Fernando and I grabbed a chill cup of coffee on a cold January morning down the street from our Manor Road location at Thunderbird Coffee.  As you’ll see, I came into the interview with some high priority questions and Fernando didn’t disappoint in sating my curiosities.  Of course the most entertaining moments in these interviews are the surprises though.  Read on and learn a bit about what makes this perpetually positive and energetic 6:30am standby tick!

I’m very much fascinated by your participation in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, so I wanted to be selfish and start there.  What I wanted to do is kind of sneak in a little bit of your back story into the tale of you and Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Absolutely!  I’ve got to step back to when I was like eight years old.  My parents had just got a divorce and my dad got a scholarship to come to U.T.  One thing he told my mom was that “he has to learn how to defend himself”.  So my mom put me in karate- I was already into Bruce Lee and to martial arts.  So in 1984-

You started karate in the 80’s?  So you basically are Daniel San!

Yes!  The sensei would make us run barefoot through the city- I think he’d get sued today.

Oh yeah!

In ’88 there was a big crisis with the dictator (Fernando is from Panama!) and my parents wanted me back in martial arts, so they put me in Taekwondo and I stayed there until I was in my early thirties.  I came here and I was part of the national team and I owned a school for a while with some friends- I was really involved.  I was looking for a hobby- at this point martial arts wasn’t just a hobby- and a friend suggested we go to an MMA fight.  There was this really little guy just beating up on everybody with jiu-jitsu.  I thought “that guy is as skinny as me, but he’s beating even the big dudes!”

So what year are we in now?

2002.  I found a pamphlet for who would eventually become my first (jiu-jitsu) instructor.  I told my dad that I wanted 3 months of jiu-jitsu fees for my birthday and he surprised me by actually giving me that and a uniform.  I ended up back in Austin and started training in 2010 and in 2015 is when I found the team that I train with right now.  It is a very competitive team and so I decided to try competing myself and it triggered the competitive itch that I had from my early days in taekwondo.  So that is like 7 years now- I got my black belt there and that is pretty much the one thing I do every day. I mix that in with classes at The Shop to make sure I have the cardio and the strength- it requires a lot of isometric strength.  That is pretty much it- that and Bruce Lee and old Kung-Fu movies-

So you’re into the old Kung-Fu movies?  That is awesome.  You mentioned The Shop- you initially worked out at the Shop many years ago right?  Tell me about that and what brought you back.

I met Dane at an improv class.  I had just come back from a neck injury and he mentioned that he had a little Shop on Guadalupe and that I should come check it out because there is a lot of yoga and mobility paired with strength.  So the next couple days I was in the class at 5 or 6am- very early- and was like “where do I sign up?!?!?”  I stayed with him for two years and then I ended up helping a guy to build a jiu-jitsu school and the time just wasn’t there.  I was bummed out that I wouldn’t see Dane anymore- we were buddies!  But I always stayed in contact and always wanted to come back.  December of 2020, my wife had just got pregnant and we were very covid-conscious- I wasn’t even doing jiu-jitsu.  My wife actually told me that she had driven by (the Manor Road location) and everyone was training with masks on or outside so I decided I had to go in.  I had a blood test and my cholesterol was high- as if I needed any other sign from the universe. So January 2nd, I was there training on a Saturday; Dane was shocked to see me and asked if he could give me a hug!

So low density lipoprotein brought you back to The Shop?  Incredible.  Do you have any memories of Dane as an improviser?

Oh he has a great deep voice so he could really project and he was very funny- lots of laughing.  He would shy away from controversial topics.  He had this recurring thing he called like “Jimbo’s Tattoo Parlor”.  He was very funny.

Shortly after I started coaching at The Shop, he and one other coach and I all took improv together.  My favorite memory was that any scene with him, the other people in class would turn it into a joke about how handsome he was to the point where the teacher had to stop class one day and point out that everyone was objectifying him and that wasn’t cool.  Dane was just melting with embarrassment.  So talking about your routine- you’re a really regular Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday guy right?

Yeah, that is my regular schedule- Fridays I play by ear depending on how tired I am!

You’re also super regular with Tuesday night yoga right?  

Yeah!

Talk to me a bit about how that works in your larger fitness schedule.

Yoga has been a game changer.  I’ve tried yoga before and it can be a little bit intense with all the other training I do.  I came to a yoga workshop with (Yoga coach) Jess and she was, coincidentally, focusing on shoulders; shoulders are my achilles heel. When you put the Tuesday class on the schedule it was perfect- it doesn’t interfere with baby & wife time or jiu-jitsu classes.  The timing was impeccable and, I was telling Jess, that even though I only go once a week, my shoulder is so much better in terms of pain.  I don’t know what she’s doing but it is working.  Funny anecdote: one class, we were doing savasana and all of a sudden I opened my eyes and Jess was the only one still in the room- I fell asleep!  I was out if it- I was probably drooling!  But she is so sweet- very scientific in her movements.  I love it!  I love jiu-jitsu, but I would rather miss that than yoga.

I’m a little bit jealous because my body definitely needs that class but of course I coach at the same time as both the yoga classes, so I can’t take them!  The other thing Shop related I wanted to hit on was you’ve done what, two of the mini meets right?

