Chad & Jess: You Can Lead a Horse to A Kettlebell, But You Can’t Make Him Swing It

Knowing what big personalities our Spring 2024 Spotlight Athletes have, Chad and Jess knew that they’d have to combine forces if they were to pull off an interview with both of them at the same time.  In our very first two on two interview, we met Sophie Kollaja-Hecht & Phillip Garcia at Easy Tiger in the LINC for a couple Monday happy hour bevvies.  As refreshing as the drinks were, the real treat was gazing into both of their beautiful eyes as they deftly dispensed smut and wisdom!

Coach Chad:  Alright, so it is a little loud in here, so try to speak up a bit.  I do plenty of editing when I  transcribe this, so if there is anything you say that you’d like to be off the record, just let me know.  Like if you accidentally say where the bodies are buried, you can just say “hey Chad, would you please omit where the bodies are buried?” and I will.  Coach Jess, is there any preamble you like to lay out before you interview someone?

Coach Jess:  Uh-uh, I just let it rip!

Chad: Sophie & Phillip, I have had 2 on 1 interviews before, but this is the first time I’ve been a part of a four way.

Jess: An orgy!

Phillip Garcia:  Oh and with pretzels.  Accouterments- awww….

Chad:  How Darling!  I know you two are often in the 6am Strength class together, so my first question is do you guys have a first impression and/or a current impression of the other person?

Sophie Kollaja-Hecht:  I feel like we overlap only because I dip into your schedule.

 Phillip:  I dip into everyone’s schedule!  I’ll go first.  I see you to be very focused but very approachable though; I get the idea that you are there to do work; have a good time, sure, but you’re really there to do work and I appreciate that.

Sophie:  That is correct.  It has taken me a long time to make friends because I come to class and (makes an exaggerated serious face).  And that is funny because I feel the exact opposite about you.

Phillip:  Oh I’m here to play!

Sophie:  You’re like everyone’s best friend.  And also you’re in like really phenomenal shape.

Chad: I think that is a good observation.  It is like Sophie shows up to work and is open to having fun and Phillip shows up to have fun and is open to working hard.`

Sophie:  Yeah, if someone else is already having fun I might just decide to partake.

Phillip:  Whereas I’m just invading people’s spaces!

Chad:  Jess, before I turn it over to you for your first question, what was your first impression of each of them?

 Jess:  Ummm….

 Sophie:  My therapist is going to hear about this tomorrow!

 Phillip:  I’m recording this for my records for MY therapist!

 Jess:  I think my first impression of (Sophie) was when you came to yoga and you were very approachable.  You laughed at my jokes which I appreciate because I AM very funny.

Sophie:  You are very funny!

Chad:  And you know someone is very funny when they have to tell you they are funny.

Jess:  I don’t do stand-up, I do yoga!        

Sophie:  I don’t have a tight five, I coach yoga five times a week!

Jess: YAS!  And then I remembered you started coming to the community workouts and bringing your husband

Chad: Trevor!

Jess:  And you just had a warm presence   

Chad:  I think that is a key point- even though she may not be seeking people out, you can seek her out.  You’re a seekable person- tell your therapist that.

Jess:  (turning to Phillip) And you baby-        

Phillip:  I want you to do it like this close (scoots chair right up next to Jess and almost touches noses with her).       

Jess:  Oh my!  I don’t know, we just have really similar energies- you made a joke and it just resonated.  So yeah I went and followed you on instagram-

Phillip:  And now you know my close friends and you help me figure out what I’m going to wear to Cowboy Disco!  I would say that one of the things I love about Dane’s is the community so why not reap the benefits of that as much as possible- just suck it dry.     

Chad:  I agree, suck it dry.  We have a juicy community, slurp it up baby!            

Jess:  Avoid the pit, you gotta get the peach though.  Ooo my first question- the generic, what brought you to Austin?

Phillip:  I graduated college from Texas State and got a job with a start-up and I had also started dating a guy so it was just like “two birds one scone”.  That was eight years ago.        

Chad:  Did you say “two birds one scone?”                                        

Phillip:  Yes!!!  I’m very much for not hurting animals.  Sue me!     

Jess: And where is home for you?                                                                               

Phillip:  Originally I’m from Louisiana, a small town called “Dixie Inn” but they moved me to Texas because the school system in Louisiana is so bad.  I went to high school in Kerrville.                                                                                                         

Sophie:  So you’re almost a full Texan.

Phillip:  Yes, I’m almost a Republican- just kidding!  Strike that from the record!!!       

Chad:  I’d like the record to reflect that Phillip is wearing a MAGA hat.  So, let’s go Brandon!

                                                                                                                                                Phillip:  No!!!  This is going to ruin me!

Sophie:  If it makes you feel better, on paper I’m a Republican so I can vote in the primaries.  That is the smart move so you can vote for the best option of the people who are actually going to win. And then you end up on Ted Cruz’ email list…

                                                                                                                                                Chad:  Sophie, how’d you get here?

Sophie:  I went to school at UT.  That is the entire story of how I came to Austin from Dallas.  So Dallas to Austin, away for a blip, and back to Austin.

                                                                                                                                                Jess:  Where did you move to?

Sophie:  New York for two years.  It was a lot of fun!    

Chad:  Now when you were at UT, you had one of our coaches as a professor right?  Can you contrast and compare Ryan Romero’s style as a coach versus a professor?    

Sophie:  Yes!  I was his TA also.  Very similar styles- he’s a tough love kind of guy.  Gives it to you straight in a lot of ways.  It really matches.  The hair is the same!           

                                                                                                                                                                   I’m not surprised!  My next question is can you call out for yourself a surprising party trick or talent?  For example I can do the worm.

Sophie:  You CAN?  I’ve never seen that.

                                                                                                                                                Chad:  I’m getting old, but I could do it right now if I wanted to.

Sophie:  I actually do carpentry on the side.  I come from a line of cabinet makers and since buying a house and acquiring power tools, I’ve found that I love carpentry!

Chad:  And Trevor works on cars!

                                                                                                                                                Sophie:  We’ve become very handy people; I don’t know when this happened, but it is a lot of fun.  I redid all the cabinetry in our walk in closet and did this crazy California closet thing.

                                                                                                                                                Phillip:  I don’t have anything that cool!  I was going to say that I can do that thing break dancers do when they have their legs in the air and they go to the other side.  It’s bad- don’t do that.  Sophie, why don’t you just make my casket and bury me in it!  Um I did gymnastics in college, but I haven’t done that in a really long time.

                                                                                                                                              Jess:  Say more!

Phillip:  I competed in gymnastics at Texas State.  I did vault & floor.  It was fun, we competed all around Texas and even had nationals that we traveled to one year.  Great environment and a great way for me to meet people.

                                                                                                                                                Chad:  You’re pretty tall- isn’t that a disadvantage in gymnastics?

                                                                                                                                                Phillip:  It did make some things like rings harder, but I did floor and that is just heaving your body around-

                                                                                                                                                Chad: And you’re good at heaving your body?

                                                                                                                                                Phillip:  Yes exactly!  I can fling it anywhere!

                                                                                                                                                Chad:  That is awesome.  Of all the Olympic sports, I think it is the one that has my admiration most fully.

Sophie:  Yeah, because most people can’t physically do it at all.  Like I watch running and I’m like I can run.  But I watch Simone Biles and think how can anyone even do that.

                                                                                                                                                Jess:  I did gymnastics in high school and saw entirely too many injuries.  My next question is- what IS my next question?  Do you want to go again?

Chad:  I actually can do a follow up question.  Fitness party trick- what is the lift or movement at The Shop that you are most proud of?  Like what is the thing you see on the board and you immediately know you are going to get to show off a bit.

                                                                                                                                                Sophie:  I love a wall ball moment.  Ass to grass, all about the momentum-

                                                                                                                                                Chad: And you DO have exemplary squat depth.

Sophie:  I even got a compliment on my wall ball once!  Someone was like “That was very impressive- you made it look easy.” I was like thank you very much and that was NOT easy!

                                                                                                                                                Phillip:  For me I think it is toes 2 bar.  I love it- controlling your body as it comes down.

                                                                                                                                              Jess:  Alright, I’ve got it.  Ya’ll are out and it is a Saturday afternoon, what can we find you doing?

Sophie: Probably sweating in the yard and terrorizing squash bugs because they’ll eat your fucking zucchini plants.  So I’m out there next to my squash plant with a pair of tweezers drowning them in a bowl of soapy water one by one.

Chad:  Wow, so like squash bug Guantanamo Bay!

                                                                                                                                            Sophie:  Basically!  If not that, then drinking beer. (turning to Phillip) What do YOU do? 

                                                                                                                                            Phillip: You’ll find me near a body of water.  Barton Springs or at a pool or on a boat- particularly in the summer.

Chad:  How do you end up on boats so often?  I feel like I always hear about you on a boat.

Sophie:  That is a good question, do you have a friend who has a boat?

Phillip:  Yeah I have a couple friends with boats, but if you get a big enough party, you can also rent them.

Sophie:  Step 1: have a lot of friends, step 2: get them to split a boat with you.

Chad:  I like that!  We’ve alluded to your beginnings, but when did your relationship with fitness begin?  You can take it two ways- your relationship as an adult or you could take it as like (with a bad southern accent) “when I was five years old, my daddy showed me how to throw a baseball.

Sophie:  You can go!

Phillip:  (imitating Chad’s bad accent) when I was five years old, my daddy showed me how to throw a baseball.  I was raised playing sports and in the gym.  I think one year when I was like nine or ten I asked for a dumbbell for Christmas-

Jess:  WHAT?!?!?

Phillip:  I was pretty much raised in a gym.  When I was in Dixie Inn, we’d go to the field house and workout after practice.  When I was in 6th grade I was on varsity baseball traveling Louisiana with 18 year old men.  It was wild y’all!

Sophie:  I didn’t have that!

Chad:  What DID you have Sophie?

Sophie:  I didn’t come from an athletic family- I’m kind of an aberration in that.  Even then, it doesn’t come naturally.  I danced for a long time.

Chad:  Like that is how you paid your way through college?

Sophie:  Honestly that would have been great.  I have an irrational amount of confidence about some things and I think I’d be a great pole dancer!  Also the heels are amazing.

Chad: And your squat depth is already amazing- imagine doing that in 4 inch heels!

Sophie:  YES!  Oh my god…

Chad:  Sorry Trevor!

Sophie:  Right?  He’s going to be like WHAT did you guys talk about?  Anyway… ballet, jazz and all that stuff and then in high school I did drill team; not the guns and flags, but the high kicking and cowboy hat business.  So my first fitness love was dance.  In college you just lose your way and really the next thing was finding my way to Dane’s when I was in grad school.  I lived on like Ave A two minutes away from the original Hyde Park Shop.  I just needed something and I found it and that was the next step in my athletic life.

Chad:  How long was Sophie 1.0 at The Shop?

Sophie: It was like a year and a half then I moved away and came back-

Chad: And you moved away specifically because I had moved away.  And you came back only when I returned, yes?

Sophie:  (robotically) Actually, yes! Totally factually correct in all ways.  No it actually was truly exciting when you came back.  You left such a hole when you went away- it was sad to not have you there-

Chad: (speaking into the recorder) I slide the twenty dollar bill across the table to her…

Sophie:  (nodding head robotically and speaking blankly) Give him a raise.  He’s wonderful.  *everyone laughing*

Jess:  I want to hear how Phillip ended up at The Shop.

Phillip:  I was working out a lot but like only on the vanity muscles and I was getting hurt a lot. I was going to Bird Bird over by the Manor Shop and I just walked in and there was a woman working out who told me how to get in contact.  So I set up a walk through with Chad at the Hyde Park location and I started!

Sophie:  How often does that happen with Bird Bird?

Jess:  All the time- I had a tour with someone who saw us while they were waiting for a biscuit this morning.  I like to think both businesses help one another out.

Sophie:  Saturday mornings are so funny because it is just a long line of people watching us while they wait and I feel like they hate us because we are making them feel like they should be working out and we hate them because we want a biscuit!

Chad: The only people who are happy are the people who come to workout and have a biscuit scheduled for pick up immediately afterwards.  I remember when I gave Phillip the tour, and this is the only time it has ever happened to me, it was a very genial tour and at the end he goes, “Let me ask YOU a question, if you were a superhero, what would your power be?”.  I’ve actually asked that question during these interviews, but I’ve never had it flipped on me and on a tour no less.

Sophie:  You WOULD be the one to do that!

Phillip:  Well I wanted to see what the vibe was- like how intense it was or how fun it would be.

Chad:  Well I guess my answer was sufficiently fun.  Not the most fun, but fun enough.

Phillip:  I do remember your answer!  It was being able to speak every language.

Chad:  YEAH!  Okay, what is the horniest song of all time?  You can define horny however you like.

Sophie:  That song Pony by Ginuwine.

Phillip:  Oh that’s a good one!

Chad:  We have a summer intern named Mateo and he is great- just a really sweet kid in his early twenties.  When he’s working at The Shop he’s usually blasting some music; he has his cool kid playlist but he also likes to blast Tejano music which is awesome.  One Friday afternoon it was just me, him and Dane at the Shop and he had the Tejano music on- Dane and I commented on how fun it was. Well Dane left and not two minutes later, he switches over to Sexual Healing!  I poked my head around the corner and was like “it isn’t THAT kind of internship Mateo- no extra credit!”.  So funny.

Phillip:  I love his music!  He is usually the one who puts it on during the 11:45am class at Manor Road.  I don’t know- Toxic by Brittany Spears?

Jess:  That is a sexy song!

Chad:  Those are really great songs.  Jess do you have one?

Jess:  Wicked Games by the Weeknd-

Phillip:  That is a good one!

Chad:  Oh!  And I’m going to jump in and say Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. (expectant pause) You guys know that one?

Jess:  I don’t know that one.

Chad: (looking at Sophie) You know that one?

Sophie: Uh no..

.

Chad: (feeling really fucking old right now!) Ok you all have homework- look up the video for Wicked Game because it is waaaay horny.  Next question Jess?

Jess:  Yes!  So outside of the gym, what is your favorite way to get movement?

Phillip:  I’m either swimming or playing football or running or hiking.  I always stay moving.

Jess:  Do you swim at a pool?  Barton?

Phillip:  I’ll do anywhere.  Actually right now (beloved Shop member and former SAS!) Robert Blaser is trying to teach me how to swim laps.  Or was trying to teach me- I got into a relationship and kinda disappeared- my bad Robert I LOVE YOU!

Chad:  Sophie, what do you do to stay active?  Aside from bug waterboarding.

Sophie:  I’ve sort of become our lawn guy this year.  I am my own lawn man, so I mow and look up chemicals and stuff.  I have also started taking dance classes recently.  Some of it is like riding a bicycle and some of it is completely different like I’m not flexible anymore.  Like I am worried about going to do a high kick and throwing something out.  But I held my own against the little teeny boppers that were there.

Phillip:  The urge to compete!  I went to a Barry’s class recently and was on the treadmill constantly looking over at the person next to me.  Also, don’t go to a Barry’s class- it is dangerous!

Sophie:  They’re fun, but they are so dark.

Phillip:  So dark but also so sexy.  The horniest song ever is just Barry’s!

