair and his mom and dad are standing at home plate and he just starts walking.  I was trying to call the game and it was one of those moments where you look around and not one person wasn’t crying.

That is a beautiful story.  So it obviously had a profound effect on you just in terms of the value of helping other people.  You’re obviously someone who has physical activity and fitness as a big part of your life; how did an experience like that inform the way that you view fitness?

Yeah, I think there are two parts to that.  You see some of the things these kids can do with their limitations and you just think, “I’m never going to complain about what I have to do”.  When I was born, my umbilical cord was tied in a knot and I was fine, but I had to do a bunch of physical therapy and (my parents) didn’t think I would ever play any contact sports.  So that coupled with Miracle League gave me a mindset that it is never as hard as you think it is.  Having had four knee surgeries, I miss (working out) when I’m not able to do it.  

So you have a deeper appreciation for fitness because you understand that it isn’t a given thing.

I’m not taking it for granted and I don’t do it without proper guidance because I know it can be taken away.  There were kids in Miracle League who weren’t born with a disorder- something happened to them and that is scary as all get-out.  Working out is a mental escape as much as a physical thing.  It helps me get through my day mentally.

So what is a day like for shoeless Jack Brown?

Most of my life is consumed by this Isla dog, this always in your face and very needy black lab.

She is a very well-behaved dog.

She’s a sweetheart, but she does love attention; I get to wake up with this one literally dive-bombing into my body.  I usually take her out to Zilker in the morning- she gets to run her energy out and I get to take in the day slowly.  I get to work with my dad- a bit of a curse and a blessing.  My dad is mentoring me and training me to become a residential appraiser.  His office is a few blocks from here which is nice.  Then depending on the day it is either Fusion or Strength and once that wraps up it is a whole lot of nothing.  Just going home and relaxing.

What does relaxation look like for you?

I used to do a lot of going to Zilker and playing spike ball, but coming back from my knee surgery it is more like hanging out with my roommate and watching some television.  I love to just go home and relax during the week- there is normally enough on the agenda during the weekend.  It isn’t an eventful day.

Do you wear shoes and a shirt at home?

Shoes, never.  I don’t wear them at the office- I have an emergency pair of flip-flops in my truck just in case I forget to bring shoes when I drive somewhere (which is quite often).  A shirt?  That is a toss-up.  At my office I have a Dane’s hoodie on my chair and I wear that every day.  At home, I’ll put on a shirt if my roommate’s girlfriend comes over.

Very kind of you Jack- if you didn’t put on a shirt then she would just instantly fall in love with you.

Exactly!   I don’t want to break any hearts or anything.  I try to be a gentleman when I can.

I’m intrigued by your father also being your mentor and boss.  Can you talk a little bit more about that relationship?

I’ve been working for him for almost a year now and it has definitely changed a lot.  We’re a lot closer now which I think is awesome; I don’t take for granted being able to see my dad every day.  We definitely do have different ideas on how to do things-

Like I’ve never seen Steve Brown shirtless-

Exactly!  He is a very big shoes and shirt guy.  For me, it is a lot about figuring out how to work his way- he’s looking to retire soon, so he isn’t going to change.  I get to pick his brain and, as bad as it might sound, learn how not to do things.  And he knows it!  He is showing me everything he possibly can.

So he’s showing you things that he has done wrong?

Yes!  There will be times when he will say that he wishes he had done something different.

That is an incredibly valuable teaching tool.  I already like your father a lot and this makes me respect him even more.

I got very lucky.  (Having my mentor be my father) is making the learning curve just shoot up for me because I get so much more hands on experience.  So it is a balance of dad and boss.  We still butt heads, but I feel so lucky.

How about sharing a gym with him?

This might surprise anyone who has ever shared a gym with their dad, but it is absolutely my favorite thing.  My brother had been working out at Dane’s and eventually he got my dad to try it.  So I went with him and signed up immediately.  I loved it here anyway, but I also get to hold my dad accountable in coming and when he is in class.  I enjoy having that ability to make sure he is taking care of himself.  It is also cool to just sit there and joke with my dad.

