Acting Stupid With Mark

Since the beginning of the pandemic, all of our athlete spotlight interviews have been conducted outside and socially distanced.  In most cases, this has meant joyful use of the turf at either of the Shop locations, but here I actually joined Juan and Fabiola (and their chickens<!>) in their spacious backyard on a brisk December afternoon.  As always, they made me feel immediately at home in their home, providing a pleasant flight of beers to taste in addition to their spirited repartee.  That is the secret sauce about these two- they make people feel at home; they do it in their house, across borders, and whenever they are in class at Dane’s Body Shop.

Coach Chad: Hmmm… Are the Manor members different than the Hyde Park folks?  They aren’t, they are the same.  They’ve had quieter coaches over there historically- Stormie and Mitch, great coaches, but not as loud as Beth or myself.  So members take on the qualities of their coaches.  Now that Bean is over there more and I’m over there more, those members are going to start behaving like jackasses just like the two of you!

Juan: *Big laugh

Fabs:  Okay, that makes a lot of sense.

Pull up Victoria Harvey’s interview on the website- she was the first Manor athlete I interviewed after coming back to The Shop and she is a great example of people at Manor who speak up and let their personality (and baked goods) shine through.

Fabs:  I think it is already happening.  We were in Strength class the other day at Hyde Park and there were some guys who I think came over from Manor.  You know (Coach) Mark is always acting so stupid and I started acting stupid with Mark- so we were dancing around.  After 30 minutes of acting stupid with Mark, they started interacting with us.  They weren’t acting stupid with us, but they were interacting more.  It felt like these were Manor members who were catching the vibe of Hyde Park, so we just need to start doing stupid things here. 

*laughing*  And with these interviews, the title is almost always a line from the interview that comes up and the title of this interview might be, We Just Need to Start Doing Stupid Things Here!  Okay so one of the things I will do for these interviews is ask coaches if they have any questions for the people I interview, but with everyone at home for the holiday, I asked Max Benham, a member I will be dog-sitting for, if he had any questions for you.  He posed the following: when you are in a workout and it gets hard, how do you cope with that?

Juan:  For me it is counting.  I will do percentages: so we have to do ten of something and I will do two and then think, I only did two?  Then I reframe it as “man, I already did twenty percent!”  It sounds better right?

Fabs:  For me, the first thing comes to mind is I just ignore (the workout) and I just don’t worry about what they are asking me to do.  It is kind of just like I let it go- so I’m not dealing with it, I’m just hearing it and ignoring it.

Those are both valid mindsets.

Fabs:  I’m not proud of it… Keith just told me I need to do 20% of my body weight?  Okay, I will pretend I weigh 100lbs!

That is truly brilliant.  With that same idea, how do you use one another in a workout?  You’re obviously a couple, so what are your interactions like?

Fabs:  Juan is always trying to make me do the (movements) correctly.  I’m always asking coaches, mostly Beth, to tell him he is not the coach!  Scolding him and calling him out.  I think that is part of the interaction, but now (with Covid procedures) we have to clean all the equipment, so it works really nice because I can just steal all his weight and don’t have to use new ones.

So his max working weight is your warm up weight is what you are saying?

Fabs: Exactly!

Juan: And before (the pandemic) for partner workouts, I would always workout with Mark right?  We wouldn’t partner with one another.

So Covid has brought the two of you closer together?

Juan: *ruefully*  I guess so…

That is really touching!

Fabs: *laughing* Ooooo…

In what other ways is it different working out during a pandemic?

Juan: It is the schedule.  We put (class) on the schedule and we come together.  Before, if it was just her coming without me or me coming without her, we might not go.  But since it is the both of us, we always go.

Fabs:  Yeah, sometimes (one of us) would be like “I kind of don’t want to go” and the other would be like, “we need to go”.  So it just helps to keep going.  The other thing that is nice during the pandemic when he is working out with me is that I feel like I can break just a little bit of the rules.  Like I can jump into his square and nobody is going to say anything to me about it!  Obviously I’m not breaking the social distancing because he is my husband, but I get to feel like I am doing something a little bit wrong!  It feels good to break rules and feel normal.

Being a little transgressive!   I love it.  So I’m eventually going to ask you why you make the time to workout even though you are busy professionals, but we’re going to put a pin in that because I want to first ask you both briefly what it is you do for work?  Tell our readers- because I know, but I think it is fascinating.

Fabs:  I am finishing my PhD, so I am working on my dissertation-

And your focus is?

Autism. I’m providing therapy for low income families that do not speak english in the U.S. on how to teach their kids with autism.  

That is an excellent distillation.  And Juan?

Juan:  What do I do?

Fabs:  He’s the Marie Kondo of data.

The Marie Kondo of Data?  *howling*

Juan:  There we go- that is probably one of the best explanations.  

Fabs:  He brings joy to Data.  He always says, “how do you make data sexy?”

Juan: *laughing*  So my title is I’m the principal scientist of a company called “data.world”.  I joined the company because they acquired my company, so technically I get to do whatever I want and what I want to do provides income for the company.  I help drive the vision of the company, I am in front of customers when they need a scientist in the room to show off the cool things we are doing- my life is all about how to understand data, what data means.  That is the business side and from the research side I collaborate with universities and do research on different aspects of data management.

Fabs:  He says, “No BS conversations about data!”

Juan: Oh! So I started a podcast with one of my buddies from work.  It is called “Catalogue and Cocktails” it is an honest, no BS, non-salesy conversation about enterprise data management.

I think that is an excellent plug.  Where can readers find this podcast?

Juan:  Wherever you listen to podcasts!

Listen and subscribe- five star ratings!  Coming back to my prior question, with those being fairly big jobs, why do you take the time to workout?

Juan: *zero hesitation* So I can eat and drink!  I have a cellar full of wine, beer, and whiskey.

*laughing*  That is fantastic.  And that is a no BS answer!  And Fabiola?

Juan: And, by the way, to feel stronger and healthier.

Fab:  Yeah yeah yeah!  This will not answer your question in particular, but I think it will give context why I ignore what the coaches say sometimes.  I feel like I push myself a lot during the day to be the best therapist that I can- it is a lot of being the best that I can be for families, so when I arrive at The Shop I just want to feel free like I don’t have to be my best.  Just to be whatever I want to be that day and no one will care.