I did Brains & Brawn- that was amazing!  I did the Strong Person- *laughing* I was the smallest guy!  And I also did the Push & Pull.  The Brains & Brawn was my favorite because it was so social.  I mean, I love them all- with the Strong Person I didn’t even know if I could lift the things.  The guys I was paired up with were so inspirational.  My wife really likes coming to the meets.  She doesn’t like coming to the jiu-jitsu events because they are so violent, so her coming to the meets she is like “this is so nice!  Nobody is trying to kill each other!”.  I love those events.

It has been fantastic having you both at the events- I’ve only met her a couple times, but she is great.  When did you two get together?

We met the good old-fashioned way, at a bar.

What is that?  What app is “a bar”?

*laughing* It was 2010, the week before Thanksgiving and I figured she was way out of my league.  I did the classic move and stalked her on facebook and saw she had visited Panama two years earlier.  I was like, this is my opportunity, so I reached out and told her I was from Panama and she asked if I wanted to hang out sometime.  She mentioned she was having people over for Thanksgiving and invited me; I told her I’d love to, but my mom was in town.  She said bring your mom!  Her parents were there too.  So the first time we hung out, it was with our parents.

I actually met Becca (the chadwife) the week before Halloween in 2010, so almost the same time!  Another selfish thing I wanted to talk about was you being a dad!  How old is Lucas?

17 months!

Talk about it, what is it like being a Dad?

Parenting is an extreme sport.

Here we go!

People ask me why I workout so much, welp!  Let me show you a picture of this sturdy little guy.  I think I get this from my dad, but I just look at everything that happens with him as being the thing that is supposed to happen.  He wakes up?  Okay, what’re you going to do about it?  He cries?  Ok, let’s see what we can do!  Honestly, it is a whole other chapter- it is really fun.  There are times when he is sick and times where we don’t sleep, but he is just a whole lot of fun.

Fun?  That is good to hear.  Dane’s 4th son was actually born this morning!

Wow!  Mazel tov!  Congratulations Dane!!

Are you going to try to catch up with him?  Are you going to go for 4?

I don’t think we’re going to go for 4, but we are thinking about a 2nd one.  Hopefully a girl.  I was thinking about traditional father/daughter relationships and it got me thinking, “Hmm, I’ve gotta keep working out!”

Right?  So 20 years from now if she brings someone home for Thanksgiving you can just be like-

“I’m into swords!”

*laughing* Oh I think just having the jiu jitsu medals displayed would be enough.  That’s fun.  We’re going to hit up some random questions in a minute, but before that, do you have any dad advice… there might be some new dads out there on the horizon.

Everything the kid does, it is supposed to do.  He can be a pain sometimes and when they get sick it can be shocking, but everything that happens is supposed to happen.

That is a very stoic approach.  

I see some of my buddies back home getting emotional in their responses and that can happen to me, but it helps to just say “that is what he is supposed to do”.

I really like that Fernando.  Alright, these random questions are actually on a similar theme and aren’t completely random: first one, do you have pump up music before you compete?

Oh yeah.  The day of the tournament I don’t, but the days leading up to it- Iron Maiden.  The one that gets me in the mood is “Hallowed Be Thy Name” (yes, dear reader, I took it for a spin and immediately had the urge to jiu-jitsu someone!).  

Were you into metal in the eighties?

Since I was ten years old.  We had MTV in Panama and back then I was into Twisted Sister; when I was ten for my birthday, my mom showed up with a vinyl of the one that goes *singing* “We’re not gonna take it”!  We lived with my grandparents and I listened to it so much that they would get me records of children’s stories so that I would alternate.

That is a cool mom move!  I’m in my late thirties and just now hitting my metal phase.  Can you compare your fighting style to an animal?

Mmmm… I am like a snake.  I’m not that agile with injuries and age, so what I try to do is wrap around my opponents then *makes tense squeezing gesture*

Fernando the constrictor, I like that!  My wife came up with this question- which coach at The Shop would you least like to fight? Who would be the most formidable?

Oh man… I always thought that the nicer and more chill they appear, the scarier they are.  So it is a tie between Selah and Jess.

I can see that!  Selah does breakdancing and stuff, so I’m sure she would have some serious moves.  And Jess, anytime someone has that many tattoos, you know they have a high pain tolerance.

Exactly!  High pain tolerance!

If you were to have all the coaches in one big battle royale, who would be the last one standing?

I think Monica.  I have seen some of the videos of her lifting and- I know you are strong Chad and I know Dane is strong- but I believe the women are much stronger than any of us.  I see her doing pull-ups so smoothly and I’m like oh man!

She’s got some grit too.  She’s a very sweet person, but she’s got a gritty side.  Very good answer.  I think those are most of my questions-

I have one more thing to say!  Best music coach?  You!  Yoga music doesn’t count.  I love all the coaches, but your music is always right on point.

Thank you for that!  I have been called out by members for having the worst music too!

No!!!

Fernando, your opinion is far more important than theirs!  How has this interview been for you?  Has it been what you expected?

Oh, super fun!

Well, I asked you for father advice, so zooming out, you are here for a reason- you set a good example- do you have any advice for the members of the community?