Because you two do give one another a hard time-

Oh yeah!  If I could have my whole family come here and work out at the same time I would.  It would probably be bad because my brother and I get really competitive, but I love being able to see my dad commit to something and take care of himself.  I’d love to see him come to class even more.

If I may editorialize, Steve Brown does work hard when he’s in class.  He does a very good job!

Exactly.  It is really cool to see someone his age doing stuff that my friend’s can’t do.  Isla, don’t put your paw up!

What is with the paw?  Is she not supposed to do that?

She tries to slowly climb up on you without you noticing.  If you’re not careful she will be in your lap with her front paws on your shoulders.

She’s adorable and this is going to make for some great content.  Okay, I think this is a good time to segue into some more random territory.  Where did the name Isla come from?

*sheepish giggle* I was backpacking in Scotland and we went to this family style hotel in the highlands.  There was this like do-it-all woman, she’d check you in, she’d bartend, everything.  I may or may not have had a very serious crush on her in the two or three days we were there.  Her name was Isla and she knew her whiskey better than anyone I ever met.  I thought her name was great, so I asked my mom to get the spelling of her name so I could add it to my dog name list-

Wait, you were already thinking about getting a dog?

Oh, me getting a girl black lab was something I knew since I was a child.  When I was going to physical therapy, my grandma trained one of her dogs for physical therapy and it was a girl black lab.  I was very close with that dog.  So I fell in love with the name- I may or may not have fallen in love with the bartender for a short time- but the name just stuck.  I thought it was an original name, but then I came to Dane’s one day and Islay #1 was there.

And who does #1 belong to?

*grumbles* Rimas…

Do you feel a little bit of antipathy towards him?

Nah, I think it is the coolest thing.  Maybe I’d feel antipathy if Islay #1 wasn’t just the sweetest dog- I mean, that’d be a misuse of an awesome name!  But they both love each other so it is awesome to watch them play.

And at least the spelling  is different.  Alright, based on this scenario I’m going to tweak another question I often ask.  Let’s say you are in a karaoke bar with Isla the Scottish bartender and you want to impress her by singing the sexiest karaoke song you can imagine.  What song do you choose to sing?

I’ve only done karaoke once and that was “Pour Some Sugar on Me” so I’m not doing that.  It was a bad choice.  What is that Brian McKnight song, Step One? *actually “Back at One” is the title if we want to be technical dear readers*.  It is romantic, but not too romantic.  I don’t know why that crossed my mind- I can’t remember the last time I heard that song.

Keeping on the music thread, if you were to have a theme song play every time you walked into a place like The Shop, what would it be?

Oooo…  I would go with “Life’s Been Good” by The Eagles *actually a Joe Walsh solo track dear readers*.  I feel like it would put everyone in a good mood and would be a reminder that life has been good so far.

And it would also be a song that your dad wouldn’t bitch about.

Right!  If dad wasn’t in class, I might do something like NWA and really get it going.

I think one of your dad’s favorite pastimes is complaining about the music that coaches play in class.  What music have you played that Steve Brown has complained about?

Anything that was ever popular with anyone my age.  

That is great.  I also wanted to give you the opportunity to ask any questions of anyone in the community: coaches, members, Dane, anyone.

I did have a general question for the coaching staff.  If there was a coach only workout, what would that look like?    What is the dynamic?  Who is getting everyone going?  Who is coaching the other coaches?  Who is getting competitive?

That is brilliant!  We haven’t done it in the past year because of Covid, but we have historically tried to get everyone together for a workout every couple months.  So I think what I’m going to do is poll all of the coaches on the mini questions that you have put forth in your response questions.  *Read on below for the answers from the DBS coaching staff dear readers!*

That would be awesome.  I worked out with John once and it was one of the most brutal workouts I have had.  I need to stop asking you guys which weights I should use because you all suggest stuff that is heavier than I want.

Full disclosure, I don’t do this with most members, but if I have happened to have done a workout earlier in the day or week, and then am coaching you later, I love challenging you to approach the workout the same way.  You initially have a skeptical look and then you get that “let’s do this” attitude.