That is where you give yourself permission to not have pressure on yourself.

Fabs: Exactly!  It is a relaxing moment.  I’m working out and it is great because I can get energy out and I don’t need to think about anything.  If I do a lot of work I will receive a “GREAT JOB!”, but if I’m not I will get a “YOU CAN DO IT FABIOLA!”. It is a nice place to be free.

That is a great way to put it-  I think that is part of why you two have been selected.  You bring a levity and a celebratory presence when you’re in class.  With that, something that is always true of Athletes of the Season is that they have relationships with people at The Shop.  Obviously you two work out together, but could you talk about any of the relationships you have with other people around The Shop?

Juan:  Can we start with you?

Fabs: *big laughter*

That could be dangerous, but go for it!

Fabs:  It’s a big one right?

Juan:  We kind of know you Chad Ramsey.  For those who don’t know, Chad married us.

A responsible person discloses their financial backers, so as an interviewer I should disclose that I presided over their wedding- I am a little invested in these two.

Fabs:  You flew to Colombia to join us-

Juan: And Also joined us on our honeymoon along with (coaches) Autumn and Mark.

So there is actually a high degree of you two fraternizing with coaches and other members.

Juan:  When we started, there would be weeks when we would only see you and Autumn for classes-

Fabs: The last class of the evening.  Then Mark-

Juan: Mark would always attend the 7:30pm class.  And we now know that this whole pandemic worked out so that John could cancel the 7:30pm class.

Fabs:  He’s going to use this interview to complain that the 7:30pm class is gone!

That is the power of your platform!

Fabs: But to say something positive about John, Pablo (another member) one day asked him how much he would need to pay for Juan and I to be Athlete of the Season and then the next day we were on the board!  I don’t know if John made it happen or someone else did, but it was after Pablo tried to buy our names on the board.

Juan: That 7:30pm class was smaller, but it was always the same group of people-

Fabs:  There was Elena (Bollas) and Luke (Barney), Cameron (Hart), Dan and Brittany (Mottola)-

Dan and Brit?  You guys are pulling out some classics here.  

Juan:  And in Strength class we hang out with Natalie (Cincotta) and Mark.  

I will say that the 7:30pm class was always a really special one for me.  When I moved away in 2017- I don’t want to even talk about those dark times-

Fabs:  Hums the “Imperial March” from Star Wars

My last 7:30pm class was one I’ll never forget- there was a perfect sunset.  There was something about the familiarity of that group.  I think there was a feeling that everyone has had their day already, so no one is rushing off or thinking about what they have to do next.

Fabs:  Another thing I love about the last class is seeing the board erased.  Seeing the first section get erased, it felt like “I have accomplished something today”.  

Juan:  Autumn would make competitions to decide who would get to erase each section.  Yeah and the other thing is- wait, what was the question?

Fabs: Connections we have made at The Shop!

Juan:  Right Right!  And then the other thing that happened was meeting Chris (Santini) and Pablo (Mussetti)-  

Fabs:  This is a great story.

Juan: We were at a Steak & Wine Night and I met this guy Chris and he was not a member, but we just started talking because he works in tech, so we were talking about that for like an hour.  Then suddenly Fabiola is talking to somebody else-

Fabs:  I was talking to Pablo and I remember he said something like “I might leave early because my partner always likes to leave early”.  So we went to find Chris and he seemed super happy.  So they didn’t leave early and we were like the last ones at the party.

Juans:  That is how we met, and then we realized we were neighbors and so we started hanging out.  When the pandemic started, everyone was organizing their bubbles and we decided to be a bubble together.  

Fabs:  It has been something that makes us feel better during the pandemic, knowing we can walk to their house and drink wine with someone else.  We became family during the pandemic.

Juan:  So sanity during the pandemic was possible because we got to hang out with Chris and Pablo and we met them at The Shop.

That is adorable.  I’ve spoken with the two of you about maintaining sanity during the pandemic- do you have any silly things that you have done to stay sane during the pandemic?  Like Fabiola, you got chickens right?

Fabs:  Now I am the crazy chicken lady, but it makes me really happy.  And Juan has a bar in our house.  So those are the two things-

And just to clarify, we’re talking real chickens right.

Fabs:  We have four- we had five, but one was stolen by the raccoon-

Juan:  She “disappeared”; we’re still looking for her, so if anyone has any information.

She’s on a milk carton.

Fabs:  We do silly things like knitting sweaters for the chickens and teaching them how to swing on a swing.

That is great!  And the bar?  What was the inspiration for that?

Juan:  One of the things you miss is hanging out with people and you miss hanging out with people at a bar.  So you can start to recreate some of that, so why not?

Fabs:  It is open air, so it is safe.

Juan:  We call it Bar-Barella because we also miss going out dancing at Barbarella.

Again, disclosure to the readers- I have gone out dancing with you two at Barbarella many times.  What attracted you to Thursday nights there?

Juan:  Grits n Gravy!  The music on Thursday nights is soul and funk and disco- The Beegees, James Brown, Aretha Franklin.  Every song you listen to, you want to move your body to it.

Fabs:  It is also not that many people and you always see the same people- weird people dancing by themselves or dancing in groups and it was nice to just be free.

Just to be one of the weird people?

Fabs: Yeah!  And to see the same people like- “Hey, there is that guy in a skirt who always dances in the same corner” or “There are the two girls who dance a lot but never with anyone else!”

Kind of like Cheers– where everybody knows your name.

Fabs:  Just like Cheers!  And the bartender actually knows our names because he knows Juan really well-

Juan: Well yeah, I’ve been going every Thursday for a couple years, so yeah.

What else do you two miss since the pandemic?

Juan:  Well, traveling.

Of course!  Can you indulge us in some nostalgia and talk about a highlight in travel over the past couple years?

Fabs:  To start with, half of the year he wouldn’t be in Austin.  That will give you a concept of how often he was traveling.

Follow up question: will you be able to maintain your gym regularity when you start traveling for work again?

Juan: Yeah… I think we were only able to become Athletes of The Season because of the pandemic-

Fabs:  Maybe with the online classes you will be able to stay more consistent.