Keep showing up!  A lot of times, particularly with new folks, the technique is so crucial it can be intimidating; particularly the power clean.  But you have such a great staff of coaches.  You are so scientific with the prep work and how you build up before benchmarks.  Just show up and trust that there is a method to the madness.  The other day we did the (Mile Big Mac) and that is a tough one!  I just tell people, if you finish it cool but if you don’t finish that’s fine too.  (The Shop) is such a safe place, such a safe environment.  No need to feel intimidated!

That is great to hear, because that is the most important thing for us.  Okay man, we’ll wrap up the recording portion so I can ask you the real deep dark secrets!

Leslie and I chose an extremely exotic location for our interview- the Hyde Park Shop!  Give us a break- she’s a busy gal (as you will soon learn) and this is what we were able to fit into both of our schedules.  Leslie was slowly sipping some delicious green tea and I was unable to drink anything owing to the fact that my jaw was on the floor upon learning just how much fitness and wellness in general this woman packs into her life.  Take a deep breath and enjoy my friends!

Leslie Hall: Do you mind if I periodically pour tea throughout the interview?  I brought back-up *pulls out thermos in addition to her coffee mug

Coach Chad: Absolutely, that is a clutch move.  What are you drinking?

This is ceremonial-grade matcha tea that I make every morning.  I can’t drink coffee anymore, but I think it has a lot of caffeine in it, but also other antioxidants and stuff.

Yeah!  I used to run the Whole Body department at a Whole Foods in Chicago, so I’m well versed in green teas and green tea supplements-

Right!  Did you know you’re the reason I take digestive enzymes?

That is awesome!  I only take them if we’re going to eat something way out of our diet like pizza, but I notice a big difference if I don’t take them.

I definitely notice a difference.  I take them now with every meal.

Cool!  I have some juicy questions that the other coaches wanted me to ask you, but the first thing I wanted to do is get a little back story on you.  Tell me and the readers the nickel version of Leslie.

Alright!  I’m originally from New Hampshire.  I grew up there, hated the cold, graduated from college and then moved to Honolulu for three years.

Oh!  Did you have a job out there?

Yep, I worked at the University of Hawaii doing social and behavioral research.  I also worked as a sexual violence educator at a non profit.  I did that and I was missing my family and then I moved to DC to go to grad school.  I lived there for 11 years and got into tech and that is where I met (her husband) Graham- we worked together.  Right after we got married we moved to Austin in 2015.  

What did you get your masters in?

Sociology.  Yeah, we lived here for a year and were following Eater articles to try and find the best coffee shop in Austin in order to figure out where we wanted to live.  We went to Quacks because it was in one of the articles.  We didn’t even know what Hyde Park was but we bought a house there and we discovered Dane’s because we were just walking around the neighborhood.

Nice!  And you’re still in Hyde Park?

Yep, same house!

That is a nice table setting for the first question from a coach I wanted to throw your way.  It comes from Autumn- and you’ve been doing some personal training work with her right?

Yes!  So, Autumn is amazing.  On New Year’s Eve 2020 I went to swim practice -I’m on the UT masters swim team- and we had this awesome 2 hour practice.  I sat down for a cup of tea and didn’t stand up again straight for 4 months because I hurt my back really badly. It was all because my core was really weak- I had no idea.  (Autumn) fundamentally changed the way I think about exercise and the ability to control my core so I could still come to Dane’s.  She changed my life.  So I see her now once a month so I don’t have to go to PT.  I highly recommend anyone having issues engaging their core going to Autumn.

She’s kind of a master at it.

I also always have a goal.  Currently it is doing a push up, doing a pull up and doing a handstand. She gives me ways to work on those. 

That’s cool, you’re impressed with her and she is impressed with you.  Specifically, she mentioned that she is impressed that you have causes you are enthusiastic about and that you actually do something about it- you take action.  She wanted to know how you would advise others to do the same, but before you do that I want you to give some examples of causes you’ve been in to

Sure.  I am a big believer in equal rights for everyone no matter what.  I was really involved in some nonprofits in DC and wanted to figure out how to do that here.  It probably isn’t surprising for anyone who knows me that my beliefs don’t exactly align with that of the Texas legislature.  When SB8 and some of the other anti-trans bills came down I really wanted to do something to combat it.  I put a feeler out on instagram for groups that I could work with and got some good suggestions that I could research more.  So now I’m doing things like letter writing, phone banking, postcard writing; I joined Texas Blue Action and went to their advocacy day.  I also just learned what “dropping a card” is-

Ummhm, I just learned that too.  Can you talk a bit about what that is?

When a bill goes into the committee to see if it is going to come up for a full vote or not, they have people come in and testify.  As part of testifying, you can just say you agree or disagree.  So dropping a card is just a way of formally saying you agree or not with that bill.  My next goal is to actually testify in front of a committee.  

So what is your best piece of advice for someone who wants to get involved more?

I would say just to put out in your network what sort of organizations might align with your values.  Just ask around.  Organizations usually just have more ways to get involved.  Or you can reach out to me!  I’m happy to help.

That is wonderful!  Turning things inward a little bit, one of Blair’s questions was- you’re doing a meditation challenge?