That is one of the number one things I look for in class- I want to be pushed.  I grew up playing football, so I want to be pushed and just see what happens.  It’s gonna suck as soon as I hear it, but I know it is going to be a great workout.  All the coaches do it to me.  I love it.

Any shoutouts to other members?

Shoutouts to individual members is hard, but the Friday 11:45am class is one of my favorite crowds because it is such an energetic group.  Like this (workout) is going to suck, but it is going to suck together.  You get a lot of laughs and you get both Islas.  The 5:15pm Strength class- they know who they are.  We might have a little too much fun in that class.  There are so many people; I don’t want to name names and then forget people.  Everyone I interact with is so welcoming and that is what I love about The Shop.  That isn’t the case everywhere- this has been the most friendly group of people.  And on top of that, the coaches are above and beyond anything I’ve experienced- and I’ve gone to a lot of different gyms.

For the coaches, it is because Dane has blackmail on all of us that he threatens to release if our performance slips-

Now you have blackmail on him.

Finally!  Handing him that beer while recording was the leverage that I needed!  These interviews are a silly thing, but I really do believe that it is one of the most important things that I do.  They give the community a chance to see one another in their entirety and not just as someone who works out.  So as a Spotlight Athlete, do you have any words of wisdom or thoughts.  Say I was someone new to working out, what would you say to me?

I would say just to remember that you’re starting in the same spot everyone else here started at, so everyone here knows that feeling and they are going to make it easier for the next person.  I’ve been doing these kinds of workouts for a long time and if a coach doesn’t say something to me and correct me during class, I feel like I’m doing something wrong.  Don’t be embarrassed, just dive into it.  You’ll quickly realize that, yeah physically it is great, but it helps a lot with mental health.  If you’re new, the feeling after class is always going to be better than the feeling before.

Jack.  That was a good interview.

ANSWERS TO JACK’S QUESTIONS:

Most likely to coach other coaches?

Dane Krager!  (answered by Stormie and John)

Most Competitive?

Beth Reyburn (first answered by Beth Felker, but unanimously agreed upon with Mark getting some acknowledgement as a runner-up)

Acting Stupid With Mark

Since the beginning of the pandemic, all of our athlete spotlight interviews have been conducted outside and socially distanced.  In most cases, this has meant joyful use of the turf at either of the Shop locations, but here I actually joined Juan and Fabiola (and their chickens<!>) in their spacious backyard on a brisk December afternoon.  As always, they made me feel immediately at home in their home, providing a pleasant flight of beers to taste in addition to their spirited repartee.  That is the secret sauce about these two- they make people feel at home; they do it in their house, across borders, and whenever they are in class at Dane’s Body Shop.

Coach Chad: Hmmm… Are the Manor members different than the Hyde Park folks?  They aren’t, they are the same.  They’ve had quieter coaches over there historically- Stormie and Mitch, great coaches, but not as loud as Beth or myself.  So members take on the qualities of their coaches.  Now that Bean is over there more and I’m over there more, those members are going to start behaving like jackasses just like the two of you!

Juan: *Big laugh

Fabs:  Okay, that makes a lot of sense.

Pull up Victoria Harvey’s interview on the website- she was the first Manor athlete I interviewed after coming back to The Shop and she is a great example of people at Manor who speak up and let their personality (and baked goods) shine through.

Fabs:  I think it is already happening.  We were in Strength class the other day at Hyde Park and there were some guys who I think came over from Manor.  You know (Coach) Mark is always acting so stupid and I started acting stupid with Mark- so we were dancing around.  After 30 minutes of acting stupid with Mark, they started interacting with us.  They weren’t acting stupid with us, but they were interacting more.  It felt like these were Manor members who were catching the vibe of Hyde Park, so we just need to start doing stupid things here. 