Juan:  Yeah, if they stay- so don’t take them away John!  I said early on that I thought the virtual stuff is going to be awesome for people who travel.  That is just another reason to be a part of this community.  I was thinking about it and I could probably still take classes if I was in Europe.  I usually travel 6 months out of the year- 150,000 miles per year on average.  Highlights?  Going to Japan was a highlight.  Fabiola actually proposed to me.  I had organized a trip to Japan and she organized this scavenger hunt proposal the day before-

Fabs:  One of the stops was The Shop.

Can you tell the readers a bit about the scavenger hunt?

Fabs:  Yeah!  For a year I was planning this proposal-

Juan: She really knew that she wanted to marry me.

Fabs:  Yeah, and the 4th step was to get a clue at The Shop.  And I got him wasted before the proposal.

Well it was clearly an effective strategy!

Fabs: *laughing*  Yes, yes it worked!

Juan:  We’re still together!  So, we went to New Zealand last year.  I surprised my Dad for his 70th birthday with a trip to Europe.  He was living in Boca Raton, so I flew in and just showed up claiming that I was stranded with a delayed layover, but I told my mom what I was doing.  So we had dinner and watched a movie then went to bed.  The next morning, I was getting ready to go to the airport and I gave him a little present and it was a passport and tickets. Then I told him he had a half hour to pack because we’re going to Turkey right now.

That is baller!

I had meetings all over and he just came along.  

I think that is very revelatory of the kind of person you are, for better or for worse.

Juan:  I just love to travel.  It is so amazing that you can just get in a metal tube and then 5-10 hours later you are in a different world.  It is magic.  

Fabs:  I think Juan has this ability where, if you don’t like traveling, if you go with Juan you will love it.  He enjoys it so much that he will make you enjoy it.

I can attest to that, having tagged along on your honeymoon!  Now Fabiola, I know you like travel as well, but you are a fabulous home-builder.  I just want you to talk a bit about your love of plants; it is so intrinsic to who you are.  Where did that come from?

Fabs:  I think it all comes from my mom.  If you give my mom a present, she is the perfect person to find a new place for that present.  If you gave her a blender, she would be like “oh this is beautiful, this will be perfect for your Aunt“.  The only thing she won’t give away is a plant.  So for my whole life, there were two things you could give her- a plant or a pot.  So everyday at 6 o’clock we would gather together in the garden to drink coffee and would walk around talking about which plants were happy.  We were always talking about whether the plant had joy or not- *looks at her beer* now I’m getting drunk with this!  But the conversation was always about whether the plant was happy.  My mom has the power to make any garden look beautiful.  So now, the thing that connects me with my family is my plants.  I think Juan is now starting to understand joy in plants.

Can you give the readers one tip for plants?

Just find plants that fit in the environment that you are in.

I love that.  You confessed to not having read other interviews Fabiola, so this is where I gain the high ground on you!  If you had read the other interviews, you would know that I always ask some weird random questions to round things out.  First question- we talked about Grits n Gravy music.  For both of you, if you had a theme song that played when you walked into a room, what is that song?

Fabs:  Oh Chad, I think you should just pause the recording because this is going to take me forever!

We’ll just sit in agonizing silence and let you regret not having prepared better.

Fabs: There is a song that comes to my mind, but I know that it is not the right answer *starts singing Tequila by The Champs*

Juan: *roaring with laughter*

Well I think that has to be the right answer!  I love that answer.

Juan:  On my Spotify wrap up list, Dance Monkey (by Tones and I) was my most played song.

And it is on my playlist for classes at The Shop thanks to you!

Fabs:  Awww… Chad, you should come back (to the evening classes), no one plays that song!  *yelling at my recording device* JOHN, DANE, bring Chad back!

*laughing*  That is great, if you were to give yourself a super power and create a superhero around that power, what would your superhero alter ego be?

Fabs:  The first thing that came to my mind, but it would be terrible-

Is it also tequila?

Fabs:  *laughing*  No… what is the name of that film Juan?  Espada en la Piedra?

Juan:  The Sword in the Stone.

Fabs:  The Magician, Merlin, wins (the wizard’s duel) by becoming a virus. But I don’t want to be a virus right now!  It is just the first thing that came to my mind.

Juan:  I’d say the ability to fly, but I like the journey on a plane.

And if I may editorialize, I love looking at your Instagram posts of food porn from 30,000 feet in the air.

Juan:  Oh I am very lucky to get to fly comfortably.  One of my favorite quotes is Blaise Pascal, “I’m sorry I wrote a long letter, if I had more time I would have written a shorter letter”.  So a super power would be being able to summarize things in a crisp manner.

Fabs:  Okay, I have my power!  I don’t want to be a virus because I don’t think people would want to be my friend.  I think I would want the power to understand why people do what they do.

Those are both fantastic answers.  So this is a variation on a question I ask in solo interviews.  If someone was to make a movie of your life, Juan who would play Fabs and Fabs who would play Juan?

Juan:  Oh god…

Fabs: *flounces her curly black hair* Elaine!

Juan:  *laughing*  Julia Louis Dreyfus?  I can actually see that.

Fabs:  But that is not fair that I answered your question Juan.  I don’t have an answer to who would be you.

Juan:  I’m stealing your answer.

It would be really solid casting.

Fabs:  So I would say Chad!  You’re an actor right?  You would be perfect.

Maybe that is the whole reason I am here- the whole reason I am in your life.  I am doing research on you Juan!

Juan:  Well in that case, Coach Mark is playing Fabiola!

Way to bring it back to The Shop!

Fabs:  But you and I both have curly hair and Juan and Mark are both brown!

Okay… so the Juan and Fabiola story starring Mark Hernandez and Chad Ramsey.  Great!  Okay, so if you were to nominate someone from the Shop community to be president of the United States who would it be?

Juan:  Hands down, Chad Ramsey.  Period.

Well that is the whole reason I conduct these interviews, to get that answer!  I’m retiring the question.

Juan:  But that is something I miss doing, talking politics with you.  Your perspectives are well thought out.

Fabs, who are you nominating to run against me?

Fabs:  The first thing I thought would be Becca, Becca would be the perfect president.