Chad:  Speaking of competition, Sophie you actually work out with your partner Trevor.  I have observations on that but I just wanted to get your experience of that and then also Phillip if you workout with your partner what that is like.

Sophie:  The dynamics are nice!  This mirrors our personal lives- I really try hard not to wade in and comment on form.  I try to generally ignore him even though we stand next to one another and have a rapport.  It is really nice though and I’m so glad that he let me talk him into this because he is really enjoying it.  I just try not to put myself in a position where I’m trying to coach him.

Chad: And that is my main observation that you two have a very healthy couple working out relationship.

Sophie:  He didn’t sign up to have his wife berate him in public.

Chad:  And the result of you not badgering him is that he’s getting really good!

Sophie:  Yes he is!  He’s really taking to it.  I did a real slow sell with it: you can take a horse to a kettlebell but you can’t make him swing it.

Phillip:  Ooooh cute!  Strike that from the record!

Chad:  How about you Phillip?

Phillip:  I am dating someone, but I think having your own space is really important.  That said, I did go on a date with this guy that I’m dating to the gym and I made him do the Mile Big Mac-

Jess:  Oh my god!

Sophie:  That is SO mean!

Phillip:  He did great! 

Chad:  That is a great workout for keeping your space!

Phillip:  Exactly.  You don’t have to speak to each other because you are so busy counting.  He did really well.  I did badger him a little but that was because he was locking his knees and I’m like “you’re going to hurt EVERYBODY”.

Jess:  If you were to have a superlative ascribed to you or if you’ve already been given a superlative, what would it be?

Sophie:  I think at one point in college for an org I was in, I was named most minimalist for my design style.  I’ve swung the other way now though, I’m a semi maximalist.

Chad:  (to Jess) Did you have any superlatives?

Jess:  I was voted most likely to host SNL.  I dressed up like Mary Katherine Gallagher for our yearbook photos.

Sophie: That tracks!

Phillip:  I didn’t get one in high school, but if I were to have one I would want it to be most unforgettable.

Jess:  I love that!

Chad:  Let’s go with the troublesome questions I got from our coaching squad. This one is only troubling me because she says I won’t be able to publish the answer.  Phillip, what is Beth Felker’s  nickname for you?

Phillip:  Oh, she calls me slut. Like hey “slut”!  And I’m like, “hey whore”!

Chad:  Oh, that’s great- I am totally going to publish that!  When I moved back here, she was one of the few coaches that I didn’t know at all, so I was eager to meet her.  She impressed me a lot and so I had a nickname for her quickly- you know I like you if I have a nickname for you.  I called her BethStar like the Death Star from Star Wars, but she isn’t a big Star Wars person so I don’t know if she has even made the connection yet!  She calls me Rocket Chad. Maybe I’m not giving her enough credit though.  (to Sophie) You and I have a nickname relationship!

Sophie:  Oh you’re flip flop Chad!  Is that what you’re talking about?

Chad: Yeah yeah!  You appreciate my flip flop mode.

Phillip: I love flip flop Chad!

Sophie: Because when he shows up and doesn’t put shoes on, things go a little wild for a little bit.  And then you get your tennis shoes on and things chill out a little bit.  Flip flop Chad is just a little wild and crazy.

Phillip:  I’m going to tell you guys a secret I have.  Every coach has a tell that the first part of class might be a little chaotic.  Flip Flop Chad means a solid 15 minutes of chaos.  Dane, if he’s playing classical music or something you wouldn’t expect to work out to, you know the first five minutes is just checking in with our bodies.  And Keith is like if there is like sixties parlor music on, good we’re going to talk about food.

Chad:  That is great to hear- see YOU are interviewing US on a daily basis, so that is why we need to flip the script from time to time.  (to Sophie) On my end, Kollaja is your maiden name and so back in the day I would call you Kolache, but I didn’t know the name situation when you got married so I switched it to Soapie.

Sophie:  Oh!  You can do the Kolache thing- it is my instagram handle.  

Chad: The other coach question is kind of cringey.  Dane wanted me to ask Phillip why you haven’t asked him for football advice.

Phillip:  Oh Dane!  Awww… Dane…  Dane…. OOPS!!!

Chad: We could go many different directions with that.  I do need to plug Season 2 Episode 8 of Friday Night Lights.  Dane is a featured character- he has lines and everything.

Phillip:  He also has an IMDB.  We know about it Dane!

Sophie:  I feel like he can’t live anything down- everything gets brought up in perpetuity.

Chad:  He makes it too easy- he is too adorable.

Phillip:  And that is why I didn’t want to ask him- he doesn’t want to talk about football!  He has a business to run, he has coaches to handle.

Chad:  Hear that Dane, he is AFRAID to ask!

Phillip:  I’m afraid Dane!  I just know you’re a busy big guy.

Chad:  Yeah Dane, you just need to put your arm around his shoulder and tell him “young pup you just take your pick of any of these women”

Phillip:  Don’t do that Dane, I’m gay!

Chad:  That is one of his lines in FNL!

Phillip:  WHAT!?!?!?

Chad:  Sophie, have you asked any of the coaches for dance or carpentry advice?

Sophie:  Me and Mark talk about plants a lot.  We have differing opinions on lawns and their upkeep.  He wants a free flowing thing and I’m gunning to be on the board of my HOA!

Jess:  My next question is about babies… long pause…. your animal babies.

Sophie:  Woof!  I thought you were taking that another direction.

Phillip:  I was like WHAT?

Sophie:  My little baby is Spoetzl- he is a little rescue chihuahua terrier mix.  We did a DNA test and he is a chihuahua, schnauzer, rat terrier and he is so precious; a little 17lb chicken nugget.  (to Phillip) Tell us about your baby?

Phillip: I have a little dog that I’m co-parenting with my ex named Louis the Furteenth- he is a beagle/husky mix with crystal blue eyes- super sassy but very very sweet.  

Sophie: We need a picture session at the end of this.

Phillip: Well I have a tattoo of him! (shows tattoo- duh!).  I love him, but he is aggressive with other dogs so he has to be taken special care of.

Sophie:  Doesn’t it make you feel bad when other people bring their dogs to The Shop and you’re like I can’t bring mine because they aren’t socialized properly-

Phillip: It is a weird feeling and also when you’re like I need to go hang out with my dog now and someone is like “bring them!” and I’m like I can’t because we would all need Xanax for that.

Chad:  Great segue to my next question- if you were a drug, what would you be?

Phillip:  I LOVE this!  I mean- what are you talking about (laughs and smiles sheepishly). Advil!

Sophie:  I haven’t done drugs- nothing stronger than weed, but I went through D.A.R.E. so I think I know enough about them to answer.

Jess:  I can sing the entire D.A.R.E. song if you let me.  Don’t let me.

Phillip:  I’d probably be a stimulant- something like adderall that is like bop bop bop (snapping fingers).  That is the ONLY drug I’ve ever done. (everyone laughs)

Chad: Don’t pee test him!

Sophie:  What is something that would be like a mellow chill sort of vibe?

Phillip:  Probably a downer like Xanax or Klonopin.

Chad: (pointing to Sophie’s beer) I think you might just be a kolsch or something like that.

Sophie:  Maybe like a little glass of riesling!  A little sparkly but mellow. 

Chad:  I like that!  A riesling shows up to work but is approachable.

Jess:  And some are sweet but not too sweet.

Sophie:  I’ll take that- he’s adderall and I’m a riesling!  What great balance.

Jess:  I’d be shrooms- give me some psilocybin!

Phillip:  Ooo cute!  

Jess: (to Chad) How about you?

Chad:  I… I don’t know.

Phillip: What would you say is your effect on other people?

Chad:  I think it is mostly positive, but you don’t want to go too deep on it.

Phillip:  Like cannabis?

Sophie:  Yeah, because you’re chill but then you start talking and you get really theoretical really fast.

Jess:  Oooh yeah!  You’re probably an edible.

Phillip:  I love that!

Sophie:  One milligram of a pot brownie too much- that is Chad.

Chad:  The room is spinning man!

Jess:  But you can also be very anxiety reducing too.

Chad:  You know what?  The two strains- indica & sativa- I’m a freaking Gemini so it is perfect.  I’m weed!  More questions Jess?

Jess:  Speaking of Geminis, what are your signs?

Sophie:  I am a Virgo- I don’t know any of the other moons and risings and stuff.

Phillip:  What is a Virgo like?

Sophie:  Type A, very buttoned up.

Jess:  I’ve dated a lot of Virgos.  I’ve also dated a lot of Scorpios.

Chad:  Wild sex right?

Jess:  I can neither confirm nor deny…  Um- I’m a virgin!

Phillip:  I am a Taurus with a Pisces moon and a Scorpio rising.  So I am very grounded and level headed- very materialistic.  Very stubborn, but also very loyal and very genuine.  

Jess:  I’m a Libra sun, a Sagittarius moon, and Gemini rising.  (looking at Chad) Which is why we get along so well.

Chad:  Because rising is what you are perceived as.

EVERYONE:  HELLO!!!  We’ve been waiting for you (Chad’s daughter Hero arrives with her mama Becca)

Chad:  And Hero is an Aries which scares the shit out of me!

EVERYONE:  Coos and makes baby noises fawning over Hero for like five minutes

Sophie:  Oh my gosh!  She’s looking more like you- like you guys have the same eyes.

Jess:  You can put this on the record that Hero is my favorite baby.  

Phillip:  I only saw her grumpy once- and that was at the Shop Party.

Chad:  Yeah, that was pushing bedtime for her.

Phillip: Pushing bedtime for all of us honestly!

Chad: Next Question- have either of you recently read any books that are influencing you?  What is shaping your philosophical life and conception of the world?

Phillip:  I am actually reading The Degradation of A Very Good Gay.  When he was 20 years old he started journaling and now I think he is 33 or 35 years old and it is just his queer experience during that time.  It is just beautiful- it talks about love, family & experiences.  I recommend it to any queer members!

Sophie: Adds to goodreads list!  I get the New Yorker and so that makes up most of my reading because your guilted into it when they show up every fucking week and you feel like you have to read all of it!  I read a great piece in there about the DSM-5 and how they are always shifting diagnoses and how they are defined.  The piece was all about our urge to be defined and have titles and identities.  Just the drive to find labels to acquire and why we seek that out.

Jess:  It hints on the sense of purpose you have as a human and needing to tie that to something and if you lack that (purpose) you can place labels to define yourself.

Sophie:  Yeah! Like if you can define yourself by these other things you don’t have to think about what you really are.

Chad:  I think the concept of identities in our world has been in a really convulsive phase recently and we’re struggling as a society with how best to organize our thoughts on it.

Sophie:  You layer social media on top of it and how that instigates an idea of community even if it is debatable that that really exists online.

Jess:  I feel like since the pandemic people have been forced to slow down and think about their mental health and that has led to a lot more funding and trying to figure things out.

Chad: Do you have any more questions Jess or shall we move toward wrapping up?

Jess: Let’s do the wrap up!

Chad:  Yeah, I think that was a nice thoughtful moment to begin to end on.  The last thing I leave open ended because I think people come into these interviews and they might have things they think they might be asked and they might have things they wanted to say that didn’t come up.  So if there is anything that hasn’t come up that you had been thinking about leading into the interview is one way to think about it.   You could also think of it as what is the advice you would give to a new member as a venerated member of our society.

Sophie:  Before I answer I just want to put it out there that I’m glad there weren’t many music questions; the second someone asks me about music my brain goes “I’ve never heard music in my life”.  Recently I saw a thing that was “don’t be afraid to be seen trying”.  I thought that was such a good way of putting it out there that there is nothing bad about coming in and trying something and doing it without worrying about being perfect.  I think Dane’s is such an accepting place.  You can come in and try and fail and that is fine.  You can play!  Don’t be afraid to be seen trying- come in and give it a shot.  I was talking to Kaley (Hart- another DBS member and very likely future SAS! nom) and she was like I finally did a box jump on the low box.  I congratulated her and she was like “it isn’t as high as the box you use”.  We’re all on different journeys- it doesn’t matter!

Chad: Kaley is a very cerebral and thoughtful person, so I’m sure she appreciated that.

Phillip:  That is a great sentiment.  I was going to say share your successes.  If you’re lifting really well or having a great day, share it!  Also, it costs nothing to be kind; be kind and have fun.

Sophie:  That is the best place to land on.

Jess: Be kind and have fun.

Sophie:  Go team!

Chad:  The first every Dane’s Body Shop four-way has been recorded!

Phillip:  We’ve done it team, welcome to our podcast!

Gretchen Weber: It Would Be Awesome If I Could Argue Myself Out of A Job

I was finally able to track down our final Winter 2024 Spotlight Athlete down on a warm May Thursday at Lazarus Brewing on Airport.  Unsurprisingly, the wait was worth it as we two ex-patriots of the American Southwest engaged in a wide ranging conversation that covered everything from 90’s fashion to the death penalty.

Coach Chad: Gretchen Weber!  With one “b” right?

Gretchen Weber:  One “b”!  I wish that I was related to the grill, but I’m not.

You’re not a grilling heiress?  Not the Paris Hilton of propane?

Nope, I wish I was.

Well thanks for the clarification.  So I think an interesting place to start is that you have confessed to me that you are a fitness nerd- like you’ll go down youtube rabbit holes.  Can you think of 2 or 3 of the most fascinating things you’ve learned or people you’ve come across?

Oh sure!  People I love are Brian Carroll & Stuart McGill- the McGill method.  That has been one of the biggest things I have learned; abs aren’t just the six pack.  I also like the gentleman from Squat University- they have some practical tips.  

Can you think of one particular tip or tidbit you’ve learned from these people?

Hmm… You should do lots of core stabilization before you lift heavy.

The warm up in our Strength classes is usually all core stability, so that backs that up- very cool!

I like the way that it supplements what (the coaches at The Shop) teach.  People cue differently.

Be honest here, have you come across anything that is completely different than what we do- anything that made you think “Dane’s is full of shit!”?

No!  Sometimes when I see people do a bird dog, according to the McGill method, the leg is up too high and it causes an arch in the low back.  You guys do teach it correctly.

That is a really great observation.  I’ve seen it too- particularly with women because of the way the hips are shaped.  Okay guys, listen to Coach Gretchen!  What else are you a nerd about?

I’m a super nerd about nutrition- about how much protein I get.  I make all of my own food and probably eat out, at most, twice a week.  

Maybe we can link to a favorite recipe at the bottom of the interview?

Honestly, I’m such a good at home chef, that I just open the refrigerator, see what we have and just go for it!

Woah!  Okay, maybe we can link to something you like to make.

I have some incredible salad photos.

Maybe I’ll use that instead of a photo of you for the newsletter/website!

Yeah!

When and how did you get into fitness?

My family are sports fanatics.  Even though it is a very female-heavy family, we all watch sports.  My mother benefited from Title 9 and she played high school sports-

Which ones?

Softball & track were her big sports.  So I was raised that we always had sports on tv- particularly women’s sports.  

That is neat!  You’re a similar age as me and that was not a common exposure when were growing up.

Yes!  Tennis- Martina Navritalova & Steffi Graf.  Being from Nebraska, there is nothing there but corn and sports.  

What sports did you play?

I played volleyball-

Even as a shorter person?

Yeah, I was a setter!  I blew out my knee before my senior year.

Do you still play?  That is a sport that ages pretty well.