*laughing*  And with these interviews, the title is almost always a line from the interview that comes up and the title of this interview might be, We Just Need to Start Doing Stupid Things Here!  Okay so one of the things I will do for these interviews is ask coaches if they have any questions for the people I interview, but with everyone at home for the holiday, I asked Max Benham, a member I will be dog-sitting for, if he had any questions for you.  He posed the following: when you are in a workout and it gets hard, how do you cope with that?

Juan:  For me it is counting.  I will do percentages: so we have to do ten of something and I will do two and then think, I only did two?  Then I reframe it as “man, I already did twenty percent!”  It sounds better right?

Fabs:  For me, the first thing comes to mind is I just ignore (the workout) and I just don’t worry about what they are asking me to do.  It is kind of just like I let it go- so I’m not dealing with it, I’m just hearing it and ignoring it.

Those are both valid mindsets.

Fabs:  I’m not proud of it… Keith just told me I need to do 20% of my body weight?  Okay, I will pretend I weigh 100lbs!

That is truly brilliant.  With that same idea, how do you use one another in a workout?  You’re obviously a couple, so what are your interactions like?

Fabs:  Juan is always trying to make me do the (movements) correctly.  I’m always asking coaches, mostly Beth, to tell him he is not the coach!  Scolding him and calling him out.  I think that is part of the interaction, but now (with Covid procedures) we have to clean all the equipment, so it works really nice because I can just steal all his weight and don’t have to use new ones.

So his max working weight is your warm up weight is what you are saying?

Fabs: Exactly!

Juan: And before (the pandemic) for partner workouts, I would always workout with Mark right?  We wouldn’t partner with one another.

So Covid has brought the two of you closer together?

Juan: *ruefully*  I guess so…

That is really touching!

Fabs: *laughing* Ooooo…

In what other ways is it different working out during a pandemic?

Juan: It is the schedule.  We put (class) on the schedule and we come together.  Before, if it was just her coming without me or me coming without her, we might not go.  But since it is the both of us, we always go.

Fabs:  Yeah, sometimes (one of us) would be like “I kind of don’t want to go” and the other would be like, “we need to go”.  So it just helps to keep going.  The other thing that is nice during the pandemic when he is working out with me is that I feel like I can break just a little bit of the rules.  Like I can jump into his square and nobody is going to say anything to me about it!  Obviously I’m not breaking the social distancing because he is my husband, but I get to feel like I am doing something a little bit wrong!  It feels good to break rules and feel normal.

Being a little transgressive!   I love it.  So I’m eventually going to ask you why you make the time to workout even though you are busy professionals, but we’re going to put a pin in that because I want to first ask you both briefly what it is you do for work?  Tell our readers- because I know, but I think it is fascinating.

Fabs:  I am finishing my PhD, so I am working on my dissertation-

And your focus is?

Autism. I’m providing therapy for low income families that do not speak english in the U.S. on how to teach their kids with autism.  

That is an excellent distillation.  And Juan?

Juan:  What do I do?

Fabs:  He’s the Marie Kondo of data.

The Marie Kondo of Data?  *howling*

Juan:  There we go- that is probably one of the best explanations.  

Fabs:  He brings joy to Data.  He always says, “how do you make data sexy?”

Juan: *laughing*  So my title is I’m the principal scientist of a company called “data.world”.  I joined the company because they acquired my company, so technically I get to do whatever I want and what I want to do provides income for the company.  I help drive the vision of the company, I am in front of customers when they need a scientist in the room to show off the cool things we are doing- my life is all about how to understand data, what data means.  That is the business side and from the research side I collaborate with universities and do research on different aspects of data management.

Fabs:  He says, “No BS conversations about data!”

Juan: Oh! So I started a podcast with one of my buddies from work.  It is called “Catalogue and Cocktails” it is an honest, no BS, non-salesy conversation about enterprise data management.

I think that is an excellent plug.  Where can readers find this podcast?

Juan:  Wherever you listen to podcasts!

Listen and subscribe- five star ratings!  Coming back to my prior question, with those being fairly big jobs, why do you take the time to workout?

Juan: *zero hesitation* So I can eat and drink!  I have a cellar full of wine, beer, and whiskey.