My wife?  Oh no!

Fabs:  Yeah!  And you can be the first lady!

Okay…

Fabs: Come on, she knows a lot about education and everyone loves her.  She is fun and educated.

Well, this is going to cause a lot of division in the Ramsey household.  Okay well we should wrap this up.  I like to conclude by asking if you have any words of wisdom?  Any edicts or decrees? Any thoughts to impart as Spotlight Athletes? Now that you are in the pantheon of chosen athletes? 

Juan:  I need to update my CV!

If you haven’t already, you’ve been derelict of duty!  You have both already said some brilliant things in this interview, but any other advice to dispense?

Juan:  Advice I would give is strive for excellence.  You know when you aren’t giving it your best.

Fabs:  Oh no Juan, I never do that at The Shop!  No sorry, Juan you were being serious.  Strive for excellence.  When working with families and kids and therapists I give the advice to not take things personally.  It will make your life easier if you don’t think things are against you or because of you.  It isn’t personal, it is just happening.

That is great!  Now did you guys come up with three questions to pose to the Dane’s Body Shop community?

Fabs:  Will we receive an answer?

Yes!  This is a new segment.  This came up in my interview with Cole Hubbard- I put it out there as a joke and he actually came up with three great questions.  

Juan:  Well there is something with Keith.  I’m having trouble coming up with a question, but I like him and I want to know more about him.

What is up with Keith?  That is a fair question.  I don’t know if anyone has time to solve that conundrum.

Juan:  He’s a fun guy.  He will put music on and just go in the corner-

Fabs: *roaring laughter*  He is a huge guy trying to hide between a little bar and he thinks we cannot see him dancing!  I think my first question would be, is the 7:30pm class coming back?  Is Chad coming back to Coach?  Because the morning is not valid!

Juan:  That is a question I have- how can someone wake up and workout at 5am in the morning?  How can people do this?

Fab:  Yeah!  Do they actually work out or do they just drink coffee?

Juan:  Can someone actually PR a lift at that time?  I find it to be amazing and ridiculous!

Fabs:  I have another question.  It is a stupid question actually.

My favorite kind!

Fabs:  Are we going to have a community plant to take care of?  We had that big (pride of Barbados) plant at the old Hyde Park.  

I will say that we have tried to devise ways to transplant that from the old Shop to the new one.  So we have:

Is 7:30pm coming back?

Coach John answered with a deep breath and a profoundly pensive look toward the setting sun.  As of publication time, he is still silently gazing westward

Do people actually work out at 5am?

Coach Beth Reyburn offers two possible thrilling answers to this query:

Just before 5 am, timers turn on the lights and open the doors. Cutouts of people spring up from the floors and out of the walls. To a passerby, it appears that there is a 5 am class, when in fact, everyone is home snug in their beds. Tom Sennett doesn’t actually exist.

or

5 am warriors are actually all part of the witness protection program and are living under false identities. That’s why they have to work out before anyone else is awake. Now that you’ve figured it out, they will all have to be moved to a new secure location. Tom Sennett doesn’t actually exist.

and

Can we have a community plant?

Coach Dane responded to this one:  “How about a climbing cacti like the Night Blooming Flamingo Cereus Cactus, for the telephone pole out front?”

I love it guys, that was great!

He Did His Homework!

Every Athlete Spotlight interview that I have the pleasure of conducting shares one common trait- I am always surprised by something that is said or transpires.  Mr. Cole Hubbard dropped a major surprise on me when he took a half-joking homework assignment I gave him ahead of the interview seriously.  His diligence has added a brand new segment to these interviews going forward, but his regular presence at the 11:45am time slot is changing Dane’s Body Shop for the better every freaking day!

So what do you think of the beer (Karbach’s holiday offering, “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out”)?

Hmm… I was about to ask what “yule shoot your I UT” is but then I realized that the bullseye is the O in out.  

Womp womp!

Yeah, it isn’t overly Christmassy which is really nice.

So how do you feel about being Athlete of the Season, or I guess because we keep changing the name, the Athlete Spotlight?

It feels good!

You like being in the spotlight?

*laughter*  I don’t know that I like being in the spotlight, but the recognition is nice I guess- not that I feel like I’ve done anything noteworthy, but it feels nice!

How long have you been a member?

I joined in 2018 I think, so it has been two years-

Coming up on three!

Wow!  Yeah.  The other day I was in Dane’s class and he asked me if I’d been here for like six months-

That sonofabitch!

*laughing*  He sees a lot of people (in classes).  In my head it feels like six months.

You were advising Dane on some particulars with regards to some work he is doing on his house right?

Yeah,  it was some development permit issues.  I’ve helped a few people around the Shop out with that-

Don’t worry, I won’t let people blow you up with advice requests-

No, it is fine! That is my job, to help people in the permit process.

So what exactly is your job?

I work for the state of Austin in development services and we help homeowners and business owners through the development process.

That is cool, so are you a longtime Texan?

Yeah, I grew up in west Texas- in Coleman Texas.  Cole from Coleman, easy to remember.

Are your family like legends of Coleman?

I asked (my parents) about that.  I was born in San Angelo and I think my Dad thought he would never be moving back to Coleman.  He swears I wasn’t named after the town- they just said they liked the name.

So I grew up in Coleman and went to A&M for undergrad in Community Development and stayed on and got my master’s in Tourism as well! Tourism was also the job I had before my current one. I worked for the state of Texas and promoted it as a place to visit for other states and other countries..  I had a job briefly in Boston and then Florida for a short time, but I like being close to family, so I moved back to the area and picked Austin.

Knowing what you know about tourism, can you give us a hidden gem to visit in Texas?

Okay, so Canadian Texas is up near Amarillo- maybe an hour (from Amarillo)- but it is super cute.  Really good downtown with brick roads- just really charming.

There is a city in Texas called Canadian?

Yes!  Very cute town.  There have been a lot of little towns that have surprised me.  Blanco is near Austin and they have really neat breweries and whiskey distilleries and a river that runs right by downtown- super pretty.  An area that surprises me every time is east Texas because it has the piney forests with lakes and rivers and so many outdoor opportunities- a bunch of bald eagles.

Bald eagles in Texas?

