Madison “Max” Baker – June BAM – Hyde Park

Gung-ho About this Shit
as transcribed by Chad

Max Baker brought the goods in this interview.  I expected caustic humor with a tinge of self-deprecation, honesty, and plenty of f-bombs.  Max delivered on all fronts, for probably the most textured and surprising interview I’ve conducted to date.  You’re not going to want to miss reading every word of this interview- probably best to not read it out loud in front of your children though!

Have you ever been interviewed before?

I mean, a job interview.

Well this is twice as important as any job interview.  The first thing I wanted to do was get your impression of The Strong Person Mini Meet.  

I felt like it was a little height biased.  It was very pro-height.  I had a ton of fun.  I’m not the most social guy at the gym, so this three hour fun community event gave me a chance to talk to people I’ve never talked to before. The event itself was fun, I mean *#$&, who doesn’t like to win? *laughs*  

Were you surprised that you won?

I don’t think I thought about it- I thought I might have a chance to be toward the upper half.  With the exception of (The Push-Pull Mini Meet) I hadn’t done any of these meets, so I didn’t know what to expect.  I did know that I was good at some of the things that Dane was dropping hints about.

Did you have a favorite event?

I liked the hand over hand pull.  I think I’ve got the technique down- don’t let the tire stop moving.

You had an epic flop on to your back at the end of that event.  That was one of my favorite parts of the meet.

Yeah, I remember the look on John Whiteley’s face when I did that.  He did not seem too pleased.  It always makes me happy when I can piss that guy off.  *laughs*  That guy needs to smile more!  *laughs*  I love that guy!

You had a bit of a fan section for this event.  You seemed a little shy about that.  Who was coming to check you out?

Well my mom was there and she brought the neighbor from the house that I grew up in so she would have company.  I’ve never worked out in my entire life, so the last two years of going to Dane’s (my mom) has seen me go from my worst at like 300lbs of just fat to where I’m at now which is pretty gung-ho about this shit.  

And you really are gung-ho about this shit, that is obvious.  What does your gym routine look like?  I know that you do Fusion and Strength, I’ve also seen you take Yoga.  

In a perfect world, I like to do Monday, Wednesday, Friday Fusion- preferably in the evenings.  Strength Tuesday and Thursday, preferably in the evenings.  If I can make Saturday, I try to make it.  I love Pete’s workouts at Manor.  Pete’s got, in my opinion, the best blend of aerobic lifting.  They really burn you out.  I love it.  

So that sort of high intensity is your favorite type of workout?

Now that I’ve quit cigarettes, absolutely.

How big of a difference in your workouts was that for you?

It was big.  I smoked about a pack a day for my first year of going there and I got to a point where even with that bullshit I was performing pretty well.  

Yeah you were!

So you take that out and it is like a weight has been lifted off your back.  It is like training with altitude.  

That was your methodology!

*laughing* Yeah, that was my method.  I was smoking that much for training purposes.

That is a real *#$&ing athlete.  Amen!  So you kind of hit on it, but you like to work out in the evenings.  I know I have trouble working out after a hard day of work.  How do you find the motivation to come so consistently?

Oh man, I’ve just seen too much positive benefit from the effort I’ve put in. And I pay too much goddamn money!  I don’t get off work and drink a beer or smoke a J, so frankly it is just my time to myself to unwind.  I don’t know, it has just become such a positive thing for me that I’m unwilling to sacrifice it no matter how tired I am.  It is now hard for me, even when everything is telling me to take a break, to take a break.

You get dialed in.

I don’t know man.  You know my favorite thing about Dane’s?  No matter how much I don’t want to work out, if I just put on my shoes and I show up, the workout happens.

You kind of already answered my next question, but why is going to the gym important?  You already said it is your relaxation time.

It is a lot of things.  I mean, the mental and physical benefits I’ve seen from the workouts.  It provides me with, I don’t know, positive self image, clarity of mind, an absolute endorphine blast.  Since getting sober, I can’t be lazy.  I spent so much of my life sitting around getting wasted, so now to me just unwinding like that feels unhealthy to me.  I like to go.  If I’m just sitting around, that is when cigarettes look good, and then maybe a beer, and then- I don’t know maybe (going to the gym) has something to do with an addictive personality.  I’m not addicted to it-

Oh I absolutely am!

Maybe I am!  I associate addiction with negatives.  It is just too much a part of my life to not make it.  I don’t go out to bars…

It is just a big part of your life?

Yeah.

Switching gears, I have to ask what is up with Sade?  I love throwing on Sade during a Metcon as much anyone, but the first time I heard you request that, it took me by surprise.

It just makes me laugh.  Everyone plays this high intensity rock or their favorite rap, or general pump-up music which is fine, but I think I like requesting something else because I enjoy *#$&ing with people.  I’ve created a Strength playlist that is a lot of Sade, Chaka Khan, Earth Wind & Fire, Kool and The Gang, Teddy Pendergrast- music that you generally have sex to is the music I like to workout to.  It just makes me smile on the inside.