*Laughing* Yes!  I’m not working for a couple months and I’m taking it as kind of a mindfulness journey.  My doctor told me I need to lower my stress and so I’m trying to figure that out.  I found a meditation coach- I’m doing a form of transcendental meditation where you meditate for 20 minutes.  So yeah, I’m doing it for a month, so let me know then if I seem calmer!

The Beatles were into transcendental meditation right?

Yes!  I just learned that they were the ones that brought transcendental meditation to the states.

Yeah, they went on that retreat to India in like ’67 or 68′.  Are you finding it difficult?

No!  The way my coach described it is that it is lazy person’s meditation.  I’ve always tried to meditate with different apps and nothing ever stuck because I can’t clear my mind.  In transcendental meditation, you don’t have to empty your mind, you just focus on your mantra and when your mind wanders you just acknowledge it and return to your mantra. So far my Whoop monitoring shows that my stress levels when I’m meditating are the same as when I’m sleeping.

Oh… Wow!  That is very cool.  That is the quiet part of your life and another one of Blair’s questions was how much physical activity you take on per day.  I’m assuming that has something to do with the fact that you’re known to take two classes in a day?

Yes!  I’m recovering from foot surgery, but when I’m not doing that a good week would look like: Fusion 6 mornings a week, Strength 3 evenings a week, swim practice twice a week, Peloton three times a week, and I just started adding yoga three times a week.

I have been seeing you showing up for yoga!  Plug for 6:15pm Thursday yoga at Hyde Park with Anna!

I was there last night- it was excellent!  I figured The Shop has these yoga classes with incredible coaches, why am I not taking advantage?

Very cool.  Yoga is kind of its own thing- I was curious if you could talk a little bit about the difference between Strength and Fusion class.

Oh my gosh, yes!  For me personally, being part of the 5am crew, Fusion is just as much social as it is a workout and a way to feel great as I start the day.  Being done with a hard workout with really fun wonderful people before the sun comes up every day just makes you feel good about yourself.  It is faster though and there is more cardio- I don’t always take the time the way I do in Strength.  I just started Strength last summer whereas I’ve been doing Fusion for I don’t know how long.  When I started doing Strength I started paying attention to the actual percentages and taking the time to not rush.  In March of last year I was deadlifting 55lbs and in November I hit 230lbs.  I feel stronger.  Some days it is hard to do two a days though.

Hard in terms of finding the time or finding the motivation?

Both!  But that crew at 5:30pm Manor Strength is so fun.  It is like I have this whole new group of friends.

Anyone you want to shout out there?  I’m not going to ask you to shout out the 5am people because I’ve interviewed you nut jobs before and you’re just going to call out everyone in that freaking class.  

*laughing* No, I’ll say the entire 5:30pm crew too- I don’t want to single anyone out.  I will say the person who got me into it was Marie (Hwang).  We used to work together and we still wanted to see one another, so she told me to start coming to Strength.  I started coming once a week, but the people were so great and I felt myself getting stronger, so it stuck.  It is fun being able to pick shit up!

It is!  When I first started pushing my weights, the first cool thing was when I realized I was deadlifting an NFL offensive lineman-

Yes!

I just deadlifted Nate Newton!  Do you have any similar comparisons?

I don’t, but now I’ll need to!  Like can I deadlift my husband?

Right?  You two don’t really work out together ever- is that just because he isn’t a 5am kind of guy?

He’s not a 5am person and whereas half of me being here is social, he is just really focused on his workout so he is more of a solitary person.  

I think that is very much a testosterone thing.  I’m a super social person, but when I’m at the gym with my wife I have a strict “no touching me” policy… that she violates pretty often.  That’s okay though.  So you love both the 5am class and the 5:30pm class, but aside from one being Fusion and the other being Strength, is there another difference between those communities?

It feels like 5am is a little more type A.  Super focused and on to the next thing.  Then 5:30pm is a little more relaxed- it is just a nice way to end the day.

That tracks.  So far this interview has been this tour of healthful decisions you make in your life- fitness, meditation, more fitness- what do you do for fun?  What indulgences?

Umm… I come to Dane’s for fun.  When you come somewhere for two hours a day, it is a good chunk of your day.  If you’ve been in Hyde Park, you’ve seen me walking my three dogs-

Yes!  Their names are?

Brandy Alexander (like the cocktail), Bubba Newton, and Benny G.

Brandy is the only one that comes around here right?

Brandy is the only one that comes here because she is the only I’m not afraid of peeing on the turf.  The boy dogs, I don’t trust them so they stay at home-

Public service announcement- please don’t let your dogs pee on the turf, people do sit ups there for crying out loud!  Now Brandy is deaf right?

Yeah, they are all boxers.  Interesting fact, most white boxers are deaf.  

I had no idea.  Now I know that Graham is a big concert person, are you?

Yeah, we both are.  I really wasn’t until I met him, but then he is really good at finding music I would like.  He worked at an independent record store up in New York for a long time.

That tracks because even though he isn’t a super chatty person he is a good person to have a conversation with because he knows cool shit.

Oh yes!  And he is the best person to add to your trivia team.

Do you have a favorite concert you’ve been to recently?

For my birthday we went to Margo Price.  That was really fun.  We go to the movies a lot- we’re going to see Dazed and Confused next weekend at Alamo.