I know!  A lot of unexpected stuff in east Texas and it isn’t too far.  Probably a bit of a different culture than Austin *amused laugh*.

I haven’t yet interviewed our Hyde Park athletes, Juan Sequeda and Fabiola Londoño, but I’m going to ask them some questions about working out together as they are a couple.  And your fiance, Chase, works out at The Shop as well, so I just wanted to ask if you workout together often and what that dynamic is like?

I am super structured in my schedule and so I really like taking the (11:45am) class every week day and Chase’s schedule is a lot more fluid than mine.  So we take classes together sometimes but it is kind of rare because he is more of a fan of the evening classes.  I wondered how it would be before we started, but it is fine.  I let him do his thing and then let the coach do whatever they are going to do. I think maybe once I’ve said to a coach quietly, “he needs to work on blah blah blah…”  but he doesn’t want to hear it from me.  

Totally!  I see that dynamic all the time with couples.  Juan and Fabiola are the opposite- she will just yell out when she thinks he isn’t doing something right and he will yell out something like, “shouldn’t she be going heavier?”.  I love it either way.

I love that.  It is nice though because we can share weights, which is really useful these days with cleaning and everything.  I kind of miss that about working out before the pandemic.  Maybe it is kind of gross in retrospect, but I liked sharing bars and stuff with people.

It is a good energy- when you’re sharing you end up having to wait and then you observe more.  I would actually have partners watch one another to see if they could pick out any tips to give one another.  Did either you or Chase push more toward the fitness thing or did you come to it together?

So I joined Dane’s and was super shaky at first and didn’t really know how to do any of the moves at all.  I didn’t grow up doing any weightlifting stuff, so when I joined I was very intent on wanting to learn about form.  That was my thing for a while- like I would forego weight on the bar in order to figure out if I was doing the movement precisely-

And that is awesome by the way! For our listeners, that is the right way to do that!

And I think the coaches are all super good at correcting form, so it got me to stay for sure.  At first you’re intimidated because everyone is lifting this crazy weight and you have a tendency to be like, oh god, I don’t know what I’m doing!  So anyway, over time Chase was noticing more of a change in me fitness wise and I think his exact words were along the lines of, ” I can’t let you be getting all fit with me left behind- I don’t want to be one of those mismatched couples, so I have to join!” *laughs*, so he has really liked it too.  

Did he really say “I don’t want you to get all fit” or was it something more explicit?  Maybe something like, “I don’t want that ass to get too fine?”

*big laughter*  No, that isn’t a problem- his just has to be just as fine.

That is very positive!  I like that dynamic.  You hear that about couples and then you also hear it about children of members taking an interest in fitness.  It is the kind of infection that I think we should be spreading!

That is really cool, when people bring their kids to the Shop.

So what do you enjoy most at The Shop?

Movements?  Okay, so the lift I think I am best at is deadlift, but I’m learning that it is affecting my other movements like back squat and front squats.  Those are a little harder for me and Keith has corrected my form a bit on both of those.  So now that I am doing them correctly, it is a little harder, but I like seeing them on the board more (than deadlifts) because I think, “Oh good, I get to work on those today.”

You like addressing the things you have trouble with?

Yes.

That speaks highly of your character.  Not everyone, myself included, always feels that way.

Well, there are certainly things I dread.  

What are the things you dread?

Strict press is hard and I think I have a tendency to think, “oh god, I’m still not lifting as heavy as other people”.  I’m trying not to focus on that and just focus on myself.    I don’t dread a bunch of stuff.

That’s cool!  Another gym related question I like to ask, and you might have a really solid answer here because your schedule is so regular- do you have any relationships you’ve developed with people at The Shop inside or outside of class?

Oh yeah, for sure.  I love seeing the same people in class when I come.  Rachel McGuire is always a super big motivator; she is always going hard on her workout which is motivating and inspiring.  I could list a whole bunch of members- Hannah um…

Elferink?

Yes… I love seeing her- always super friendly and nice, Matt (Rutledge) is always great to see, just a whole bunch of people.  I used to be intimidated by the Manor members because they seemed so quiet but then I went to Hyde Park and everyone was so chatty-

A little too much?

No I loved it!

*laughing* Some of the 11:45am people there can be a bit much- Talking to you Jose Luis!

No, no, he’s really nice too.

I love that guy.

Yeah, so as you come more consistently, conversations happen and someone who you thought was very quiet and reserved and were intimidated by is super friendly.  I really love that- getting to know everybody.  Getting to know the newer members too!

It has been cool to see new people come to the gym- I think a lot of that is because we are being pretty safe with Covid compared to other gyms- but new blood is always important for keeping the vibe.  It is also nice to see people who have been here a couple years- people who started in a place of insecurity- and all of a sudden the student has become the master!  You’re teaching people.

Oof!  I don’t know about teaching people, but it is nice to feel comfortable in the movements.

Well even if you don’t realize that you are teaching, you might be.  When coaching I can’t spend all of my time with one person, so I will leverage my more experienced members and tell newer people to keep an eye on someone as a good model in case they get stuck.  So you’re being used by us regardless.  You’re welcome.

I feel so used!

You should.  Terribly used!  You mentioned earlier that you take classes from a bunch of coaches, do you have any observations or favorite aspects of the different coaching styles?

John and Dane are probably the ones who push the most- who will be most likely to be encouraging people to keep working hard, which is nice to have.  Keith is really good with correcting form- I probably ask him too many questions-

I guarantee asking him questions is making his job either.  I’m sure he loves it!  The more questions members give us, the fewer guesses we have to make.

Yeah and he has that background in something with str-

Stripping.  He worked for Chippendales for many years.

*big laughter*

He has pole burns, it is remarkable.  You have a mental image now don’t you?

I do!  I keep laughing about it- in all the best ways.  Sheer jealousy!  So Keith is awesome, Mitch had some great music and so does Stormie- I really like her positive energy.  I feel like you and Bean focus on the new people, which I really like.  I really liked it when I first started, just feeling like the coach was right there.  Probably the person I’ve had the fewest classes is Beth Reyburn-

That’s good because she sucks- no one likes her!