*laughing*  That is fantastic.  And that is a no BS answer!  And Fabiola?

Juan: And, by the way, to feel stronger and healthier.

Fab:  Yeah yeah yeah!  This will not answer your question in particular, but I think it will give context why I ignore what the coaches say sometimes.  I feel like I push myself a lot during the day to be the best therapist that I can- it is a lot of being the best that I can be for families, so when I arrive at The Shop I just want to feel free like I don’t have to be my best.  Just to be whatever I want to be that day and no one will care.

That is where you give yourself permission to not have pressure on yourself.

Fabs: Exactly!  It is a relaxing moment.  I’m working out and it is great because I can get energy out and I don’t need to think about anything.  If I do a lot of work I will receive a “GREAT JOB!”, but if I’m not I will get a “YOU CAN DO IT FABIOLA!”. It is a nice place to be free.

That is a great way to put it-  I think that is part of why you two have been selected.  You bring a levity and a celebratory presence when you’re in class.  With that, something that is always true of Athletes of the Season is that they have relationships with people at The Shop.  Obviously you two work out together, but could you talk about any of the relationships you have with other people around The Shop?

Juan:  Can we start with you?

Fabs: *big laughter*

That could be dangerous, but go for it!

Fabs:  It’s a big one right?

Juan:  We kind of know you Chad Ramsey.  For those who don’t know, Chad married us.

A responsible person discloses their financial backers, so as an interviewer I should disclose that I presided over their wedding- I am a little invested in these two.

Fabs:  You flew to Colombia to join us-

Juan: And Also joined us on our honeymoon along with (coaches) Autumn and Mark.

So there is actually a high degree of you two fraternizing with coaches and other members.

Juan:  When we started, there would be weeks when we would only see you and Autumn for classes-

Fabs: The last class of the evening.  Then Mark-

Juan: Mark would always attend the 7:30pm class.  And we now know that this whole pandemic worked out so that John could cancel the 7:30pm class.

Fabs:  He’s going to use this interview to complain that the 7:30pm class is gone!

That is the power of your platform!

Fabs: But to say something positive about John, Pablo (another member) one day asked him how much he would need to pay for Juan and I to be Athlete of the Season and then the next day we were on the board!  I don’t know if John made it happen or someone else did, but it was after Pablo tried to buy our names on the board.

Juan: That 7:30pm class was smaller, but it was always the same group of people-

Fabs:  There was Elena (Bollas) and Luke (Barney), Cameron (Hart), Dan and Brittany (Mottola)-

Dan and Brit?  You guys are pulling out some classics here.  

Juan:  And in Strength class we hang out with Natalie (Cincotta) and Mark.  

I will say that the 7:30pm class was always a really special one for me.  When I moved away in 2017- I don’t want to even talk about those dark times-

Fabs:  Hums the “Imperial March” from Star Wars

My last 7:30pm class was one I’ll never forget- there was a perfect sunset.  There was something about the familiarity of that group.  I think there was a feeling that everyone has had their day already, so no one is rushing off or thinking about what they have to do next.

Fabs:  Another thing I love about the last class is seeing the board erased.  Seeing the first section get erased, it felt like “I have accomplished something today”.  

Juan:  Autumn would make competitions to decide who would get to erase each section.  Yeah and the other thing is- wait, what was the question?

Fabs: Connections we have made at The Shop!

Juan:  Right Right!  And then the other thing that happened was meeting Chris (Santini) and Pablo (Mussetti)-  

Fabs:  This is a great story.

Juan: We were at a Steak & Wine Night and I met this guy Chris and he was not a member, but we just started talking because he works in tech, so we were talking about that for like an hour.  Then suddenly Fabiola is talking to somebody else-

Fabs:  I was talking to Pablo and I remember he said something like “I might leave early because my partner always likes to leave early”.  So we went to find Chris and he seemed super happy.  So they didn’t leave early and we were like the last ones at the party.

Juans:  That is how we met, and then we realized we were neighbors and so we started hanging out.  When the pandemic started, everyone was organizing their bubbles and we decided to be a bubble together.  