And I could tell that this was part of your mercurial sense of humor, but I have picked up on the fact that you are a musically savvy person.  Outside of Sade, do you have a type of music that gets you going?

If I had to choose, it would be rap without a doubt.  Nineties era Bay Area rap, like Andre Nickatina and Mac Dre (yes dear readers, I had to look these up as well).  Anderson Paak is really good, do you know who that is?

I actually have one of his songs on my gym playlist!  What do you listen to when you’re not working out?

I’ve got tinnitus in my right ear from South By Southwest, so I don’t go to a lot of shows, but I’ve been collecting vinyl since I was in 7th grade and I have a turn table.  I like music all over the map.  You’re going to bring out the grandpa in me, but there is this folk singer from the 70’s named Karen Dalton- she has this album I bought that is phenomenal.  Everything from folk to rap.  I just like music that comes from a place of authenticity.

You have a background in film right?  How did you get into that?

I was a pretty nerdy and withdrawn kid.  I spent a lot of time by myself- I’m an only child- so I developed some bizarre taste in film. I used to live down the street from Vulcan Video and Antone’s Records and go there every weekend as a kid.  I used to go to the cult section of Vulcan which just had the weirdest shit.  I was like thirteen years old renting “Dolemite”- I got into some really obscure movies and I just really loved everything.  

And you ended up moving out to California?

Yeah, I did my last semester at U.T. in L.A.  I got my film degree and worked in editing movie trailers.  

Awesome.  Did you enjoy that?

No, not really.  That is when I got to my most unhealthy point.  Lots of drinking and drug use on the job.  High stress, long work days.  You work on cool stuff, you get paid to work on movies, you show up at a party and people think it is so cool.  It has got cache, but I don’t think it responded to me on a certain level.  I got into film because I love documentaries and practical special effects.  But, I found myself working in advertising.  As sexy as it was or as cool as it was, man I just never felt it.  I hate working in computers and it is just all working in front of computers.

So no plan to get back into that?

Oh no, not editing.  What I plan on doing going forward is probably a longer question than I can answer.  I think about it a lot.

Maybe we will find a fun way to button back to that at the end of the interview.  Let’s go ahead and pause to enjoy pizza.  (And we did pause here.  Glorious glorious pizza!  Dear Via 313, how I will miss you!!!  Back to the interview…) We’re picking back up with some completely random questions here.  


Okay, so you’ve made some different decisions in your life and you’re on death row, what is your final meal?  Does Pizza make the cut?

I feel like I would want pizza in there.  I’m such a fat-ass down deep.  I feel like I would want a little bit of everything- A lot of ice cream.

Do you have a favorite ice cream?  Don’t say “Halo-Top”!

*laughing* I don’t know what that is.

It is the ice cream that somehow they make an entire pint that is only three hundred calories.

Ahh!  I’ve gotta go classic- cookies and cream Blue Bell.  I could eat a half gallon in a sitting.

So pizza and ice cream?

That is a terrible answer!  Avocado is my favorite single ingredient.  My old answer would have been pizza, ice cream, a hamburger from Dan’s, all this bullshit, but nowadays it would be something like a really *#$&-ing fancy plant-based chef meal.

If you’re nominating someone from the Dane’s Body Shop community to run for president, who would it be?

Someone I think would win, or someone I would want?

Split the difference.  Someone you think could win and someone you could stand behind.

Kind of a cop out answer, but Dane being so *#$&-ing handsome would have the best shot.  This is where I’m at a supreme disadvantage being so unfriendly and not knowing people’s names.

When I’ve asked this, people have tended to lean toward coaches, which I think is something of a cop out.  Like people have said Autumn, which I can get behind.

Of the coaches?  I think you’d make a fantastic president.

I think I might have a high upside and a low floor.  Probably a dangerous choice.

Without a doubt, you’d be the best of the coach options.

Do you know Tom (Sennett)?

Heck yeah man, I love Tom!  I showed up at 5am for a month out of necessity and now no matter what, whenever I see him, like across the gym, he yells something like Max you look great!  It’s like man, stop it!  I mean, it is really great- you can’t put this in the interview because I really love Tom.  Him and Jacob (Umanzor).  Actually, Jacob counts.  He’d bring this country out of the quagmire it is currently in.

I think that is absolutely the right answer.  The last thing I like to put a button on these interviews with is an opportunity for you to issue any decrees or words of wisdom.  Anything you’d like to share with your puny supplicants?

Implement more squat thrusters.  Go harder?

Is that what would be on your BAM! tombstone?

“Squat thrusters; dot, dot, dot, Go harder”? Yeah, that sounds good.