No!  I really like going to her classes, the times she teaches just down work for me-

Damn it Cole!  She gets shouted out in almost every interview, I was hoping this was going to be the one where you were just going to tell me you avoid her like the plague-

No, no, no.

Well she will know this by the time this is published, but the coaches did a Secret Santa and I was thrilled to get her name because she is fabulous.  Well I think this is a nice segue into some random questions- so if you were to have a theme song play every time you enter the room, what would it be?

Ugh, I should have been prepared for this because I actually read all the interviews.  I love a lot of different music, so I’ll say a song only because it has been on my mind lately, but there is a song called Heavy California by the band Jungle- it is just fun and they are such an interesting different band.  They have like five singers and they all sing at once, but they don’t do harmony, they sing the same note, which is kind of weird.  But I don’t even know what the song is about!

I think that is perfect- vibe is the way to go.  Next up, you have a biopic being made about you, do you have any idea of genre, director, or who would play you in the film?

I’ve been told I look like Scott Foley, but I think it is just the eyebrows because I really don’t see it.  I love comedies- I really like Wes Anderson.  I love all the details and the themes that recur in his films, so I would feel super honored to have him direct!

I love it.  This question sucks on its own, but the answers are always revelatory: if you could be a superhero, what superpower would you pick to have?

Wow…  Hmm… I think I’d choose the power of flight- I’ll just say that.  It would have to be supersonic flight because I like traveling- driving is such a drag.  

I feel like flight and invisibility are the two big ones.  Flight feels so aspirational and invisibility is just a little sneaky isn’t it?

I literally was thinking about flight or invisibility!

That is good!  And the logical follow up to your answer is once all of this Covid bullshit is over with do you have any targeted trips?

Oof, I’ve missed travel so much.  Chase and I have talked about maybe for a honeymoon thing doing an adventure trip in New Zealand; kayaking in the rivers and hiking in the mountains.  It is super scenic and they have so much in that tiny little country-

Awww… you’d be like Frodo and Sam!

Oh my gosh, you have to go to The Shire!  I’ve traveled more than Chase, so there are a lot of places I’d like to go back to but with him.  

Very cool!  That is a positive note to wrap things up on- the idea of being able to travel and go places.  I always like to put a button on things by asking if you have any words of wisdom or reflections as Athlete of the Season.

Um… Just to ask a bunch of questions.  My approach has just been to ask the coach to watch me if I don’t feel sure about something.  There is nothing embarrassing about not knowing what you are doing- we all start that way with something that is new.  Asking for help is never something that is (frowned on).  The community in general is very supportive and helpful.

Stormie! Any questions for Cole before you  leave for the holiday?

Coach Stormie: Oh, you’re recording!  Okay, what was a time at The Shop where you were shocked by something you had accomplished?

That is a good one!

You know, Turkish Get ups are really hard and they are so complicated when you have never done them.  So whenever you actually figure those out- I think that was an accomplishment.  There are so many moving parts.

Stormie: Particularly for someone who has never done one… it is also very entertaining as a coach! *laughing*

Like, you’re going to need a shot of whiskey first!  Cole, anything else on your end?

Well… you asked me to come up with three questions.

Wow!  I wasn’t going to put you on the spot, but let’s have them!

Okay, so I have two for coaches and one for a former athlete:

For Bean, if you were a potato what way would you like to be cooked?

Coach Bean’s answer: “Definitely a French fried potato; it is just the most delicious type of potato”  

For Dane, if you were a fish what type would you be?

Dane responded with a dad-joke: ” Q: Why did the fish blush? A: Because he saw the ocean’s bottom”

And for Meredith (Lovelace), if you could eliminate one food so no one could ever eat it again, what would you destroy?  She likes to cook, so we’ve talked about this before.

Answer from Meredith Lovelace:  “Oh good question!  I think my answer would be black pudding.”

Those are fantastic questions!  I think I was being semi-sarcastic when I asked for you to come up with those, but I think the fact that you’ve done it means it will be a regular feature in the interviews!

Oh, I thought about it!

Stormie: He did his homework!

You’ve left a serious fucking legacy Cole!

Scrambling to Read the Scouting Report

Interviews these days are socially distanced, but that did not prevent me from feeling imminently closer to Derek after this interview.  The ability to engage and interact effectively as a soft-spoken person was one of the driving themes of this interview.  The interview itself, fueled by a couple Pearl Snap Pilsners on the turf outside of our Manor Shop, was a free-flowing and gregarious affair.  Even so, I walked away still believing that Canada is an esoteric idea rather than an actual country.

Ladies and gentlemen as we start this interview, Derek will be showing me a photo of his dog- a blue lacy, the state dog of Texas!  What is your dog’s name?

Rudder- here’s a picture.

That’s a good looking dog- full grown?

Yeah, he is almost nine.  He was a rescue- he has some anxiety stuff going on, so he can be a little bit needy.  If he wants something or doesn’t want to be somewhere, he will let you know.

What prompted the decision to adopt a dog 3 months ago?

I had been looking for a dog for a while and then the pandemic happened and I started second guessing if I really wanted a dog or if it was the onset of isolation.  So I pumped the brakes and waited until I found a dog I liked.  This guy hasn’t had a bad life, but he hasn’t had a life that suited his energy levels so he has a checkered past.  So I met him and really liked him but was a little discouraged by his past; but then I thought, if someone like me doesn’t adopt him, who is going to?  So I did and it has been great.  I live by the greenbelt, so I take him down there a lot.  He’s not super clingy or cuddly, but he’s got a lot of personality; we just hang out.

Markedly different from my dog.  Wednesdays are my admin day and I pretty much worked a full day from my couch with him curled up on my lap the whole time.  So since I don’t know you terribly well, I didn’t want to come into the interview with too many preconceived questions.  I know that you’re Canadian, that you’re kind and soft spoken, and that I like you and that is about it, so I just want to learn a bit more.  I did ask the other coaches if they had questions for you and Stormie had a great one- she noted that you are a big fan of live music and was curious if there were any shows or artists you were targeting for when we can do stuff like that again.

That is a good question.  Two things on my radar that got cancelled were a Jason Isbell concert that I had tickets to at ACL, so hopefully I can do that-

Have you seen him live?

No!