Fabs:  It has been something that makes us feel better during the pandemic, knowing we can walk to their house and drink wine with someone else.  We became family during the pandemic.

Juan:  So sanity during the pandemic was possible because we got to hang out with Chris and Pablo and we met them at The Shop.

That is adorable.  I’ve spoken with the two of you about maintaining sanity during the pandemic- do you have any silly things that you have done to stay sane during the pandemic?  Like Fabiola, you got chickens right?

Fabs:  Now I am the crazy chicken lady, but it makes me really happy.  And Juan has a bar in our house.  So those are the two things-

And just to clarify, we’re talking real chickens right.

Fabs:  We have four- we had five, but one was stolen by the raccoon-

Juan:  She “disappeared”; we’re still looking for her, so if anyone has any information.

She’s on a milk carton.

Fabs:  We do silly things like knitting sweaters for the chickens and teaching them how to swing on a swing.

That is great!  And the bar?  What was the inspiration for that?

Juan:  One of the things you miss is hanging out with people and you miss hanging out with people at a bar.  So you can start to recreate some of that, so why not?

Fabs:  It is open air, so it is safe.

Juan:  We call it Bar-Barella because we also miss going out dancing at Barbarella.

Again, disclosure to the readers- I have gone out dancing with you two at Barbarella many times.  What attracted you to Thursday nights there?

Juan:  Grits n Gravy!  The music on Thursday nights is soul and funk and disco- The Beegees, James Brown, Aretha Franklin.  Every song you listen to, you want to move your body to it.

Fabs:  It is also not that many people and you always see the same people- weird people dancing by themselves or dancing in groups and it was nice to just be free.

Just to be one of the weird people?

Fabs: Yeah!  And to see the same people like- “Hey, there is that guy in a skirt who always dances in the same corner” or “There are the two girls who dance a lot but never with anyone else!”

Kind of like Cheers– where everybody knows your name.

Fabs:  Just like Cheers!  And the bartender actually knows our names because he knows Juan really well-

Juan: Well yeah, I’ve been going every Thursday for a couple years, so yeah.

What else do you two miss since the pandemic?

Juan:  Well, traveling.

Of course!  Can you indulge us in some nostalgia and talk about a highlight in travel over the past couple years?

Fabs:  To start with, half of the year he wouldn’t be in Austin.  That will give you a concept of how often he was traveling.

Follow up question: will you be able to maintain your gym regularity when you start traveling for work again?

Juan: Yeah… I think we were only able to become Athletes of The Season because of the pandemic-

Fabs:  Maybe with the online classes you will be able to stay more consistent.

Juan:  Yeah, if they stay- so don’t take them away John!  I said early on that I thought the virtual stuff is going to be awesome for people who travel.  That is just another reason to be a part of this community.  I was thinking about it and I could probably still take classes if I was in Europe.  I usually travel 6 months out of the year- 150,000 miles per year on average.  Highlights?  Going to Japan was a highlight.  Fabiola actually proposed to me.  I had organized a trip to Japan and she organized this scavenger hunt proposal the day before-

Fabs:  One of the stops was The Shop.

Can you tell the readers a bit about the scavenger hunt?

Fabs:  Yeah!  For a year I was planning this proposal-

Juan: She really knew that she wanted to marry me.

Fabs:  Yeah, and the 4th step was to get a clue at The Shop.  And I got him wasted before the proposal.

Well it was clearly an effective strategy!

Fabs: *laughing*  Yes, yes it worked!

Juan:  We’re still together!  So, we went to New Zealand last year.  I surprised my Dad for his 70th birthday with a trip to Europe.  He was living in Boca Raton, so I flew in and just showed up claiming that I was stranded with a delayed layover, but I told my mom what I was doing.  So we had dinner and watched a movie then went to bed.  The next morning, I was getting ready to go to the airport and I gave him a little present and it was a passport and tickets. Then I told him he had a half hour to pack because we’re going to Turkey right now.

That is baller!

I had meetings all over and he just came along.  