I did intramurals in college but then hurt my knee again.  What I’m really into now is weightlifting!

Cool!  When did you start weightlifting seriously?

Dane’s!  

When and how did you start at Dane’s Body Shop?

I went to physical therapy at Austin Sports Medicine.  I used to do a lot of cycling in New Mexico and I wanted to get into a fitness community.  When I moved to Texas I needed to develop my community again and I had gone to a yoga studio and some other places and, I don’t know how to say this, but they weren’t my people.  So I went in to get some work on my knee and I asked for recommendations of a good gym that wasn’t going to treat me like an old lady and they recommended Dane’s.  I went to a community workout first.  I went up to Dane and was like “Okay, I want to join- what is your spiel?” and he just blushed- so modest.

That dude!  The tours we give to new members are our lifeblood and he’s more or less taken himself off the schedule for those. He’s too modest!

Honestly, I have a bullshit detector so he would have blown it if he came on too strong.  He’s just genuine.

He’s on the far end of the sales spectrum away from bullshit- I mean he actually has a good product to sell!

Totally!  I brag to everyone about Dane’s.

That’s great.  It isn’t intended at all, but there is always a marketing component that surfaces in these interviews.  How long did it take you to hit a rhythm taking class?

Oh right away!  I was like these are my people.  The first person was Janelle-

Janelle Fondry!

Yes!  She was one of the very first people in those early morning classes.  She is amazing.

I’m glad you said her name.  I love having her in class and then just her as a person.  My favorite t-shirt, because I have a baby girl, is in the style of the poster for “The Godfather” but it says “The Girl Father” and that was a baby shower gift from Janelle.  Anyone else you wanted to shout out from your early times taking class?

Shelley!

Which one?  We have insane amounts of Shelleys.

Shelley Norton.  She’s great.

I love her- we lose one Shelley and three more grow back in her place.  Ok, so you grew up in Nebraska- when did you move to New Mexico?

Um- 96′!  Albuquerque- go Lobos!

Go Lobos!  I want you to riff on Albuquerque a bit. Think about the board of tourism for Albuquerque, how would you pitch the city to someone who has never been there?

Albuquerque is home to The University of New Mexico and is in the backdrop of the Sandia Mountains which are unbelievably beautiful.  It has a wonderful historic downtown area and has the world’s largest tram- let me fact check myself- yes! (reading from phone) “the Sandia Peak Tramway- ride to new heights- takes visitors 2.7 miles or ten thousand feet up to the Sandia Mountains”.  It is a really spectacular thing and Albuquerque is also home to the international hot air balloon festival every October.  It is really amazing, you’ll just be living there and a hot air balloon flies over your house.

That is so cool!  Okay, if the vibe in Austin is something like the struggle between the “Keep Austin Weird” ethos and “okay, enough tech bros already!”, what is the vibe of Albuquerque?

Oh it is a chill vibe- mountain air, Subarus, weed is legal in New Mexico.  Everybody spends so much time outside that I think they are calmer.  New Mexico has this very deep and rich history and is very much the southwest which is way different than the south which you understand as someone from Arizona.

Yes!  I was curious how you would describe Albuquerque specifically as someone from Tucson, because I’ve always viewed the two cities as through the looking glass versions of one another.

Yeah!  Also it is a minority majority city- I spoke Spanish every day that I lived there.

And I want the readers to notice that not once have you mentioned meth while talking about Albuquerque-

*roaring laughter!* I was actually on set for one of the scenes during Breaking Bad- I’ve seen Aaron Paul and Brian Cranston.  I had to sign an NDA!  They did filming on my ex wife’s property. I am a fan of that show- big time.  Albuquerque also does have a great deal of poverty and so there is a lot of sadness there.  But we loved Breaking Bad- they pronounced the name of our streets correctly- like they actually pronounced San Mateo as “San Mateo”- not like here in Texas-

We’d call it something like Son Made!  You just mentioned your ex- how long have you been with your current partner- Kreesa?

Karessa!  Uh… 6 years!

What do you two do together- what is your life like?

We are pretty big nerds!  We love outdoor stuff- she 3-D prints while I cook.

At home?

Yeah, we have a 3-D printer at the house.  She’s printing herself a micro-sized laboratory. 

Wow!  We had a member years ago who brought one in and printed these name tags for all of the coaches, so I got to see it working.  So cool!  Do you two ever workout together?  

She is not a gym enthusiast- we like to walk and hike together.  I can be a little intimidating when working out. *big laugh*

You do get locked in!  If she was a gym person would you want her to workout with you?

I don’t think so, Dane’s is like therapy for me and I don’t bring her to therapy unless we’re doing couple’s counseling.  I think something surprising about me is that I am not an extrovert.  I probably wouldn’t be as open to other people if I had my own person with me.  It forces me to connect with other people.

I would say that “forces” feels like an odd verb here because you connect so naturally.

It is so flattering that you say that- I always feel like a spaz!

Not at all! You can be overly apologetic when asking questions, but us coaches love it when members ask us questions.  Okay, well let’s talk about what you do for work.  I usually go into these interviews with a vague idea about what folks do, but I have a more than vague idea about what you do and I think it is fucking fascinating and terrifying.  So don’t trauma yourself talking about this!

*laughing* No, I love my work.  Okay, I am a paralegal for the Federal Public Defender’s Office which is a fancy way of saying that we represent people on the last stage of appeal on death penalty cases out of the state of Texas and that if we’re unsuccessful, then the client is executed.  So if someone gets a death sentence from a county court, an appeals process starts.  There are a couple levels of appeal at the state level where you go back and look at what did or didn’t get told at earlier levels and if those are not successful then the federal appeal starts.  We overlook what every other legal team did and what didn’t get told and then we tell it.  

That is a big ball of yarn to untangle-

It is a big fucking tangled ball of yarn.  And then if we are unsuccessful the individual gets executed.

Wow!  How did you get into that- did you work in the legal field before this?

Yes, I have been a paralegal for seventeen years now.  I have a bachelors in Spanish and political science and I started with the state public defenders in Albuquerque.  I worked for seven years as a paralegal dealing with violent offenses; rape, murder, rape that results in death- all the good stuff! *dark laughter*.  Then I went to work for the federal office and that could be anything from bank robberies because banks are federally insured to felonies committed on reservations because those are considered federal lands.  So I go to visit people on death row and organize the case- kind of like how a nurse sets everything up for a doctor, I set everything up for the attorneys.

I feel like it is almost more interesting to be a paralegal than a lawyer.

I think so!  A lot of the attorneys say they couldn’t do it without a paralegal; I joke that my middle name is “where is that thing, I know I saw it somewhere”.  I can work a word document like nobody’s business.  I’m really a project manager- I manage the timelines and request all the records.  I get to work with the best experts!

Another question just occurred to me.  The death penalty is like a classic high school debate class topic where you get assigned a side to defend.  Can you give a brief case against it?

Yes.  We are more than the worst thing that we’ve done.  The criminal justice system is fraught with racism and the system was meant to enslave people.  Also, it is not a deterrent- Texas executes the most people as a state, but if Harris County were a state, it would be second in line.  There is such disproportionality to how the death sentence is handed out.  It isn’t a fair system.

And for our fiscally conservative friends- isn’t the death penalty a major financial drain?

Yes.  It would be awesome if I could argue myself out of a job.

That might be the title of the interview.  Awesome!  So I got a couple questions from the coaches and I also asked my 4:15pm class a couple hours ago for questions even though I don’t think any of them know you.  Doug Zullo, who has been a member since like 2012, great dude, he is a little sassy and he said to ask her why she thinks she deserves to be athlete of the season.

*stung laughter* Oh I’d be the last person to say that I deserve it!  

That is how a lot of people respond to that sort of question.  Do you have any inclination?

I don’t.  I hope that I’m pleasant to be around and I like to be a cheerleader for Dane’s.  Following up on my work, when I started doing death penalty specific work, it was heavier than anything that I’d done before.  I have had to sit with people and talk about their autopsy.  I started drinking a little too much wine when I got home- nothing crazy, but that was my release valve.  I discovered that didn’t make me feel better and that is when I knew my body was holding all of this (heaviness from work) and I needed to release it.  Dane’s Body Shop is really my release for all the stuff I see at work.  I get to slam balls and throw weight around- Dane’s provides such a cathartic release.

That is really cool.  I wasn’t angling for a compliment for us, so I’ll answer for you!  Why does Gretchen Weber deserve to be a spotlight athlete?

*laughing*

It is that thing we were talking about earlier in the interview- you are so approachable and charismatic in the sense that people want to be around you.  You may be an introvert, but at least within the context of the Shop, you are so open.  You participate in events at The Shop.  The fact that you are a fitness nerd, that you actually take the time outside of class to learn stuff matters.

You know I’m too shy to ask to be on someone’s team (for the team mini-meets we hold) and I was only asked once.

We just had our Brains & Brawn Mini-Meet, and I would say roughly half the teams were made up of people just emailing us and saying “hey, put me on a team” as opposed to having a team they formed.  It is a great way to participate and meet people- the team that won was actually a team like that.

Really?  I didn’t know that.

August 3rd is Field Day, mark it on your calendar!

Okay!  I totally will.

Well thank you for letting me get my Field Day plug in!  Now I have to look at my notes because the questions from the coaches were about reality television and I know nothing about that.  Stormie-

I love Stormie!

She asked if you and Karessa were on “The Challenge”, what sort of events would you excel at?

Oh gosh!  It would have to be two different things.  I would do all the physical stuff and Karessa would puzzle and eat gross stuff.

Oh wow!  So there is a Fear Factor element to it?

They’ve taken Fear Factor and morphed it into an athletic competition.

Stormie also wanted to know if you had a current guilty pleasure with respect to reality television.

I do- The Jinx season 2.  Oh and Catfish- oh and wait, I guess I have a couple.  Also “Help, I Think I’m in a Secret Relationship” also on MTV.

I think Stormie will be very pleased with those answers.  I asked for questions on the coach text thread and Jess got super excited when she saw you were a fan of The Challenge.  She wanted to know which challenger you resonated with.  This means nothing to me, but presumably will mean something to Jess.

I don’t know if I want to relate to anyone- I think MTV picks them not just for their athletic prowess but also their sassy behavior.  I really like Killer Cam- she just had a baby.  I like the moms.  She left her 8 month old baby at home to do The Challenge- she’s pumping and freezing her milk so her baby can get her milk.

That is crazy!  As someone who has just tangentially experienced a year of pumping and what that entails- hopefully MTV sprung for someone to wash the pump parts for her.  That was my job!  Okay, here are some random questions.  In an election year, I always ask this question- Trump or Biden?  Jokes!  If you were to elect someone from the Shop community to be president who would it be?

Dane!  He’s even tempered.

For a man who has that much CTE-

*laughs* a man who has four children-

A man who has four children and that much CTE, it is incredible how even tempered he is.  

He’s also humble- I wish my president was more humble.

I crib questions from other interviewers sometimes and this one is from Inside The Actor’s Studio way back in the day- when you get to heaven, what would you want god to say to you or what do you think he would say?

I would like god to say- thanks for all that work you did saving people on death row-

Because the afterworld is getting crowded!  I love that.  This one is from a music centered podcast called 24 Question Party People where the host asks the same 24 questions of different musicians.  What is the horniest song ever?

AC/DC “All Night Long”.  It is a banger!

I love that you didn’t have to pause or think about it.  Chunky or smooth peanut butter?

Chunky!

Really?  You know you’re living a lie right?  People think it is less ground than smooth peanut butter, but it really is just smooth peanut butter with chunks added in.

Really?  I didn’t know that.  I just like the texture!

There is a thing that happens where I see people at The Shop all the time and then I see them outside of working out and am like “wow, you clean up really nice!”  You’ve always struck me as someone with great style- how would you describe your aesthetic?  Do you have a color that you anchor to?

I love pink and black.

Which you are sporting right now!

I love the 90’s vibe, I really do.  I loved Avril Lavigne’s style- flannel, Doc Martens.  I looked like a skater girl, but I didn’t skate.  I liked the 90’s style and I am happy that I get to do it again.  I think I emulate Jennifer Aniston when I dress up for court.

Very cute!  If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be and why?

A peach!  Just kidding! *laughing*

Oh great, then I’d be an eggplant and we’ll just go there!

*cackling* Okay, I would be a raspberry- found naturally in the wild, a little bit sweet and a little bit tart.

When does the tart side come out?

I get road rage hence when you initially suggested meeting at the LINC, I was against spending that much time on I-35.  Being from a town of 350 people and then Albuquerque, I have a hard time putting my destination in and then seeing it is five miles away and it is going to take me twenty minutes to get there.  I hate driving.

I’m an extreme defensive driver.

How has that been having Hero (Chad’s daughter) to protect in the car?  I’ve always been curious about that

Well I’ve always been the driver when Becca and I are going places, so I’ve had her to protect and now it is just more so.  I used to drive like every other car was trying to kill me and now I drive like they are trying to murder my entire family.  So I’m worrying about what every other car anywhere near me is doing- “that car 1/4 mile back is going fast, I’m going to start tapping my brakes now so that he knows I’m going to be stopping at that next light”.  Well that is getting toward the end of things and I always like to conclude with a more open ended question.  Let’s say that someone didn’t come from an athletic background and an athletic family, what advice would you have for them getting started at The Shop?

Yeah, I would say that there are absolutely no expectations.  The expectation is for you to do what feels good for you and your body and what feels good at that time.  Dane’s will never make you feel like you have to compete with people or that if you don’t want to do the workout as written, you scale it to fit your body and where you are.  The coaches will always have something to substitute for you and they won’t roll their eyes about it.  Dane’s really is my happy place.  I’m taking Spanish classes with Virginia at The Learning House and that connection came from Dane’s.  I moved to Austin when I was 39 and when you get older you tend to meet people in just a couple of ways: your work or if you have children, but otherwise it is not as common to seek out those connections.  Dane’s has provided that space for me to meet people that have nothing to do with where I work.

That’s lovely!  And I’m just going to do this obnoxious thing I had in the back of my mind.  Yasi Salek, who hosts that podcast I referenced earlier with the horny song, asks a deliciously obnoxious question towards the end of each interview.  What do you think about me?  She asks this to musicians who are a fairly big deal sometimes.  You’re a fairly big deal at The Shop Gretchen, what do you think about me?

I think you’re the extrovert that introverts like me need to be around.  You have a confidence that I don’t have.  It makes going into spaces that seem overwhelming more comfortable.

That’s good to hear and thank you!  Though I think if we were to really compare what is actually going on in our insides that maybe you are actually more confident than me.  I am a classically trained actor, so maybe I can just sell it better than you can.  Circling back to the question of why you deserve to be a spotlight athlete, I think making other people feel comfortable is a big part of it and you definitely do that.

I just love the space!  People are so welcoming.

Well Gretchen, thank you for that and thank you for the interview!

Patrick Long: Ready For His Sugar Mama!

Coach Jess & Winter 2024 Spotlight Athlete Patrick Long met at Terrible Love in Hyde Park for coffee and a wide-ranging conversation.  Though both the interviewer and the interviewee took every opportunity to turn the conversation toward Patrick’s awesome wife Ari, much was learned about Patrick himself… including his answer to a DBS Coach oriented version of F/M/K.  Don’t know what those letters stand for?  Pour yourself a stiff one and read on…


Coach Jess: Welcome, Patrick, to your SAS Spotlight interview. Let’s kick it off with an easy one, who is Patrick? Where are you from and how did you get here?