Alright, Alright, Alright!

Yes!  I’m trying to read more books-

Anything currently?

Actually, right now I’m reading Alright, Alright, Alright: The Oral History of Dazed and Confused.

That’s fun!  You’ll be primed for the film.  Well, we have a particularly robust random question section with most of the coach sourced questions there.  Another one from Autumn- you always have fun hair, do you have a favorite hair coloring scheme 

you’ve received?

I have the world’s best colorist and I usually give her an inspirational photo.  The last one I gave her was a nineties magic eye poster.  I think my favorite was when I gave  her a photo of an opal.

I think I can picture what that one was- pretty recent right?

Yes!  It was different colors in the light.  I think my next one might be the Northern Lights.

Oooo Aurora Hairialis!  

*laughing* Yes!

Magic Eye posters- were you ever able to see the image?

Oh yes, you really have to focus.

Yeah, I could never get it and I was so frustrated.  To this day the idea of them makes my blood pressure rise.  Okay, Stormie wanted to know if you know exactly how many shoes you own?

*big laughter* Stormie and I like to talk about Nikes.  I keep suggesting Nikes for her to wear on her wedding day and I really love the ones she picked.  I don’t know how many I have, but I am figuring out how to store them which probably means I have too many.  

I’m not a shoe guy at all, I don’t understand where the love of them comes from.

I think it is because you can wear a pretty basic outfit with a pop of color on a really cool pair of kicks.  Now that I’ve had ankle/foot surgery, I’ve had to get rid of my heels, so I’m going really in on sneakers that make statements.  

Lauren wanted to hear about your time as a Jazzercise instructor?

*Roaring laughter* It wasn’t technically Jazzercise, it was just aerobics.  In college and after college, I was a certified aerobics instructor.  I taught step aerobics at UNH- big classes of 50 people or so- I loved it so much that I considered not getting a job with my major and instead going to club med to become an aerobics instructor.

What a different path that would have been.

I loved it and have wondered if there would ever be a world in which we’d have step aerobics at Dane’s.

If that world comes, I think we know who our first interview will be!  Lauren also wanted to know about churning?  I have no clue what she is talking about here.

Uhhh….  *mildly blushing* I don’t know if we should talk about that one…

*Laughing* Okay, I’ll hit you up on that once we’re off the record!  Now one from yours truly- you strike me as maybe a karaoke person-

Um…. I’m only good at karaoke when I’m pretty drunk.

Do you have a favorite song you’ve done?

“Bust a Move” by Young MC.  I look at who is in the room and then google the most popular karaoke song so they can sing louder than me because my voice is horrible.  I have a terrible voice.  It is so bad that I have a clear memory of being in 3rd grade belting it out and Ms. Courtney went line by line to figure out who was making the noise and told me to be quiet.

That is traumatizing!  Maybe your meditation will help you to heal that wound.  It kind of makes me want to ask you to sing right now-

No!!!  You can ask Graham, it isn’t pretty- Ms. Courtney was right.

That brings me to my next question: do you have a secret talent?

I’m really good at optimizing things- organizing and finding the most efficient path.  

My wife and I recently moved into a house and are still nesting and such, so my follow up question there would be do you have anything around the house that you are particularly proud of optimizing?

Yes!  Our backyard.  When we first moved in, it was a giant mud puddle.  My dream is to turn our backyard into a luxury hotel situation.  We’ve got our pool and firepit and the goal is to make it feel like every day is a vacation so when you actually go on vacation, you go on an adventure.

Do you have a surprising pet peeve?

Um… I hate it when people jog in place at stop lights.  I don’t know why.

That is a good one!

Yeah, no clue.  It is just like, “What are you doing?  Just stand still.”

That is so funny, I’m trying to figure out if I’m a run at stop lights person.  I think maybe in my twenties I was but now I just take it as divine intervention that I should rest for a second.  That is exactly the kind of answer that I’m looking for when I ask this question.

It is so judgemental and stupid.

It is!  That is why it is perfect.  Well that is most of the questions I have.  Do you have any words of wisdom you’d like to conclude with?  You’ve given a lot of wisdom already, so you could go a whole other direction and just leave me with fighting words.

*laughing* Rather than words of wisdom, I’ll just say thank you to the Dane’s Community.  I’m sure you’ve had people talk about this, but being able to come here during the pandemic saved me.  I was in my house all day long, working crazy hours at HEB trying to figure out how to get people groceries and being able to first work out at home on Zoom and then to have a place to workout outside saved my sanity.  Those outdoor workouts in the park?  We’d been coming to The Shop for a couple years already, but that is what really made me think how special this community is.  

It cuts both ways.  I would hear about the emotional toll the pandemic was taking on people and I kept thinking that I felt okay.  I realized it was because I have this job where it is my job to spend time around people like you.  So thank you for showing up during those tough times.

My pleasure!

Well Leslie, this has been great.  This is for Brandy, this is for Bubba, this is for-

Benny!

And for Graham.

All of us on Avenue F!  

Avenue F folks- go find her and learn about “churning”!