I think that is very revelatory of the kind of person you are, for better or for worse.

Juan:  I just love to travel.  It is so amazing that you can just get in a metal tube and then 5-10 hours later you are in a different world.  It is magic.  

Fabs:  I think Juan has this ability where, if you don’t like traveling, if you go with Juan you will love it.  He enjoys it so much that he will make you enjoy it.

I can attest to that, having tagged along on your honeymoon!  Now Fabiola, I know you like travel as well, but you are a fabulous home-builder.  I just want you to talk a bit about your love of plants; it is so intrinsic to who you are.  Where did that come from?

Fabs:  I think it all comes from my mom.  If you give my mom a present, she is the perfect person to find a new place for that present.  If you gave her a blender, she would be like “oh this is beautiful, this will be perfect for your Aunt“.  The only thing she won’t give away is a plant.  So for my whole life, there were two things you could give her- a plant or a pot.  So everyday at 6 o’clock we would gather together in the garden to drink coffee and would walk around talking about which plants were happy.  We were always talking about whether the plant had joy or not- *looks at her beer* now I’m getting drunk with this!  But the conversation was always about whether the plant was happy.  My mom has the power to make any garden look beautiful.  So now, the thing that connects me with my family is my plants.  I think Juan is now starting to understand joy in plants.

Can you give the readers one tip for plants?

Just find plants that fit in the environment that you are in.

I love that.  You confessed to not having read other interviews Fabiola, so this is where I gain the high ground on you!  If you had read the other interviews, you would know that I always ask some weird random questions to round things out.  First question- we talked about Grits n Gravy music.  For both of you, if you had a theme song that played when you walked into a room, what is that song?

Fabs:  Oh Chad, I think you should just pause the recording because this is going to take me forever!

We’ll just sit in agonizing silence and let you regret not having prepared better.

Fabs: There is a song that comes to my mind, but I know that it is not the right answer *starts singing Tequila by The Champs*

Juan: *roaring with laughter*

Well I think that has to be the right answer!  I love that answer.

Juan:  On my Spotify wrap up list, Dance Monkey (by Tones and I) was my most played song.

And it is on my playlist for classes at The Shop thanks to you!

Fabs:  Awww… Chad, you should come back (to the evening classes), no one plays that song!  *yelling at my recording device* JOHN, DANE, bring Chad back!

*laughing*  That is great, if you were to give yourself a super power and create a superhero around that power, what would your superhero alter ego be?

Fabs:  The first thing that came to my mind, but it would be terrible-

Is it also tequila?

Fabs:  *laughing*  No… what is the name of that film Juan?  Espada en la Piedra?

Juan:  The Sword in the Stone.

Fabs:  The Magician, Merlin, wins (the wizard’s duel) by becoming a virus. But I don’t want to be a virus right now!  It is just the first thing that came to my mind.

Juan:  I’d say the ability to fly, but I like the journey on a plane.

And if I may editorialize, I love looking at your Instagram posts of food porn from 30,000 feet in the air.

Juan:  Oh I am very lucky to get to fly comfortably.  One of my favorite quotes is Blaise Pascal, “I’m sorry I wrote a long letter, if I had more time I would have written a shorter letter”.  So a super power would be being able to summarize things in a crisp manner.

Fabs:  Okay, I have my power!  I don’t want to be a virus because I don’t think people would want to be my friend.  I think I would want the power to understand why people do what they do.

Those are both fantastic answers.  So this is a variation on a question I ask in solo interviews.  If someone was to make a movie of your life, Juan who would play Fabs and Fabs who would play Juan?

Juan:  Oh god…

Fabs: *flounces her curly black hair* Elaine!

Juan:  *laughing*  Julia Louis Dreyfus?  I can actually see that.

Fabs:  But that is not fair that I answered your question Juan.  I don’t have an answer to who would be you.

Juan:  I’m stealing your answer.

It would be really solid casting.

Fabs:  So I would say Chad!  You’re an actor right?  You would be perfect.