Patrick Long: I am from Rockville. Maryland. It is a suburb of D.C. It’s on the metro line. So technically, it’s easier for me to say D.C. It’s nice. Four seasons. Summers are hot and humid- lots of mosquitoes, but they’re okay- they’re not as hot as Austin.  DC is kind of a swamp. Winters are very cold and they suck. And then I went to college in Baltimore. And winters in Baltimore are way, way, way worse. Yeah, it’s just a cold wind tunnel

After college, where else did life take you since then?

So I started in Rockville and then went to college at Towson, Maryland. I actually wanted to be a teacher, a history teacher- that’s a little bonus for Chad and Keith there. And then I took a film course. One film class with a professor from Seattle; he actually was there doing reality TV.

WOW. Which one?

He was doing stuff for TLC at the time. So it was like-

My 500 lb life?

Close! Doing shows similar to that. He had a person that was actually that large that was aspiring to be a drag queen where the goal was to lose weight and it was super dramatic. Yeah. It was really cool. Never got picked up though.  He treated my class like a job; I loved it. I was good at school, but I wasn’t great at school. After I took that class that was it.

The rest is history.

Yeah, I had to be in the film industry.  Right after college, I got an opportunity to work on a big film project with a producer who was out in LA.  I was working at a company that my mom was working at. I was doing database management. Spreadsheets. Spreadsheets. Spreadsheets

Gotta pay the bills!

It was a nightmare- I hated it. I was making no money. I was traveling back and forth to Towson to see Ariana because we were dating then, and I had the opportunity to go west. So February of 2013, I packed up my stuff and drove the southern route of the U.S. all the way across the country; funny enough, stopping in Austin!  I applied to 180 jobs- I got two callbacks.

In 2013 we were coming out of the recession right?

Yeah. So I got an internship for free. I was driving 60 miles a day working in post production for reality tv and documentaries.

OOOH?!?!?!?!

*For the reader – there is an ever growing argument about how Jess loves reality TV and Patrick hates it*

So anyway, I end up getting a job and my girlfriend at the time, now wife, ends up moving out 18 months later, gets a job, decides she hates said job, so she goes back to school to get her master’s degree, and then on to get into a PhD program in Irvine, California. So we moved from LA. to Orange County after five or six years. Huntington Beach is where we got engaged at the Dog Beach surrounded by a million puppies.

AWWWWW. Also very on par for y’all

Yes, very much so- our dog was going nuts. So Charlie, who is now 12 and a half (and in PT right now), has basically been along for almost the entire ride. Then COVID happens and there’s some family emergencies, so then we go back to Maryland. We lived there for a few years and then Ari got her post-doctorate at UT-Austin and so here we are as of February 2022

And now we’re moving to Seattle in June.  RIP!
*For the reader – Jess does NOT like Seattle OR The University of Washington (Go Cougs), so Patrick & his wife are dead to her*

I know. We’re very excited and also heartbroken. I think between our apartments and our various living situations in the last decade, we’ve moved ten times. It’s gross. She’s been working so hard to get through school and we are very excited that after a decade she gets the props and a job she deserves. And I’m going to retire soon!

So one of the questions here is how dope is your wife? Brag about her a little bit

Easy transition there, thank God, because if we keep talking about me it’s gonna go MERRRROW *sound of a plane crashing*

She’s the real SAS!

She’s a soon to be a sugar Mama- Dr. Long is an astrophysicist. She’ll be working at the University of Washington in Seattle.

Boo. Go Cougs! … Go Huskies! (simultaneously)

She’s published! She has a really awesome article in the 2020 January Scientific American yhat she won an award for. I am traveling all around the world because she has conferences everywhere, so I just hold on her coattails. We’ve been to Asia twice and I just got back from a little place called Asssspen..

Where the beer flows like wine

And the women flock like the salmon of Capistrano!  We did Thailand, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia. She’s been to the Netherlands twice. I was unable to attend those. She’s going to Italy in another month or two. Our goal is to get to South Africa at some point.

And she speaks at those conferences right?

Yeah, regularly. She usually gets invited and then those are like networking and or presenting places and really collaborative spots.  She’s also gotten really into pole dancing and she’s killing that. Level 3 out of 5

That’s awesome! Ryan Romero’s wife teaches pole! She is so cool. And you have Charlie girl?

Yes! Charlie is a Boxer-Rottweiler mix, twelve and a half. Still going very strong even though she is in PT for arthritis. And might I recommend doggie insurance!

Oh I am sure that helps a lot! So you and Ari and Charlie are hanging out in Austin. Where can we find you? Where’s your favorite place to go? What do you like to do?

Well, we’re currently at one of my favorite coffee shops! We are at Terrible Love at Avenue B and 40th Street. It’s like three blocks from the (old) Hyde Park spot. Brian’s awesome. We love coffee-I’ve tried coffee from probably 25 places in Austin.  Figure eight is another super favorite spot. Tyson’s Tacos is a place we find ourselves pretty regularly, especially late night since they are open 24 hours.

Do you know the secret? If you play a song for them on the ukulele, you get a free taco.


I don’t have a ukulele and I can’t play so no free tacos for me.  You can find me at Dane’s pretty regularly. If we’re going out, definitely into seeing lots of shows. Anton’s, Mohawk, Empire Control room, Cheer up, Outer heaven on 12th.

Coach Lauren loves Outer Heaven!

So basically cool spots with concerts. I will find myself at C- Boys hanging with Jess to see Sir Woman.

Yessssss *snaps*

Ah Sing Den for Food. Great drinks. If you want a speakeasy we like Garage and the Mezcal bar above Whistler’s. Plus Techoo right by the Manor location!  You know, we spend a fair amount of time at home. We work really hard and a lot. Which is tough. And so we also spend many a weekend indoors just hanging in. Relax and watch some good TV. NO Reality TV.

Your loss. So yeah, a lot of it sort of sounds like a lot of either coffee spots, shows, out at mezcal bars or good little craft cocktail spots.

Also Cosmic coffee. The new one and the south one by you. The Leroy and Lewis burger. MMMMMM!

Yes. It’s so good. What’s your favorite show that you’ve seen? I know that’s a really tough question. You know that. It’s like asking your favorite child.

We saw Muse recently and Evanescence, opened

M-m-m-m-m-m-mad mad mad

Hahaha yeah! There were so good. Can’t recommend them enough.We’ve been to two ACL’s. White denim was good.  The Black Pumas show was pretty good and The Sacred Souls. BUT WHAT TAKES THE CAKE IS TENACIOUS D!

Explain a little bit more about what exactly you do.  What have you been working on this past year That’s been really cool for you?

So ‘m crazy and I’m part of a small production company. We produce documentaries and podcasts, and right now we’re working on two pretty big documentaries, one docu-series. Sadly, I can’t give too much more information than that. But I do work in a documentary and podcast space. We have a podcast right at right now called “2 Complicated 4 History”. Super interesting show – if you ever wanted to know more about the nuances rather than names and dates and things that they couldn’t tell you in high school history this podcast deep dives. The first season was around a lot of early American history, but we are expanding into more international things. It’s a really fun show that I’m really proud to be a part of. We have another show called Historical Birthdays Today, which is it’s just a 60 second little tidbit every day of someone who was born on that day. We have partnered with a few other shows. You can check us out on YouTube at Primary Source Media

Nice plug!

Yeah! Like, follow, subscribe. Please, God, please. The algorithm is so unkind to us. Please. Like, listen, comments or whatever. All of it. I hate to do it, but do it.

Are they all going to be history like associated or adjacent? Because that kind of sounds like it’s the best of both worlds for you since you’re interested in history and you like video production.


I would say initially that was our goal but now we’re expanding. We have a few other stories, a few other documentaries where we will do our best to look at history. But our big thing is just being super historically accurate. Shout out to my podcast co-producer, Dr. Glenn Price. Robyn’s just our history pit bull. She’s sick.

Chad wants to know which historical figure would you want to have dinner with and why? What would you eat or make?

That’s a….that’s a very hard question. Really. There’re so many.

Noodle on it. I mean, maybe noodles for dinner.

I’d say, okay, we’ll call it a sushi dinner.

Okay. We just had to get the food out there. Now we’re rolling!

George Washington. One of the projects we’re working on is about him and as I’ve learned more about him as a human, I realized he was pretty interesting.

He would be rattled by the concept of sushi!

Sushi, devastating. And his teeth are not wooden. They’re much worse than that.

But he wouldn’t need teeth with sushi really

Yeah, it’s pretty soft. He could just smush it down.

Sick.

I’m actually pretty curious about some of the women in history around GW. There’s more scholarship studying women and so we are learning more and more. So I’d also like Abigail Adams. She was the first lady to the second president, and then she was the mother of, I think the fourth or fifth president. She was very much a political advisor when her son was president. She reminds me of Cersi from Game of Thrones.

*insert embarrassing banter about how Jess doesn’t know her presidents*

I’d want to meet them when they were younger, because a lot of us have this image of like all these old stuffy white guys reading the Constitution, when Hamilton was 21. Like they were younger than us, deciding what to do for a new country! Now I’m not interested in meeting all of our forefathers, and there is absolutely horrifying history and circumstances around who they were as people and how they were all enslavers, almost all of them. (I think Adams was the one guy who didn’t). But it’s still fascinating as far as what they were doing. I would love to know more about…well, see, this is weird though, because what about Genghis Khan? Like THAT would be really interesting.

Wow that is quite the shift!

Oh yeah, horrible stuff, but also he saw a lot of the New world. Conquered half the world. But I’m Mexican and I’m Japanese. So I’m interested in Asian culture and Central American and Latin American culture and all of these things that are a part of a larger scale.

OK, going back to your job. I know you’ve mentioned before that you were a DJ for kids parties….

Hell, yeah.

What is the most eclectic job that you’ve had?

So the most eclectic, silly job, I think was when my wife and I met, we were both lifeguards. I was a supervisor- so scandalous!  We also did private party stuff – kids parties and athletic camps. We were part of this thing called Tourism Hill back in Maryland, and it was associated with a private school. So I would DJ and we would roll into parties in a big truck with a popcorn machine, a cotton candy machine, a moon bounce, etc. And Ari would help with the kids and then I would DJ. She would lead the dances like the Cupid Shuffle, Cha-Cha slide, you know, all of that good stuff. I was DJ PAT.

When was this?

We were in high school. Actually, a funny story  was that we found out after we were married was that actually the first time we met was in 7th grade- she was my neighbor three doors down.

Great band

HA yeah, Three Doors Down!  It was Halloween and there were some young girls in another house in the neighborhood, so we scared them a bit. We could hear the girls inside screaming and turns out that Ari was in that house. But the first time I noticed her was when we were playing soccer on the soccer practice fields

You were like who’s that cutie over there?!

I very much was like, “Who’s that in the baby blue shirt.” I vividly remember it.

Cute. Y’all are a dope couple and I just love the two of you, so it’s really sweet to hear all about how you met. So you’re at Dane’s and you like to do movement there…

I am also a personal trainer! I am a behavioral change therapist and now looking to become nutrition certified.

Hell yeah! We love to hear that! I would say you like to do a lot of movement here, but you also get a lot of movement elsewhere…on the VOLLEYBALL COURT. Talk to me a little bit about what other movement you like to do outside of the shop.

I love playing soccer. I was playing a lot of basketball back east because the winters are gross and indoor sports are a lot easier. Then I came to Austin and joined a sand volleyball team and kickball team. Then I’ve played probably ten seasons now of volleyball, whether it’s sand or indoor.  Jess and I are on the same volleyball team!  I also do a lot of bicycling- I’m training to do a triathlon sprint next weekend *he has done it since this has been printed! Congratulate him!* But I am going to miss being able to do year round outdoor sports in Seattle.

You can always go indoor! Or just stay here… 🙂 So then what drew you to The Shop? How did you find us?

When I was working out in California, I found a cool gym that was an only outdoor gym called Total Fit gym. Then when I went back to Maryland I had started a small personal training company where we worked out of a garage and it was too cold in the winter.

Shoot I could imagine!

It was like 18 degrees

My God.

And despite being a personal trainer, I hate programming for myself. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. But that’s why I became a personal trainer. Because I know other people need it. So when I was looking for a gym, I knew I didn’t want to do CrossFit, and I lived very close to the Manor location and you popped up online. The pricing is reasonable. And then I went and I met (Coach) Mark.

Oh No.

Yeah. The first person I met was Mark. And I remember he said something like “Yeah, man. I’ve been working out here for quite a few years and I’m 60, not too bad.” And he was super sweaty and flexed on me then smacked his arm. I was like, you know, he’s not wrong. And then I came back for a tour.

My God.

And then I met Chad and the rest is history. A lot of what resonated with me about The Shop is that it’s competitive, but in a friendly way. It’s very focused. There’s a lot of attention to detail when it comes to your lifting. There was optionality with Fusion vs Hybrid vs Strength vs Yoga. And it also has a fixed class schedule. That kind of locked me into doing something good for myself because there wasn’t room for flexibility so I had to prioritize it.

There wasn’t a ton of wiggle room for “welllll maybeeeee I’ll go after dinner…”

Nope, classes are now so lets make it work! Then shortly after I started, I realized the community was awesome. The mini-meets, the social fusion, all of that stuff was super appealing and super fun. And I was also looking to build community.

Humble brag- our community is so cool and fun. Chad wants to know, F***, marry, kill: Dane, Chad, Keith? *Chad here dear readers- I cannot believe Jess actually asked this question- that was a total joke on the text thread!*

Damn you, Chad. It’s rare I am left so stumped. Damn you, Chad!

Well, you know, Keith’s really flexible.

And a very strong man. I guess I’d have to figure it out because  my closest relationships are with Chad and Keith. Not to say that I don’t have a good relationship with Dane, right? But if I kill Dane, does that mean the Shop is gone?

No! Ryan (Dane’s wife) will take it over, it’s fine. It’ll be even cooler.

All right. Well, then, I guess Dane’s got to go, he’s got plenty of kids. I guess Keith is getting the marry, and Chad’s getting the one night stand. Dane’s bloodline will still continue, Keith can just carry me around all day, and Chad…well Chad is a tornado of chaos and energy and silly. So like, that sounds fun for ONE night. *Dear readers, Chad here again- I cannot BELIEVE that Patrick actually answered the question!*

So there you have it!

There you go, Chad. I had to kill Dane. The guy who literally owns the shop.

OK one more – Chad also wants to know, what is the most important part of your hair and beard care regimen?

First off, beard care is at an all time low. This is out of laziness, not out of care or style.

Okay…

I’m getting a beard trimmer. It is no longer a cheap trip to barber shops. It’s like the equivalent of a haircut at this point.

Really?! To get your beard trimmed?!

Yeah it’s like $40-50 bucks right. Not too long ago I got a beard salve…lost it that weekend. We went to a wedding that weekend and it was gone after that. I thought “I’m never buying anything for my beard again”. I am lucky and inherited my wife’s hair products.

She’s got beautiful hair.

Yes- her hair is locked right now, but before she had long lots of curls, like the most insane curly hair.

Sounds cute and efficient.