With professional photographic evidence of these two working out next to one another in class, I was fairly certain they’d be game for a two on one interview and would bounce off another nicely.  I wasn’t wrong!  We met on a Wednesday evening in May, just down the street from the Manor Road Shop at Batch for a refreshing beer and a wide ranging conversation.  Some things to look forward to?  Vanessa’s origin story as a legit-ass published author and Koes’s inspired road trip snack selections!

Coach Chad: So that was a photo of our (3 week old) daughter.  My wife is normally very helpful with these interviews when I text her and ask for some questions to throw out, but this time she just sent this photo and said “ask them if they agree that this is the cutest baby in the world”.

Vanessa King: Right Now? Absolutely!

But, with you both being parents, I suspect there might not be universal agreement if we were talking cutest baby ever.

VK: But that wasn’t the question!

Alright then, Hero wins it!  Lovely.  Well, I sent you both a prompt to start off with and throw some chaos into this by having a question I don’t even know what is to come.  Vanessa, did you come up with a question for Koes?

VK:  Yeah!  Mine is pretty basic- what brings you into the gym?  Not just at Dane’s, but your fitness journey. 

Koes Bong:  My fitness journey?  Ah…  I was never really into gyms.  Mostly because it felt too expensive.  I know I talk about hating running, but I used to run a lot.

VK:  That’s why you hate it!

KB: Uh huh!  At one point I thought I would train for a half marathon.  One day I hit 6.5 miles and I thought to myself “I’m done!  This was a long time to run”- so I stopped running. This was in Portland and one of my kid’s friends’ parents runs a Crossfit gym and they offered two free sessions.  So I went and loved it and that is how I started doing Crossfit for a while.  Then the pandemic happened, we moved to Austin and- how I found Dane’s was kind of funny.  I needed an oil change, so I looked up oil change and- 

Yes! We got one!

VK: *Laughing knowingly

KB:  And somehow Dane’s Body Shop showed up.  I figured this is great, I’ll just drive down the street and get it changed. I showed up and it was a gym!  So I ended up taking a tour and didn’t sign up right away.  I remember exactly when I decided to join though.  I was at the Blue Hole in Wimberly and went to do one of the rope swings and wasn’t strong enough-

VK:  Oh no!

KB:  So that is when I decided to go to the gym.

No better motivator than not being able to properly enjoy water time in the Texas Summer.  That is a really cool story!  And did you have a question to fire back at Vanessa?

KB: I would love to hear more about your journey of becoming an author.

VK:  Oh gosh!  Which part?

KB: Like, did you just get up one day and say “I’m going to start writing”?

VK:  Here we go!  I’ve always loved reading and I have a lit degree, so I’ve always loved writing about what I read.  I was working as a glorified receptionist (which is a line in my book!) at a department of defense contractor in Colorado Springs so I had top secret clearance as well.  I would just write about jobs I had in the past that were more fun-

Such as?

VK: I spent a lot of time as a life guard.  I was a life guard at an air force base which was really fun as a 17 year old putting full grown men in time out.  Years later after we moved to New York I got a course for the Gotham Writers Project from my mother in-law for Christmas.  I signed up for the novel writing course and just started going.  About eight of us continued meeting after the eight week course for the three years I spent living in New York.  The next move was Arkansas and there isn’t a lot to do in Arkansas when you have a two month old, so I just wrote to fill time and find my happy place.  In Seattle I put together another writer’s group and that is when I got a manuscript together and started querying agents.  I got some requests and some revisions and some passes.  Then we were in Colorado and years had passed. While I was waiting to hear back for one project a friend told me they were working on a retelling of The Wizard of Oz set at a music festival.  I was immediately like “I love you, but shut up- I have an idea.  A retelling- boom!”  Burlesque stuff, I loved doing that in New York and I love “Pride & Prejudice”- that’s what is happening.  It took about 18 months for me to write it out and start submitting; I got 69 rejections- nice!- but I got two offers of representation!  We had a couple months of revising and then the same evening I got the email from (her daughter) True’s school that Covid was closing it down, I emailed the final draft to my agent.  She submitted it Monday and by Wednesday we had an offer!

KB:  Wow!

And the name of the book Vanessa?  Where can we find it?  Plug it!

VK:  “A Certain Appeal” and you can find it where books are sold!

“A Certain Appeal” Alright!  Great questions.  There is actually photographic evidence of you two working out together in class.  How often do you end up in the same class?

VK: Not super often.  but I see you in passing because you take the 9am Strength and I will take the 10am.

KB:  Yeah, I do the 9am because Lindsey (his wife) has her workout at 10, so I can walk home and the kids are only alone for like 15 minutes.

And by kids, you mean your 2 month old twins right?

KB: Yes, exactly.  No, they are almost 13 years old and 11.

VK: Shoot, I was babysitting at that age!

Before we get too far into specifics, Koes can you give me your life in a bite size nugget since we got a bit of Vanessa’s back story?  Give me your story in a pecan shell.

KB: I was born in Indonesia- my home town is in west Borneo.  When I was 13 I left home and went to a boarding school, an international school.  I had teachers from Tulsa Oklahoma there and then when they moved back they offered for me to come to Tulsa if I wanted to go to college there.  So my first place in the U.S. was Tulsa; I can still vividly remember what I first saw in August in Tulsa- completely brown and flat.  I was there for eight years- it is where I met my wife Lindsey.  Two weeks after I met her, I moved to Portland Oregon, 6 months later she moved to Portland, and then two months after that I lost my job and so I had 30 days to get my job or I’d have to move back to Indonesia.  Lindsey, brilliant as she is, suggested we just get married.  So we got married 28 days later and she gave me a green card-

VK: And her heart!