Maybe that is the whole reason I am here- the whole reason I am in your life.  I am doing research on you Juan!

Juan:  Well in that case, Coach Mark is playing Fabiola!

Way to bring it back to The Shop!

Fabs:  But you and I both have curly hair and Juan and Mark are both brown!

Okay… so the Juan and Fabiola story starring Mark Hernandez and Chad Ramsey.  Great!  Okay, so if you were to nominate someone from the Shop community to be president of the United States who would it be?

Juan:  Hands down, Chad Ramsey.  Period.

Well that is the whole reason I conduct these interviews, to get that answer!  I’m retiring the question.

Juan:  But that is something I miss doing, talking politics with you.  Your perspectives are well thought out.

Fabs, who are you nominating to run against me?

Fabs:  The first thing I thought would be Becca, Becca would be the perfect president.

My wife?  Oh no!

Fabs:  Yeah!  And you can be the first lady!

Okay…

Fabs: Come on, she knows a lot about education and everyone loves her.  She is fun and educated.

Well, this is going to cause a lot of division in the Ramsey household.  Okay well we should wrap this up.  I like to conclude by asking if you have any words of wisdom?  Any edicts or decrees? Any thoughts to impart as Spotlight Athletes? Now that you are in the pantheon of chosen athletes? 

Juan:  I need to update my CV!

If you haven’t already, you’ve been derelict of duty!  You have both already said some brilliant things in this interview, but any other advice to dispense?

Juan:  Advice I would give is strive for excellence.  You know when you aren’t giving it your best.

Fabs:  Oh no Juan, I never do that at The Shop!  No sorry, Juan you were being serious.  Strive for excellence.  When working with families and kids and therapists I give the advice to not take things personally.  It will make your life easier if you don’t think things are against you or because of you.  It isn’t personal, it is just happening.

That is great!  Now did you guys come up with three questions to pose to the Dane’s Body Shop community?

Fabs:  Will we receive an answer?

Yes!  This is a new segment.  This came up in my interview with Cole Hubbard- I put it out there as a joke and he actually came up with three great questions.  

Juan:  Well there is something with Keith.  I’m having trouble coming up with a question, but I like him and I want to know more about him.

What is up with Keith?  That is a fair question.  I don’t know if anyone has time to solve that conundrum.

Juan:  He’s a fun guy.  He will put music on and just go in the corner-

Fabs: *roaring laughter*  He is a huge guy trying to hide between a little bar and he thinks we cannot see him dancing!  I think my first question would be, is the 7:30pm class coming back?  Is Chad coming back to Coach?  Because the morning is not valid!

Juan:  That is a question I have- how can someone wake up and workout at 5am in the morning?  How can people do this?

Fab:  Yeah!  Do they actually work out or do they just drink coffee?

Juan:  Can someone actually PR a lift at that time?  I find it to be amazing and ridiculous!

Fabs:  I have another question.  It is a stupid question actually.

My favorite kind!

Fabs:  Are we going to have a community plant to take care of?  We had that big (pride of Barbados) plant at the old Hyde Park.  

I will say that we have tried to devise ways to transplant that from the old Shop to the new one.  So we have:

Is 7:30pm coming back?

Coach John answered with a deep breath and a profoundly pensive look toward the setting sun.  As of publication time, he is still silently gazing westward

Do people actually work out at 5am?

Coach Beth Reyburn offers two possible thrilling answers to this query:

Just before 5 am, timers turn on the lights and open the doors. Cutouts of people spring up from the floors and out of the walls. To a passerby, it appears that there is a 5 am class, when in fact, everyone is home snug in their beds. Tom Sennett doesn’t actually exist.

or

5 am warriors are actually all part of the witness protection program and are living under false identities. That’s why they have to work out before anyone else is awake. Now that you’ve figured it out, they will all have to be moved to a new secure location. Tom Sennett doesn’t actually exist.

and

Can we have a community plant?

Coach Dane responded to this one:  “How about a climbing cacti like the Night Blooming Flamingo Cereus Cactus, for the telephone pole out front?”

I love it guys, that was great!