If you have curls like mine, don’t wash your hair too regularly, but you can condition it every day.
But my number one tip for anyone, satin pillowcase.  Satin pillowcase- good for your face and for your hair
Yep. We literally travel with ours. And like not to sound too woo-woo, but natural products are better. They’re just cleaner like shea butter.

Yeah that makes a huge difference, too. You heard it here! Well, any last thoughts, remarks, questions?

No, I don’t think so. I’ve super appreciated my time at The Shop and I’m kind of heartbroken this is the final term or my last hurrah. I’ve truly found some great friends, a great community, and a place that really helped cement why I love Austin in a lot of ways, so I can’t thank the crew and the fam enough here. I’ll be back. I’m going to win one of those DAMN push-pull meets.

Didn’t you just get 7th? You made the top 10!

I think there were only 10.

Yeah there were only 10.

Well don’t be surprised when I come back and smoke you all!

Well we appreciate you! You always have a spot in class when you come visit, and good luck with everything! 

Doug Tucker: Brisket, Beers, and “Beyond”

As ever, Doug Tucker attended the 9am class on a Saturday morning in March at the Hyde Park Shop.  As often, Doug took a brunch break.  For a very special occasion, Doug then hopped over to the Manor Road Shop to meet me after my morning Strength classes for a beer and a conversation.  I’ve known Doug for a long time, so I did far less prep for this interview than usual, guessing that the conversation would steer itself into appropriate proportions of heart and humor.  Was it the right call?  Read on and judge for yourself dear reader!

Doug Tucker:  Do you watch the basketballs?

Coach Chad Ramsey:  I watched some games on Thursday while working from home, but I’m not really caught up on the tournament.

I don’t particularly care for basketball that much but we’re playing Texas tonight (we should mention Mr. Tucker has a thick Tennessee accent and is sporting a loud Volunteer’s shirt).

Shiiiiit!

I drove down the drag cranking “Rocky Top” and no one cared…

That is actually a good segue.  I always like to get a bit of a biography when doing these interviews.  Could you just give us the nickel version of who Doug Tucker is and how he came to be in Austin in general and at Dane’s Body Shop in particular?

Sure!  It is kind of a sad story, but that is okay because I wouldn’t take any of it back.  I graduated from college in May of 2011; born & raised in Tennessee all of my life. In June of 2011, I married my ex wife in Panama and then in July, we both moved a thousand miles away from both our homes to Austin.  I came here because of a job with National Instruments.  About a year in- well, spoiler alert- she’s my ex wife now.

Yeah, the spoiler was kind of already baked in there!

Yeah.  When I first came to Dane’s, I was driven by fear.  I was given an ultimatum by my ex wife- either you lose weight or I am going to divorce you.  I lost the weight and she ended up divorcing me anyway.  That’s okay.

That’s pretty fucked up.

It is.  So I started at Dane’s with the motivation of needing to get in shape to save my marriage.

That is an unfortunate place to start a fitness journey.

So yeah, I knew a little bit about lifting and Dane’s had great reviews-

Wait, in 2012 he had great reviews?  He only started it in 2010!

Yeah, there were 49 reviews-

Great job Dane!  My guy was motivated.

I’ve been to other places and they just don’t scratch the same itch of being in a group.  There have been plenty of times where I’m in a group and I am the last person, but just being in a group.  Particularly during the divorce when I was isolated, it helped me to not feel alone.

Now can you pinpoint a moment or any landmark where coming to the gym became for you rather than something tied to this ultimatum?

It was a couple months before she ended up leaving.  At that point I had seen some success; still wasn’t where I wanted to be and, arguably, still am not there.  I had lost 20-30lbs by that point and was heading in the right direction- I was feeling better and my body was starting to change.  At that point I realized that I wanted to keep doing this for myself; the dopamine kept me sane and it gave me an excuse to get out of the house and not be at home drinking whiskey alone.  That plus a good amount of therapy.

I have to say that that speaks to your positive nature because I think a less positive person, myself possibly even, in that situation the whole experience of working out might be tainted by the fact that it was tied to this toxic relationship.  It is very impressive that you were able to suss out that it was a good thing for you and stick with it.

And I don’t think I fully realized it at the time.  There were times when I was running at the back of the pack or couldn’t do a full push up that there was some serious negative self talk.  It took a while and growing up on my part to realize that it was stemming from a place of fear and I didn’t want that to be the case.  I wanted it to stem from a place of love.  Again, shout out to my therapist!

Are you still seeing the same one?

Sadly she is retired!  As a side note though, after I had finished seeing her, Amanda mentioned that she needed to see a therapist and so I referred her.  On the day of their last session I crashed it and we did a couple’s session!

That is great!  I’ve done couple’s therapy before and I think it is wonderful.  And by the way readers, the Amanda he is referring to is Amanda Tucker née Limas- Doug’s wife and, dare I say, potential future athlete of the season down the road.

Mmmhhmmm!  I’m always telling her that consistency is key; one day she was like “wow, you can get really deep in your squat” and I was like “that’s cause I’ve been doing it for ten years!”.

Now she started after you right?  What was that conversation about her starting like- did you tell her that she needed to lose weight or you’d break up with her?

*Gasping with laughter* Hell no!  The weight she would have dropped would have been me.  No, I just told her that it is an encouraging place and that (coaches) meet you where you are in your fitness level.  That you will probably start out with just the bar and it probably will feel awkward at first, but you will get better, you will get stronger.

Amanda is obviously one member that you have a close relationship to, but I know you warm quickly to people and have a number of relationships, so I reached out to a couple members for interview questions.  And Marc Sturdivant said that he didn’t know if it was going to be appropriate for the interview, but that I should ask why you were called “Shotgun Tucker” in high school.

God damn it!  Okay, I’m going to hit the pause button on that one-

*and oh yes dear reader, I experienced an athlete interview first when Doug reached across the table and smashed the pause button on my phone!  I was actually quite surprised that the story very much wasn’t appropriate for the interview transcription!*

*coughing and laughing*. Alright, we’re resuming the fucking interview!  Not only did he tell me the origin story of Shotgun Tucker, but I told him the story of “squid” so he could have some leverage on me.  We will be moving on from there!  Readers, please do not let your minds fill in the blanks.

*still giggling*  I didn’t know that was physically possible-

Yep!  Okay so that was Sturdivant.  Janelle Fondry wanted to know where the passion for the brisket came from.

Just like everything with me, it all started in Tennessee.  I wasn’t super into grilling when I was young, but my dad was so it was just always a part of whenever we would have big celebrations.  Thanksgiving or Christmas, we’d always have a barbecue.  Now, given that it is Tennessee, this wasn’t brisket- mainly pork.

Right!  I lived in the south briefly and know not to order brisket there.

Oh no, they’re big on the pig.  When I got a house in Austin, I got a little vertical smoker but it was too small for a brisket.  My dad in Tennessee of all people was browsing the Round Rock facebook marketplace and found a smoker that he told me was amazing and that I needed to check out.  Next thing I know, I have this big beautiful smoker that is finally big enough for a brisket.  Last year was the year of brisket- 2023.  I got laid off on December 15th 2022 and went through roughly 13 months of unemployment.

So this is a big thing going on in Austin- the layoffs in the tech industry.  I bet more than a few people reading this can relate.

Oh yeah.  So I’m a software engineer by trade, I’ve been one all my life and still am.  Yeah there has been a big hit to the tech industry and it was very difficult to find a job despite lots of searching.  So to keep myself from going crazy, I decided I was going to really learn how to use this big smoker.  It is stick burning- all manual.  The most hi tech thing I have on there is a thermometer.  I took most of last year trying to figure out how to burn wood a certain way; you get the fire right and then anything you put on the other end is going to come out beautifully.  So then I tried a brisket and the rest is history.

Coach Monica actually wanted me to ask how was the first brisket?

The first brisket was great, the next ten were horrible.  But yeah, it was basically my escape to sanity during the job hunt.

And I can vouch for your brisket because it has made appearances at The Shop!  Your brisket has fed my family- actually I think your brisket is the first brisket that my baby has ever had!

I got something to show you! *pulls out his phone and shows me an adorable video of his baby cousin eating a bite of Doug’s brisket and then immediately busting out into a smile after tasting it*

That is fantastic!  She knows what’s up.

Yep, baby’s don’t lie.  That was a cool moment.

Okay, so bringing it back to the deep Barbara Walters stuff.  I had a version of this question brewing and I think a lot of us did; Beth Reyburn wanted to know, aside from brisket, what did you do to keep your spirits up last year?  I know I went through a similar unemployment thing when we moved to North Carolina briefly and it is one of the darker periods of my life.

I’m not saying this just because of the interview, but I went to Hybrid class.  I found a support network at Dane’s; there were people reaching out and checking in on me including Dane himself.  We have other members like Mark Cunningham who works in my sector and helped me find a contracting gig- getting that support from him and from other people, having that social network of people to get me out of the house was one of the biggest things keeping me sane.  And again I’m not just saying that because we’re doing an interview focused around Dane’s.  It helped keep the endorphins going because god knows I needed them!  A couple times going to lunch and saying “Hey Doug, I got a beer for you.”  I appreciate that and I look forward to paying it back now that I can.

That’s great.  I’m going to ask a question and if it happens to be a dark answer, I’ll just leave it out of the transcript- was Amanda helpful through all this?

Man, what are you talking about?!?!  She was my fucking rock dude!  She believed in me when I didn’t believe in me.  Up on the altar you talk the talk but this is where you walk the walk.  She walked the walk.  I wasn’t in a great mental health place to say the least and she was there to support me and to remind me that I am valuable- that I had a valuable skill set and was a good person and a husband.  That should have come from within, but when it didn’t it was coming from her and that was fucking awesome.

Yeah!  I feigned uncertainty when I asked the question, but I wasn’t really concerned about asking it. I don’t really know Amanda super well, but I would place good money on her being a woman of high character and empathy.  You talk about what is said on the altar and from my own experience, I had been dating Becca for like four years when my dad died very unexpectedly and the way she stood up and supported me during that time went a long way toward convincing me she was the bitch I gotta ride with.

My ride or die!

I don’t want to go through hard stuff without this person.  You have to have to have nicer stuff too- you have to think they’re a foxy babe and all that sort of stuff.

Oh yeah!  Man, we’re coming up on three years this year- let’s go!

You’re getting a PR on marriage duration!

*laughing* Right?  Plus 5lbs on the strict press and plus one day on the marriage.

You mentioned camaraderie being something you leaned on during the pandemic.  You’ve been a part of certain social institutions in the Shop orbit and “Whiskey Wednesdays” was one that stood out- is that still going?

It kind of died off when Freedman’s closed in something like 2018.  I remember it started right before my divorce and then right when it happened, it was well established enough that they were like, “Doug, come in, sit here, drink this” and started giving me unsolicited advice! *laughing*

*at this moment, dear reader, a very upset young man took a phone call sitting on the bench next to us and proceeded to start sobbing while speaking on his cell phone.  So Dougie and I decided to relocate to the inside of the Fusion room for the rest of the interview.  I hope all turned out well for my random sad fella!*

I’m always fascinated by the little fun sub-cultures at the Shop and events & traditions like Whiskey Wednesday.  Are there any other examples of this you’ve come across?

I’ve been over to the Blaser’s house (Robert and Laura- both current members and former SAS recipients), I’ve been to Jose-Luis’s house (Guerra- contender for athlete of the century, Dane’s personal life coach, and Dane’s mortal enemy) and honestly, I’d love to get in the social groups even more… and all I have to do is just ask.  

And you’re asking now!  When this interview hits, the invitations will just roll in.  

*the sad random man walks past the Fusion room door still composing himself as he appears to head back to work somewhere*

Good luck my man!

What do you think that was about?

It looks like he’s going back to work, so it isn’t that.  I’m worried he got some bad news about a family member or something.

What if he just had something posted on eBay and just got really hurt by how low the bids were?

*guffawing* Hey, maybe he is an artist and the bid just made him feel devalued?  Hell, that was me last year when I was interviewing- why don’t people see what I’ve got and why don’t they appreciate me?

Empathy- it is clear you’ve come away with even more empathy after that experience.  So obviously I asked the management team if they had questions for you and Dane’s response was to the effect of he has had so many conversations with you that he doesn’t think there is anything left to discuss.  My read is that it was a bullshit response and the subtext was “leave me alone, it is Saturday morning and I’m carting my kids around- I don’t have time to answer”.  So I’ll just pose this to you- can you list up to three things about yourself that would surprise Dane?  

I’ll start with something boring- I played Trombone in high school-

Did ya know that Dane?!?!?!

Maybe, I dunno!  He does know quite a bit about me.  Over the years, I forget how much shit I’ve told him.  My family actually has a musical legacy in middle Tennessee- my grandfather on my dad’s side won the inaugural governor’s cup for our home town high school in like 1967.  My uncle was a band director and my dad still plays trombone in some bands.

Before we transition into some random weirdo questions, do you have any goals in the gym or at life in general?

Starting at The Shop- I’ve been keeping track of my PRs in my notes app and even if I’m not at my best I’m still hitting those numbers.  Even at my age of thirty six, I’m still striving to meet those numbers and maybe even surpass them.  Maybe I’m misguided in thinking that because my body is falling apart…  Everyone over 36 is going to laugh at me right now-

*pointedly* A-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Right.  But I still believe my strongest self is ahead of me.  It is a marathon, not a sprint.  Outside of the gym, I’m in this new job and I’m growing into a leadership position.  Things are going really well; I’m early in this journey, but I’m not struggling to keep my head above water.  And on a larger level-

*Here, dear readers, Doug and I talked about some really cool personal goals of his that we decided to keep out of the interview transcript but, suffice it to say, this snippet of the conversation made me love the dude even more.  Interviewer privilege?  You bet your sweet ass!*

Well lets go ahead and transition from that mystery box in the interview to some random questions.  Let’s pretend that every time someone walks into class at The Shop, a theme song plays so that even if people aren’t looking, they hear it and are like “Oh cool, Doug’s here!”.  What is that song for you?

*sighs* It is the song “Big Poppa” by The Notorious B.I.G.  Yeah, my email might include that song and the year in which I graduated high school.  Back in 2012, I signed up at The Shop using an email I created in high school.  So I still have coaches who will be like, oh wow, Big Poppa is here!   *no, dear readers I pointedly did not tell Doug he can change his email address whenever he likes*

Do you love it when we call you Big Poppa?

Every time!

Does Amanda call you Big Poppa?

*laughing* No she doesn’t!

That is probably for the best- it speaks highly over your marriage.  A question I always incorporate in election years is: we have a big sprawling community here- who would you want to run for President of the United States?

Easy, Beth Reyburn.  She gets shit done.

She’s Canadian, so she is technically not eligible, but for the sake of the exercise I will allow it.  Talk through the case.

I feel like she would be very connected with her constituents- I see how she goes out of the way in class to talk to people and at the end of the class asks them what they are doing today.  She is empathetic and that is a good base in and of itself.  She’s very productive and good at managing things.

Any members?  Let’s say you nominate a member to be VP.

The first name that jumps to mind is Marc Sturdivant-

Oh!

Yes, I think they’d be a very dynamic duo.  They would be a good balance-

You want your vice president to have a better whiskey tolerance than the president-

Yes! Any time shots come, Beth can pass it off to Marc and he’ll be able to take it and do it again.  