KB:  Yes!  With the promise that I’d be her sugar daddy.  To this day she’ll say that I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.  We were in Portland for 12 years and then we moved to Austin in August of 2020 for more sun.

VK:  Yes!  That is why we left Seattle!  That and the food.

Riffing off that, can you both rattle off a few of your favorite foods in Austin?

VK:  I do tell people that at Bird Bird Biscuit, The Firebird alone is enough of a reason to come to Austin.

KB:  Yes!  Agreed!

VK:  Uchiko happy hour- the only happy hour that matters.  It is severely discounted!  I’ve had Air BnB guests come just for that happy hour.

Wow.  And you Koes?

KB:  Tacos are my favorite: Vera Cruz, Cuantos tacos, and the one I’ve been wanting to try is Nixta.  Also Uchi- I love them.  Birdies is at 12th and MLKish- very unassuming tiny sign, but it is really great.  And the most fun one we’ve recently experienced is Tiki Tatsuya.  I’ve got to say, I miss Portland food even more than Austin.

VK:  Yes! 

Really?  Well, more hipsters so I guess that tracks.

VK:  Yeah and there is less to do outside so you have to have good food.

Chicago is that way too- my Chicago food bucket list before we moved was enormous.  Something I also wanted to ask you was the differences you perceive in Strength versus Fusion classes.

VK:  It is more of a grab bag with Fusion because you’re going to get the weightlifting, but you’re also going to get the EMOM or AMRAP conditioning thing.  For Strength, I do like the more concentrated approach.

KB:  I feel the same.  I used to strictly do Strength and I’ve switched to doing Fusion also because I needed the cardio and that has been great.  Strength feels more “zen” since you’re taking your time and moving at your own pace.

VK:  Yeah, I like how much you have to focus in Strength.  Fusion is a caper!

KB:  Yeah and I feel like you see people struggling more in Fusion.

Any observations on the differences between the different coaches?  Like music choices or quieter versus louder?

VK:  I can’t say that anyone is particularly quiet.  In terms of music, you’ll get more eighties stuff with Beth (Reyburn).  Lauren’s music is a total grab bag.  And your music is a grab bag too, but like a distinctly Chad grab bag- like only in your class will we get The Darkness.

Well I’m happy to have the market cornered on early 2000’s falsetto glam rockl!

KB:  And I’ll say that a theme I see in all of the coaches is pushing us to get stronger, but telling us to listen to our body.  If you can’t do something it is okay- you’re no less a human for not being able to do a certain thing on a day.  You’re all so kind and encouraging.

Awwww….

KB:  Always looking out for form- form first!

VK: Yep!

You guys obviously both have families and a rich life outside of fitness- you’re both very well-rounded individuals.  How does what you do inside the gym translate to your life outside of it?

KB:  I can swing properly now at Blue Hole!

VK:  You model functional fitness!

That’s great, we’ve helped you achieve what you wanted to be able to do.  You’ve graduated now!

KB:  Yeah, now I can cancel my membership!  Overall though, just feeling healthier and stronger.  It is a great stress relief.  

VK:  I love being a physically strong figure for my daughter.  We have very different body types- she has her dad’s lengthy spider monkey body and I have shorter levers, so I can do things like push-ups, but she’ll be able to reach things for me!  I like being visibly strong- I get hollered at when I’m at Schlitterbahn *adopts thick rural Texas accent* “Hey!  You got strong lookin arms!”.

New Braunfels thirst trap over here!  You’re both people who interact with other folks when working out- do you have a particular approach or type of person you find yourself interacting with?

VK:  I like jumping into conversations if I overhear something I am familiar with.  I’m a human, it is fun to talk to other humans.  Apparently I initially had a reputation as a “serious person” with the 5am crew- I mean I do workout seriously, but I can chat!

KB:  Going to the same class day and time, what I like is seeing similar people showing up every time.  Eventually you just end up saying hi!  With Covid, I think we lost sense of how to make friends stressing out with whether people will say hi back.  Recently I have really enjoyed working out with Eric Lepine-

Badass dude from New England!

KB:  He pushes me because he works so hard.  I just try to follow him- it is an inspiration.

VK:  It is having a rabbit.

KB:  And he’s a big soccer fan- even though I don’t like the team he supports; *darkly* he supports Liverpool and I support Manchester United.

Ohhhhh… And when you say he pushes you, does he say anything?

KB:  He doesn’t need to!  Just trying to follow him.

That’s good!  I like to tell people that we don’t encourage explicit competition at The Shop, but noticing that someone else is putting the work in and being inspired to do the same at your own level is really great.  I love that.  A couple random questions.  If there were a movie of your life, who would play you?  what genre would it be?  and who might direct it?  Any or all of those questions.

KB:  Pedro Pascal!  Just kidding-

Why not?!?

KB:  Maybe Steven Yeun.