I’ve seen him in like five different states and he is amazing live.

Now I’m even more excited!  The other thing I had circled was a Sturgill Simpson & Tyler Childers concert at the stadium where the UT basketball team plays.  I really wanted to go but tickets were crazy expensive.

Yeah they were!

I was willing to deal with that and even go solo, I wanted to go so badly.  So if those two things get rescheduled and I can do them in 2021, I’ll be extremely happy.  But it is at best 50/50 I would guess.  *rueful laughter* So yeah, I do miss The Scoot Inn and Stubbs; I’ll see anything there.  I just like that it is outdoor year round and the vibe.  

I saw my first show at Mohawk in February.

I saw a band there just before the pandemic and it was supposed to be outside, but it snowed, so they moved it inside to that little room.  It was awesome, it was gross and sweaty!

I like gross and sweaty- it is why I work at Dane’s Body Shop.

It is why I come to Dane’s Body Shop!  Just get gross and sweaty once every day.

Is there an analogue between appreciating the communal vibes in something like a concert and the communal vibes in a place like Dane’s?

Maybe.  Maybe there is an analogue between those venues and The Shop.  The thing that is great about (live music shows) is you go and see all walks of life, just like at The Shop.  They also have a grittiness and a character that make them what they are.

So you like grit!  That is now something I know about you.  As someone who is seeking to know you a little bit better, could you give me just a brief rundown on who you are, where you come from, and how you got here?

Yeah totally.  I grew up in Ottawa Canada- a small town outside of there actually.  My whole adolescence, I was obsessed with basketball.

And you’re a tall man, so that makes sense.

Yep- I kind of got pulled into it but then fell in love with it.  I went to Carleton University in Ottawa and I was a small part of a very successful program there.  That program has won lots of national championships and beat a lot of good American schools- schools you would think that we had no business beating given what basketball is in Canada versus what it is in the U.S.

What position did you play?

I was a power forward- so a little undersized-

Because you’re six foot…

6’5″.

You’re taller than (Charles) Barkley!

Yeah, I was a chippy 6’5″.  I did that for five years- I wasn’t a starter, but I felt like I had an important role on the team and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.  All the people I met, we are still close friends.  Great relationships- we took (the team) so seriously and it prepared me for so many things.

When you say it prepared you for things, can you give an example of how playing on this team prepared you for something in another part of your life?

Yeah, if I draw parallels to my job and being a professional, the toughest day that I have at work, there is no question that the stuff I dealt with in basketball felt like there was more pressure, more at stake, and harder to get through.  There was a group of people that I was in it with and we were all accountable to one another, so the seriousness of that compared to anything I do at work makes (work) seem easier.

That’s cool, so basketball in Ottawa and then from there?

I have a degree in environmental studies and I got a job working for Natural Resources Canada as a project coordinator.  I eventually got a job as a project manager at the company I work for now.  About three years ago I was given an opportunity within the company to move to Austin and so now here I am.

That leads nicely into a question Dane asked- and I’m actually going to change his question around a bit-

Because it wasn’t a very good question?

Yes! And also he coached my virtual programming today and he changed my programming around so I’m going to change his fucking question!

An eye for an eye!

Exactly!  So he has observed that you are a soft spoken person and I think he assumes that you are an introvert, so he was curious about how you process it when coaches talk to you during a workout.  Like do you like it?  The way I’d like to reframe it is, you’ve been very much not an introvert during this interview- I don’t feel like I’ve had to draw anything out of you-

Because you gave me a beer!

Fair enough!  So I will reframe the question as how do you view the synergy of being someone who is soft-spoken but is also an effective communicator?

Hmmm… to address the perception that Dane has, I think he is probably pretty accurate- I probably am an introvert at first, but very shortly afterwards I’m a pretty social person.  I don’t know if that makes me an introvert.

You still might be an extrovert because it really isn’t about first meetings.

Hmmm.. Well, I mean I get a lot of energy off of other people-

You’re an extrovert!

Though I do like to be left on my own a lot, I do get a lot of energy and enjoy interacting with other people.  To answer the question, I actually like it when coaches talk to me and wish they would do it more.

That was my instinct- that you like it when people talk to you.

If the coaches read this, I would say that I welcome it; part of the reason I come here is to get the coaching.  I may not be super approachable, but I’m totally down.  I’m a reasonably good athlete and I’ve been doing fitness stuff for a huge part of my life, but I still have things I’m not great at.  I also don’t want to hurt myself.  If I’m lifting something heavy and my form doesn’t look great, I want to hear about it.

There is definitely a spectrum of members with respect to body awareness and acumen and you are on the more advanced end of that, so I wonder if coaches pick up on that and just think “oh he’s fine, I’ll pay attention to someone else”.

If that is the perception I think they should look again, cause I think they would find I’m not very advanced.

Coaches of Dane’s Body Shop, our Spotlight Athlete is calling out for you to stop ignoring him!

That would be a great outcome of this interview- if I got some more coaching.  Not that I’m complaining.

I think Dane is going to be pleasantly surprised by that answer.

I wonder what I did to make him think that I don’t like being coached-

I think maybe he is projecting.  I think he is someone who has been forced to be in the limelight and he is actually a true introvert- he charges up when he is alone.  As good as he is around people, I think it is difficult for him from an energy standpoint.

Another good outcome of this interview would be if I got to meet more people at The Shop.  I’ve tried to make a point recently to be more outgoing saying hi and starting conversation.  There are a lot of cool nice people here.  

How long have you been at The Shop?

 A little over two years.

Cool.  So I think you making that effort is part of why you were such an easy choice for the Athlete Spotlight- I think that effort in reaching out is something that has been in the air recently.  I wonder if Dane hasn’t coached you as much recently and hasn’t seen the more deliberately engaging version of you.  I’ve only started coaching you more recently and to me I absolutely see you reaching out and connecting.  For a quiet person, I see you connecting to a good amount of other members.  Do you have any fun stories about meeting other members or what your current workout relationship is like?

Obviously I work out with Sam (Wilson) a lot.  He’s probably one of the most recognizable people at The Shop-

He’s a character-

Yeah!  And we push one another but not too much-

So not a full on bro out, just a medium bro out?