I’d vote for that!  What is your favorite swear word?

Ooooh!  I like all of them even though I’m trying to curse less.  Oh man… let’s go with the classic “fuck”.  It is so versatile.  It is the curse word I say the most at Dane’s just like “Ooooh fuck!” or “fuck me!”.  Yeah, it is fuck.

Ok, a movie of your life is being made- what are some examples of songs we would hear on the soundtrack?

Let me look at my Spotify real quick…  You would most likely hear some older funk like Tower of Power and maybe some big band.  As time goes on, it would stay funky.  N’Sync’s “Payday” and you have to have “Big Poppa”.  Gotta have some Tennessee songs like “Wagon Wheel” or “Dixieland Delight”.  Feel good songs with no bad undertones.

On the note of songs, I’m cribbing this from one of my favorite podcasts- what song do you want to hear as you die?

Woof!  Actually that is super easy- Leon Bridges “Beyond”.  It is the final song we had at our wedding and it takes me back to our wedding every time.  Everyone was leaving and getting set up to make the arch outside with the sparklers and people were coming to clean up the tables.  We wanted the song to be playing when it was just the two of us.  My back was all sorts of sweaty because we had been dancing and she was sweaty and we didn’t care- we were just holding on to each other, knowing it was the perfect end to a perfect night.  This was the beginning of the rest of my life, and so I guess that is what I’d want to hear as it ended.

That is an awesome answer- I don’t think I’ve heard a better answer even on the actual podcast.

Every time I hear that song- and even just here talking about it- I tear up a little bit.

That is beautiful- as someone who has had a beautiful wedding, I get where you are coming from.  Wrapping things up, are there things you wanted to say that haven’t been said yet?  As Athlete of the Season, are there words you’d like to impart to those who come after you?

Sure!  When I first heard the news that I was Athlete of the Season, I laughed because I know that there are much more impressive athletes here- people with athletic backgrounds, who are running marathons, and doing other amazing things.  I thought to myself, “why did they choose you?”.  I think it is the same thing I tell myself and I say to Amanda- it is persistence.  As long as you show up- whatever goals you have will come and it will take time.  My first 3-5 years, I was the person in the back of the class and doing the workout the slowest.  I want to remind everyone that that is where I started and not to say that I’m where I want to be right now but if you find yourself in the back of the class, don’t be discouraged.  With perseverance, your  goals can be met and that is something I’ve proven myself; since I first walked through the doors I have lost and kept off sixty pounds-

Damn, that is awesome!

I still have a goal of getting to one hundred pounds.  12 years later, I still haven’t reached that goal, but that is okay.  It is all about persistence.

And I’ll add to that it isn’t just about showing up.  It isn’t just that you have been persistent for over a decade- though that is a big part of it.  The other part of it is that you haven’t just showed up to class, you’ve come with warmth and engagement.  Dear reader’s Doug showed up a little early for this interview and I was giving a tour and he didn’t go sit in the corner- he came over and basically helped me give the tour.  Like I felt I could have left and just let him show the potential member around himself!  Beth and I were both curious about how you coped with that awful year looking for work because you still showed up and it wasn’t just that.  We all kind of knew you were going through a tough time but it didn’t feel that way; you still engaged with people.  You didn’t hide what you were going through, but you walked that graceful balance between being real and also letting people in.  Hell, you should have been Athlete of the Season years ago, but what stood out this time was “This fucker isn’t just persistent, he can do this while dealing with extreme stress”.

Wow, yeah.  Thank you.  I’m glad that is how it came off and thanks to everyone for their grace; because it didn’t feel like I was coming off like that last year!

No one was ever sad to see Doug Tucker show up to the Shop- even in his darkest hours.

That’s good to hear because I needed it more than I realized.  It was a really large source of support.  You’re giving me credit, but I couldn’t have done it myself; I couldn’t have done it without Amanda, I couldn’t have done it without Dane, and I couldn’t have done it without the encouraging words from everyone else.

And with that dear readers, I’m calling this interview closed and I’m going to make Doug stand up and hug me!!!

Daniel & Trasi Judd: The Right Amount of Woo-woo

Daniel & Trasi Judd are absolute loyalists to the yoga program at Dane’s Body Shop.  Sure they attend Fusion and Strength classes regularly as well, but both make it a point to come to all three yoga classes each week.  So of course the vibes were on point when we headed over to the TacoDeli on Lamar right after the 10:30 am Saturday yoga class concluded on a beautiful November day.  Being all too aware of their cuddlesome habits, I positioned myself between them at the outdoor table to ensure that they could focus on giving thoughtful engaging answers rather than just moonily gazing into one another’s eyes.  Okay, it was actually them who gave me the middle seat because they are just that kind and welcoming.  Either way, my wife and daughter actually showed up halfway through and chimed in as well!  Read on to hear vastly different opinions on hand-holding during a workout!


Coach Chad:  I guess the most natural place to start an interview with a couple is how’d ya’ll two crazy kids get together?  Tell us the origin story.

Trasi Judd:  In college I met a girl in my Russian class named Marni and we became good friends-

Where was this?

TJ: At UT.  I was working a shit ton and didn’t have a lot of social going on and (Marni) dragged me along to hang out with her friends.  Her pile of friends included Daniel and I think we were friends for two years maybe before we started dating-

Okay, so very organic?

TJ: Yes, a very organic meeting through friends.

Did this group of friends have an activity they centered around?

TJ: Drinking beer.

Daniel Judd:  And the band too!

TJ:  Half of them were in a band called “Banana Blender Surprise” that had a residency at a bar that was back then called “The Black Cat”.

Nice!  Daniel, anything to add to that?

DJ:  It was nice that it was organic, that we knew each other first.

Ya hear that kids?  You don’t have to meet one another on an app!  People were still getting together before the iphone was invented!  Well you have a daughter in college now, so you’ve had to have been together for some time?

TJ:  30 years together, 27 married.

How many more do you think you have left?

TJ:  Um, all of them.

DJ:  *Big laughter*

That is a great answer and not surprising.  What did you guys study at UT?

TJ: My undergrad was liberal arts with a focus in German and an MBA.

DJ:  Economics and an MBA.

Both MBAs- cool!  Did you get them at the same time?

TJ:  I went first.  I was working at a semi-conductor fabrication company in town and I couldn’t be promoted without an MBA, so I worked and got the degree.  It was a means to an ends for me.  Daniel was looking at my books the whole time fascinated and I told him he was the one that should be getting the MBA!

What do you think is different between your temperaments that made him the more MBA suited person?

DJ:  She’s more on the creative side and (the MBA material) is like the opposite of being creative.  I’m probably more on the analytical side.

Speaking of Trasi’s creativity, is it true that you painted the Dane’s Body Shop logo at the old Hyde Park location?

TJ:  It is!

How’d that come to pass?

TJ:  I don’t remember how it came to pass, but Dane was talking about wanting it on the wall and I said I’d do it and he offered to give me a certain number of free classes if I did.

Can we run that back at the new place?

TJ:  I’ve offered Dane like 5 times!

Dane has like three dozen children, so it may take a 6th time.  Now that I’m on the case, we’ll make it happen!  How about you Daniel, any artistic outlets.

DJ:  I don’t think so!  I sit at a desk all day, so my outlet is more like what can I do to get outside- to get moving.  After this we’re going to go on a bike ride and then we’re going to go over to Anna’s (yoga coach Anna Reynal who had a showing in the East Austin Art Tour a couple weeks ago!).

Hence your extreme regularity at the Shop?

DJ:  Absolutely!

Nice.  So biking- what else do you do?   I do have to call out that you two always bike to Tuesday evening yoga at Manor even in the dead of Summer.  I love it!

TJ:  We love traveling.

Coach Jess wanted to know what are some of the best places you’ve traveled to lately.

TJ:  We loved going to Japan- we did that because our kiddo was super into Japan.  It wasn’t on either of our bucket lists, but we have been like 5 times and love it. It is delicious, quiet, safe, beautiful; everything you’d want as a visitor somewhere.

How much is the Japanese bureau of tourism paying you to say this?

TJ:  Nothing!  It is just a perfect adult Disneyland.

DJ:  Just to build on that, Trasi and I hadn’t even considered Japan and then Alexa came to us when she was fairly young and said she was interested, so we told her to give us a proposal.  She came back with a power point because sadly she knows her parents.

TJ: *Big Laughter*

How old was she when she did this?

DJ:  Thirteen?  That is how we knew that she was serious about it.  She did research and had recommendations.  I applauded her for understanding her audience.

That is very cool- that is a special kiddo.  Any target for where you are going to go next?

TJ:  *diabolically* Oh yes!  We just found a killer deal on tickets to New Zealand and are going at the end of February for three weeks and change.

Are you guys Lord of the Rings people?  Are you going to hit The Shire?

TJ:  Well the Shire is in the North Island and we will be on the South Island primarily, but there are scenes that were filmed in the South that you can visit.

Very good.  Okay, we have to touch on snakes-

DJ:  Oh boy, get ready!

You mentioned that you got into snakes via your daughter right?  How did that start?

TJ:  Well, there was a reptile club at the high school and they fell in love with a corn snake there and begged and begged for it.  At first I was like hell no– I wanted nothing to do with that.  Then I had a little parenting talk with myself and decided I shouldn’t be dictating their experience based on my preferences.  So I asked them to jump through these hoops to show they were serious and they did it!  So we ended up picking up a corn snake at the end of 2017.  Shortly after that, we went to an expo and came home with a ball python.  Now we have four ball pythons and a corn snake.  At first I didn’t want to get them out of their cage- I didn’t know if they would bite me, I didn’t know anything about them.  I started joining facebook groups when there were issues with the snake and learned a vast quantity of stuff and now have my own facebook group.

Oh you host a facebook group?

TJ: I have a facebook group with 45,000 people in it.  I have a team of about 23 admin that help me run it and I have a training course to train mentors to work one on one with and I’ve written a book.

Oh wow!  Is this a monetized endeavor?

TJ:  It is unfortunately not yet.

The book is going to open that door I’m sure.  What is it about?

TJ:  How to take care of ball pythons because I can’t reach everyone from my facebook group.

That is incredible- I had no idea you were that involved with snakes.  You’ve very kindly sent in shedded snake skins for me to hand off to my wife to bring to Thinkery.  They are not small skins, how big are your snakes? 

TJ:  They are all about 3-4 feet.

Okay.  Have you ever been bit by one?

TJ: Um, yes.

DJ:  You can’t see because the chair is in the way, but there is one right there *Daniel is showing me the live feed of their snake room!

Oh wow!  That is an incredibly tastefully decorated snake room!  Did the biting hurt?

TJ:  I wouldn’t say it hurt, but I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  They bleed because there is an anticoagulant in their saliva.  So it bleeds, but I wouldn’t say it hurts.  They’ve got tiny little needle teeth though, so they can really slice in there!

That is wild!  Do you have a target for when the book will be out?

TJ:  I’m hoping early next year.

That has to be a super time consuming hobby.

Not really. I change their water every other day, clean their enclosures every 6 weeks, feed them every 3 weeks.  In the evening I’ll let any of those that are interested come out.  I have exercise centers so for them, like a cat tree and a jungle gym for them to climb on-

So they are like jacked snakes?  Daniel, are you also in on the snake thing or do you have a different diversion?

DJ:  Different diversion- I support as needed.  For me it has really been running and biking.  Prior to covid I had been doing half marathons, so that was really my focus- building up to that.

How’d you get into half marathons?

DJ:  This is why kids are wonderful and you’ll experience this.  One day I woke up and was worried Alexa would want to do a 5k and I wouldn’t be able to do it, so I just started getting on the treadmill and  every day was just building up.  It was a good example of the importance of good habits.

And you’re also a big soccer fan right?

DJ:  I am!  We were in Houston last weekend for the Houston Dynamo Salt Lake Real match and that was a blast.

Did you play soccer as a younger person?

DJ:  I did, terribly, but yes.  I was an excellent defender.

I respect that.  That has usually been my lane in any team sport- the guy who tries real hard on defense.  So in general were you two athletic as young people?

TJ:  Not at all and that is why I think it is actually hilarious that we’re having this interview- I’m not anyone’s idea of an athlete.  When we started dating we did a lot of biking- mountain biking and around town.  That kind of slowed down when we had our kiddo but then eventually we started putting the kiddo in a trailer and doing evening bike rides.  That started a pattern of us just exploring all over on our bikes.  Recently I got an e-bike so it kind of allows me to keep up with this guy- when he is on his road bike I can’t even keep up with him on the e-bike.

To what do you ascribe your ungodly bike power Daniel?

DJ:  *Big laughter* Joy.

So you’re fueled by joy?

DJ:  Now there might be a margarita or a beer involved too.

TJ:  We usually have a destination ride where we will ride our bike to somewhere for a drink or a taco or something.  He turns into the energizer bunny if you put a margarita in him- just blasting home.

Friends at home, my wife and daughter have entered the chat!  Becca, Trasi is writing a book about snakes!

Becca Drew Ramsey:  Oh yeah, I heard about that!  How is it going?

TG:  I’m in the editing phase!

BDR:  That is so exciting!

Daniel, you are one of the most blonde people I know-

DJ:  Yes, it is out of a bottle.

TJ:  *wild laughter*

Wait, what?  It is?  I had no idea.

TJ:  He’s naturally blonde but it is brighter because of that.

I love it.  Well I’m going to do this next bit anyway- I want you to react to my favorite blonde joke.  This blonde went to the hair salon and got her hair dyed red.  She was really excited about it so she went for a nice long drive out in the country with the top down on her convertible.  She’s having a great time then she sees a field of sheep.  She gets out of the car and is just watching them and then the shepherd comes up to her, smiles slyly, and playing with her says that if she can guess exactly how many there are she can have one.  She looks out and guesses 587.  His mouth just drops open- he can’t believe it.  He’s crestfallen, but he is a man of his word, so he tells her she can pick one out.  She walks among them for a while and picks one out and returns.  He looks at the one she has chosen and just says “well, that was a helluva guess.  Say, if I can guess what color your hair was before you dyed it red, can I have my dog back?”.

DJ:  *Wheezing laugh*. Well played!  

He laughed!  Good!  Do you have any favorite blonde jokes Daniel?

DJ:  Oh I’m sure I do, but none committed to memory.

TJ:  I’ve got a sheep story!  We have a friend from Glasgow Scotland and she would work in the summers at the festivals. The festivals would bring in people from the rural parts.  She worked in the beer tent and apparently the rural people would often make a pass at her.  She said the best line she ever got was when a farmer was getting a beer and then said “honey, if I had a sheep with eyes like yours I’d never leave home”.

*Big laughter all the way around*

We probably don’t want to unpack that one too much!  Now, I have had to institute a no hand holding policy with my wife when we are working out-

DJ:  Oh are we not supposed to do that?

Oh no no!  I love it when other people do it- I just don’t like it.  It kills my testosterone.

BDR:  But I do it anyway.

Yeah, it is not consensual- I am probably in a problematic relationship.  You two hold hands all the time.  One of my favorite photos is you two holding hands during a yoga pose. In general you are just very together during class.  Does that closeness come from both of you or is one of you a Becca and one of you a Chad?

TJ: *laughing*. I’ll let Daniel answer that!