He’s pretty great.  I think he’d have to get a little more jacked to play you though.

VK:  I think he’d be up for it- he’d enjoy the challenge.

KB: For genre, I don’t know.

VK: Maybe it could be about the unspoken rivalry between you and Eric  That’s what it could be called, “Unspoken Rivalry”!

KB:  There you go!  Pedro Pascal can play Eric.

I can see that- they both have great salt and pepper stubble beards.  Vanessa, you could answer this for yourself or for your book.

VK:  I’d love that.  The movie version of my book would obviously be a rom com as is Pride & Prejudice.  I had some Bookstagrammers come up with fantasy casting and I was like, “Oh you’re all so young, I don’t know any of these people!”.  

Alright!  What is your favorite swear word?

KB:  Motherfucker.

VK:  That’s good!  We say dickhead a lot- that was my grandmother’s go to.

KB: I say fuck a lot at the gym- like FUCK that was hard.

VK:  Like fuuuuuck!

Alright, so motherfucker and dickhead-

VK:  They fight crime!

Yes they do!  Okay, so I’m reimagining the idea of a “guilty pleasure” because it presupposes that reasonable people should always want to eat something healthy.  So instead I want guilty pleasure to be something you are truly embarrassed by.  For instance, and I only do this on road trips, but I fucking love Combos.

VK:  Yes! 

KB: *Shaking his head confused*

It’s like a cracker wrapped around a pizza or cheese filling-

VK:  But it’s like a gritty cheese!  It totally looks like a dog treat.

Exactly!  What is yours Vanessa?

VK:  Oh, it is sweet tart ropes!  There should be some shame to that- it is a rainbow and there is the chewy crap outside and this white paste in the middle.  You’ve got to get the rainbow flavored one.  

KB:  Inspired by your answer Chad, mine is also during a road trip.  I always have beef jerky, the spicy Cheetos, and root beer.  I don’t drink soda, but on a road trip I always have root beer.

VK:  What an unholy trifecta.  The trinity of the dads.

Follow up question there- the taste of Cheetos is great, but I can’t stand having the cheese powder on my fingers-

KB:  Oh that is the best, just licking my fingers.

VK:  I taught at a high school for a year and the kids would cut open the bag of flaming hot Cheetos, pour in nacho cheese, and eat it with a fork.

On to the opposite of pleasure, what is your pettiest pet peeve?

KB:  There is a right way and a wrong way of loading a dishwasher.

*nodding vigorously* my mother in-law was in town this week and I know what you speak of my brother!  Loading that shit from the front?  How are you going to load the back?

KB:  Plates go in one direction, bowls on top- space efficiency and it makes it so much easier when you unload them!  Lindsey will troll me once in a while and will intentionally load it wrong, I’ll have to redo the dishes and she’ll just sit there laughing.

That is the most fascinating S&M relationship I’ve heard of.  Incredible!

VK:  I’m very petty just as a person- I don’t know where I’d even start. Name a subject and I’ll have an opinion of something that bugs me.  Kiddos not behaving in a restaurant!  I get not having a lot of exposure during Covid, but you don’t get to just run around tables- have some awareness of the people around you.  Parents, tell your child where the boundaries are!

What is an unexpected talent that you have?  Something people who see you regularly wouldn’t guess?

VK: I have a stupid human trick.  I can wiggle my nose up and down- not like Bewitched, because that was side to side, but up and down *proceeds to bring all kinds of bunny rabbit realness!*

KB: I speak 5 languages-

Yes!  I figured that coming from Indonesia, you spoke at least two, but I would have put the over/under at 3.

KB:  Indonesian, English, and then three different Chinese dialects.

Awesome- so all you fuckers on duo lingo, step off!  I’ve got you both beat, I have the smallest nipples of any man alive.

KB:  For everyone reading, Chad just slowly unbuttoned his shirt and showed us!

Well lets wrap up with some final thoughts here.  We have a chat and put your name up on the board, but people are legitimately excited to hear what you say.  I think you’ve both spoken words of wisdom already, but if you have any final thoughts to share with the community, you are now members of the “pantheon” of Shop athletes.  Any parting words?

VK:  A phrase that was tossed around at a gym I went to in the past was “it is a privilege to be able to choose your form of suffering”.  While “suffering” is a little extreme, I like the idea.  Speaking for myself, my life is pretty comfortable and so a little bit of discomfort is necessary to make progress in the world.  If you’re fortunate enough to have to seek that out for yourself, then do it!

That is actually something I will tell people- if something feels painful then stop doing it, but discomfort is kind of why we workout.  Pain is bad, but discomfort is what we’re looking for.

VK: There was a coach that was known for not paying attention to the clock and we would always cry out “when are we done?!?!?” and he would say “You’re done when you’re proud!”.

I like that!  And you Koes?

KB:  How do I even follow that?  I think that comparison is the thief of joy.  So don’t compare yourself to others or maybe even your past self.  We all have good days and bad gym days.  I saw a social post the other day about how if one day, giving it your 40% is the most you can do for that day, then 40% is your 100%.  So listen to your body.  Find support and connection from all the wonderful athletes and coaches at The Shop!

Well that is just spectacular.  Thank you both for coming out- this was a lovely conversation!