Yeah, medium levels of bro.  I’m going to miss (Coach) Mitch because we had a lot of inside jokes.  We would talk about the Houston Rockets- hopefully he reads this- and how awful James Harden is.

I hope he does read this!  I like when a little bit of shit gets stirred up.

I like working out with the people I know, but I also like just picking someone that I know will be able to do the workout quicker than I can and then try to keep up.  Like Paul (Wittman-Todd), if there is running I know he is always going to beat me and I want to change that!  Mel (Pearce Hooper) is another one.  Even if people don’t know that I’m competing with them-

I think that is cool- having that rabbit to chase.  You’ve got such a laid back demeanor, that I wouldn’t have guessed that about you.  Putting the entire membership at Dane’s Body Shop on notice that if they are in class with a tall Canadian, he might be competing with you!  I actually do that too- if I’m going to workout after I coach, I’ll note which weights someone like you is using and then force myself to do that.  So I use you as my rabbit!  Do you have any particular goals that you are working on?

I think for the first little bit, I was just trying to gain a level of consistency in fitness.  I felt like I got a good base over the first year or so; that I could regularly do five or six classes a week.  And then a few months ago I started doing Strength class, so I’d like to see how this cycle (until the next benchmark testing) goes and see how I do.  I’m just trying to extend any athleticism that I had and to stay healthy.  As a big guy, you want to stay at a good weight.

That is smart.  I’ve told you that I came up with a slur for tall people right?  That I figured tall people had it too easy and they needed a pejorative term against them.  So I call you reachers.  You goddamn reachers!  I’ve since come around to sympathizing with you and your kind though.

*laughing*  I would like to have been taller actually- it would have been useful.  Overall though, not a lot to complain about.

Fair enough.  Now I would like us to move on to some more random questions.  The first one is, do you have a favorite basketball player of all time?  Or in your case do you have a player you would compare yourself to.  I was definitely a Rodman- all effort no skill.

What about off the court?

Um, no comment… but yes definitely.

I was obsessed with Michael Jordan as a kid, but Vince Carter was essentially a god in Canada.  The current rise of popularity for basketball in Canada is directly related to him.  *Dear readers, as a post interview caveat Mr. McConnery asked that his affinity for Larry Bird be noted.  Larry Legend, Derek Diligent.*  I would like to say I was a poor man’s Charles Barkley.  Not nearly as athletic-

Or chubby.

Eh maybe.

I was a chubby kid and I grew up in Arizona, so Barkley was my freaking hero.  That’s great, so one of the artsy questions I like to ask is if there were a movie about your life could you identify any of the following: A. who would play you? B. who would direct the movie? or C. what would the genre be?

Pass.  I would like to answer, but I just don’t watch enough movies.

Fair enough, do you know who would dominate the soundtrack?

I can’t shake Dawes.  I just love that band.  Thoughtful but unassuming.

Here’s a follow up question to that and it is another question I ask frequently.  If you had entrance music like a wrestler or just walking into a room, what song would play?

Oh!  Audioslave, Cochise.  That would be my walkout music as a batter or wrestler.

I like that!  I’m digging the music riff here.  Did you have any pre-game music when you played basketball?

Nah.  A lot of people had music to calm them down or amp them up, but I was always just scrambling to read the scouting report.  

If you were to describe yourself as a vegetable or fruit, what would it be and why?

Ummmmm…. I would say something with a shell or something you have to peel.  The inside might not be sweet exactly, but like tasty and rewarding- you’re happy that you did.  Maybe like a potato.

If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

I would really like to be fast.  I’d like to be The Flash.

That is great- it ties back in to what we were talking about with having rabbits in class to chase.  What would you do with that power?

I’d beat all those people I was chasing in class!

The questions that I’ve been circling as a button question is the Canada thing.  I think when I first met you I told you that I don’t believe Canada is real.  One of my close friends has a belief that everyone is allowed one completely batty belief that no one can question.  I just believe that there is no way that there is this entire enormous country of people mostly just like us but just a little nicer and the whole place is colder than Chicago.  So my view is that Canada just cannot exist.

So based on the nature of the question, I have to just let you have that belief?  I can’t ask you to substantiate it?

Nope!  But I’m an open minded person, so I’m going to ask you to talk me off this ledge and get me to believe that Canada is real.  Some evidence beyond the Toronto Bluejays t-shirt you are currently wearing.

Prove Canada exists?  It may be proof that one day I won’t be able to workout at The Shop because I’ve gone back to Canada.

This is an extra reason for me to double down and believe Canada isn’t real.  Fuck Canada!

If your theory is correct I’ll be here forever.

Extra reason to double down on my belief!

Um… we have currency.

Called the looney!

There is also a two dollar coin called a twoney-

This is crazy!  I’m more convinced than ever that Canada is not real!  Okay, so that was a primer question to the bigger question.  What is your irrational belief that no one may dispute?

Oh gosh… I think ghosts are real.  I can’t explain exactly what is going on- 

That is the point- you don’t have to!

Thank you!  I think that people who open themselves up to possibility and believe in things of a spiritual nature are able to experience those things and find meaning in a way that other people ignore.  This isn’t a personal thing, but there are people in my life who have articulated things they’ve seen in such a way that I’m just forced to believe them.

That’s fantastic.  Before we wrap things up, I just wanted to give you an open-ended opportunity to dispense any advice or thoughts to your constituents because you are now forever in the pantheon of Athletes of the season.

Hmm… I would say to people that the best part of Dane’s is that you’ll get what you put into it. Whether it is once or twice a week or totally dedicating yourself to it then you can get something out of it.  You should be confident that whatever you are into, getting super fit or being more social, Dane’s is a good place.  Just, you know, have a plan and do your thing.  I’ve gotten a lot out of the consistency.

Yeah, you mentioned coming five or six times a week- that is a pretty high number.  Do you have any advice for getting that level of consistency for people who may look at you and go, how does he do that?

Not every day is going to be your best day.  You just need to show up.  If you show up and do the best you can do that day, then you are well on your way to being consistent.  Don’t overthink it- just get there; if you’re like me then other people’s energy will lift you up.  Don’t beat yourself if there are days that you don’t feel as strong or fast as on your best day.