DJ:  It is kind of like breathing- I haven’t really even thought about it.  We just do it.

That is beautiful!

TJ:  I would say he initiates it, but I am very receptive.

BDR:  See it is beautiful!

When they do it!  I love it when they do it.  

TJ:  I would imagine there is heavy eye rolling.

I really don’t think so because it is so organic.  Do you two have any gym goals that you’re working on?

TJ:  For me, I had a sour taste in my mouth from my previous time (at Dane’s Body Shop).  As much as I love Dane, I wasn’t thrilled with some of the early coaches.

We talked about this off mic- when were you originally at The Shop?

TJ:  From like 2011-2013?

And he initially opened in 2010, so those were very early days.  What was the difference between that experience then and this experience now?

TJ:  There were just some coaches at the time that were a lot more aggressive and they pushed me.  I was younger and didn’t have enough sense of myself to push back and tell them, “no, I’m good”.  I have things I’ve always had to modify and Dane was really good about helping me to avoid triggering problems that I had but some of the coaches would push me to the point that I’d injure myself so that I’d be out for a month.  So eventually I was like, you know what I am just going to run and bike.  Then (Daniel) started going several years ago-

DJ:  Covid.  I’m a direct result of covid!  I used to workout at the gym in my office and then it shut down.

So covid gave us Daniel?  At least that is one good thing!

TJ:  He kept telling me that it wasn’t like what it was- that it was a kinder gentler place.  It was right around 2 years ago and I enjoy it a lot more so my goal was to make it to class regularly enough that I would miss it when I was away.

Have you achieved that?

TJ:  I think so!  It bugs me when I miss a class- I try to find another one to put in its place. 

DJ:  I’m really impressed by the journey that Dane and Dane’s Body Shop has taken.  He was really interested in helping people but then some of the people he hired had it verging toward a Crossfit- which I don’t think was what his spirit was.  But now it has evolved to have a do what you can do feel which is really neat.

TJ: Yeah, like my doctor said not to do overhead stuff anymore because I have shoulder issues and every single one of the coaches will give me an alternative to how I can work out that muscle group without the same intensity.  But the intensity is still there for those who want to go balls to the wall.

That is good to hear!  That is definitely the goal.  Daniel, can you talk about the difference between working out at a place like your office gym when you’re by yourself and working out at a place like The Shop.

DJ:  That is a very good question- particularly after covid.  There is a sense of community that you don’t have at a traditional gym.  You’re kind of all in it together.  There is usually a good crew in each class and you notice when someone isn’t there.  The last couple years we have had small groups of people we could hang out with and at Dane’s there is such a vibrant and diverse group of people; you’re getting reintroduced to the idea of being around people.

Absolutely.  I think part of the reason I stayed sane during the pandemic is that my job forced me to be around a wide variety of people.  Along those lines, you two obviously vibe with one another exceptionally- are there other folks at the gym you vibe with?

TJ:  We absolutely adore Coach Mark. He was around in the early days, just working out and eventually became a coach.  He is a super genuine human and we love him.  I like Jess a ton. I’d done yoga in the past and it was a lot more “capital letter yoga”. Which was fine, but then there were the hyper competitive yoga people-

I can bend better than you!

TJ:  What I love about (yoga at The Shop) is that there is a little bit of the woowoo, but not over the top.

The right amount of woowoo?

TJ:  The right amount of woowoo combined with flexibility and exercises offsetting what hurts with the body.  Jess tailors her program to what people need extra help with.  It complements what the other workouts are.

You mentioned having injury considerations, have you found that taking the yoga class has helped you to avoid injury?

TJ: I’ve been going for two years and I haven’t had anything that I would call an exercise preventing injury- sore shoulders occasionally, but nothing because of Dane’s just because I’m old.  I haven’t injured myself and I would say it is because of yoga and just the other accommodations in class.

That is great.  Daniel, any shout outs for you?

DJ:  Joel, Kirsten, Jack- so many good people there. 

Absolutely!  Okay, I wanted to do a little newly wed game thing here.  Basically I’m going to ask you a series of questions and rather than answer for yourself, you’re going to answer for the other person to see how close you can get.  What is your favorite book of all time?

TJ:  That is difficult.  I’ve never heard him really crow about a specific book, but he does avidly read a certain genre- if it is in space, he will read it.

DJ: It’s true!  For her, my first thought is she just wrote a book, so that one!

I don’t know, that could make it her least favorite book at the moment.

DJ:  It has certainly changed over time.  There was probably a time when it was the classics or something in german.  But now I would say something about making snake’s lives better.

TJ: There are a lot of different things, but I would say that is the most likely.  I have a book that is almost like a text book on reptile medicine and surgery.

Wow- are you qualified to perform snake surgery at this moment?

BDR: *Huge laughter*

TJ:  No, but I am qualified to help diagnose when there is a particular issue or whether they should bring it into a vet.

Okay, next question-

BDR: But what about your favorite book?

Becca, this isn’t about me!

BDR: Well you have to say mine though because then I don’t get to play!

TJ & BJ: *Big laughs

This isn’t about you either- this is their interview!  Another quick easy one- what is your favorite food?

TJ:  Barbecue!

DJ:  Correct!  Tacos for her- I didn’t want to pick crème brûlée.

TJ:  That is my favorite dessert, but I’d say my favorite food is just any kind of fruit.

That is actually good.  If the two choices were barbecue and tacos, you’d officially be the most Austin couple of all time- I’m glad we got a curve ball!  Okay, so-

BDR:  Wait, wait wait!  I work with kids and whenever a kid asks me my favorite food, I say brussels sprouts- I love them I really do- but my real favorite food is butter.

TJ:  That is valid.

DJ:  One of my favorite stories of our daughter Alexa was maybe when she was 5 and it involved a brewery festival on the east side.  Fat Tire Brewery had a little bike parade and Alexa was out there on a little tricycle and she ended up at the end because everyone else is on regular bikes and then there were 5 cop cars right behind her just making sure she was safe.

TJ:  In her little fairy wings!

That is freaking adorable!

BDR:  I have a question!  I always take yoga with you two- what is your favorite yoga pose?

DJ:  You’re assuming I’ve memorized the names of the poses!  I’m guessing child’s pose because it is good for the back.

TJ: You’re close with the back part.  I like any of the torso twisting ones- arms out in a T and your legs go to the side.  That stretch is extremely restorative to my back.  I think he’s the kind of guy that likes the things that are the hardest, so probably something like the gate leg pose-

DJ:  Which one is that?

TJ:  Basically you have one leg like- *Trasi indicates the pose with gestures

DJ:  Oh yeah, that one is fun!  That is pretty true.  If it is something you do in a five year old tumbling class- it is going to be super fun.

Again, answering for one another, what is your greatest fear?

TJ:  *Gasps* Probably the classic dying and leaving his daughter alone.

DJ:  I think there is some truth to that.  I think you hit a joint fear we have- that we want our daughter to be successful.  I’m blessed.  My dad just passed away and we all got to come together. I’ve got two sisters and we are all doing well- we all have good relations.  They’re with the same guys they have been with forever. I just want (Alexa) to build upon that happiness in her own life.  My fear is her not having that.  I think that would be similar for your fear.

TJ:  Yeah.  Basically I feel like I still have a role in helping this child really launch.  Yeah, they’re in their own apartment and they can get food for themselves, but there are still the constant touch backs: “My car has a flat tire, what do I do?”  all those things.  When we grew up the world was a different place.  I worked and put myself through college.  This generation doesn’t launch as early- the world is different, the financial picture is different.  Things that I did, you can’t actually do today!  This child came of age to get a job when covid happened and so hasn’t worked a day in their life so it will be interesting to see how that works out!  I’m just worried if there were anything to happen that I wouldn’t be here to help guide them through.

So what you’re saying *gesturing toward my 7 month old daughter* is the clock I have in my head of 17 years and 5 months and done to go isn’t accurate-

TJ:  It doesn’t work that way.  All the expectations you have about the timeline are false.  I thought I’d stay at home with her until she goes to kindergarten then go back to work.  

Nope! She is out of school at 2:45pm- what am I going to do with her for the rest of the work day?  I didn’t go back to work until she was in middle school.

Alas!  Lighter question here- who is the celebrity crush?

TJ:  I can’t answer this for him because any time I’ve ever asked that he doesn’t have one.  He’ll say he only has eyes for me which is goofy because I definitely have two!

BDR:  *Huge laughter*

DJ:  Sean Connery-

TJ: No!

DJ: And the Star Trek Captain-

TJ:  Yes!  Jean Luc Picard is one of them and Alton Brown is the other one-

DJ:  So I’m set if I ever start losing my hair.

BDR:  I was on Alton Brown instagram right before yoga!  And I had a Picard poster in my locker in high school. I love Patrick Stewart.

If there was another career path, any career other than the one they currently have, what would it be?  No limits.

DJ:  Earlier in life, she was definitely going to work for the CIA.

TJ:  I was, I wanted to go into military intelligence.  But then the (Berlin) wall fell the year I got my degree and they didn’t need that anymore.

Damn you Mr. Gorbachev!

TJ:  A “Sliding Doors” path would have been that there was a moment I could have become a linguistics professor- someone who studies the concept of language.  Fascinating subject.  I would say Daniel would be a political strategist.

DJ:  There is some truth to that!  The challenge is that it is 100% workish- I would pick something more life affirming.  What I’d like to do is have a small business in a small community that could build roots and really be an integral member of that community.  The company on Trasi’s shirt-

Mountain Merman?

TJ: Mountain Merman Brewing Company!

DJ:  A man and his wife basically quit their big jobs and started a very small brewery in a town with 1800 people.  They are hoping in 18 years it is going to be something very successful.  They want to raise their family in that community and give back.  It is a lot of work, but really affirming.

That isn’t dissimilar from what one Dane Krager set out to do.  That is a nice place to wrap up the newly wed game- now you can answer for yourselves.  Both of you are now in the hallowed halls of the athlete of the season.  You’re in the pantheon- you’re basically gods.  What that we have not covered would you like for the peons reading your magnificent words to know?

TJ:  If I can go as often as I can go, literally anyone can do it.  Just make yourself do it for six months and then it will be a habit and you will miss it when you’re unable to come.

That sounds simple, but it is hard to create a habit like that.  Do you have any secrets for creating that habit?

TJ:  It helped that (Daniel and I) were accountable to one another.  If one of us didn’t want to go the other would be like “get your ass up!”.  That helps a ton-

I think that is a huge value to the community- that people notice when you’re not there.  You don’t have to be married to your accountability partner, but viewing the community as your partner.

TJ: Yeah! Even finding a partner that goes to class at the same time as you.  The other might sound trite, but just talking to yourself and saying “don’t be lazy- just go”.  If I’m not feeling it one morning that is fine, but then I ask myself what class are you taking instead?  If you don’t want to get up in the morning I get it, but okay you are doing a class in the afternoon or you’re going tomorrow.

That is good!  You’re giving yourself some grace, but not letting yourself off the hook completely.  I think that is actually very practical.  Good words!  Tough act to follow Daniel.

DJ:  It is!  I think Dane’s is an interesting social experiment- the kind of people it attracts.

What have you observed about the kind of people we attract?

DJ:  They may be intense about things, but they seem to have that intensity in check.  Everyone has a story- they’ve lived an interesting life.  Something about what ya’ll have created is it brings this group together.  I really appreciate the effort that ya’ll make to get people to break down barriers and not be shy.

TJ:  Yeah, it is okay to talk in yoga!  That is usually forbidden in yoga.

It sure is, ya’ll get quite chatty in yoga I’ve noticed.  Becca- anything to add?

BDR:  No, it isn’t my interview!  

DJ: Oh!

BDR:  Your favorite book is “Team of Rivals”

That is probably my favorite non fiction.  Doris Kearns Goodwin’s biography of Lincoln’s cabinet. Very good Becca.  Very good.

Sarah Stich: We Were Sharing A Rack & We Got to Talking

Our Second Autumn Spotlight Athlete and I both reside in North Central Austin and so for our interview, we decided to check out the relatively new Walnut Creek Pub on North Lamar.  The music was bumpin’ and the crowd was lively, but for a magical hour it was as though she and I and my trusty recording device (read: out-dated iphone) were the only entities in the universe.  Sarah Stich nêe Norkin has made an outsized imprint on the Shop for years and so it was a particular delight to crack this Buc-ees nut open and explore her approach to weaving together fitness and socialization as well as the ideal gas-stop shopping list!

Coach Chad:  This interview is an overdue occasion to say the least!  I received a couple enthusiastic questions from other coaches to ask you, so right off the top Coach Autumn wanted to know if you were to prioritize your most essential beverages in a beverage buffet, what would the order be?

Sarah Stich:  Oh my gosh!  Highest priority beverage has to be something with bubbles- a sparkle water is probably first.  And next-

Follow up question- favorite sparkling water?

I went through a phase of all the Waterloo flavors and now I’m back at plain HEB sparkling water.

Cool!  A woman of the people.

Yeah, you can add flavors to it.  I like to add bitters to mine for a quasi cocktail, but not really.  Um… I think coffee would be next.

Keep going down the buffet.

Then probably an alcoholic beverage.

*Gesturing to Sarah’s current bevvie* Would it be an old -fashioned?

It would be an old fashioned or a glass of wine.

Do you have a favorite varietal of wine?

Yes, I would like a pinot noir from the Willamette Valley.

Oh my!  Is there anything else on this buffet?  How deep are we going?  Are we getting to chocolate milk?

No…. The buffet that Autumn is referring to is a 3-4 beverage buffet.  When Autumn and I go to the movies together, we order a beverage buffet.  We would have a water, and then a fun beverage, and then a prosecco.

Oh!  Well then I’m going to pop one of my questions in here- talk to me about your cinephilia.

Oh my gosh!  So I go to the movies all the time.  I have the season pass to the Alamo DraftHouse.  I will see almost any movie; I saw the Sonic the Hedgehog movie because I have an Alamo pass.

Wow!  Did you enjoy it?

Oh no- it was awful!

But do you enjoy the experience anyway?

Yeah cause then we get to laugh about how bad the movie is later.

Now by we, you are referring to your husband Nick right?

Yes I have two passes.

I thought you were about to say you had two husbands!

*laughing* I usually bring Nick, but if he is out of town or someone texts me about a movie they really want to see I will bring them.

Who are some of the people who have made the cut and received your 2nd ticket?

Um… Maddie (Holland- DBS Member), I think Lisa Landry (another DBS member) has gone with me, LaShea Townsend (DBS member and spotlight athlete from 2015!)- not that many people have actually hit me up. My friends should let me know about movies they want to see.

Readers take note!  Ok- question from Beth Reyburn: where did your love of Bucc-ee’s originate?

It was kind of random.  I think on a couple of work trips we would stop on the way to San Antonio and I was just amazed by how ridiculous it is.  You can buy a bucket of bacon grease at a Bucc-ee’s.

Really?  I’ve seen the beaver, but I don’t think I actually know what Bucc-ee’s is.

You’ve never been???  It is a gas station with like 80 pumps but it isn’t a truck stop so it is just regular cars.  On the inside, they are well known for their clean bathrooms with full floor to ceiling stalls.  It is like if Walmart and 7 Eleven had a baby- they have a deli, they have barbecue, they have beef jerky, there is a whole wall of gummy treats.

It sounds overwhelming.

It is overwhelming!  You go in there for the first time and you have no idea what happened.  You realize, after reflection, what you should have done.  You develop a pattern of the items you want.

Can you talk about your pattern?

Yes!  If it is in the morning, I go for a breakfast taco and then I usually get beef jerky and various gummies of choice- sometimes it is peach rings and sometimes it is rainbow strips.  If I go there around Christmas time, I buy the most ridiculous small items I can find for stocking stuffers.

Another question from Autumn: she wanted to know if the high preponderance of red-headed coaches at The Shop was a motivating factor for you working out here.

No it wasn’t, but it was a pleasant surprise.  My first year in Austin, Nick and I were long distance- 

And we should mention that your husband Nick is a ginge-

Yes, he is a fiery ginger just like yourself.  It was nice to see a ginger when we were long distance.  

Before we get into learning your full Shop origin story, can you give me just a brief Sarah bio.  Where did you come from and how did you get here?

I am from Pasadena, California.  Before I came to Austin, I went to school at Tulane in New Orleans and I applied for jobs everywhere around the country and ended up securing a job in Austin working in public health and that is how I went from California to New Orleans to Austin.

Is there a specific thing you do in the field of public health?

Yes.  I am an epidemiologist-

So not an exciting or relevant job at all to have these past three years or so?

Exactly.  Super boring.  Not stressful at all.

Right right.  Okay, so Shop origin story, how’d you end up at DBS?

My first job in Austin was right across the street from the old Hyde Park location.  I think I could see when I walked to my car people working out across the street.  I was impressed with what people were doing over there because I had actually never done barbell or kettlebell stuff before.

Did you play sports in high school?

I played soccer and I swam but that is really the extent of it.  I was always active, but I’d never done any of the weightlifting stuff before.  I happened to live on like 38th and Avenue B, so I think I walked by a couple times as well.  Then finally I decided to call and I set up a tour.  So then I did the fundamentals course and that was it- I just went along with it.

We’re talking what- 2015?

Yep!

You showed up not long after I did.

And I never left!  I paused my membership for 3 months when I did the bodybuilding competition.

Right!  Before we move on, can you just give a couple thoughts on the bodybuilding thing?

It was really hard- it was a feat of mental and physical everything.  The dieting sucked sooo hard; I remember just starving all the time.  I did fasted cardio before work, I would go to work, then get off work and go back to the gym for a weighted workout.  I had like no social life for 3 months!  At the end of it I felt great, but it was just such an extreme experience.  I don’t think I could ever do that again.

What lessons have you taken from that experience?

Um…  Extremes are not fun and they are not good for you, but at the same time I know I can do hard things if I set my mind to it.  I know I have the will power and determination to conquer hard things.  I’m not someone who likes to be in the spotlight so having to put on a sparkly bikini and pose and turn around and show off my butt *laughing* that was just…

Yeah, I’m a certified nutrition coach and I would never want to work with a bodybuilder.  What they have to do is so insane.  Okay, so something that stands out about you is that you’re a very sociable person at The Shop; you have a lot of friends in class.  If you were to write a book about making friends at the place you work out, what are some of the tips you would offer?

I am surprised that people feel that way- I feel very shy meeting new people.

Maybe not new people, but you’ve clearly made friends.

Yeah, one of my greatest friends LaShea!  If the vibe is right, sharing a rack with someone is a good way to introduce yourselves. I think that is how she and I met- we were sharing a rack and we got to talking.

I’m going to take a second and underline that because I’ve been trying to get people to start sharing again but after Covid we got out of the habit of doubling up on racks.  There are so many benefits to sharing.  Aside from the social element, you can share in the labor of loading the bar.  But the social thing is the big thing.  That is a great point- what else would you say?

I mean I always just want to point out- identify your local ginger like Lauren Lichterman!  They are usually the one that is going to welcome you in with open arms.  And develop a routine where you go to the same classes once you are established.  The same people will be there and you’ll get to know them over time.  Develop a routine, share with others.  I am always intimidated to partner with someone during a partner workout, but I always end up having a good time.

That’s good!  Ok, so you’ve competed in most of our different mini-meets at some point over the years- do you have any favorite mini-meet memories?

The most recent one was probably one of my favorites.  Um… because I got 2nd place.

The Strong Person Mini-Meet right?

Yes.  And that is just really fun-

What is fun about it?  Because I think it is fun but painful also.

Yeah, it is fun but it was exhausting- I’ve never been so tired as I was afterward.  Never in your life are you going to tell people that you towed a car with your body.  It doesn’t matter if you get first or last, or whatever- you did it, you have pictures of it, and people are blown away regardless.  I feel my best self when I’m doing strong things- I am just very impressed with myself when I pick something up and set it back down with the right form.

Absolutely- it is primal.  Any more distant memories?  Because we’re talking almost a decade of you at The Shop.

There was a Brains and Brawn where we had to run around the neighborhoods around Manor doing different things and I dragged a friend with me to that one and she has promised to never workout with me again!  There was one Brains & Brawn I did with LaShea and Kian (Razi- another beloved former member) where there was real trivia and I was just blown away by how much Kian knew.

There are many reasons that it is egregious you haven’t been a Spotlight Athlete yet, but the fact that one of our standards is “do they do stuff outside of class?” and you do so much makes it insane.  Ok so, Dane and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago about how we could be better as coaches and he asked me straight up, “what do you think you could be better at?”.  My response was along the lines that I felt really good about coaching new and intermediate athletes, but super advanced people- sometimes it is hard to give them tips.  He said that he felt the same way and used the example of you doing a clean and not knowing what to say because it is so beautiful.  You were the exemplar in our conversation about someone who has mastered these lifts.  A. do you feel like you’ve accomplished that level of mastery? and B. How’d you get there?

Once again, I had never done anything barbell related when I came to Dane’s and I fell in love with the Strength class and I think I’ve more or less consistently gone 3 days a week (or more obviously) for almost eight years.  That is crazy to think about, but I fully blame Keith for most of this.

DAMN YOU KEITH FOR MY EXCELLENT FORM!

Yes!  And I think at various stages of my time at the Shop I have had various groups of women in class.  In OG days I went to afternoon Strength when it was still in that tiny garage with 6 racks and it was (former DBS member and Coach) Brittany Parsons and Carla (former member Martin) and Natalie (former member Wyll)- Lisa too I think.  Going to that was a social hour plus everything else- it made it enjoyable and made me stick with it. I mean, my deadlift is my weakest lift but just thinking about going from where I was to being able to back squat 250lbs is just wild.

Underlining that- 250lbs and, dear readers, Sarah is not a large person.  Very impressive.  Can you point to one tip on one of the lifts that you’ve found to be useful?

One thing is not having my knees cave in on the back squat.  Actually one of my most recent tips came from Dane on the clean.  He noticed on my grip that my index finger was right where the smooth meets the rough part and he had me go a couple inches wider, so having my grip wider made it easier for me to get my elbows up.

And this was recent?  So he did find a way to help you?

Yeah.  Yeah!  And also lifting shoes really helps and you can’t underestimate a weight belt.  Particularly on days where you are feeling a little tired, it is good to have a little extra support.

It ties it into what you were previously saying about friends- sometimes you just need a little extra support!  Any goals you are currently working on?

My clean max was 160 and I’d really like to get to 175, but I’m starting to shift my mindset.  I’d still like to get pr’s (personal records), but I just want to make sure I am moving.  I’m not concerned about hitting the next pr, just getting my body moving and feeling strong you know? I used to feel sad if I didn’t break my pr, but now it is just like “oh well!”. 

I like that- the 2nd drink is on me if you’d like another.  Shall we pause here and pick back up?

Yeah!

 *PART 2!*

We’re back!  That was a tidy place to take a break because now I’d like to get into some totally non-gym related stuff.  You got married a year and a half, two years ago?

Yeah!  Um… over two years ago

Wow- but in Hawaii?

Yes, it was glorious!

Thoughts? Highlights? Recommendation?

It was incredibly chill because we did a Covid micro wedding- there were 6 of us there.  We were going to do Scotland with our close family and scotch tastings and highland games and then covid happened and we realized that wouldn’t be feasible.  We had a family vacation planned with my mom and two brothers in Hawaii, so I thought why don’t we just take one of those days and just happen to get married because my mom rented a house on the water and it was beautiful.  We had a couple miscommunications. The officiant was the kookiest guy on the island; he told us that he was hunting pigs right before the wedding and he wore no shoes, which is fine but when you meet your officiant for the first time you don’t picture just coming from hunting pigs and having no shoes on.  He had different options for the wedding and I’m not religious so I made some changes and he just got so confused during the actual ceremony because he hadn’t actually made the changes.  It was just a hot mess but it turned out fine.  We could see sea turtles in the ocean-

You can have the worst officiant ever as long as the scenery is beautiful huh?

Yes as long as you have the right booze and food and setting.

If you’re in Kauai.  I’ve officiated 20 or so weddings and have never had that level of backdrop to fall back on.  No offense to Ada Oklahoma…

It was really cool and now we have an excuse to go back.

Okay- describe your dogs.

I have two dogs- Dizzy and Pepper.  They are both mini Australian Shepherds.

How old are they?

Dizzy is six and Pepper is almost two.  They are crazy- they should be more trained than they are- but they are super sweet and loyal.  Maybe Dizzy isn’t that loyal, because she loves everyone that comes over.  Dizzy loves Pepper but not other dogs so much.  She isn’t the one that is going to be romping with other dogs at the dog park- that is Pepper.  Dizzy is the one going from human to human to get pets.  

What is their dynamic together?

Dizzy is sweet and sensitive and wants to cuddle and Pepper wants to get in trash cans- but she’s still a good dog!  Pepper is definitely the rambunctious kind of dog.

Is one more your dog and one more Nick’s?

Dizzy was my birthday present, but she is very much Nick’s dog.  They do cuddle sessions that I just don’t get and I just stare at it longingly and take photos of it and just know she will never be this sweet with me.

By the way Becca would very much relate to this because she is the one that insisted on a dog when we adopted Moose and right away he was my dog.  She campaigned hard for him and even after we adopted him for a few weeks I was wondering why the hell we did this as he was peeing on things.  But in a very short amount of time he was my special boy.

It is disgusting really when I see them together.  But I spent a lot of time training Pepper, so I feel like she listens to me more.

Here are some random questions!  I used to ask folks if they were to have dinner with any historical figure who would it be and now I’m upping the stakes- if you were to make dinner for someone, who would it be and what would you make?

Oh no!  What do I make best is the first question I guess-

Well that is interesting, do you start with what you make and let it guide you on who you have dinner with or the other way around?

Honestly, I’m secretly obsessed with the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce romance right now, so I think I’d want to make them dinner.  They are my age and I think it would be a fun night that my husband and I would both enjoy.  I think my most impressive thing that I can make right now is a Mushroom Wellington.

Mushroom Wellington?

Yeah, like Beef Wellington but with mushrooms!  But I don’t know that Travis Kelce would like that because I see him as a meaty person.

I dunno, I could see him eating… anything.

Okay, so the Mushroom Wellington and some nice wine and maybe some cheese and charcuterie appetizer; we’d just have a fun mid-thirties time together.

If there happens to be another chair at the table, I’m putting my hat in the ring.  Great answer- fantastic answer!  Make a new years resolution right now- not for yourself but for the Shop.  Give Dane’s Body Shop a New Year’s Resolution.

Something I’ve always wanted at The Shop is a thirty minute stretching class.  I know there is a fusion and warm up (segment), but you’re tired when you get to fusion so it would be nice to force yourself to do a dedicated stretch class.  For me, if I’m trying to (stretch) at home, I’ll stick to it for maybe a week but if there was an actual class I could go once a week.  The yoga classes are lovely and I need to go more but sometimes I don’t want to do poses, I just want to stretch.

I get you, I get you!  What is your favorite swear word?

*giggling* See you next Tuesday… *more sheepish giggling*

Yeah!  We all know what that means. 

When the moment is right, I know some people don’t like the word, but when it is very justified-

When it is right, it is right- I’m sorry!  Good for you. Alright, chunky or smooth peanut butter?

Smooth!

Thank you- chunky peanut butter is an illusion.  It is smooth peanut butter that has chunks added to it.

Right!  And at the same time I am not buying two jars of peanut butter and smooth is more versatile.  I’m not adding chunky peanut butter to my Pad Thai- you can crumble peanuts on top if you want that.

Thank you!  Similarly, toilet paper- over or under roll?

Over!

Thank you, thank you.  Sociopaths go under.

Also, on the note of toilet paper I have a PSA.  I buy toilet paper from “Who Gives a Crap?”, an eco-friendly bamboo toilet paper.  Is it the softest toilet paper?  No.  Is it strong toilet paper?  Yes!  So you won’t get tidbits on your fingers!

Tidbits or tidshits?

Both!  It is plastic free and I get it shipped to my house- no longer do I have to buy a huge thing of toilet paper and put it in my car.  

Great plug!  Last random question, and this may not be strictly hypothetical: let’s say there is a Dane’s Body Shop talent show and you are forced to enter, what is your talent?

The first thing I think of is that I really enjoy puns, so maybe I would write a punny poem to read aloud.

As someone who just said “tidshit”, I very much appreciate that.  So to conclude, Sarah Stich nêe Norkin is a consistent, longstanding, highly engaged, member and there are so many ways in which you have earned the Shop Athlete Spotlight.  You truly are part of the pantheon- you have ascended to a level so few have risen to and to which so many have aspired.  Given that elevated status, do you have any words of wisdom or final thoughts you’d like to share with your adulate public?

Umm… There are so many ways that Dane’s Body Shop has stayed the same but changes.  I feel like I have experienced different groups of people and the one thing I will say about Dane’s is that it brings people together and that I’ve been able to meet so many people that I don’t know that I would have in my normal life.  If you’re new to Dane’s Body Shop, don’t be afraid to say hi to people- the Strength class is not scary.  It looks scary, but once you start doing it, you’ll be so impressed with yourself.  If you’re ever scared, come find me and the group of ladies at the front of the class, ask us questions, ask your coach questions- I say that as someone who can be shy and takes a long time to work up the courage to hang out outside of the gym.  I’ve met some really great people.

Can I circle in on one thing you said?  At the beginning, you said that it has changed so much but stays the same.  Can you talk about that?

Yeah!  There are really great people at The Shop that, for whatever reason in their life, they move away or get a new job so you only get to experience them for a period of time but the gym itself stays the same- you’re still going to Strength, you’re still going to Fusion, you’re still doing the mini-meets.  People aren’t there forever so you have to cherish those moments- I’m friends with a whole new group of people from when I started!  The changing tides of life where people come and go, The Shop is always the same- there is always Keith, there is always Chad, there is always Dane!

And to that point, Dane and I have these deep existential conversations from time to time and he has made it clear to me that he wants Dane’s Body Shop to continue even if something were to happen to him.  If he were to ever go away, he would want the place to be there and just as awesome even if he weren’t there.  It was interesting that you said that.  When I left in 2017, I worked hard to make sure my absence wasn’t felt- I wanted it to be the same incredible place.

Yeah!  Sometimes the coaches change- like Beth was a member and now she’s a coach *editor’s note: technically true of both of our beloved Beths*.  It is a place I know that I can always go!